The Pay Back
Chapter 4
By now I’m 24, a business administration honors graduate. Yes I made it into college to complete my "good boy" image. And to my surprise, I really enjoyed it. The idea of owning a business really made its way into my head. Not because I want to work but because of the power that comes with it. I haven’t really changed but now in college, girls are easier to get. Most of the time they come back to my dorm room on first or second date and I never stayed with one more than a few days. Of course my titles "heartbreaker" and "playboy" where still there but who cannot believe the words of an angel? The words that every girl out there dreams of, reads about, and looks for? My innocent looks never left me, if anything they were even better; and I used them to the limit. Who wouldn’t? Everyone loved me. Even those whom I’ve played and left still had some hope to get me back. No one can even resist me.
I didn’t really quit my job even though I and my friends don’t talk now. I still sold those tapes of the girls but of course my face never shown. As for my sister I stopped using her when she became 8, when she was old enough to understand. I still need to be on her good side if I want to make my mother pay for that time she slapped me. It’s not that I have an unforgiving heart or anything, but no one gets away with doing something to me that I didn’t like. I don’t know if my father has gotten out of jail or not. I never heard of him or visited him in jail and I don’t really care. He was the reason that thing was born. They destabilized my life and he had to pay. As for my mother, she still loves me. Even more then my sister whom I had managed to make her loose favor with my mother. I'd steal money from my mother and put it in its wardrobe and I enjoyed watching it getting punished. I even once bought a few cigarettes and put them in its school bag which caused it a week's punishment.
I was never caught for all I did at home or school. Being caught wasn’t in my plan. I can’t loose favor with anyone. I must always be loved. By those whom I love and hate. You see, I have a sensitive heart. Being detested by anyone hurts me deeply and causes me many sleepless nights. I need to be loved. I need the feelings of everyone to surround me. To make me feel powerful. What is a man without power? And my power feeds off peoples love. Till this day I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t love me. Whenever I met anyone who loves me I feel powerful and that was the main reason I loved college. I was surrounded by love all the time. I was even elected president and I used that to me benefit. That added title suited me to perfection. I wished that the college days would never end.
I graduated and went looking for a job and I vowed to make every single one who refused me pay. One day I was wandering around when I met one of my old college friends who studied computer science and technology and we went to lunch and he started telling me about how we can work together and build a successful business since both of us were top students. I instantly liked the idea and we started studying the possibilities. We at last settled on something that suited both of us. Making computers. Using computers will help me in selling my tapes and give me the power I'm hungry for. And will indulge my friend’s passion of technology. I bought the used parts because I have the money and George, my friend, worked on them, fixed them and together we built our company. He constructed the computers; I advertised and took care of the records. Little by little our “GEM COMPUTER CO.” became the most known computer company for miles around. People came from all sorts of places to buy our computers and other productions. But there was one problem. I didn’t want a partner.
I didn’t want partners. I didn’t want to share my victory with anyone. I didn’t want to share my power with anyone so I had to do something about it. After a year of starting our company has flourished and I had enough workers that make George useless to me and I decided I don't need him there anymore. I took him for a weekend to my beach house because he was over worked. He was so drunk to realize what’s happening and because I wasn’t much into drinking I managed to benefit from him. He signed a paper that says that he sold me his share of the company. I gave him a little something to help him sleep well and drove him back to his home. The next day I got a call from his brother saying that George is dead.
I became the sole owner of my company and I decided to expand it. I made my own brand of cell phones and little by little my company became bigger than the ones that refused to hire me when I graduated. Some of them went bankrupt, and the others were still suffering from the thinning crowd that visited them. I became so rich and I was living now in a mansion with a pool in the front garden. The dream house of any girl. I became the only topic discussed in girls’ sleepover, the one they rumored about and dreamt of. I always had more girls then I knew what to do with. Hmmm let me rephrase that. I always had more girls then I can get on tape. Yes I'm still into that. Hobbies don’t die easily. Until one day when I found myself hitting the floor.
