Fall

My phone rang at the ungodly hour of 8am and I was forced to answer it when my little boy ran in and accidently threw it at my face.

“Hello?” I half answered half asked in groggily tone, rubbing my nose.

“Hey, Nat,” he said happily, and a little too excited for this hour in the day. “How’s my favorite girl?”

“I’m good, I guess,” I answered him.

“Just good?” he questioned, concerned.

I had no other choice but to tell him a little white lie. “Well, yeah. All of my boys left me, so I’m pretty lonely.”

“You know you could’ve come too,” he said.

“No, I couldn’t have,” I responded truthfully, “Finals are soon.”

“I know,” he responded. “But it was wishful thinking,” he chuckled in the background. “I miss you.”

I rubbed my eyes. “I miss you too.”

He kept the bland conversation going by asking, “What’re your plans for the day?”

“Ross and I are going to hang out with Jay since we both have off.” I decided it was finally time to get out of bed. I walked over to the mirror to assess myself for lack of better things to do whilst on the phone with Justin.

“That sounds like fun.”

“Hopefully it will be,” I replied truthfully, putting my hair up into a ponytail. “Jay’s been a handful lately,” I told him, “He’s been bugging me about learning guitar.” I certainly left John out of that for many reasons. I don’t know what Justin would do if he knew that I was on speaking terms with him, let alone allowing him to visit Jay.

He chuckled and asked with spirit; “It’s been three days and he’s already a handful?”

“What can I say, I’m not good at this whole single parent thing.”

“Guitar, huh?” He was still caught up on the latter.

“Yep.”

“He’s a very ambitious two-year-old,” he said like a proud father. I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face. It amazes me how much Justin loves the kid, and I couldn’t bare taking the two away from each other; Justin is most definitely Jay’s father figure, and he’s been doing a perfect job at keeping the title.

“I wonder where he gets that from…” Jay’s ambition could possibly be from his genetics or from his environment. Ambition for him is innate on my side and on John’s between the career and music aspirations we possess; the same goes for his environment as well.

A while ago I would have thought nothing of any of these little things that make up who Jay is because he was purely mine and Justin’s, and I couldn’t think of any better influences on his life. But now, with John sort of in the picture, I keep having to question his actions and whether they are a product of his upbringing or of his DNA, and that scares me. I do not want to share my little boy with John O’Callaghan V.

“Who’s been watching him while you’re at school?” he asked in wonderment and concern for Jay and my education.

“Jenny switched her off days for the time being so she could watch him,” I told him.

“That’s nice of her.”

“Yeah,” I replied. I moved into the kitchen and started to make some breakfast so I had to balance the phone between my ear and shoulder, of which I was never particularly good at. “She loves hanging out with him. And the best part is that she doesn’t get sick of him.”

“I guess that’s what happens when you’re a grandparent.”

I retorted, “Or a parent in general.”

“Well we have a lot of things to learn about parenting.”

I agreed with a smile, “Here, here.”
_______________________________________________________________

Since I had the day off from work and school, Jay and I went over to the O’Callaghan home to hang out with Ross because, frankly, it has been far too long since I’ve seen the kid and I miss him terribly.

“Hey, Nat,” Ross called as he bounded down to me from the stoop of the house. I was about to unbuckle Jay from his car seat when he scooped me up in an unexpected hug, twirling me around twice, and causing Jay to laugh his high-pitched, beautiful laugh. “How’ve you been?”

“I’m good, I guess,” I laughed out once my toes met the pavement. “A little stressed out,” I admitted sheepishly, “But I’m okay.” I nodded and gave him a smile to reassure him that I am actually okay.
He eyed me up, not believing me and my attempts to feign happiness, “Just okay?” I could feel his eyes boring into me, searching and probing to get an honest answer out.

“Well, yeah. All of my boys left me so I’m pretty lonely.” There is nothing wrong telling the half-truth for the second time today.

He looked at me skeptically once more and stopped his judgments and questions when Jay started throwing a fit for me to take him out of the car. “Hey, Alianna came over with Heather. I hope that’s okay?” He asked, leaning up against my car as I unbuckled and lifted Jay out.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Jay will have someone to play with while the adults chat,” I wagged my eyes at him, causing him to smirk at my joking insinuations.

“What adults?”

“Ya know, that thing you’re supposed to become once you finish high school,” I told him as I put Jay down so he could stand on his own.

“Damn. If I knew that I would have never accepted that diploma.”

“I concur.”

