This Is Me and You Until We've Got Nothing Left

I got home, finding Pete playing with Hemingway while Lewy was in his swinger, snoozing. I gave Pete his coffee and plopped onto the couch next to him, "You'll never guess who I saw at the coffee shop."

"Who?" Pete asked as Hemy settled on the floor beside his feet.

"Vincent Accardi." I smiled. "Brand New is doing a show tonight."

"Yeah, at the Chicago Theatre," he hummed, "What'd he say?"

I had debated about telling Pete about what Vin said, but decided not to. "Nothing, we just caught up real quick."

"Do you wanna go to the show tonight?" He asked as he sipped his coffee.

"I can't; I've gotta study, I've got a big freakin' test tomorrow morning." I sipped my own. "Just 7 more months and I'll have my BA."

He snickered, "BA...bad ass."

I rolled my eyes playfully, "So original."

"I'm just kidding, Navy." He nudged my arm, "I'm proud of you...not a lot of girls would be able to finish school and raise a baby."

"I had no choice, I mean, I did have a choice, but it wasn't something I would've chosen anyway. Besides, what else would I do?"

"Model." He said as he leant back on the couch.

"Nah, no way." I took my coat off and stood, "I'm gonna put my stuff away and then check Lew."

"I just changed him and fed him."

My brows shot up, "Wow, you're on it, daddy."

Pete grinned, "Aren't you proud of me?"

I patted his cheek, "Always."

Pete continued to smile at me while I took my bag off to my room. I kicked my shoes off and went to my vanity to place my hair up; doing this, I heard Pete say something and then he cursed. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"The electricity went out. There's a thunderstorm."

I sighed, "Just fuckin' great."

"Hey," Pete came into the room, "You got candles?"

"It's not dark yet." I said to him.

"I'm just makin' sure."

"Under the kitchen sink."

He nodded and left the room. I took my jeans off and put on sweats and then trekked back to the living room. I knelt by Lewy, seeing him suckle on his binkie; I kissed his cheek, stood and went to the kitchen to find Pete.

"Hey," he was kneeling under the sink, "How long ago did Lewis fall asleep?"

"About 15 minutes ago, right before you walked in." He stood, grabbing the thick candle sticks.

"He'll be asleep for awhile," I said to myself. "So, what're you and me gonna do?"

He gave me a look, "I dunno."

"We can play Monopoly." I jested. "Or Clue. I have Trouble, too."

Pete closed the cabinet doors and set the candles on the counter top, "Is that all?"

He came over to me, making me lean back against the counter; he entrapped me, nearing his face close to mine with a slight smirk. I hummed with a smile of my own, "No. I have cards too. We can play poker."

Pete leaned in and kissed me, placing his palms on either side of me, flat on the counter. He pulled back, only to press his forehead against mine, "I wanna do this," he murmured as he slipped his hand beneath the waist band of my sweats and over my underwear.

I gasped when he rubbed me, causing my stomach to twist, and my panties to dampen. My mouth hung open slightly, I was unable to respond. My head just swirled with want and longing need. I rocked my hips against his hand, urging him to give me more; but he was teasing me. I growled under my breath, "Pete, c'mon."

He kissed me softly, slipping his tongue across my lips and into my mouth. I tasted coffee and begged for more, deepening our kiss and swirling my tongue with his. I broke our kiss for a moment to check to see if Lewy was awake or could see us, but he couldn't, so I hopped onto the counter and yanked Pete between my opened legs. I kissed him against and let out a soft groan when his hand pushed my panties to one side and ran his index finger roughly up and down my slick slit. I swallowed, again, pulling back and began to kiss his neck; we repeated actions from the night before, only he pulled me off the counter and led me towards our small kitchen table.

With my sweats and his pajama pants down, Pete swept me around, bent me over the table and entered me quickly. I bit down on my bottom lip, a growl and moan sounded in my throat; my hands held on to the edge of the table. Pete rocked his hips hard against my ass, the table hit the wall in rhythm with his thrusts. I whimpered, hearing the table knock and the thunderclouds clap outside, above us. This was quick, as was the storm; rain fell hard and the sky cracked; my body shook as my arousal peaked and I was soon to cum.

"I'm almost there," I muttered over the rain, "Fuck."

Pete held my hips tight, "Mm, me too."

He began to thrust faster, sloppier; the sky sounded with rolling thunder and I came quick and hard; I had panted and felt Pete continue, speeding up. That's when I remembered that he wasn't wearing a condom, "Pull out." I told him.

"Shh!" He told me.

I scoffed and bowed my head, "You're not wearing a condom, Pete, pull out!"

Just as I said that, he came, filling me with his seed. I shut my eyes and grunt, "You ass."

His hands squeeze my hips and he stalled before actually pulling out of me. He sighed deeply, pulling my sweats up, "Sorry."

"I have to go to the damn drug store now and get the morning after pill, you know." I adjusted my panties and sat. "Dumb ass."

He rolled his eyes as he pulled up his pajama pants, "I said sorry."

"And what did I say about the "s" word? You're not allowed to say it."