I hired a new beautiful private secretary. She seemed to be real good at her work and she was really stupid. But no matter what I said I couldn’t seem to get her to like me. For some reason she hated me without even knowing me. I tried talking to her, turning on my charm to the maximum, trying to seduce her, bribe her, hint about commitment but nothing seemed to be getting to her. It was driving me mad? What was in me that she couldn’t possibly love? It gave me many sleepless nights but I couldn’t bring myself to fire her. Why? Why don't I fire her? I just told myself it is because that’s the first woman who has not loved me instantly.
By now my mother and her daughter had no place in my life. I don't know anything about them and I don't want to know. I heard that my mother was in hospital fighting cancer a few months ago but that’s none of my business anymore. She is paying for what she did to me. It’s been 6 months since I hired Hannah and till this day I still can’t get her or make myself fire her. Last night I was lying in bed thinking about how to make her like me when I realized something. For the last 6 months I haven’t touched a woman. I’ve been too busy trying to get Hannah that I forgot about the rest of the women out there? What’s wrong with me? Am I getting sick?
The next day I was going around in my car trying to clear my mind when something caught my eyes. There was Hannah … but she wasn’t alone. There was a guy with her. And they looked like they were in a heated argument. I parked at a safe distance and sat watching them wondering who is he. A brother? Friend? Boyfriend? Fiancé? Husband? I shook my head not liking the idea. I turned around for a second and when I looked back, the guy had taken off running and Hannah was lying on the pavement unconscious with a knife sticking out of her stomach.
For a long period of time that must have been a few seconds, I snapped out of my shock and ran to her, I picked her up carefully and took her to the hospital. After 2 long hours in the waiting room the doctor came out to tell me that she is going to be ok. My relief at hearing that made the tears that had been threatening to fall spill and I found myself crying for the first time since I can remember.
For the next few days I spent most of my time with Hannah in the hospital room. It was already full to the brim with flowers all from me. I got really close to her and learned that she is an orphan with no family and was brought up in an orphanage. I found out that we liked the same things. Same favorite color, ice cream flavor and most of everything else. I enjoyed our long talks and her company. She had a great sense of humor and a playful spirit that just drew me to her. I seemed to be unable to stay away from her. And my feelings were scaring me. What’s happening to me? I’ve always been a playboy. Why the sudden change? I didn’t like the answer that my heart proposed to that question.
I didn’t really quit my job even though I and my friends don’t talk now. I still sold those tapes of the girls but of course my face never shown. As for my sister I stopped using her when she became 8, when she was old enough to understand. I still need to be on her good side if I want to make my mother pay for that time she slapped me. It’s not that I have an unforgiving heart or anything, but no one gets away with doing something to me that I didn’t like. I don’t know if my father has gotten out of jail or not. I never heard of him or visited him in jail and I don’t really care. He was the reason that thing was born. They destabilized my life and he had to pay. As for my mother, she still loves me. Even more then my sister whom I had managed to make her loose favor with my mother. I'd steal money from my mother and put it in its wardrobe and I enjoyed watching it getting punished. I even once bought a few cigarettes and put them in its school bag which caused it a week's punishment.
I was never caught for all I did at home or school. Being caught wasn’t in my plan. I can’t loose favor with anyone. I must always be loved. By those whom I love and hate. You see, I have a sensitive heart. Being detested by anyone hurts me deeply and causes me many sleepless nights. I need to be loved. I need the feelings of everyone to surround me. To make me feel powerful. What is a man without power? And my power feeds off peoples love. Till this day I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t love me. Whenever I met anyone who loves me I feel powerful and that was the main reason I loved college. I was surrounded by love all the time. I was even elected president and I used that to me benefit. That added title suited me to perfection. I wished that the college days would never end.