Just then Ali and Heather emerged from inside the house. Ali wearing a beautiful yellow sundress that complemented her sun-kissed hair and blue eyes immensely, and Heather was in a little pink version of the dress too with her auburn hair clipped back out of her little face.

“Hey, Natalie. It’s nice to see you again,” Ali beamed, coming over and capturing me in a warm embrace. I know why Ross is with her; Alianna is one of the nicest girls in the world and is caring, and doesn’t care about the past. I don’t think she’s capable of hate, unless you’re a terrorist…

“It’s nice to see you too, Ali,” I replied, hugging her back.

“Jay, you remember Heather, don’t you?” Ross asked my son.

He shook his head “No.”

“No?” Ross rhetorically asked in disbelief. “Heather, do you remember Jay?” he asked her, kneeling down to be on the kid’s level.

She shook her head “No” also.

“I guess I’ll just have to go reacquaint the two while you two catch up,” Ali said, grabbing Heather’s hand in hers.

“You go play with Heather and Ali and be a good boy,” I told Jay and then nudged him to grab onto Ali’s outstretched hand.

“O-tay Mo-ma.”

I kissed his head once his hand latched onto Ali’s. “I love you, baby.”

“Now you two be good and I’ll come and check up on you later,” Ali winked at Ross and I, causing us both to look at one another and laugh out loud.

All five of us made our way to the backyard. Ali and the kids went to the far end of the yard to play on the playground and the grass, while Ross and I sat at the edge of the pool, our feet dangling in the water like old times, watching them run around happily.

Ross and I talked animatedly for a while until I dropped the bomb.

“Your brother came over yesterday.”

“What, you finally decided Shane had potential?”

“Shut up, you’re not funny,” I nudged him with my shoulder to scold him for joking at a time like this. “Your older brother came over yesterday.”

“Oh, I kinda forgot he existed.” I rolled my eyes at him. “So you really let him into the apartment?” he questioned, probably imagining that I would have, instead, called the police or dropped a piano on John’s head like in the cartoons.

“Yeah,” I nodded once. “He wanted to get to know Jay.”

Ross was in shock. His jaw dropped and he was staring at me. “And you actually gave in that easily?”

I shrugged. “I’m tired of fighting all the time. I need to stop acting like some defiant teenager.”

“Yeah, you do. You can be really annoying.”

I shoved his shoulder with my hand this time. “Anyway, they seemed to hit it off. It’s weird; Jay usually doesn’t get along with people right off the bat. He plays the ‘shy boy’ card, but with John he just went right into being himself,” I explained my son’s usual habits with strangers.

“He got along with me,” Ro stated.

“Because you’ve been around since the day he was born. He’s comfortable with you.”

He offered a sincere answer, “Maybe he’s comfortable with John because you guys were at the apartment.”

“Yeah… highly unlikely,” I was quick to disagree. “When the guys brought over some of their college buddies Jay was not a happy camper. He threw a dirty diaper at one of Ryan’s flings when they volunteered to babysit.”

He chuckled, “How long did that relationship last?”

“A total of two weeks. She stayed around for a few days after that event and then he cut the cord.”

“Ryan the ladies man, everyone!” Ross threw his arms up in the air and pretended to be shouting the statement out to the world.

“Oh god. I should really stop letting him babysit. Who knows how my son’s going to turn out in the future!”

“With his DNA, Jay is definitely going to be a ladies man,” he said surely. “I mean, look at me! I’m sex on a stick right here.”

I busted out laughing. “Oh my god, Ro, never ever say that again!”

“But you got to admit that he’s got awesome DNA.”

“I never said I didn’t believe it.”

“Then admit it.” He narrowed his eyes at me in a challenging nature.

“Never!” I countered. “Oh, and speaking of DNA,” I continued with our previous conversation, “Jay thinks you and John are brothers because you look alike.”

This time Ross’s mouth was left agape for a few long seconds. “He doesn’t.”

“He does. I swear to god that kid is a genius.”

“What did he say?” Ross was looking at his feet as he kicked them in the water. I could tell that he was worried for everything I’ve set up since Jay came to be.

“That John looks like you and you two could be brothers,” I told him truthfully. “And then he said he wanted a brother.”

Ross laughed at that. “And what’d you say?”

“I laughed at him and told him to wait.” I didn’t dare mention anything to do with a permanent father, since that would open up a whole can of worms between Justin and John.

The tone in Ross’ voice changed suddenly, “So what are you going to do?”

