This Is Me and You Until We've Got Nothing Left

At the beginning of May, I got my stitches out, and Pete was getting ready to leave. He wasn't leaving until after Lewy's birthday, which was probably the best time I could hope for. Pete and I had gotten close again, nothing sexual, we were like best friends again, just like before, only now we had a baby.

Pete and I had spent the good part of the end of April going to movies, taking Lewy to the park and then we would play with him. When Lewy was asleep, Pete would write and I would read, or he would let me read what he wrote. I can't even remember the last time I had before then. Usually he would play with his pen until I was finished and told him what I thought. I always thought he was brilliant and I would tell him so, and he would just smile at me, almost blushing.

So, I was a little nervous when I saw him packing some things up. Lewy was sitting on the bed, reaching for Pete as he packed, and Pete stopped, picking him up, "Hey buddy." He kissed Lewy's cheek and settled him on his hip.

I smiled at them, feeling a little better, but not entirely. I went over and helped put him put away the things he planned to take with him to LA. He told me it was award season and he was due to show up at some award shows, because he and the guys were nominated; he was free at the end of June, but he would be recording at the beginning of July and wasn't sure when he'd be free.

"Zip it for me?" He asked as he sat down with Lewy; he was tugging at Pete's hoodie drawstrings.

I zipped up his duffle bag and then set it on the floor. I sat beside them, scooting towards the middle of the bed; Pete got the drawstrings from Lewy and then looked over at me, "I was wondering...um, you're graduating at the end of May, right?"

"June 3rd." I corrected.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat, "I was thinking, since you'll be free, would you wanna come and stay in LA with me for awhile...you can be my date to the MTV music awards. The guys from Panic will be there, they're gonna perform and they're up for an award, against us, and we're suppose to go to, and we can bring dates."

Pete looked all flustered and I laughed softly, "Who'd watch Lewy?"

"Babette." He said quickly, "She's going back soon, and I kinda asked her and she said if you said yes, she'd keep June 27th opened to babysit."

"You already planned it out?"

"Of course I did. I wouldn't ask without having everything already planned. I had some guys at the label send over someone to clean up the place for me...I wasn't sure if I should get a crib and baby stuff for Lewy yet...I was waiting for you to say yes or no. So, do you want to? You don't have to."

"Do you want me to come?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I do. Dirty won't be a problem, he's in Florida visiting his family."

"How tempting, Dirty won't be there."

Pete laughed, causing Lewy to laugh; "So...?"

I nodded, "Yes, Lewy and I will come."

Pete grinned and then leaned over to kiss me on my cheek, causing Lewy to whine. I laughed softly and pet his hair back, "Calm down, buddy." Pete said to him.

"He's gonna love seeing you, Pete."

Pete's smiled faded as he looked at Lewy, "I wish it was easy to take him everywhere with me...you too, Naomi. I'd bring you guys with me."

"We'll always be there when you need us," I paused briefly, "You know I always will, even if I don't want to."

"Yeah, I know, I know for sure." He licked over his lips, "I don't want to..." He trailed, "Like you said, be a footnote in your happiness, Naomi. I want you to be happy with someone if it isn't gonna be me."

"Thank you." I replied quietly.

Pete shrugged his shoulders, "I mean that."

"I know you do." I smiled, though he didn't see it.

Pete and I were quiet as he played with Lewy; Lewy kept up with his baby talk, words that made no sense. Pete had laughed, "C'mon, buddy, say dada for me."

Lewy smiled at Pete, "Dadadada."

I clapped, "Good job, Lewis!"

Lewy looked so excited, "Mama!"

Pete kissed his cheek, "You're amazing, Lew!"

"Dada!" Lewy exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

I laughed and laid back on the bed, watching Pete try and get him to say other words.


We were having Lewy's first birthday at the Wentz's; Mrs. Wentz went out of her way to make 2 cakes; cake to eat and the other for Lewy to stick his hands in and destroy. Pete and Andrew were in the living room with a small helium tank, blowing up balloons. I had gotten out of class at 1 and went to the Wentz's where everyone was.

The dining room was filled with balloons, the living room had some presets on the coffee table; my dad and Mr. Wentz were watching a football game while Pete and Andrew blew up the last of the balloons. I went in and looked around, "Where's Lew?"

"Upstairs taking a nap with Abbey." My dad said.

I sat next to him, taking their bowl of potato chips, "What's going on?"

"Game. Waiting for the kids to wake up." Mr. Wentz said.

I took a few chips before setting the bowl back in my dad's lap; I got up, "I'm gonna go check on them."

"Don't wake them up." My dad called after me with a laugh.

I shook my head and went up the stairs, quietly as I could. When I got to the top, I could hear Abbey singing softly; I peeked through the open door and saw her lying with her back towards me; Lewy was lying beside her awake. She was singing a nursery rhyme...Ring Around the Rosey; I smiled and walked in, "No more napping?"

Abbey rolled over to look at me, "Hi sissy."

