This Is Me and You Until We've Got Nothing Left

The next morning, I woke up on my own. It was early, about 5, so I went to get some coffee. I could hear someone else was up...it was Pete, he was on the phone.

He was whispering, "...My sister likes her...my family love her, I can't tell her she can't come, she's here...they're my kids...yeah--bye."

I walked into the kitchen quietly, finding him there. He was playing with his phone, his eyes wandered up to me when I came in. I went straight to the coffee maker; "Sleep well?" He asked.

"You're talking to me now? And you're not insulting me?" I spat as I reached in the cupboard for a mug.

"I don't have to act civil, you know, I could be an asshole if I wanted to."

"Mission accomplished. Just leave me the fuck alone," I poured coffee and looked around for cream.

"The hell did I do?"

"I said leave me alone, Pete, I don't wanna talk to you. I want you to leave me alone, for good."

"You're being over dramatic," he grumbled.

"Good," I poured sugar in my cup and went to the fridge for the cream, "I'm a bitch, remember?"

"Get over it."

"Don't talk to me anymore and you won't hear it."

"Grow up, Naomi."

I sipped my coffee and left the kitchen, ignoring him. I returned to the bedroom, finding Benji stirring in a spot beside me. I frowned slightly, I hadn't even seen him until then. I set the cup down and sat beside him, checking him over; he was dry and he was barely waking. "Morning, baby boy, how'd you sleep?"

Benji yawned and rubbed his eyes with his tiny fist. I got up and returned to the kitchen with him, to heat up a bottle. Pete wasn't there, which made me happy; I finished in the kitchen and returned to the room, feeding Benji. As I sat and rocked him, my phone began to buzz on the beside table; I reached over and smiled to myself when I saw Rob's name pop up. I answered, "Ain't it too early for you to be calling?"

I heard his rough laugh, "I missed you, I was hoping you'd be up."

I blushed at the thought of him missing me, "I've only been gone a day."

"Doesn't mean I can't miss you, does it?"

I laughed softly, "I guess not. I kinda miss you, too."

"Only kinda?"

"Yes, it's only because I've been...busy thinking and having an argument with Pete."

"What'd he do now?" Rob exasperated.

"It's nothing to bother about," I told him, "Give me something else to think about."

He chuckled, "I kinda wish I could've gone with you. My mom is dying to see me and I just told her that you were in New York, too. I also told her you were my girlfriend."

I blushed, "Oh my God."

"It's not a bad thing, she wants to meet you, I told her it was too soon."

"I'm not too good with meeting new people," I said, "But, I hope I'll meet her one day."

"For sure. Hey, will you bring me a piece of cake back?"

I laughed, "We'll see. It's gonna be a big wedding, so I'm sure there'll be plenty of cake."

"What're you doin' today?"

"Uh, hang with Hilary, meet her friends and observe the rehearsal. I'm hoping none of this will tire me out."

"Wait till everyone sees you in that dress, you're gonna get hit on, I bet."

I rolled my eyes, "Guys don't do moms, unless they're married to them."

He laughed, "Hey, I wanna do you and you got 2 kids!"

I tugged on my bottom lip, "Such a butt kisser, Rob."

"I'm being serious, Naomi. If any guy does hit on you, I hope they can handle the fact you've got a nice boyfriend here."

"Maybe I should wear a sign, right? Says I'm dating Robert."

He hummed, faux intrigue, "Hmm, I think that would work."

"I'll do that," I kidded.

Rob and I talked for a bit until I had to give Benji a bath. I set my phone aside, picked him up, grabbing his things and set off to find the bathroom. Pete was up with Lewy, in the living room along with his dad, watching cartoons. I had waved to them as I walked past, only getting Mr. Wentz's attention. Apparently, both Lewy and Pete were still upset with me.

"Where's the bathroom, Mr. Wentz?" I asked.

"Straight down the hall, last door."

"Thanks," I looked at Lewy, who was sucking his thumb, "You need a bath, too, Lewis."

He looked at me, then at Pete, "I havta?"

Pete looked at him, "Yeah, sorry, bud. Go with your mom."

Lewy huffed and then climbed off the couch. He sulked over to me and walked in front of me to the bathroom. I guided him to it, and opened the door; Lewy went in and stood by the tub, "Lew, don't be mad at me, okay?"

"You're mean," he said.

"Yeah, and you know what? I'm also really nice and I love you. So, can you give mommy a break? She's really sad."

