Stories In Scars
Love is a battlefield
I immedately fall back into my bunk, onto Spencer, bawling.
“It’s positive,” I tell him inbetween sobs.
“You need to tell him.”
I knew that. But, I didn’t want to believe it.
“I know. Can’t it wait?”
“No, Grey, it can’t.”
Sigh. Spencer. Always the voice of reason, and will tell you the honest to god truth.
I get up from the bunk, and mope into the so-called “living area.” Ryan was there, sitting on the sofa, eyes bloodshot, probably from tears. Brendon and Jon were sitting by him. As soon as I walked in, they left, as if they knew this was going to be big.
“Did you-” he started.
“Yeah,” I nodded, knowing what he was going to say.
“And?”
“It’s positive.”
“But!”
“We were so careful. I know,” I tell Ryan.
“I can’t believe this...”
“Nor can I...”
I couldn’t cry anymore. I think the fountain of tears has finally dried up.
Goddamn. This isn’t what I fucking needed right now. I’m having the oppertunity of my life, and this whole ordeal is killing it.
“What are we going to do?” Ryan asks, honest to god scared.
“I don’t know,” I tell him, shaking my head.
Spencer, Brendon, and Jon entered the room and sat down on the sofa and chairs with us.
“You two know what’s up, right?” I ask Jon and Brendon.
“Yeah, but Spencer wouldn’t tell us... About the test,” Jon clarifies.
“I thought it was your place to tell them,” Spencer whispered.
“The test... It’s positive, guys,” I tell them, almost numb by this point.
“Wow,” Jon and Brendon say together, shaking their heads.
“I know,” Ryan nods.
“Well, have you guys decided what you’re going to do about... it?” Brendon asks.
Ryan and I both shake our heads no.
“I thought,” I say, “that since we’re basically like a family, and you three are closer to me than just about anyone, besides Ryan, that whatever happens, you’d all be there? Help make decisions? I mean, I know that it’s Ryan’s and my... thing. But, we’re also living with you three.”
Brendon smiles weakly, Jon shakes his head, and Spencer comes up to give me a hug. After, follow Jon and Brendon, almost as if they were doing rounds at a family party.
“Fuck, we have soundcheck practice thing. Are you guys going to be okay to practice?” I ask them.
“Yeah. What about you?” Spencer asked.
“Mhm,” I nod, “I’ll be fine. Just don’t breathe a word of this. Please.”
“We know,” Jon says with a smile.
At practice, Ryan seemed very distant. I know, it can be a shock when your fiancee says that she’s pregnant, but SHE’S the one that’s pregnant, not you! Shouldn’t I be the more anti-social one?
Instead of going around and sight seeing and such, we all decided to hang out in the bus, since, after all, there was a lot going on.
On the bus, Ryan retreated to his bunk, to do whatever. Spencer, Jon, Brendon, and I stayed in the living area, talking about anything that came to mind.
“Is it just me, or is Ryan very distant?” I ask the guys.
“Well, you did just tell him you’re... you know,” Spencer answers.
“He’s bound to be freaked out,” Jon adds sympathetically.
“Yeah. But, I’m the one that’s, that’s, that’s,” I stutter, “pregnant. I should be the one all freaked out, not him. Am I just being overly selfish?”
“No, m’dear. Not in the least,” Brendon answered.
“Okay...”
We went to go grab some sandwiches before the show, but Ryan didn’t want to come. And that was... fine. Just weird. So, we brought one back for him. After all, even if he is being an ass, he still needs to eat.
That night, we had a great show. The kids were into it. We got into it. Overall, it went great. it definately lifted all of our spirits.
Ryan opted to go back to the bus after the show, instead of doing the meet and greet with the rest of us. I left early to figure out what the hell was up with him.
“Ryan,” I start, “what the hell has been your problem today? I need you more than ever now, with this huge problem that we’re going through.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m still slightly freaked out,” he starts yelling at me.
“What the fuck! I’m the one that’s fucking pregnant here! Not you!” I scream back.
