More Than Just Curious

Gerard’s P.O.V

Frankie has been more and more distant with me these last few days. I didn’t know if it was because of what had happened that night in his bedroom, or more of his ex-girlfriend stuff. I was getting tired of that, the way he always talked about her even though she was deceased. To be honest with you, I am more than happy to help him with his problems. I just don’t think it will be long until I just close my doors on him and just throw in the towel.

I sat there, slumped in my chair, drawing more pictures of random and diluted things. I had always wanted to be an artist, ever since I was young. I knew I was good at it; I had just never tried to do anything about it. I was always too modest.

I was knocked out of my thoughts as there was a knock at my bedroom door. I sighed and stood up, abandoning my artwork and walked to the door, opening it slowly. There in the doorway stood Mikey, with a DVD in hand.

“Hey bro, you want to watch a movie? I’m bored and Alicia can’t come over and we haven’t hung out in a while. What do you say?” he asked me hopefully holding up the movie Chainsaw Massacre. I thought about it for a moment before nodding my head and letting him in.

He smiled at me and walked in, putting the DVD into the player and sitting on my bed waiting for it to begin. I shuffled back over to my desk and put away my drawing before I joined him on the bed.

“So how is Frank doing? I haven’t seen or heard him in a while.” Mikey asked me as the credits rolled; I stared at the wall watching as it changed from color to color from the TV light.

“I honestly have no idea Mikes, he hasn’t really been talking to me that much lately,” I told him honestly. I hadn’t seen or talked to Frank for the past three days out of school, which he rarely went to due to him bursting out in tears in almost every class. Today he hadn’t gone at all.

I looked at Mikey, then back to my hands, staring at them nervously. Mikey glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, his expression full of wonder.

“What’s wrong bro?” he asked me, patting my back soothingly. I sighed and looked up at him.

This was my brother. My amazing brother that I loved and trusted. I could tell him anything and not worry about him judging me. He was my best friend and was always there for me, no matter what. Through thick and thin, he was there, waiting to pick up the pieces. And I loved him for it.

“I like Frank,” I admitted to him. “I like Frank a lot more than I should, and I can’t tell him my real feelings,” no matter how hard I try to show him. I was on the verge of crying now; Mikey looked at me with a saddened expression. Mikey sighed and wrapped me up in a hug, letting me cry into his shirt.

“I can never tell him how I really feel Mikey. A-and he has been ignoring m-me for almost a whole w-week now and I have no idea w-what I did to him.” I broke down to Mikey, pouring out all my feelings. He nodded and patted my back, urging me to continue.

“He is so hung up on his ex-girlfriend; he changes his moods all the time. He could be happy one minute then depressed and crying the next. He is so confusing, but I don’t know why I’m so attracted to him. I never felt this way about anyone, even Lyn-z. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. All I know is that when I don’t see him it hurts. When I can’t hear his voice I just want to scream. I need him Mikey, I really do.” I told him truthfully. I need him.

Mikey looked at me and frowned, wiping stray tears away from my face and hugged me tightly, not letting me go as I cried to him. I couldn’t tell how long I was sitting there. It could have been hours, or just barley even minutes. Then finally Mikey spoke.

“Call him Gerard, just try and talk to him,” was all he said. I nodded my head in agreement and got out of Mikey's protective arms, walking over to my cell phone and dialing Frankie’s number.

The phone rang and rang. I was anxious that I couldn’t stand still. I walked around the room pacing as it rang. The other line picked up and I heard rustling in the background.

“Frankie, I’m so sorry, what did I do?” I cried into the phone, hardly being able to keep a good grasp on it.

“This is Linda Gerard; Frank can’t come to the phone right now. I’m sorry, but I’ll have to let you go,” Came Frank’s mother’s voice. My head fell forward.

“Oh okay,” I said silently as the phone went dead. I kept the phone glued to my ear for a second longer, not really grasping what just happened.

Mikey walked over to me and grabbed the phone away, clicking the end button before wrapping me up in a hug, keeping me close to him.

“It’s okay Gerard, everything’s going to be okay,” Mikey assured me. I nodded my head, but knew that nothing was okay. This was just only the beginning of my sorrows.

Mikey picked up the remote and turned off the TV. The room fell black and I felt the bed come up from behind me. Mikey pushed me down into it, wrapping the covers around my shaking body. I felt the other side of the bed tilt due to Mikey's weight and I felt the covers being lifted off of me slightly as Mikey slipped in under the covers.

“Good night Gerard, if Frank’s at school tomorrow I will talk to him, but for now try to forget about it and get some sleep.” Mikey told me. I shook my head aggressively.

“No! Mikey, don’t talk to him about it please! I’ll do it when I think it feels right,” I pleaded with him. I saw him shake his head in the dim light as he drifted off to sleep. I soon fell asleep afterwards, crying myself to my slumber.