With You

For the next two days, I was puking my guts out. Rob was trying everything to make me more comfortable, but most of the time I was holed up in the bus’s bathroom. The constant motion of the bus was making it worse. I could not wait to get into a hotel.

The side of my head was pressed against the wall, nausea was gone for the moemnt as the bus crawled along. No doubt it’d be back. Finally, the bus came to a stop and I let out a sigh of relief. My neck muscles were killing me. The rest of my body ached and my head was throbbing dully. The door opened and Rob stepped inside.

“I’ll get out of here. Eventually.”

Rob didn’t say anything and, instead, picked me up and carried me out. I was surprised, but not at all upset about it. I hadn’t kept food down in days and doubted I could walk out of there straight anyhow. I wrapped my arms around his neck, muttered a thank you, and closed my eyes. I’m sure people would be wondering about me when Rob walked into the hotel.

The jolt of the elevator sent my stomach twisting and I tensed. God, let me go five minutes without puking. The elevator came to another jolt and we were moving again.

Rob walked a short ways and then I heard the door open.

“Hope you feel, better, Jen,” Chester said. I guessed he’d gotten the door open for us.

Rob set me down on the bed and I sighed. A bed that didn’t move...amazing. But the nausea churned I my stomach and I got up, rushing to the bathroom.

“I think you need to go to a doctor,” Rob said after I’d gotten done dry heaving.

“Its just the flu,” I replied, scooting away from the toilet and laying down on the floor.

Rob sat down beside me and I put my head in his lap.

“I’m sorry,” he said, pushing the hair back from my face.

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” I said. “Here I am puking a being a total wimp.”

“You’re not a wimp,” Rob told me. “You’re sick.”

I nodded and closed my eyes. Maybe I should go to a doctor...I mean, I hadn’t been this sick since–

My eyes snapped oepn and looked at Rob.

“Oh, God.”

“What?” he asked, looking down at me with worry.

I swallowed hard. “I think I’m pregnant.”

<3

I paced the bathroom, too nervous to feel sick. If I needed to throw up, the toilet was right there. And the pregnancy test...

Rob was leaning against the wall, watching me. “Jen, relax.”

“I can’t! What if I am?”

“Then you are.”

“Do you even want to have kids?”

“You know I did...but do you?”

“I didn’t...”He knew that answer. “...but I don’t know. The first time...I didn’t have you and I was just pissed at the world! I wasn’t ready! But after I lost it...I guess it kind of changed.”

“You do then?”

“Yes! But...I’d never make a good mother. And something could go wrong. What if I miscarry again? Rob, I can’t go through that again! What if...its born with autism or something? Do you want a boy or a girl? What if–”

“Jen, Jen, Jen.” Rob pulled me into his arms. “You’re thinking too much. And if any of it does happen...we can’t help it, okay?”

I nodded. He was right. I needed to start off by becoming a calmer person...He let go of me I went over to the counter. I ran a hand through my hair and picked up the test.

“So?”

I looked up at him and couldn’t stop the smile.

“I’m pregnant!”

He swept me up in his arms and I squealed, wrapping my arms around his neck. Excitement was the first thing I felt. And then it came crashing down. When Rob set me down, he saw my face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“I think we got that.”

“No, Rob. I am pregnant! I have...a living thing...I’m pregnant! I’m going to get fat!”

Rob hung his head. “You’re not going to get fat.”

“Yes, I am! And I’m going to be an absolute bitch to you. Trust me. I had to deal with my mother when she had my younger siblings. And I’m just like her.”

Rob put his hands on my shoulders. “That doesn’t change a thing.”

“I’m kinda terrified now,” I admitted.

He hugged me and I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Don’t be. I’ll be here for you, okay?”

I nodded and looked up at him. “I don’t want to tell anybody yet...incase what happened last time–”

“What happened last time won’t happen this time,” he said firmly.

I nodded. “Okay.” I laid my head against his chest.

There was so much to look forward to. So many things to happen and to look forward to. I hated it. But at the same time I was looking forward to all of it.

“Rob?”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t believe I’m pregnant...”