Never Back Down
Snowden.
Rushing about my apartment, I triple check to make sure everything is clean, and the guest room is set up for Andy's arrival. Thanksgiving and Christmas together have passed, both of which I had spent with my mother despite her attitude toward my sexuality, and my way of living. On top of that, I found out that Mother dear does not approve of my radio career. Even through all of that, the two holidays passed pretty well. Mother and I enjoyed a delicious meal on Thanksgiving that she cooked while I did a special radio show in the morning. Then on Christmas we exchanged gifts, baked cookies together, and went caroling with the neighbors. It was just like how things were when I was a child.
Shaking my head, I pull myself out of my thoughts just in time to hear the kettle whistling, begging me to pull it off the heat of stove top. After turning the flame off I pour water into my Spongebob mug where my teabag is already placed, waiting. My mind drifts off, going about different scenarios that could possibly happen while Andy is here, all the while my body moves at its own accord to finish preparing my tea. It isn't until I go to take a sip of my too hot tea that my mind focuses back on reality. I need to stay focused, I tell myself because at this rate Andy will show up and I'll have burns all down my front.
Deciding that calming my nerves with my tea and looking out at the already fallen snow, I take a seat at my living room window, tentatively sipping at my tea as my mind blanks, focusing only on the sparkling white flakes coating the field behind my apartment building.
Half and hour or so later a shy knock comes from my front door. I turn my head away from the window with a smile. Setting my mug down on a nearby table, I open the door to find Andy and Keely, his pet dog, standing in the hallway awaiting me. My smile widens upon seeing him in person after so long. He smiles in return and I cannot stop the attraction I feel toward the sight. Andy's hair has long since been cut, and though it is very different from how I had last known, this shorter hair style works well with Andy's features.
After greeting one another, I step aside to allow them entrance into my home. Keely seems happy with being away from the cold, pulling against her leash as Andy's eyes move about my living room. With a smile to myself I close to door and walk over to where Andy is standing. "It's really good to see you again, Andy," I find myself saying.
Andy's smile widens, "It's really good to see you, too, Snowden." I smile in return wrapping my arms around him in a tight hug, surprising Andy in the process causing him to drop Keely's leash. After a moment he wraps his arms around me as well. All too soon I find myself pulling away from Andy knowing that it needs to be done.
"So, um," I start awkwardly, tugging at my sleeves, "Why don't I help you get your things? Then I can show you where you'll be staying and all that fun stuff." Andy voices his agreement before heading out the door, leaving Keely to sleep on my couch. I pull my boots and coat on quickly, and then follow after Andy.
It didn't take long for the two of us working together to bring Andy's belongings into my guest bedroom. Figuring he'll want time to relax after his long drive, I announce I'll order a pizza for dinner before leaving Andy to his own devices.
After ordering the pizza I take a seat on the couch, curling my legs up beside me as I press the button to awaken my television. Flipping through the channels, I find some superhero movie on, deciding to watch it while I await the pizza's arrival.
Roughly thirty minutes later the pizza arrives, and Andy enters the living room to join me. We eat our pizza in relative silence, apart from Andy making a comment here and there about the superhero in the movie. Andy doesn't hide the fact that Batman is his superhero of choice being that he has inked tributes to said superhero forever resting upon his arm.
Things don't seem awkward between the two of us, but it doesn't feel like he's actually here. To me it feels more like any other day. I'm sitting on my couch, eating some form of dinner, watching some poorly directed movie...The only difference is this time Andy is seated beside me, and Keely is fast asleep on the floor in front of my television. Yet, it doesn't feel like they're actually there. It almost seems as though I have made them up- my mind is playing tricks on me. Maybe it's because it's so late, I tell myself, that must be it. Things will feel more real tomorrow.
Arriving home from work the following afternoon I nearly jump out of my own skin at the sight of Andy sprawled out on my couch. My mind had completely forgotten that he's visiting until the new year; only a couple days away. Resting my hand over my heart, I close my eyes focusing on steadying my breathing while Andy laughs at my reaction. I can't help save for to smile at the sound of his deep laugh, filled with so much joy, and though it's at my expense, I can't stop myself from enjoying the sound. His laugh is almost as musical as his singing only his laugh is far more magical.
Pushing his feet off the couch, I claim the spot they once sat, and remove my hat, placing it atop the coffee table in front of me. My eyes focusing on the television, trying to place what Andy is watching, I run my fingers through my hair, subconsciously trying to fix whatever form of 'hat hair' I have been gifted. Giving up, I sigh, "Okay, what are you watching?"
