This Is Me and You Until We've Got Nothing Left

I never told anyone about the last time I spoke with Pete. For Christmas, he had been at his parents, but left that night. He caught a train to New York; when he was in the same room as me, he didn't say anything. He had a ton of gifts for Lewy though.

I cried for an entire 3 weeks after. Vinny hadn't seen or heard me cry; he'd visit and I made sure to cry when I knew I was absolutely alone. Lewy didn't seem to notice that Pete was gone and it broke my heart. Before, my son would look and cry for his daddy, but now, it just didn't seem to matter to him.

Vinny was in my life the way I had always wanted Pete to be. He actually looked forward to seeing me, and he kissed me lovingly and he made me laugh, gave me a swarm of butterflies. He had taken one side of me, while Pete had the other.

As the weeks passed, the winter was heavy, I was burying my head in the snow, keeping most of my problems inside. I went to school, dropped Lewis off with either my dad or the Wentzs, or Andrew; who lived near by. I pretended that Pete did exist, even though I cried over him a lot.

The months slipped by, Fall Out Boy was huge, they were nominated for a Grammy, to which I called Patrick, Joe and Andy to congratulate them. Pete was still off my radar to speak to; he did come to Chicago to visit and saw Lewy. I was never around to see him; Andrew relayed that Pete would come over to his place or his parents' to see him. Whenever I would pick Lewy up, he seemed a lot happier, and I knew that Pete had visited. It left a sour taste in my mouth; it was the fact that he was now trying, after I had yelled to the point of tears.

It was only me yelling that got him to open his damn eyes.

Yes, after all that, I still wanted him. I was with Vinny, but I mean, how could I not want Pete? He was all I had wanted since I was 16, going on 17, years old, and at 22, I still wanted him. He drove me crazy, but it didn't matter to me. But it was too later; he was dating actresses and I was living in sin with Vinny.

During March, I had successfully moved out of the house and into a smaller apartment near the school I would be working at in the fall. My dad was taken by surprise when I had explained the move to him; he didn't understand.

"What's wrong with the house?" He had asked.

I had twirled my spoon in my tea, "I just want a smaller place. The house feels empty without Hemy...and Pete isn't coming back."

My dad hasn't known what went down between Pete and I, and I made sure to tell him that Pete moved his things out. The only thing my dad cared about was if Pete was taking care of Lewis or not. The Wentzs had let my dad know that Pete was in fact taking care of his fatherly duties.

"What about you and Vinny?" He asked then.

"Vin lives in New York, dad, and he's on tour a lot, like Pete, and he isn't gonna live with me just yet."

My dad had understood; "Want me to help you move?"

I had accepted my dad's help, and he handled selling the house. All the money went to Pete, with just a fraction was given to me. I took that bit and placed it in Lewis' account.

During Spring Break, I got two weeks off of school and had decided to spend a week in New York with Vinny. First, though, I had to make arrangements, and didn't jump headfirst into anything. During the first week, Babette had come down to visit for a month, because she got some time off work.

She hadn't told us, so she surprised the hell out of Kate and I while I was over at Kate's apartment, which was a block away from my own. We had been sitting on her couch watching Julian and Lewy play with the toy blocks; Julian was building things so Lewy could knock them over, they both laughed their heads off. The doorbell rang and Kate got up to answer it; a second after the door opened, they both started to scream happily upon seeing each other.

"Oh my God!" Kate squealed, "B!"

I stood up, smiling as she made her way in; I was surprised to see that she had cut her hair real short and was still as pretty as the last I saw her. Babette came in and ushered over to me after hugging Kate, "Naomi, I missed you, girly!"

I hugged her, "Hey, B, I missed you too."

"The texts and phone calls aren't the same!" She let me go, "Where are my God sons?"

Julian had already stood and went over, "Hi Auntie B!"

She knelt and hugged him, "Hey little guy."

I went over and picked Lewis up; he looked highly confused as I carried him to Babette. Lewy had gotten bigger, his hair was longer and was a lighter brown than when he was a few weeks old. "Oh my God!" Babette cooed, "Look at little Lewis! Cutie pie, you look just like your daddy."

I handed him to her, and Lewy seemed to remember her. He smiled and touched her face; "I think he remembers." Kate said.

"Hey there, honey," Babette bounced him, "You remember your sweet God-mama?"

I patted his back, "I think so. He usually cries when strangers are near him, so I'm guessing he knows you aren't a stranger."

Babette cooed to Lewy and then she sat on the floor with the boys, building things with them. It was nice seeing Babette again, especially with how happy and refreshed she looked. The boys loved her and the room was filled with giggles.

A while later, Julian had plopped down on the couch on Kate's lap to nap; Lewy was in Babette's lap playing with toy cars. We were all talking, catching up more so than we did over the phone. Babette wasn't with anyone and she was hoping to see Chris again; "He called me a few weeks ago," she told us, "He wanted me to come see him."

"He's been a prick lately," Kate muttered, "I think he misses you."

"I told him to come with me." She sang.

"He's too proud." Kate said with a roll of her eyes.

"Maybe he'll join me if I persuade him." She smirked slightly. "How are you and that hot guy Vincent, Naomi?"

I laughed, "We're good. I'm going up to New York to visit him next week."

"Are you taking Lewis?"

"I haven't figured it out. Last time I left him, he got sick."

