Take Me by Surprise, It Will Blind Me

When I softly opened the front door to the foyer, I could hear the sound of the TV from the living room. It was only 6 PM, Which means Amy and Feranix shouldn't be home already. Feranix's shift ended at 6.30 and Amy would pick her up, so they should be home around 7.30. I took off my shoes and changed it to my slippers before slowly and carefully walk into the living room. Before I could scream, I saw my friends lounged around the couch, watching some unknown soap opera.

"What are you guys doing home?", I asked with my hand on my hips. "Your shift should end in half an hour!", I motioned to Feranix.

Feranix lifted her head up from the armrest of the couch and rolled her eyes. "Chill out, Dare. A guy came to work an hour early and offered to do the rest of my shift, so I called Amy to pick me up earlier."

"Yeah, and I went to the boutique to get you, but Hillary told me that you never came back from your 'lunch break'.", Amy retorted and wrapped her arms across her chest. "Where were you?"

Both of their stare were on me and honestly, it built up so much pressure. I couldn't handle it anymore, so I decided to stomp my way to my room, but suddenly, Feranix got off the couch and stopped me by my wrist. "Where were you?"

"I was out to lunch with Cameron, happy?!", I spat and shook Feranix's hand off mine before continuing my way to my room. When I got in, I slammed the door close and threw my bag across the room. Why was I mad? What was the reason until I could spat at my best friends? The thoughts I had in my mind were like weigh a thousand pounds each. I lie down on my bed and buried my face in my pillow. It wasn't that long until I heard my door cracked open and footsteps walking towards my bed.

The space next to me sunk and a hand stroked my hair. "Tell me what happened?"

"Nothing.", I answered but sounded muffled because of my face in the pillow.

"You know... You've spent an awful lot of time with Cameron... Is there a possibility of--", She trailed off. I got up straight and looked at her in the eyes. "You know..."

"Possibility of what?!", I demanded. "What, Amy!?"

She sighed and shrugged her shoulder. "You know, liking him? Having some feelings for him? Falling for him?"

With that, my eyes widened. Not in a million years I would fall for a guy, but, could Amy give me an answer about those 'unfamiliar feelings' I had earlier? The ticklish feeling in my stomach... The uncontainable euphoria when I saw Cameron... The light electricity I felt down my spine when I remembered how he noticed the changes I had... But, what Amy would say about all of those? "No... Never, Ame, you know me.", I lied.

"Not even a tiny bit?"

"No.", I said sternly. "Please, I need some sleep."

Amy looked at me for another minute before standing up and walking out from my room. After she closed the door, I didn't even change my clothes, but I got under the covers quickly. The million thoughts were still there and swirled around my mind, like a whirlwind. What if Amy was right? No, she couldn't be. I wasn't falling for Cameron. Falling for a guy was the last thing I want to do. If Cameron and I were the last two people on earth and the human race is counting on us to mate, I would choose to die instead.

The ride to work was a bit awkward because of what happened last night. Feranix was munching on her Marshmallow Pop Tart while texting with God knows who and Amy was pretending she was so serious with the road. I leaned my head on the window and just watched the blurry view outside.

After dropping Feranix off at Jammin' Java, we continued our drive. When we stopped at a red light, I guessed Amy couldn't contain her curiosity anymore. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"What, Amy?", I sighed and looked over to her. "There's absolutely nothing to talk about."

"Yes, there is.", She replied. "You like Cameron, Dareen... You gotta admit it sooner or later."

"What makes you so sure that I like Cameron?", I rolled my eyes. The rest of the drive was spent by arguing about my feelings towards Cameron. It was stupid actually, remembering that I wouldn't want to have a relationship with men, not an exception to my long time friend. We got to the strip and parked in front of Amy's store as always. I got out and said my goodbye before rushing to the store.

Some new dresses arrived today and I had to be there to sort them by the racks. When I got in, Hillary and Stacy were already unwrapping some of the floor length gowns from their dove white garment bag. I just sat down on one of the armchair and looked at them sorting it. I felt like I was having a hangover even though I didn't have any drink for the past 24 hours, but it was the thoughts I've been having that made me like this. "I got to go.", I muttered and scooped up some of the plastics from the floor.

The morning sun was beating down and it wasn't the usual east coast sun. It could've fooled me that I was in California. The dumpster wasn't that far from the boutique and I dragged the black trash bag full of plastics, it could be heavy. When I got there, I picked up the bag with all of my strength and I almost fell back, but someone caught me.

"Whoa there, red head.", he chuckled and helped me stood up straight again. I turned around and saw Cameron. Why did he show up in this kind of time? "Need help with that?"

"No.", I replied coldly and pushed the bag into the dumpster. Before he could say anything else, I walked away and left him there. There was already a storm in my head and I didn't need anymore addition to it by meeting him.

"Dareen! Hey!", Cameron called me as he jogged up to catch up. I sped up my pace and when I was about to get into the boutique, he caught me by my shoulder. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing!", I shook his hands off my shoulder. "God, Cameron, can you leave me alone for just a day?! Go take care of your girlfriend instead of me!"

He just stood there and looked at me. I could see he was offended and he shook his head before chuckling bitterly. "You know what, I came here because I needed to talk to my friend about that girlfriend of mine who I just caught cheating. I needed my friend, not the Ice Queen."

When I was about to say something, he turned around and left me. Guilt rushed in, replacing the nervous thoughts that I had since last night. I hurt all of the people around me and I felt like shit, more likely, I felt like a shit that got stomped on. I looked around and saw Amy, standing in front of her store. She saw everything.

Tears started to sting my eyes and I couldn't hold them back, so I let them streamed down. Amy jogged up to me and held me by my shoulders before I could fall off on my knee. Everything made me weak. Where was my Ice Queen self? The strong side of me? I didn't want to be this mushy, cry baby, and weak self. Everything went wrong. Amy led me into the boutique and through the shop so we could get to my office.

Hillary and Stacy and the others were asking about me to her, but she just shook her head, telling them that she wouldn't tell them what was wrong. When we get to my office, she let me fell onto the love seat and pulled my legs onto my chest. She sat down next to me and kept some strands of my hair away from my face while my cheeks got sticky because of the tears. When I was done, I leaned my head on Amy's shoulder and just looked blankly out the wide window behind my desk.

"So... Ready to tell me what happened?", Amy started off.

"I hurt everyone.", I hiccuped. "Just because I'm scared, I hurt everyone that doesn't deserve to be hurt."

"What are you scared off?"

"I feel things... I never felt. It's all new to me... And I don't know what to do."

I knew Amy was dying to ask me what kind of feelings, but she decided to kept it to herself. It was around 10.15 when I calmed down and let Amy go back to her job. Stacy and Hillary asked me what happened and I just told them that I was having a rough start of the day. I looked around the boutique, overlooking the gowns and dresses that were already neatly sorted and hung on the racks. The scent of new opened gowns was my favorite; like you could imagine how its made and things.

I tried to keep a smile on my face all day but all I had in mind was how Cameron looked so hurt when I told him to take care of Trish, then he told me he just caught her cheating on him. He came here to talk to me about her and I blew him off like that. I tried to call him or text him, but none of my calls got answered nor my texts. The table was turned.