He just coursed his shaggy hair back, "I forgot. I didn't mean to cum inside you, neither, alright?"

"No, it's not alright." I mumbled this to myself. "Forget it, it's no big deal."

Pete sat across from me, "What would be so bad if you got pregnant by me again?"

"Oh," I began sarcastically, "It would be just wonderful!"

He gave me a hard look, "I'm serious."

"Do you know how stupid that would be? Neither one of us should have another child. We're barely making it count as it is with Lewy. I'm always at school, and you're constantly on tour; I wouldn't ever do that to another child."

"I want you to answer me honestly, okay?" I raised a brow at him, but nodded. "What would you do if you got pregnant again...not just by me, but by anyone."

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"I'd probably get an abortion. Not gonna lie. I can't raise another baby; I got Lewis and Hemingway, and sometimes you, that's enough for me."

"What about later on? After you finish school and had a job?"

"I'd like to be married before I continue to pop out babies, ya'know."

"You want me to marry you?" It was a rather rhetorical question.

I shook my head, "No. You sound like you're doing me a favor. I want someone to marry me because they want to, not because they think they have to."

"I don't think that, Navy."

"It's hard to believe." I stood up, "I'm gonna go shower...then I'll go to the drug store. You wanna join me?"

This was in no way me offering anything sexual to Pete.

He gave a nod and followed me to the bathroom; we had checked on Lewy, finding him still snoozing happily.


There was something different with Pete, following the next few days. He was quiet and stayed texting on his phone, practically ignoring Lewy and myself. He even stayed at his parents after the thunderstorm had passed and the electricity was back.

I didn't question it, because I knew it was just Pete in one of his moods. But, poor little Lewis didn't know his daddy is bi-polar and had the harshest mood swings. He didn't know that his daddy could be so cruel, especially to people he loves the most.

So, I spent the next couple of days, after school, with friends, bringing Lewy along. Believe me, I did call Pete and asked if he wanted to see Lewy, but he was always busy. One person Lewy likes to be with, aside from family, is Ricky.

Ricky is sober now, and he loves to play with Lewy. Lewy, too, loves to be tickled and carried by Ricky. I never shot down the idea of bringing my baby boy along when I met Ricky for coffee or lunch. So, the day before Thanksgiving was no different. I went out and got hot chocolate with Ricky and brought Lewy with me.

Ricky bounced Lewy in his lap and we talked a bit. It was just casual conversation; I never really talked about Pete. I did find myself leaning towards the topic, just because I missed him and Lewy laughed just like him; that hiccup-y laugh.

"Are you dating anyone, Naomi?" Ricky asked out of the blue as he spun Lewy around in his arms.

"No." I answered. "Why?"

"You look all sad, girl." He chuckled because Lewy let out a loud giggle.

I smiled, "I'm not. I've been talking to Vin lately."

"You and these sad punk rock stars." He snickered.

"I can't help it, I attract them." I sipped my hot chocolate.

Ricky set Lewy down in his lap now; he continued to giggle, but softer; "What do you talk about with him?"

"Normal stuff like me and you, dude."

"Do you wanna date him?"

I shrugged, "I dunno. Maybe."

"Does he like you?"

I laughed, "Geez, Rick, you're like a girl."

"I'm just curious, ya'know."

I bit at my lip, "Well, I don't know, if he likes me...okay, yeah I do know. He's such a damn flirt, it's ridiculous."

Ricky gave me a sly look, "Does your baby daddy know about this?"

"No. And he won't know. I don't need him to raise hell."

"I'd love to read that on some gossip rag."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, yeah, Rick."

I ended coffee with Ricky a bit later and took Lewy home, much to his resistance. I gave him a bath and then went to my parents' house, where Abbey attempted to play with Lewy. I sat with my dad and Amy, talking a bit.

We all planned to go to the Wentz's for Thanksgiving. It was funny how much our family blended because of Pete and I. Everyone got along fine, even when my dad more than hated having Pete in his family for life.

"You guys are getting along, right?" Amy asked as my dad got up to check in on the kids.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, I've heard things about Pete and I'm not sure if they're true or not. Like, he's dating that cute little actress, Lindsay Lohan."

I shrugged, "Thats his business. We're not like that, Amy."

She frowned slightly, "Really?"

"Yeah, really. I know that things between Pete and I will be up and down, but we'll always be friends. We've always been friends."

Her lips turned up, "Thats a good attitude to have."

"I want us to be friends for Lewis's sake." I exhaled softly, "You'd think I would get annoyed with him after awhile, but I'm used to it."

Amy smiled fully, "Thats nice. Do you ever want more?"

I thought about it for a moment, and then shook my head, lying, "No."

I was lying big time. I would always want more from Pete, but I know, really know, that nothing between us would be the way I want. I would never get what I want from Pete, and I've learned to deal with it.


We all got to the Wentz's around 4 the next day, with everyone pretty much hanging out in the living room. Pete wasn't there, and you could see Lewy was looking around for him. When Andrew held him, Lewy started to cry and reach back for me; "Where's Pete?" I asked him as I took Lewy back.

