The Kind Of Reckless

I hold my phone out in front of me. The room is dark, and it’s my only source of light at the moment. I stare in wonder, at the text that I got five minutes ago.
From: Justin Bieber<3
Can we talk, please baby? Meet me at the lake. Now?
A month without any contact, without looking at me, and this is all I get?
I don’t want to go. A part of me is screaming, “This is going to end in a disaster.”
But the other half is whispering, “You need to talk to him.”
So, I sneak out of my bedroom window, and race around the house and down the street. A block later, I pull out my phone once again and use it as a light source as I try to find the entrance to the park.
I see the silhouette before I can hear him. His breathing is quiet, and he stands against the Oak. Our Oak. He faces to the left of where I’m facing.
“Justin?” I whisper.
The figure jumps, and faces me, walking out of the shadow—into more shadow.
“Victoria?”
I nod, and take a few steps closer. My heart pounds with fear. I know this is going to end badly. I just know it.
“I was…I was worried you wouldn’t come.” He says, finishing the distance between us. Justin takes my hand, and I get those butterflies once again.
“I almost didn’t.”
He looks down at his shoes and sighs.
“A month.”
He snaps his head up.
“What?”
“A month. You went a month without speaking to me. Not even looking at me, when we had concerts.”
“I…I told you I needed time.”
“Well, was that enough time? Because you’re welcome to some more."
“What is with you?” He yells.
“I said I was sorry.” I say, looking down at the grass.
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did.” I snap, looking into his eyes, which, even in the dark, still shimmer beautifully.
“No. You said that you wished I could’ve been the one. But you never said you were sorry.”
My lip trembles.
“I…”
Justin pulls me into a hug.
“You’re not the one who should be sorry.”
“Why’s that?”
“I over-reacted.”
“Well, not really. I probably would’ve reacted the same way had it been you.”
“No, I over-reacted.”
I pull away and step back. My eyes search his for some sort of explanation, but Justin sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
“This…last month…when I wasn’t speaking to you…Well, I—I visited one of my friends.”
I cock my head to the side, curious.
“Selena.”
Her name echoes in my head, but it sounds like it echoes in the park as my eyes widen and I step back again.
“And…you know Selena…She’s always…Had a thing for me.”
Tears start in my eyes, and I try to blink them away.
“So, how did you get over what I did?”
“She…She came onto me. And I was so upset. And we—we kissed. A lot.”
I nod, and the tears fall.
“In public.”
More tears spring to my eyes as my body shakes with sobs.
“But then I realized that we were broken up, when you did what you did. And you were hurting. And that you needed somebody, and Kendall was there. So, I had no reason to be mad. Upset, sure. But not mad like I was.”
I nod.
“So, in reality, I screwed up. The—the paparazzi…they were there. When Selena and I…”
“So they have a picture of you two kissing. Which means that everyone will think you’re together.”
Justin nods.
“Scooter and Selena’s mom want us to fake the relationship, just for a few months. Just until we can ‘break up’.” He puts air quotes around ‘break up’.
“So, what do we do about ‘us’.” I put air quotes around ‘us’. But my hands do it loosely, and just fall to my sides.
“I…I want us to be together still.”
I just shake my head.
“And what if people see us together?”
Justin nods, understanding my point.
“Plus I don’t know if I could trust you if I saw you and her together, knowing that we’re still together.”
Justin steps closer to me and holds my face in his hands.
“This doesn’t change how I feel about you. We can pick up again. I promise.”
“Justin…I don’t know how much your promises mean to me anymore.”