Endlessly

2003

I let out a huff of air, as I sprinted down the sheet of ice, chasing the stray puck. Some kid, number thirty-five, was in my way. In one practiced movement, I lowered my shoulder and leveled him, reaching for the puck with my stick. Suddenly, a whistle blew, signaling a penalty, and the referee was pointing at me.

What the hell? Cole, a teammate, threw his hands up, displaying his disagreement. "Come on," the ref said, leading me to the penalty box. As he went up to the announcers box, I heard him shout in, "Boarding."

No fucking way. That was totally clean. As I unhooked my helmet strap, I heard someone shout from the stands, "What are you talking about? Boarding? That's total bull! How much are they paying you?"

I felt a smile creep onto my face, and turned to see Rae on her feet, standing on one of the benches, my away jersey hanging over her frame. She noticed my glance, before blushing slightly, and giving me a tiny wave. I gave her a head nod, which caused her break out into a grin.

She may be dating Oliver, but she's here, at my game on a Friday night, wearing my jersey, instead of with him at the school dance. Suck it, douche bag. She's mine, and there's nothing you can do.

I turned once more, with a minute left in my penalty, and pointed at her, before mouthing 'goal'. She looked confused for a moment as she deciphered what I was trying to say. But once she understood, the look on her face was enough to keep me flying high for a week.

Three minutes and forty-two seconds later, the puck flew off my stick into the net. Goal. As I skated by the bench the fist bump my teammates, I made sure to loop around far enough so I could look up at Rae. As soon as my eyes found her, grinning from ear-to-ear, dimples and all, I pointed to her for a moment, long enough for the people standing around her turned to stare at her. I turned, but even out of the corner of my eye I could see her face flush. Mission accomplished,

Present

"Ah, hell no, you didn't," Jared said, in a very fake southern drawl. "No, you did not."

"Shut up, dick wad," Marc answered with an eye roll.

That was definitely not the way I planned my meeting with Rae to go. But still, I couldn't get that look on her face out of my head; the wide, saucer eyes, mouth slightly gaping, total deer-in-headlights. I'm sure I had the same look on my face.

"I can't believe that she's back. And she has a fucking boyfriend," I mumbled, letting my head fall forward to rest in my hands.

"Dude," Marc said, setting a hand on my shoulder, "You don't actually believe that's her boyfriend, do you?"

I gave him a long look, urging him to continue. "He's not her type, Jord. As far as I remember, she didn't date tool bags and players in high school."

Jared fake-coughed, trying to cover up a laugh. When both Marc and I stared at him, his cheeks flushed slightly. "I guess she just made an exception for Jordan," he explained, but the smile practically ran off his face when he saw the murderous look on my face.

I pushed away from the table, fists clenched at my side. My mom had a strict rule about not starting fights inside the house, but I had some many emotions built up at that point, it was only a matter of time before I took a swing at somebody, at it might as well be Jared.

Marc's hand restrained me, preventing me from starting another fight. "Not now. Why don't you go help dad with the farm. I find hard manual labor always takes my mind off things."

I muttered a not-so-nice words under my breath, before stomping out the door.

***

"What gives?"

My father was a man of few words, and rarely interfered with his sons' lives. So when he spoke, you listened. When he gave you advice, you followed through like it was direct orders. When he asked you a question, you answered as truthfully as you could.

But, I had been so wrapped up in chopping the wood up like it was David's head, I hadn't really heard his question. So I responded stupidly, "Huh?"

"I said, 'What gives?'. You're acting a little out of character. You normally don't willingly chop wood with me, and then proceed to silently, but maliciously, take out all your troubles on the wood. Who is this 'David' character you keep muttering about?"

"Uh, just this, this, guy," I finished, not sure exactly how I should describe him.

"Son?" My dad's tone of voice stopped me mid-swing, and I turned my head towards him. "Are you," he cleared his throat awkwardly, "are you, uh, gay?" he hissed the last word like it was coveted government secret.

The ax slid from my grasp, thumping as it landed on the ground. "Gay?" I practically shouted. "Holy shit, you think I'm gay? You've got it all wrong, dad."

I saw him visibly relax, like an invisble weight had been lifted of his shoulders. "Thank the Lord."

"Jesus, dad. David's just this idiot that lives on the Kealys' old property, and now he's fucking dating Rae, my Rae-" I froze, realizing I'd just sworn in front of my dad, who was a fricking Nazi when it came to us swearing in a normal conversation.

"It's been excused. Continue."

"Oh, ok. Thanks dad. Anyway, he's dating Rae- Did I mention she's back? - and I saw her and she told me that she wanted me to leave. And the guy had this stupid smirk on his face the whole time, and I was going to punch his lights out but Marc had to stop me and-" I took a deep breath, before finishing. "And I know I still love her. Even after all this time."

My dad stared at me thoughtfully, like he was expecting me to keep talking. When I didn't, he said, "That's it? You didn't go after her?"

"I-you want me to- you think it would work?"

"There's only one way to find out, Jordan. And no son of mine gives up easily." He nodded once, satisfied with his advice, and left me alone, with at least twenty more trees to chop.

I picked up the ax again, and swung it with everything I had, listening to the satisfying crack of the splitting wood. I couldn't ignore my dad's advice. Hell, if I didn't at least attempt to win Rae over again, he would probably disown me.

Sweet Jesus, this was going to be a long summer.