Stories In Scars
Black & White Photographs From The Past
I suddenly pulled back.
“Oh, god. The fucking doctor warned me about this. Hormones. Changes. God, I’m so sorry, Jon. It’s just the fucking hormones talking, and the sudden change, I swear,” I tell him, apoligizing profusely.
With a look of slight disappointment in his eyes he says, “Yeah. Hormones. I get it.” He smiled a half smile.
Just then, Spencer walked in with two large coffees in hand.
“Strong, just like you like it,” he says, handing it to me.
“I should, uh, get going,” Jon says, slipping out of the room.
“What’s his problem?” Spencer asks.
“Uh, nothing. Nothing at all. Oh, thanks for the coffee,” I tell him with a slight smile.
“See!? I knew it would get you smiling. Oh, and I talked to Ryan. He says he, uh, hopes you feel better soon. I still can’t believe you guys broke up.”
“Me either. I thought we really had something. But, that wouldn’t be the first time I thought wrong...”
“It’s okay,” Spencer comforts me, “I’m sure there won’t be that much tension anymore.”
Suddenly, Ryan walked into the room, carrying a vase of calla lilies.
“Oh,” Spencer said, “I better go.”
“I, uh,” Ryan started, “Um... These are for you,” he says, walking in and putting the vase by my bedside table.
“Thanks,” I tell him.
There was a few seconds of complete silence. Those seconds felt like hours.
“Really, though, why are you here?” I ask him.
“I wanted to, uh, try to make it up to you. I’m really sorry this all happened. Can we just go back to normal? Like, how we were?”
“What the hell, Ryan!?” I start yelling, “I just had a fucking abortion to get rid of your fucking child, and now you want everything to go back to fucking normal!? Goddamn, Ryan...” Tears started falling from my eyes. “I just can’t go back to ‘normal,’ whatever the hell that was. I physically just had another life sucked out of me. You try to go back to normal after that!”
“I just thought...”
“Well don’t think Ryan. You obviouslly are an extremely narcissistic creature who can’t think of anyone’s feelings but his own.”
“I’m sorry,” tears started to fall down his face.
“Don’t you fucking be sorry! The only thing that you should be sorry for is for loving me in the first place! Or did you ever really love me? Was I just another good fuck to you, Ryan? Was that all I was? Was I just another girl who you played pretend with?”
“No, no... I loved you Grey. Fuck, I still love you!”
“I can’t do this Ryan. Not now. I don’t think I can... Ever,” I conclued. “We had our chance, and it’s gone. You blew it when you freaked out about a pregnancy. There’s no fucking pregnancy for you to be worrying about anymore.”
For a few moments, silence embraced us. Spencer walked back in, and Ryan ran out.
“Should I even ask?”
“No,” I tell him, shaking my head.
“Oh, god. The fucking doctor warned me about this. Hormones. Changes. God, I’m so sorry, Jon. It’s just the fucking hormones talking, and the sudden change, I swear,” I tell him, apoligizing profusely.
With a look of slight disappointment in his eyes he says, “Yeah. Hormones. I get it.” He smiled a half smile.
Just then, Spencer walked in with two large coffees in hand.
“Strong, just like you like it,” he says, handing it to me.
“I should, uh, get going,” Jon says, slipping out of the room.
“What’s his problem?” Spencer asks.
“Uh, nothing. Nothing at all. Oh, thanks for the coffee,” I tell him with a slight smile.
“See!? I knew it would get you smiling. Oh, and I talked to Ryan. He says he, uh, hopes you feel better soon. I still can’t believe you guys broke up.”
“Me either. I thought we really had something. But, that wouldn’t be the first time I thought wrong...”
“It’s okay,” Spencer comforts me, “I’m sure there won’t be that much tension anymore.”
Suddenly, Ryan walked into the room, carrying a vase of calla lilies.
“Oh,” Spencer said, “I better go.”
“I, uh,” Ryan started, “Um... These are for you,” he says, walking in and putting the vase by my bedside table.
“Thanks,” I tell him.
There was a few seconds of complete silence. Those seconds felt like hours.
“Really, though, why are you here?” I ask him.
“I wanted to, uh, try to make it up to you. I’m really sorry this all happened. Can we just go back to normal? Like, how we were?”
“What the hell, Ryan!?” I start yelling, “I just had a fucking abortion to get rid of your fucking child, and now you want everything to go back to fucking normal!? Goddamn, Ryan...” Tears started falling from my eyes. “I just can’t go back to ‘normal,’ whatever the hell that was. I physically just had another life sucked out of me. You try to go back to normal after that!”
“I just thought...”
“Well don’t think Ryan. You obviouslly are an extremely narcissistic creature who can’t think of anyone’s feelings but his own.”
“I’m sorry,” tears started to fall down his face.
“Don’t you fucking be sorry! The only thing that you should be sorry for is for loving me in the first place! Or did you ever really love me? Was I just another good fuck to you, Ryan? Was that all I was? Was I just another girl who you played pretend with?”
“No, no... I loved you Grey. Fuck, I still love you!”
“I can’t do this Ryan. Not now. I don’t think I can... Ever,” I conclued. “We had our chance, and it’s gone. You blew it when you freaked out about a pregnancy. There’s no fucking pregnancy for you to be worrying about anymore.”
For a few moments, silence embraced us. Spencer walked back in, and Ryan ran out.
“Should I even ask?”
“No,” I tell him, shaking my head.