His eyes shift to mine before going back to watching the show, "Game of Thrones." I nod, pretending to know just what it is he's speaking of. Truth is, I've never heard of the show before, so it's quite obvious I have never watched it.
"Oh!" Andy shouts out of the blue, startling me from my thoughts, causing me to physically jump an inch or two off the couch.
"Was that necessary?" My voice comes off more harsh than I intended, but turning my attention to Andy I realize he thinks nothing of it. If it bothers him at all, he doesn't show it, at least.
"Yes, I just realized something!" he exclaims, jumping off the couch. "I got something for you!" With that he dashes off to his make-shift room, returning a moment later with a box-shaped gift. The paper around the box is silver, and has little green Christmas tress. Atop the gift sits a bright red bow that nearly takes up the whole top with four ribbons hanging off the sides loosely. The sight reminds me a bit of a water lily. "This one's from me," he says, setting the gift on my lap, "the guys got you something too. You can open that later."
At first I don't move, my hands stay resting at my sides as my wide eyes stare up at Andy. We weren't supposed to exchange Christmas gifts, and this clearly is just that. "But we said.." is all I seem to be able to get out. Andy understands, though, and he takes a seat in front of me on the coffee table.
"I know, but this reminded me of you. Plus, it's more of a 'I'm sorry for annoying you so much' gift," he laughed, silently asking me to open the gift. Taking my lip between my teeth, I nibble at the tender skin as my eyes scan over the beautifully wrapped box. My mind spins, whirling around trying to think of what he could have possibly gotten me. "You can open it," Andy says after minutes of me just starting at the gift. With a nod I gently pull the bow off, making sure to place it next to me safely to keep as a reminder of this moment. If all else goes wrong, at least I'll have that bow to remind me of the good.
Unwrapping the gift I cannot believe my eyes. Inside sits a hat box- proper storage for a portion of my hats, and the most beautiful top hat I have ever laid my eyes on. The black velvet shines in the light, and the satin tyrian purple ribbon is tied in a perfect, tight bow on the left side with two small black feather- one fluffy and full, the other slim and sleek- pinned beneath the bow. "You-" I stop myself, unsure of what there really is to say. Words could never express to Andy just how thankful I am for the hat, this magnificent gift.
Gently moving the box from my lap, I rest it beside the bow on the couch before launching myself at Andy. Wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight hug, I allow my body to move on its own accord, meaning I shock even myself when I pull back from the hug just enough to softly place my slightly chapped lips against his own silky ones.
Shaking my head, I pull myself out of my thoughts just in time to hear the kettle whistling, begging me to pull it off the heat of stove top. After turning the flame off I pour water into my Spongebob mug where my teabag is already placed, waiting. My mind drifts off, going about different scenarios that could possibly happen while Andy is here, all the while my body moves at its own accord to finish preparing my tea. It isn't until I go to take a sip of my too hot tea that my mind focuses back on reality. I need to stay focused, I tell myself because at this rate Andy will show up and I'll have burns all down my front.
Deciding that calming my nerves with my tea and looking out at the already fallen snow, I take a seat at my living room window, tentatively sipping at my tea as my mind blanks, focusing only on the sparkling white flakes coating the field behind my apartment building.
Half and hour or so later a shy knock comes from my front door. I turn my head away from the window with a smile. Setting my mug down on a nearby table, I open the door to find Andy and Keely, his pet dog, standing in the hallway awaiting me. My smile widens upon seeing him in person after so long. He smiles in return and I cannot stop the attraction I feel toward the sight. Andy's hair has long since been cut, and though it is very different from how I had last known, this shorter hair style works well with Andy's features.
After greeting one another, I step aside to allow them entrance into my home. Keely seems happy with being away from the cold, pulling against her leash as Andy's eyes move about my living room. With a smile to myself I close to door and walk over to where Andy is standing. "It's really good to see you again, Andy," I find myself saying.
Andy's smile widens, "It's really good to see you, too, Snowden." I smile in return wrapping my arms around him in a tight hug, surprising Andy in the process causing him to drop Keely's leash. After a moment he wraps his arms around me as well. All too soon I find myself pulling away from Andy knowing that it needs to be done.
"So, um," I start awkwardly, tugging at my sleeves, "Why don't I help you get your things? Then I can show you where you'll be staying and all that fun stuff." Andy voices his agreement before heading out the door, leaving Keely to sleep on my couch. I pull my boots and coat on quickly, and then follow after Andy.
