Here We Go Again

Chapter One

"Hold on." I tilted my head to the side, catching my cell phone in between my shoulder and my ear. I hurried forward, my binders and textbooks against my hip and my hands outstretched to grab the ends of them. I let them clatter down onto the top of a picnik table and plopped down on the bench, pulling my phone into my hand. "I'm back, sorry."

"You didn't answer my question."

I felt a sad smile pull at the corner of my lips. "What question?"

"Vee." Taylor's voice was serious and I sighed. "How are you adjusting to being back at university?" he repeated.

"It's fine, I guess. Classes are okay."

"That's good."

"Sure. I just..." I sighed again. "I just wish you were here. I can't even tell or show you off to anyone," I said. "And you're kinda hot, you know. I'd be the Queen Bee if anyone knew."

Taylor chuckled, making my smile widen. "You flatter me."

"No, I truth you." I let out a giggle and I could almost see Taylor rolling his eyes. "I miss you. Sucks I can't talk to my friends about you."

"I know, I miss you too." Taylor sighed. "But you know the reason I said we shouldn't tell is because-"

"I know, Taylor," I said softly. "Don't worry."

"You're-" I heard the phone muffle and voices in the background before Taylor's voice came back on the line. "Vee?"

"Still here."

"I have to go. Grocery shopping with Ebs, he won't wait."

A smile spread across my lips and I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "Bye, Tay."

"Don't call me that," my boyfriend whined.

I giggled. "Have fun."

"I will. Oh and Vee?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

My stomach flipped and butterflies overwhelmed me. "I love you, too," I replied softly.

***

Winter. It could be so beautiful - snowflakes drifting slowly to the ground, covering everything in a sparkly blanket of white. Most people, even if they didn't appreciate the cold weather that came along with it, appreciated the beauty that was winter.

As I sat on my back step, staring out over the sullen backyard, I found it anything but appealing. The pool, instead of being filled to the brim with clear water, was empty save for the snow piling up on the sides. The snow had stopped falling long ago, leaving a thin layer of fluff covering the ground. It also left the air cold and dry, and the sky different shades of grey. The weather fit my mood perfectly.

I didn't know why I was torturing myself by staring at the place where Taylor and I had spent so much time. I could be helping my mom prepare for the big Christmas Eve dinner we were having tonight with family and friends, or I could be at the mall, shopping for the few presents I still had left to buy. I was sure the atmosphere could do me some good.

I had thought I was okay. Up until now, when I had decided to step into the backyard at a particularly depressing moment in the weather, I had been.

I didn't think my emotions could ever be so dependent on a guy. But without Taylor, I just felt lonely. That was the only way to describe it. I had my family, and my friends at university... but since last summer, there was a void in my heart that I was sure only Taylor could fill now.

I missed his smile... I missed his laugh. I missed the feel of his arms around me. His hugs, his smell... But most of all, I missed his eyes. The way they would crinkle when he smiled, the way he looked at me like he couldn't see anyone else.

"Babe," Taylor whined, dragging out the 'a'. I glanced at my computer, an amused smile playing at my lips.

"What?" I mocked, using the same tone.

"Come back."

I let out a laugh, sticking my head in view of the camera. "I've been up for like two seconds, Tay."

"I miss you already." I watched as his lips parted into a smile, and then a grin as he laughed at the cheesiness of his statement. I felt my heart squeeze, my stomach filling with butterflies at the sight.

I turned away and finished putting my textbook in my bag. I sat back on the bed, pulling the laptop onto my knees and leaning my head on my hand. Taylor was looking at the TV in the room he was in, and I looked at him, the smile never leaving my lips.

"Taylor," I said gently. His attention switched to me, and when he saw me watching, he grinned.

"Yes?"

We stared at one another through the screen in silence, our smiles growing wider with each passing second, until I finally said, "I love you."