Take Me by Surprise, It Will Blind Me

Cameron

When my eyes fluttered open, it was pitch black dark in my room because even though I had the curtains opened, it was already dark outside. The last thing I remembered was sitting on the toilet and I forgot everything that happened after that. How did I get onto the bed? Did I put myself to sleep or something? I tried to sit up but when I tried to move my head an inch, a massive headache hit me right. I groaned and fell back down to the pillow. Was I that wasted?

Then, the door cracked open and someone poked his head into the room. I recognized the head by David’s from some hair sticking out to different directions. “Hey, man, are you up?”

“Think so.”, I croaked. My voice was a bit soar and crackled, even my throat felt icky. David got into the room and flicked the light on, shining brightly onto my eyes, making me hiss and hid my face under the comforter. “What happened?”

David looked down to me while he stood next to the bed. “Well, you were being a wreck and wasted for the thousandth time in these past few days, so we called Dareen to come over.”

“Dareen?!”, I yanked the comforter out of my face and widened my eyes to David. “Dareen was here?!”

He nodded. “Yeah. She was the one who put you into bed and helped Amy and Eric cleaned up your room for a bit.”

I couldn’t believe it. Dareen was here and she was the one who tucked me into bed even though she said she didn’t want to see me ever again. I tried to scan my memory to remember things I’ve said to Dareen. Did I say something that upset or offended her? “Where is she now?”

“The girls went home half an hour ago because it was pretty late. Dareen wanted to wait until you wake up but Eric and I told her to just go home because she needs to go to work tomorrow. Something big coming up for her.”

It disappointed me a bit that I couldn’t see and talk to Dareen in private. I wanted to and I was dying to do it. David offered me some food and I just told him to wait up at the kitchen with Eric. After he got out from the room, I got up carefully and slowly to look for my phone. I found it under the bed with the screen cracked a bit. Thank God I could still use it.

I remembered her number by heart and after I dialed it, I pressed the phone onto my left ear and waited on the tones. “Hi, you’ve reached Dareen’s phone! I’m sorry that I can’t answer your call right now, I’m nowhere near my phone. Leave a message!”, the voicemail said.

“Uhm… Dareen, it’s me. Can I see you tomorrow? I really want to talk to you about everything. Please… Okay, bye.”, I hung up and looked at the cracked screen of my phone. Would Dareen let me talk to her?

Dareen

The living room was already dark and the TV was the only lighting source of the room. Sex And The City was on as the late night movie and I decided to watch it since I couldn’t even close my eyes. What Cameron said earlier echoed in my mind; how he said he loved me. I couldn’t deny the truth that I still felt the same, but I was trying to resist the urge to just call him and talk to him.

When I was concentrating on the movie, my phone buzzed because I put it on silent. I looked over to it and saw the screen lit up with Cameron’s face on the screen, signaling me that he was calling. I widened my eyes and just let it get to the voicemail. After the buzzing finished, I picked up my phone and call the voicemail box, knowing that I had one new voicemail.

“Uhm… Dareen, it’s me. Can I see you tomorrow? I really want to talk to you about everything. Please… Okay, bye.”, the voicemail recording played.

A lump rose in my throat and I threw my phone lightly onto the other couch. I hugged the cushion tighter and closed my eyes shut. Hearing his voice made my heart ache and imagining him to beg just to talk to me was hurting me more. Could I talk to him without shedding a tear?

What would he say about California? What would he think about the show? Even though we talked or whatever, we would’ve worked extra hard to keep our relationship together when I had to move. It wouldn’t work anymore because Cameron and I were now far too different.
************
“Yeah, Hillary, can you bring in the duck tapes in please?”, I shouted over to the store while packing the stuff I had in my office. It was two days before I move and I hadn’t had all the stuff in the office straighten. I hadn’t even replied Cameron’s voicemail and his other voicemails or texts ever since.

There were a couple boxes scattered on the floor for my stuff and I needed to get them shipped to my new apartment in L.A. tomorrow. “Hillary! The tape!”, I called over again but when I turned around to the door, it wasn’t Hillary that stood there, but it was Cameron. “What are you doing?”

“You’re moving?”, he asked while examining the boxes that were around the room. “You’re moving and you didn’t tell me?”

“I thought you didn’t need to know.”, I said calmly and took a deep breath before crossing my arms across my chest. “What do you want?”

He took a few steps around the boxes until he reached a few feet away from me. “Did you get my voicemails? Or even my texts?”

“Sorry, I was busy.”, I answered coldly. “If you don’t need anymore explanation, you should go because I have a lot of things to do.”

“Dareen, please.”, he took me by my wrist when I was about to turn around again. The touch sent electricity from my wrist throughout my body; it even made me jump a bit. Even though it wasn’t that hard, but it was powerful enough to make me stay still, or even too hard for me to shake it off. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

I bit my bottom lip lightly and nodded slightly, giving him the permission to talk. While he was gathering his words, I let my eyes lingered on his face for a bit. His blue eyes weren’t so alive anymore, more like dull. There were dark rings around his eyes, but they were fading. His usual red lips were now a bit pale. In conclusion, Cameron didn’t look like… Cameron.

“Tell me the truth, why are you leaving?”, he asked quietly and cringed when he said ‘leaving’.

“Arletta’s friend offered me to be in his show which would take place in California and Arletta needed me to overlook one of the boutique there.”
“Then, what’s next? You’re leaving me? Without any wants to fix our problem?”, he whispered with his head looking down to his feet.

Then, I couldn’t help it anymore. My free hand went to his cheek and just placed itself there, rubbing his cheek with my thumb. “No.”, I answered. “I… I still feel the same way, but I just need time. I know it’s the shittiest answer but this is my first… real relationship and you’ve messed up—“

“I know I know I’ve messed up.”, he shook his head slightly. “I’m sorry, Dareen, I’m so sorry, but you have to know, all the things I’ve told you, I meant it. I love you.”

There was the L word again. My eyes stung again and I sucked all the air around me to held it back. I just pulled him by his shoulder to me and held him tightly in a hug. It felt like a good thing to do because I didn’t want him to even go near the idea of kissing. I buried my face on his shoulder and tried to remember the scent that I would miss. “Go. Please, just go.”, I muttered as I pulled away.

His eyes looked at me before nodding. “I’m doing this because I love you.”

Now it was my turn to nod. He turned around and walked out from the office. A few moments later, I heard the doorbell clang, signaling that someone already walked out from the boutique. Then, now it was time to let the tears out.