Crazy Beautiful

Holding the last piece of my past, his past, no, it was our past. When I had school and he had the band. The last day I’d see him as the love of my life, I didn’t know that then. Then again I didn’t know any of this. I just lied to myself saying how we wouldn’t end, we were meant to be. I also never said I’d miss Brian more than Zacky. Brian always had my heart as I dated Zacky, the whole time.

Being back here, in Huntington Beach California, I see why I had to leave. They left me and never even knew why it hurt me so much. Brian said he’d be back and that’s when we could tell Zacky. He came back alright; He came back with Val’s twin sister Michelle. I had nothing against her, well besides the fact she had my boyfriend, or my other boyfriend. Whatever he was, it hurt, and he didn’t even end things with me. Then when I found out Zacky cheated on me with some girl Gena I ran away.

I actually liked her though, Gena I mean, and she wasn’t some whore. No one knew about me, but she was good for Zack. I was the girl left behind to finish school. Zacky and I saved our friendship, but Brian and I weren’t salvageable, it hurt more and more every day. Seeing him with her killed me and I packed my stuff and left. I moved to New York City, worked at a design studio. I slowly got over Brian; or so I liked to believe.

Only a few new friends know about my story and they all say I’m just as in love with him as I was at seventeen. Now I’m twenty-five and I don’t know a thing about the guys’ other then what the magazines say. Over the years I had so many things from the past, but I slowly lost them. The only thing I had was two pictures; one of the entire A7X group and then one of Zacky, Brian and Me.

I never had the heart to throw them away they held the last days of pure happiness I had. I was looking at them and slowly my mind faded in and out of the past and present. Then my eyes landed on Brian. I wonder how he is now. Is Michelle still with him? Is he even happy? I miss him so much. Does he wonder how I am? The door to our apartment slams pulling me out of my thoughts. I rush to hide my photos; Adam would make sure I never saw them again.

Luckily I had a drawer which the bottom lifted up and I hid them there. Adam use to be my boss in New York, we shortly found attraction and began dating. He was great then he snapped and started an abusive path and I was along for the ride. Now he was offered a job for Vengeance University. I guess moving back to Huntington didn’t hurt too much, but I work for my boyfriend, who now works with Zacky. My ex best friend and my very own ex-boyfriend, but even more importantly. Zacky was Brian’s best friend.

“Riley?! Where the hell are you?” Adam screams

I know I should answer and save myself the extra smack, but I don’t feel like it right now. I just sit and think about how my life could’ve been had I gone with my friends. They were like my family. Val was my girl best friend. Jimmy was like my big brother, same as Matt. Johnny and Lacey practically lived with me all through high school. Leana and I knew each other since grade school, I helped her meet Jimmy. Then there was Zack and Brian. We all just matched and held the group together.

“RILEY?!!” Adam screams louder than last time.

I know I’m in for it now. He used to be so sweet to me. I think back to Brian, how I got lost in his coffee brown orbs. His smile made me melt. He will be the only one who knew about my extreme drinking and drug habits. He covered for me when I went to rehab too. I never even thanked him for that.

“What the fuck bitch?! Didn’t you hear me fucking yell your name?!” he yells as he walks into our room. I knew not to answer. He didn’t want one, He just liked to yell.

“You probably were thinking about screwing our new manager, because you heard about him being famous!” He pushed me to the ground and kicked me hard in the face, then the ribs.

“Well he wouldn’t want to touch you with a ten foot fucking pole! I’m only with you because you’re obedient.” He smiles wickedly down at me and I know exactly what’s going to happen next.

“Please Adam don’t.” I beg and he loves it, but the words just slipped out.

“Come on riley you know you love it.” He chuckles and kicks me again harder and in my stomach. I scream out in agony and he only loves this.

“Get away from me!” I spit out and notice the blood filling my mouth.

He grabs me by my hair and pulls me up and throws me onto the bed. I squirm under him begging for him to stop, and how I won’t tell anyone if he lets me go now. He only likes this more, having some power over me, it makes me sick. He ties me up and I wish I could disappear at that precise moment.

I felt more ashamed than any other person I’d ever known. Adam puts his clothes on and walks out of the house again going to his favorite bar, The Pub. He left me untied and I felt broken, and then I think about one person who would help no matter what. I ran into her a couple of weeks ago, she gave me her number to call so we could hang out and talk, but I never called. I’m using it now though and that’s all that should count.
Better late than never, right?

I dial the number and listen to it ring two times before I get an answer. “Hello.” A happy voice greets me.

“Hello is this Valary?” I stutter a little I was so nervous; I hadn’t talked to her in years, well other than our little run in.

“Umm well yea it is might I ask who you are?” I bite my lip hard and it stings, remembering it’s busted.

“It’s Riley, Val I need your help. I’m sorry but you’re the only one I know to go to.”

"Riley? What’s wrong? Are you okay? Do the guys’ need to kick someone’s ass?” I smile and then frown knowing I need her help right now.

“No that’s okay, but can you pick me up.”

“Sweetie, of course, where are you?” I gave her my address and hung up the phone after our goodbyes.

I hope she gets here before Adam gets back. An hour passes and I hear a car door shut. Please God, let it be Val. Knocking is soon at the door and I slowly walk towards it. I hear Val confirm that it was just her and asking if I was here or not. I go to the door my body aching everywhere and when I open it Val’s face looks at me in horror. I move aside and let her in; trying to avoid the fearful stares.

“I need to get a few things and we can leave.” She nods her head and looks around.

I go back to my room, and I grab my gold heart shaped locket my mother gave me, those two pictures, my cell phone, five hundred dollars and a bottle of jack. I was set to go wherever she was willing to drive me to.