"Does Vinny like him?"

"Vinny loves Lewis," I smiled, "He thinks Lew is funny."

Babette giggled and kissed the top of Lewy's head, "He is funny, look at that funny face! He's adorable."

"He gives Vinny funny looks whenever he comes over. I don't think Lewy likes him."

"Wait till he's older, he'll like him."

"I know, but man, he has a streak like Pete; he doesn't like Vinny either just because we're dating."

"Yeah, well, Pete isn't dating him, you are."

We all laughed, including Lewy, who was laughing because we were.

I took Lewy home a bit later, with Babette following after us to go and see Chris. I hugged her before we parted ways and wished her luck. "Christopher needs the luck," she scoffed, "If he doesn't choose to come with me, he's missing out."

I laughed and shook my head, watching her go. I went up to my apartment, carrying Lewy to his high chair to feed him. I went into the kitchen and go his food out, heated it up and sat on the counter with his high chair across from me.

"Alright, Lewis, I'll give you some potatoes if you say mama." I swirled the full spoon around the air.

Lewy giggled and opened his mouth, letting out a grunt. I giggled back at him, "Okay, good enough." I fed him some.

"Say mama, baby, c'mon. You're almost 1 years old!" I buzzed around the full spoon again.

He made a noise, "Mmmmm!"

I smiled, "A little better!"

Before I could feed him some, there was a knock on my door. I looked over, frowning slightly, "Hang tight, Lew." I hopped off the counter and gave him his sippy cup.

I went to the door and looked through the peephole. Whoever was at the door had his back to me. I waited a minute before the figure turned back and rang the bell. My brows shot up when I saw Pete, rocking on his heels with his hoodie pulled up, with a beanie tucked over his head.

I unlocked and opened the door, hesitantly and came face to face with Pete, after 4 months. He inhaled, "Hey. Mom said you had Lewis today."

"I'm on Spring break." I answered; I moved back, "Come in."

Pete stepped in, looking around; "It's small."

"I told you I wanted a smaller place." I shut the door, "I'm feeding him."

Pete went towards the kitchen, and immediately, Lewy began to giggle, and he tried to speak. My brows shot up as he tried to say "da-da", but only managed to whine.

"Lewy, ya miss me?" Pete bent a bit to come close to him, "Can you say "da-da" yet?"

"You've been teaching him?" I asked.

"Yeah," Pete answered, "He's gettin' there. I've been tryin' to teach him to walk, too."

"He's wobbly," I chuckled.

Pete grabbed the food, "I'll feed him, Navy, you can do whatever you need to. I'm gonna take him with me in a minute to my folks'."

"How long are you staying in town?"

"Uh, a few weeks."

"Oh, great, I'm going to New York next week, can you watch him?"

Pete looked at me and then raised his brow, "For what and for how long?"

"I'm visiting Vinny while he's got time off. It's just for 4 days."

He looked as if he wanted to say something rude, I know that look, but he didn't. He just nodded, "Yeah, sure."

"Thanks. I'll call and all that, ya'know. I don't wanna leave him, but this is the only time Vin's got time off."

"Yeah, it's...cool." He did not want to say it, I know that much.

I coursed my hair back, "Look, I know you don't like Vinny--"

"I like him, I just don't like him dating you." Pete said as he fed Lewy.

"And why not, because I'm a mom now?"

He sighed, "Just forget it, Naomi. It's your dating life, not mine."

"That's right. And I never butted into your dating life, so you shouldn't bother to butt in mine."

"Okay." He mumbled.

"I don't wanna fight with you anymore, Pete. I love you, and I want us to be civil for Lewis' sake."

I looked over at me, "I know, I know," he stood erect, "I apologize for going off the last time we talked. I can't help it, and I'll try and...ya'know...accept you bein' with Vinny."

I smiled, "Thank you, Pete, I appreciate it."

"That's the last time I'll say sorry for my stupidity."

I nodded and pulled him into a hug, "You're great, Peter."

"Thanks, Navy."

I pecked his cheek and we parted, "I'm gonna go get his diaper bag ready for you."

"Thanks." He hummed.

I went to Lewy's bedroom and got it ready. I returned to the kitchen, but stood back when I heard Pete talking to Lewy; "Say mama, Lew. I know you can...c'mon."

Lewy hummed an "m" for a moment and started to whine. Pete fed him and then enticed him again, "I'll give you more, bud, just say mama for me."

"Mmmmma-mmma." Lewy hummed.

I dropped the diaper bag and they both looked back at me. I started to tear up, "Oh my God."

Pete chuckled and turned his attention to Lewy, "Good job! Say it again, baby boy. Say mama."

Lewy giggled and hopped in his chair, "Mmma-ma!"

I went over and kissed his face, "Oh, Lewy! I'm so proud of you, babe! I love you."

He just laughed and smiled, showing me his bottom baby teeth that were growing in. "Ma-ma."

Pete fed him, "Great job, Lewis! I'm so proud of you."

"I can't believe he said it," I gushed.

"Me either." Pete chuckled, "I've been trying for about a month."

"Thanks," I said to him.

"No need to thank me, Navy."

I pecked Pete's cheek and then turned to Lewy, "Say it again, baby boy."

He grinned at me, 2 baby teeth and gums, "Mama, mama!"

I kissed him all over his face until he whined. "I love you, Lewis!"