"He went out, said he'd be back for dinner." He informed me.

I sighed, "He's been blowing Lewy off for nearly a week."

Andrew frowned, "Sorry, Naomi, I didn't know. He's been out a lot, I thought he was with you."

I sucked my teeth, keeping my comments to myself. So, I played with Lewy while everyone talked and hung out. Hilary had come with her fiancée, Stephen, and had taken Lewy from me once he was settled and figured out that Pete wasn't there.

By dinner, Pete still hadn't showed up, and we were all in the dining room waiting for him. It was about a half hour pass us waiting when he arrived. He looked surprised to see us all in the dining room with empty plates; "Sorry!" He said, "I got caught up."

He had his coat off, and in typical Pete fashion, you could see the large hickey on the side of his neck. Everyone could see it, but no one said anything; I chose to ignore it, knowing what a jerk off he truly is. That's why we couldn't be together.

He sat across from me, Lewy sat in his high chair next to Mrs. Wentz, who was at the end of the table, beside me. We all started to eat as soon as Mr. Wentz had finished a small prayer. Mrs. Wentz fed Lewy while I ate, avoiding the looks Pete was giving me. I knew that he wanted me to look at him, but I didn't, I kept my eyes off, mainly towards Lewy.

So, throughout dinner, things were a bit awkward between Pete and I, but no one seemed to pay attention to us. Everything else was fine, despite us; I still hadn't looked at him. Finally, when desert came, I got up to change Lewy and then give him a bottle.

I went off to the living room, patting Lewy's back, happy to hear him burp. Once in the living room, I set him on the couch and prepared to change him. As soon as I got Lewy's onesie unbuttoned, Pete came in; "Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"

I kept my eyes on my son, "Go ahead, I'm changing Lew."

"I'm leavin' tonight." He said quickly, "And I wanted...I, well, I wanted to ask you if...you're still mad at me."

I raised a brow, still changing Lewy, "I told you I'm not mad at you, Pete."

"How come you won't look at me?"

"Because you're stupid." I muttered. "Why do you care if I look at you or not?"

"You're avoiding me on purpose."

"Why do you care?" I asked again, setting the soiled diaper off to the side.

"Because it's buggin' me."

"You shouldn't let it bother you," I strapped Lewy in a fresh diaper and then buttoned his onesie. I picked him up and kissed his cheek, "All freshened up, huh?"

"I'm leavin' tonight." He said again.

"I know." I handed Lewy to him, "Spend time with your son since you've been so busy the past few days."

Pete just looked at me as I began to clean up.

"Naomi, we need to talk."

"What about?" I asked.

"Me and you."

"There is no me and you unless Lewis is mentioned in that sentence."

He sighed, "I wanna marry you."

I looked at him finally; I tilted my was towards his hickey, "That hickey says otherwise."

"This was nothing."

"I can tell." I muttered as I started off.

Pete followed me, not saying a word, not until we were alone in the the downstairs bathroom; "I'm serious. I want to get married and have you move to LA with me. I'm gonna go live out there."

I turned to look at him after tossing out the soiled diaper, "Excuse me?"

"I'm moving to LA. After this next tour."

"When exactly?" I questioned shortly.

"February."

I shook my head, "Wow, you're completely unbelievable, Peter."

"It's where everything is!"

I took Lewy from him; our son didn't even flinch. "That's not where your son is. That's not where your family is!"

"Then come with me." He said eagerly.

"No. I know as soon as I get there, you'll ignore me, you'll cheat on me, you'll make me come back to Chicago. I'm not gonna do that."

"How am I suppose to live then?"

I glared at him, "I never made you decide over anything, Pete, and you know that. All I ever made you decide was either you'd be a father to our son or you just stay out of our lives. I told you I wouldn't make excuses for you, and I still won't."

He blinked, "This is my career, Naomi."

"Yeah, and mine is here too. My son is here. You decide, Peter; Lewis or Fall Out Boy?"

"That's not fair." He stated softly.

"You choose the band, you can move to LA and I won't bug you anymore. You choose Lewis, you live here in Chicago and break your ass traveling back and forth, no matter how much it kills you."

He gave me another blank stare, "Thats...thats crazy."

"Choose." I spat out.

He searched my eyes for truth. He knew I wasn't kidding.

"I...I love Lewis, you know that."

"It's really hard to tell most of the time. You come and go as you please and you treat him like you treat me, and I told you from the start I wouldn't let you do that to him. I love Lewis more than I could ever imagine loving another man on earth. You should feel the same, but you obviously don't."

"I want to stay in contact with him, Naomi. You can't just keep him from me."

"I'm not keeping him from you, you're doing that yourself."

Pete looked so conflicted. "I have to choose the band. It'll help in the end. I can give him things--"

"Money doesn't replace years of getting to know your son. So, you know, do whatever you want, just remember I told you so."

I walked away from Pete without another word. Pete didn't even attempt to stop me or make things right. I knew that he would more than likely lose his head in LA and basically forget he had us here.