Lewy's little lips pursed, "Sad?"

I nodded, "Yeah," I managed to turn the water on with Benji in my arms, "I'm sad and I don't like it when you don't talk to me. So, can we be nice again?"

He nodded slowly, "'Kay."

"I'm sorry I yelled," I adjusted the water until it was cool, "I was mad, and your daddy makes me mad a lot, that's why I yelled."

"No more yellin'," he said quickly, stammering a bit.

"I won't," I began to undress Benji, "I'll try, okay?"

"Okay," he spoke soft.

"Are you friends?" I smiled at him.

He smiled back and nodded, "Uh-huh."

I kissed his cheek, "Good, cuz you're my best friend, you know that?"

He giggled, "Yeah."

I tickled his side, "I love ya, bub."

"Love you, too, mommy."

I got the boys in the tub and washed them up. After I finished dressing them, Mr. Wentz began to make breakfast. I let Mrs. Wentz take care of Benji while I showered and got ready for the day. I felt a lot less tense than I had been; I figured it was from getting Lewy to drop his cold shoulder. Still, there was some cloud over my head.


Everything continued on as normal, only Pete and I still weren't speaking to one another. No one brought it up, thank God, and were focusing on Hilary. It was all smooth onto the next day; there was a lot of preparation and pictures being taken as we got ready for the wedding.

Pete and his dad had the boys; Andrew joined them off with the men. Mrs. Wentz and I stayed with Hilary and the bridesmaids as she got ready. She looked absolutely beautiful, prompting me to wonder what I could've looked like in a dress like hers. It was a slim white dress, strapless, and trailed behind her. Her hair was down, straightened with ringlets at the end, brushed out; she looked amazing.

I stayed out of her way as she got ready; I didn't want to cause any attention to myself. I snuck away, after wishing her luck, and waited in the church hall for the wedding to begin. There was going to be about 200 people there, and it didn't surprise me; as popular both Hilary and her fiancée are. The whole thing, even though it was beautiful, and I felt happy for Hil, I couldn't help but to feel envious. I could've had something like this, but it didn't work out that way.

I started to daydream as I waited, sitting on a bench. I thought about all the things I had witnessed Hilary doing and wondered what I would've done or picked out. It nearly brought me to tears because I wouldn't have that, and I really did want it. I was one of those girls who said she never thought about getting married, but secretly I had and fantasized about it just a little. Sure, I never had a dress or a place or a song picked out, but I did wonder and dream of marrying someone I just knew I couldn't and wouldn't live without.

It would be just that: a dream.

Finally my daydream filtered away and I realized people were being seated. Mrs. Wentz had come out of the dressing room, "There you are! C'mon, lets get seated, the boys are already in there."

I didn't respond, I just followed her. Everyone was being seated; Mrs. Wentz had me sit beside her with Benji and Lewis, and Pete beside him. I kept my mouth shut as I sat with Benji; he was happily snoozing; Lewy was resting his head in Pete's lap. Pete kept texting as everyone chit-chatted, and I wasn't sure as to why I even cared or even looked. But I made sure to drift my mind elsewhere before the ceremony started.

Once the wedding march started, everyone stood. We all watched Mr. Wentz walk Hilary down the aisle. I felt choked up watching it, just because I wanted something like this, and the blatant fact that Hilary looked fantastic. I held in the tears and watching, blinking away the few that managed to escape. We all sat and continued to watch her hold hands with George.

My heart managed to sink as they spoke vows to each other, the envious feelings were all that would come up. I held my breath several times, watching, wishing for my feelings to go away. But before I knew it, it was all over and everyone was clapping and cheering. I exhaled and felt a little confused as to how fast it had gone by. I followed everyone out, and to the front steps to see them off to their limo.

I stood back, though, again, out of the way. I didn't want to go to the reception hall to eat and dance, I wanted to go home. I felt so out of place, out of my element, but I couldn't do that to Hilary.

I was still quiet on the drive over to the reception. Lewy was up and asking questions to Pete, who seemed more interested in his phone. I had to calm Lewy down and tell him to wait until we were inside.

But, as soon as we got there, Pete met up with his girlfriend and disappeared. I didn't even notice he was gone until Lewy came crying to me at the table, "Daddy's gone!"

I had to shush him, because George's best man was making a toast. Mrs. Wentz was holding Benji while I held Lewy; "Hey, bub, he'll be back," I whispered into his ear, "Don't worry."

