With You

I was in such a mess that Mike drove me back to Teal's. By the time we reached the apartment, I'd calmed down a little. My breath came in little gasps, my eyes were blood shot and they stung. So did my heart. No, that was an understatement. My heart felt like Rob's hands were tearing it apart inside my chest. Seeing him with that slut was way too much for me to handle. The way she called him “babe” made me want to tear her completely apart.

When Teal saw me, she was immediately concerned. “What happened?”

“Rob was at the studio. With Sam,” Mike explained as I sat down on the couch.

“That dick!” Teal snapped.

Mike shook his head and sighed. “I better go.” He leaned over to Teal, thinking I wasn't listening, and whispered, “Teal, you should watch her. She had a serious breakdown and I want to make sure she's going to be okay.”

Teal nodded and Mike left.

“You want something?” Teal asked me with careful eyes.

I looked up at her, not bothering to hide my feelings behind a casual expression that I knew would fail and I asked for water. Teal went into the kitchen and I buried my face in my hands.

I was beyond humiliated at how I'd fell apart in front of everyone after I'd tried so hard to build a wall. I didn't want people to know how bad it hurt. I wanted them to think I could handle losing my husband, who I thought was so perfect, to some whore; I wanted them to think I was strong when I was falling apart.

My best friend brought the glass of water, but I didn't drink it. I was too busy replaying that moment when I pushed Rob away, how I'd told my own husband to leave me the hell alone and not to touch me, when all I wanted was for him to touch me and tell me we would be okay, that this was all just a bunch of shit and that I needed to come back home because he couldn't live without me.

But–if he ever would have said that–I didn't know if I could believe him again. He'd broken my trust. If we did work things out, would he do it again? Would he run to some other skank and leave me with heartbreak again?

</3

I slipped on Rob's white shirt, buttoning only two of the buttons, before Rob pulled me back down beside him. I smiled and rolled over on top of him, folding my hands over his chest and leaning against them.

“I should go to work,” I said resentfully.

“Why? You're already four hours late anyway,” Rob smiled, noticing how I twitched when his fingers ran up my thigh.

“Good point...”

Rob lifted his head and kissed me. “I have something to give you.”

Cocking my head to the side, I asked, “What?”

Rob brought his hand up to my face, a diamond ring between his thumb and index finger. “I want you to marry me.” My eyes widened, a thrill running down my spine at the object in between his fingers. “If you want time to think about it, that's fine. But I just want you to–”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I'll marry you,” I answered.

I grinned as Rob slipped the ring on my finger and then kissed my knuckles. “This means that I'll love you forever,” he said.

My eyes opened to find the spot next to me barren. I wasn't in our house, in our bed. I was in Teal's apartment, away from Rob because he didn't love me. He'd lied to me. A stray tear fell from my eye before I wiped it away and studied the wedding ring on my finger.

I’d been unable to take it off. I didn’t feel right. We were still married, that’s what I kept telling myself. No use taking it off right now.

My phone vibrated on the night stand. There was a text message from Rob. I usually deleted them, but Mike had said we needed to talk.

We need to talk in person. I have something I need to tell you.

I contemplated that for a moment before I texted back. Fine. At the studio. Even though the guys were neutral in this whole thing, I knew I still had their support.

I dropped the phone beside me, hoping to catch a few more moments of sleep without Rob haunting my dreams again. My phone vibrated.

Ok. Today at one?

Yeah.

</3

Teal leaned against the bathroom wall while I paced impatiently, throwing angry glances at the pregnancy test on the counter.

“Dammit,” I muttered, running my hand through my hair. I went over and looked at the tiny screen. Oh, shit.

Teal looked at me. “Positive?”

I nodded and we shared a look. “There's three more, right?”

Positive. Positive. Positive.

“Shit. Shit. Shit!” I collapsed on the couch.

“You're going to tell him today, right?” Teal said, sitting beside me.

“Maybe. Eventually...”

It was really cold inside the studio after being in the LA heat. I met Bob with a forced smile again and walked down the hall. Rob came out of one of the rooms and gestured to the one across from it. When we were both inside, he closed the door behind him.

He stepped forward and I stepped back involuntarily. Taking a deep breath, Rob looked at me with the most pitiful expression. He looked like crap. “Jen, you know I would never try to hurt you–”

“You did though,” I said flatly.

He closed his eyes and nodded. “I know.” His eyes opened again. “You need to know I love you and I never wanted this to happen. I don't know what happened, but...” He trailed off and looked at the wall to his left. I waited in silence, hoping he would get to the point. He didn't look at me again when he spoke. “Sam's pregnant.”

It was like someone had stabbed me in a gut and then twisted the burning knife over and over again. I had to react quickly before I lost it. I moved to the door and opened it partially, making Rob look at me.

“Jen, please...”

You'll be hearing from my lawyer,” I said, voice steady despite the tears that were beginning to trickle down my cheeks.

“What?” he asked in disbelief.

“I want a divorce.” I threw open the door and walked briskly down the hall.

If there was any chance that Rob and I would get back together, it was gone now. Rob didn't stop me and I was glad of that. Or at least as glad as I could be making one of the hardest decisions of my life.