“Wait until he forgets about it I guess,” I shrugged. I honestly had no idea what else there was too do. This life is far too complicated right now and trying to explain everything to an almost-three-year-old would just mess it up further – and I don’t want Jay to lose any of his innocence. “The only good thing is that he doesn’t have that wide of an attention span yet.”

He rolled his eyes and smirked at my insult. “That’s nice.”

“I made him, I can insult him. It’s all in good fun anyway.”

Again he turned the conversation back around to seriousness. “What about John?”

“I – I honestly have no idea.” I looked down at the water and didn’t know what to say to him. Anything concerning John was a complete mindfuck to me. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Ro. I think I’m just going to take this one-day at a time, ya know. They’re good together, and I can’t stop John so I’m pretty much screwed because I definitely don’t want to go to court.”

He shook his head and smiled. I gave him a look like he was crazy. “I think the only person who could be more stubborn than you is John. I’m afraid for Jay now.”

“You’re not funny,” I scolded him.

“I think that you and John should take Jay and slide down a rainbow and frolic in a field with Care-Bears and put aside your stubborn differences to make Jay’s life a hell of a lot easier.” Solid advice, Ro, really; because life is that simple…

I rolled my eyes at his comment, “If only life was that simple.”

“Hey, you said it yourself that you’d rather not fight anymore,” he was offended and wagged a finger at me for me close-minded and not willing.

“Yeah, but he broke my heart, Ro. I can’t trust him. As much as I would love for everything to be Care-Bears and rainbows again, I won’t let myself.” I know it seems like that’s my excuse for everything because it sort of is, but that’s because it’s one hundred percent correct. I cannot trust John because after all we’ve been through, after all he knew about me and how fragile I was and unwilling to trust, he just went around a stomped over my heart the only time I actually ever gave it away fully.

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” he said, “If you’re on your guard you won’t fall for his O’Callaghan charm again.”

“And what about Justin?” It was inevitable; he had to come up eventually. He’s too much of a key fixture in both me and Jay’s lives not to be considered.

“Justin is your own problem. I can’t help you there. It’s your decision whether or not you want to raise Jay with him.”

I sighed, defeated. “I just want life to be simple.” I rested my head on Ro’s shoulder and watched as Jay came running over at full speed with Heather and Ali on his tail.

“As do I,” he agreed with me. “But if life was simple, where would the fun be?”

“Next to the free booze.”

Ross laughed.

When Jay finally was in earshot of us he yelled breathlessly and happily, “Mo-ma Heather and I are gunna get married!”

“The O’Callaghan charm strikes again!” Ross said.

“Are you now?” I questioned my son incredulously.

He nodded his head up and down rapidly for a child, “Uh huh.”

“Is this true?” I asked Heather when she walked up and stood next to the boy.

Heather confirmed this with a nod of hear head.

I looked up at Ali, “Did you know that my son is getting married to your niece?”

“Is that what you two were doing? You were eloping?” She looked down at the kids when she asked, putting her hands on her hips in that gesture that adults tend to do when trying to be intimidating to children.

The two of them nodded their heads with sly smiles.

“Heather what is your mommy going to say about this?” Ali asked her niece.

Heather put her finger to her lips, signaling that we’re going to keep this a secret. Nobody has to know.

I questioned the pair next, “And where do you two plan on living once you’re married?”

“With Unky Ro!” Jay exclaimed, throwing his stout little arms up in the air for emphasis.

Ross decided to finally jump in; “Jay, do you have a job?”

He shook his head.

“What! No job?” Ross exclaimed, playing up the emphasis and tenacity. “How do you plan on supporting your family with no job, kiddo?”

“I dunno.”

“What about a car? Do you have a car, Jay?” he added in.

Jay looked down sheepishly, “No.”

Ross turned to Heather next, “Heather, do you have a car?”

She shook her head.

“How do you two plan on getting anywhere with no car and no money to buy a car?”

They shrugged.

“I think, as your housemate, that you two put off the marriage for a couple days until you’re financially stable,” Ross told him, his hand on his heart to show the two his sincerity. “And if you guys agree, I’ll take you out for ice-cream,” he added, knowing too well that he’d win this battle. Ice cream is kryptonite to toddlers. “Do we have a deal?”

“I like chocolate!” Jay exclaimed.

“Strawburry!” Heather followed.

Ross looked up at Ali and I with a smile. “I think we have a deal.”

Those two are going to be a whole lot of trouble in their teenage years.