Lewy just sobbed into my shoulder, thankfully muffling it away. The toast finished and everyone began to eat and some danced. I looked at Lewy, "Okay, where did you last see daddy?"

He pointed towards the exiting double doors, "There."

"He'll be back," I said after looking over, "Until then, you gotta eat. It's yummy, and then you can have cake."

Lewy shook his head, his arms wrapped around my neck, his face buried in my shoulder again. I sighed softly, "Just a little? I know your tummy must be growling," I said softly, trying to get him to giggle.

"No," he sniffled.

"Want some juice?"

He nodded slowly and pulled away from me. I cleaned his face and then gave him juice. Lewy was in no mood to do a thing because Pete wasn't there. He had kept repeating that he wanted to leave and go home. I had explained this to Mrs. Wentz and she was okay with letting me return to Hilary's and get him to calm down.

"We'll say bye to Auntie Hilary and then we'll go, okay bub?"

He hummed as I carried him to Hilary. She smiled upon seeing us, "Hey! Hi, Lew, are you having fun?"

"He's upset," I told her; she reached out and ruffle his hair, "Can't find Pete and now he wants to leave."

She frowned, "Oh, I'm sorry, honey."

He looked at her and sniffed.

"He'll be okay, he's just a little sad."

"Well," Hilary stood and came over to him, "I'll see you soon? I loved having you here."

Lewy nodded and then he hugged her, and she back. He returned to me, talking to her, "Bye-bye, Auntie, you looks pretty."

She smiled and rubbed his back, "Thank you, Lew. You look handsome."

He wrapped his arms around me and sniffled. "I'm sorry, Hil," I said next.

"It's okay, I'm really glad you guys came. I'll see you during Thanksgiving, right?"

I nodded, "Yep. Have a great honeymoon."

She thanked me, and I returned to the table. I grabbed the diaper bag and set Lewy down, "I gotta take Benji, too, so you'll walk."

Lewy just nodded and grabbed my hand; I said goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Wentz and began to leave, carrying Benji and holding Lewy's hand. As we left, I spotted Pete down a long hallway; he had his girlfriend up against a wall, so I knew that wasn't any good at all. I had to usher Lewy off before he saw Pete; I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was, Pete is so much more selfish than I give him credit for.


I fed the boys and got them to nap. Lewy was crying for Pete and finally fell asleep on his own; Benji took awhile before he fell asleep. We were all on the couch, me watching them sleep with the TV on.

When everyone returned, I was already in the guest room packing our things. We had a flight to catch early the next morning, and I wanted to be ready. Pete came into the room, looking for Lewis; "Mom said he crying earlier, is he okay?"

"Everything is fine," I spoke passively, folding one of his blankets.

Pete came around the bed, "What was wrong with him?"

"Nothing, he just wanted to leave," I still had the passive tone, sounding more snotty than anything.

"Lose the goddamn attitude, Naomi," he hissed.

I looked at him, "Me? Where the hell were you? He was looking for you, crying because you went off and fucked your girlfriend, as always. So why are you so pissed off at me trying to let it go?"

"Being a bitch with me isn't letting it go."

I shook my head, "Fine, whatever, Pete. I give up."

He sighed, "I only left for a minute."

I refused to answer, I just continued on, and put the bags on the floor. I moved around Pete, covering up both boys; "You can leave now, I'm going to bed," I told him.

"I didn't do--"

I cut him off, "I don't care what you did or didn't do, Pete, I'm just so tired of you. I have enough with 2 kids, I don't need to hear excuses or rants or anything. Whatever you did is your business and I don't give a fuck about you," I sat on the bed and exasperated, "The only person who really loves you and cares is Lewis and he was looking for you. You went off for whatever reason and it bothered him. Don't build him up just to knock him down, he's your son, he doesn't deserve that; Benjamin is too young to understand and bond with you, but Lewis already has one with you."

He just looked at me, mouth agape.

"You do whatever you want Pete, because no matter what, I'm gonna be the one to clean up the wreck you make of Lewis. Whatever I say goes in one ear and out the other, you don't care and you know what? I don't care either, you can do whatever you wanna do, I'll take care of Lewis and Benji like I've been doing."

"You're sayin' all that like I don't want them."

"I never said that, but when you have kids and a new girlfriend, your kids should come first, not getting a quickie with your girlfriend."

"Yeah, whatever, Naomi," he blew me off and left the room.

I just shook my head and climbed into the bed. I was truly done trying with Pete. I didn't care what he did anymore.