I graduated and went looking for a job and I vowed to make every single one who refused me pay. One day I was wandering around when I met one of my old college friends who studied computer science and technology and we went to lunch and he started telling me about how we can work together and build a successful business since both of us were top students. I instantly liked the idea and we started studying the possibilities. We at last settled on something that suited both of us. Making computers. Using computers will help me in selling my tapes and give me the power I'm hungry for. And will indulge my friend’s passion of technology. I bought the used parts because I have the money and George, my friend, worked on them, fixed them and together we built our company. He constructed the computers; I advertised and took care of the records. Little by little our “GEM COMPUTER CO.” became the most known computer company for miles around. People came from all sorts of places to buy our computers and other productions. But there was one problem. I didn’t want a partner.
I didn’t want partners. I didn’t want to share my victory with anyone. I didn’t want to share my power with anyone so I had to do something about it. After a year of starting our company has flourished and I had enough workers that make George useless to me and I decided I don't need him there anymore. I took him for a weekend to my beach house because he was over worked. He was so drunk to realize what’s happening and because I wasn’t much into drinking I managed to benefit from him. He signed a paper that says that he sold me his share of the company. I gave him a little something to help him sleep well and drove him back to his home. The next day I got a call from his brother saying that George is dead.
I became the sole owner of my company and I decided to expand it. I made my own brand of cell phones and little by little my company became bigger than the ones that refused to hire me when I graduated. Some of them went bankrupt, and the others were still suffering from the thinning crowd that visited them. I became so rich and I was living now in a mansion with a pool in the front garden. The dream house of any girl. I became the only topic discussed in girls’ sleepover, the one they rumored about and dreamt of. I always had more girls then I knew what to do with. Hmmm let me rephrase that. I always had more girls then I can get on tape. Yes I'm still into that. Hobbies don’t die easily. Until one day when I found myself hitting the floor.
I hired a new beautiful private secretary. She seemed to be real good at her work and she was really stupid. But no matter what I said I couldn’t seem to get her to like me. For some reason she hated me without even knowing me. I tried talking to her, turning on my charm to the maximum, trying to seduce her, bribe her, hint about commitment but nothing seemed to be getting to her. It was driving me mad? What was in me that she couldn’t possibly love? It gave me many sleepless nights but I couldn’t bring myself to fire her. Why? Why don't I fire her? I just told myself it is because that’s the first woman who has not loved me instantly.
By now my mother and her daughter had no place in my life. I don't know anything about them and I don't want to know. I heard that my mother was in hospital fighting cancer a few months ago but that’s none of my business anymore. She is paying for what she did to me. It’s been 6 months since I hired Hannah and till this day I still can’t get her or make myself fire her. Last night I was lying in bed thinking about how to make her like me when I realized something. For the last 6 months I haven’t touched a woman. I’ve been too busy trying to get Hannah that I forgot about the rest of the women out there? What’s wrong with me? Am I getting sick?
The next day I was going around in my car trying to clear my mind when something caught my eyes. There was Hannah … but she wasn’t alone. There was a guy with her. And they looked like they were in a heated argument. I parked at a safe distance and sat watching them wondering who is he. A brother? Friend? Boyfriend? Fiancé? Husband? I shook my head not liking the idea. I turned around for a second and when I looked back, the guy had taken off running and Hannah was lying on the pavement unconscious with a knife sticking out of her stomach.
For a long period of time that must have been a few seconds, I snapped out of my shock and ran to her, I picked her up carefully and took her to the hospital. After 2 long hours in the waiting room the doctor came out to tell me that she is going to be ok. My relief at hearing that made the tears that had been threatening to fall spill and I found myself crying for the first time since I can remember.
For the next few days I spent most of my time with Hannah in the hospital room. It was already full to the brim with flowers all from me. I got really close to her and learned that she is an orphan with no family and was brought up in an orphanage. I found out that we liked the same things. Same favorite color, ice cream flavor and most of everything else. I enjoyed our long talks and her company. She had a great sense of humor and a playful spirit that just drew me to her. I seemed to be unable to stay away from her. And my feelings were scaring me. What’s happening to me? I’ve always been a playboy. Why the sudden change? I didn’t like the answer that my heart proposed to that question.