I look at him and shake my head. “Ryan Ross, you disappoint me.”
“It’s positive,” I tell him inbetween sobs.
“You need to tell him.”
I knew that. But, I didn’t want to believe it.
“I know. Can’t it wait?”
“No, Grey, it can’t.”
Sigh. Spencer. Always the voice of reason, and will tell you the honest to god truth.
I get up from the bunk, and mope into the so-called “living area.” Ryan was there, sitting on the sofa, eyes bloodshot, probably from tears. Brendon and Jon were sitting by him. As soon as I walked in, they left, as if they knew this was going to be big.
“Did you-” he started.
“Yeah,” I nodded, knowing what he was going to say.
“And?”
“It’s positive.”
“But!”
“We were so careful. I know,” I tell Ryan.
“I can’t believe this...”
“Nor can I...”
I couldn’t cry anymore. I think the fountain of tears has finally dried up.
Goddamn. This isn’t what I fucking needed right now. I’m having the oppertunity of my life, and this whole ordeal is killing it.
“What are we going to do?” Ryan asks, honest to god scared.
“I don’t know,” I tell him, shaking my head.
Spencer, Brendon, and Jon entered the room and sat down on the sofa and chairs with us.
“You two know what’s up, right?” I ask Jon and Brendon.
“Yeah, but Spencer wouldn’t tell us... About the test,” Jon clarifies.
“I thought it was your place to tell them,” Spencer whispered.
“The test... It’s positive, guys,” I tell them, almost numb by this point.
“Wow,” Jon and Brendon say together, shaking their heads.
“I know,” Ryan nods.
“Well, have you guys decided what you’re going to do about... it?” Brendon asks.
Ryan and I both shake our heads no.
“I thought,” I say, “that since we’re basically like a family, and you three are closer to me than just about anyone, besides Ryan, that whatever happens, you’d all be there? Help make decisions? I mean, I know that it’s Ryan’s and my... thing. But, we’re also living with you three.”
Brendon smiles weakly, Jon shakes his head, and Spencer comes up to give me a hug. After, follow Jon and Brendon, almost as if they were doing rounds at a family party.
“Fuck, we have soundcheck practice thing. Are you guys going to be okay to practice?” I ask them.
“Yeah. What about you?” Spencer asked.
“Mhm,” I nod, “I’ll be fine. Just don’t breathe a word of this. Please.”
“We know,” Jon says with a smile.
At practice, Ryan seemed very distant. I know, it can be a shock when your fiancee says that she’s pregnant, but SHE’S the one that’s pregnant, not you! Shouldn’t I be the more anti-social one?
Instead of going around and sight seeing and such, we all decided to hang out in the bus, since, after all, there was a lot going on.
On the bus, Ryan retreated to his bunk, to do whatever. Spencer, Jon, Brendon, and I stayed in the living area, talking about anything that came to mind.
“Is it just me, or is Ryan very distant?” I ask the guys.
“Well, you did just tell him you’re... you know,” Spencer answers.
“He’s bound to be freaked out,” Jon adds sympathetically.
“Yeah. But, I’m the one that’s, that’s, that’s,” I stutter, “pregnant. I should be the one all freaked out, not him. Am I just being overly selfish?”
“No, m’dear. Not in the least,” Brendon answered.
“Okay...”
We went to go grab some sandwiches before the show, but Ryan didn’t want to come. And that was... fine. Just weird. So, we brought one back for him. After all, even if he is being an ass, he still needs to eat.
That night, we had a great show. The kids were into it. We got into it. Overall, it went great. it definately lifted all of our spirits.
Ryan opted to go back to the bus after the show, instead of doing the meet and greet with the rest of us. I left early to figure out what the hell was up with him.
“Ryan,” I start, “what the hell has been your problem today? I need you more than ever now, with this huge problem that we’re going through.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m still slightly freaked out,” he starts yelling at me.
“What the fuck! I’m the one that’s fucking pregnant here! Not you!” I scream back.
I look at him and shake my head. “Ryan Ross, you disappoint me.”