"Hi sweetness. Hey baby boy." Lewy smiled at me.

I sat on the bed, picked Lewy up, and ruffled his messy hair back, "You slept good, huh?"

Lewy cooed and then nuzzled his face into my chest, "Mama." I kissed the top of his head and stood up, "There's balloons downstairs," I told Abbey, "Pete and Andrew are blowing them up, wanna help them?"

Abbey nodded and jumped off the bed and then led the way down the stairs. I followed with Lewy on my hip, fixing his hair back; down stairs, Pete was lying on the floor, surrounded by balloons, saying, "No more!"

My dad and Mr. Wentz had gone off to the kitchen, I could see them eating cupcakes. Abbey went and ran through the balloons, "Wow! Wow!"

"What happened to the little tank?" I asked.

"Ran outta helium." Andrew said, "Pete blew up a few with the bike pump and then gave up after a few."

I laughed and sat Lewy on Pete's stomach, "Look at the balloons, baby."

Pete sat up on his elbows and gave Lewy a balloon, "Daddy blew this up with his mouth, enjoy it."

Lewy began to push the balloon against Pete's face, causing Pete to fall back onto the carpet. I smiled at them, while Abbey threw the few on the ground in the air. Andrew went off to get a cupcake, complaining of hunger. "Kate and Chris are coming," Pete said, "Babette too...Nick, Andy, Joe...Patrick's with his wife right now with his family, but he said he me bring a gift for Lewy."

"The lack of kids in this group is kinda sad."

"The jerks wouldn't come at all if there wasn't cake." Pete grumbled.

"It's okay. One day, Lewy will be in school and he'll have a million friends."

Pete groaned again, "Too many little people."

I sat down beside his lying body, "Hey, you're short, Patrick and Andy are short, you're all little people."

"Joe's short, too." Pete muttered.

"No he isn't. He's the tallest of you guys."

Pete shook his head, "I hope he isn't too popular."

"I hope he is," I frowned, "I want everyone to love him."

"We'll see. He'll either be like you or like me."

"I wasn't popular."

"Yes you were." Pete sat up again, Lewy pushed the balloon into his face.

I picked up Lewy and set him in my lap, "No I was not."

"Yes you were. You are now. People gravitate towards you and it's cool and all, but...I don't know, kinda jealous of you,"

"You have a ton of friends, Pete. I've got Ricky, Kate and Babette, that's it. Well, just Kate since B moved and you and the band are gone, and since you're gone, everyone else is gone."

"Oh." He mumbled. "I didn't think of it that way."

"The people at school only want to be my friend because they know that me and you have a son together. That's it, they don't care to get to know me, unless it means getting to meet Pete Wentz." I scoffed a laugh and shook my head.

Pete frowned, "I didn't know." He repeated.

"It's okay...it's times like these you know who your friends are."

Pete sat up fully and turned to face me; he looked at me, he looked a little down, and without speaking, or warning, he leaned forward and kissed me. My lips turned up against his; we haven't kissed in months, I almost teared up. Pete pulled back after a moment and looked down, smoothing back Lewy's wild hair.

"I'm not apologizing." He spoke finally, making me laugh like a dope.

"I wouldn't want you to." I replied with a burning sensation filling my cheeks.

My belly was in knots.

"Kate and Babette are here!" I heard Amy say.

Pete and I stood; I held Lewy under his butt. He dropped the balloon upon seeing Babette and reached out for her. I laughed, "Oh, someone missed you, B."

Babette cooed, "Hey little guy! I missed ya too."

Babette took him from me, and then Julian began to play with the balloons with Abbey. Everyone sat until Mrs. Wentz called us to sing happy birthday to Lewy. In the mean time, we all talked; Joe and Andy came a while later, just before it was time for cake. I sat beside Pete, feeling like a dopey teenager, wanting him to kiss me again. It was weird, but I knew that it was just because I'm in love with him.

When it was time for the cake, we set Lewy in his high chair, and Pete went in to bring out his personal cake. Lewy looked excited as everyone started to sing for him; he watched Pete bring in a green frosted cake with a lit green numeral candle. He set it in front of him and Lewy didn't touch it, or even attempt to; when all the singing stopped, he frowned at us, but I kissed his cheek, "Time to blow the candle out and make a wish, baby."

Lewy looked at me and then at Pete, as if he wasn't sure what to wish for. I laughed, Pete leaned over, "Lets wish for lots of toys, alright?" Lewy giggled and Pete blew out the candle for him. Lewy clapped, and everyone laughed and clapped too.

Then, Lewy looked at the cake and touched the frosting. First just a finger and then he shoved his hand into it and took a fistful and then shoved it in Pete's face. I almost fell over laughing, because Pete wasn't expecting it; he got cake in his eye and nose, close to his mouth, though. "Thanks, Lew," Pete mumbled.

Lewy took more of his cake and shoved some into his own face as he tried to eat it. I sat beside him and helped him eat a bit, while Pete cleaned up his face.