It didn't take long for the two of us working together to bring Andy's belongings into my guest bedroom. Figuring he'll want time to relax after his long drive, I announce I'll order a pizza for dinner before leaving Andy to his own devices.
After ordering the pizza I take a seat on the couch, curling my legs up beside me as I press the button to awaken my television. Flipping through the channels, I find some superhero movie on, deciding to watch it while I await the pizza's arrival.
Roughly thirty minutes later the pizza arrives, and Andy enters the living room to join me. We eat our pizza in relative silence, apart from Andy making a comment here and there about the superhero in the movie. Andy doesn't hide the fact that Batman is his superhero of choice being that he has inked tributes to said superhero forever resting upon his arm.
Things don't seem awkward between the two of us, but it doesn't feel like he's actually here. To me it feels more like any other day. I'm sitting on my couch, eating some form of dinner, watching some poorly directed movie...The only difference is this time Andy is seated beside me, and Keely is fast asleep on the floor in front of my television. Yet, it doesn't feel like they're actually there. It almost seems as though I have made them up- my mind is playing tricks on me. Maybe it's because it's so late, I tell myself, that must be it. Things will feel more real tomorrow.
Arriving home from work the following afternoon I nearly jump out of my own skin at the sight of Andy sprawled out on my couch. My mind had completely forgotten that he's visiting until the new year; only a couple days away. Resting my hand over my heart, I close my eyes focusing on steadying my breathing while Andy laughs at my reaction. I can't help save for to smile at the sound of his deep laugh, filled with so much joy, and though it's at my expense, I can't stop myself from enjoying the sound. His laugh is almost as musical as his singing only his laugh is far more magical.
Pushing his feet off the couch, I claim the spot they once sat, and remove my hat, placing it atop the coffee table in front of me. My eyes focusing on the television, trying to place what Andy is watching, I run my fingers through my hair, subconsciously trying to fix whatever form of 'hat hair' I have been gifted. Giving up, I sigh, "Okay, what are you watching?"
His eyes shift to mine before going back to watching the show, "Game of Thrones." I nod, pretending to know just what it is he's speaking of. Truth is, I've never heard of the show before, so it's quite obvious I have never watched it.
"Oh!" Andy shouts out of the blue, startling me from my thoughts, causing me to physically jump an inch or two off the couch.
"Was that necessary?" My voice comes off more harsh than I intended, but turning my attention to Andy I realize he thinks nothing of it. If it bothers him at all, he doesn't show it, at least.
"Yes, I just realized something!" he exclaims, jumping off the couch. "I got something for you!" With that he dashes off to his make-shift room, returning a moment later with a box-shaped gift. The paper around the box is silver, and has little green Christmas tress. Atop the gift sits a bright red bow that nearly takes up the whole top with four ribbons hanging off the sides loosely. The sight reminds me a bit of a water lily. "This one's from me," he says, setting the gift on my lap, "the guys got you something too. You can open that later."
At first I don't move, my hands stay resting at my sides as my wide eyes stare up at Andy. We weren't supposed to exchange Christmas gifts, and this clearly is just that. "But we said.." is all I seem to be able to get out. Andy understands, though, and he takes a seat in front of me on the coffee table.
"I know, but this reminded me of you. Plus, it's more of a 'I'm sorry for annoying you so much' gift," he laughed, silently asking me to open the gift. Taking my lip between my teeth, I nibble at the tender skin as my eyes scan over the beautifully wrapped box. My mind spins, whirling around trying to think of what he could have possibly gotten me. "You can open it," Andy says after minutes of me just starting at the gift. With a nod I gently pull the bow off, making sure to place it next to me safely to keep as a reminder of this moment. If all else goes wrong, at least I'll have that bow to remind me of the good.
Unwrapping the gift I cannot believe my eyes. Inside sits a hat box- proper storage for a portion of my hats, and the most beautiful top hat I have ever laid my eyes on. The black velvet shines in the light, and the satin tyrian purple ribbon is tied in a perfect, tight bow on the left side with two small black feather- one fluffy and full, the other slim and sleek- pinned beneath the bow. "You-" I stop myself, unsure of what there really is to say. Words could never express to Andy just how thankful I am for the hat, this magnificent gift.
Gently moving the box from my lap, I rest it beside the bow on the couch before launching myself at Andy. Wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight hug, I allow my body to move on its own accord, meaning I shock even myself when I pull back from the hug just enough to softly place my slightly chapped lips against his own silky ones.
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry.