Fall

Next Tuesday came by rather quickly. I left my boys at home like usual with little fussing from Justin and Jay – thank god. Sometimes I think Justin is clingier and acts more like a toddler than my actual toddler does.

Upon walking into Starbucks I noticed that my table was occupied. I went up to the counter so Cindy could make me my usual.

“Hey, Cind,” I greeted her with a smile.

“Hello, Natalie,” she greeted back before glancing over at my occupied table and grabbing a cup for my frapp. “He’s been here for about fifteen minutes,” she told me with a knowing smile, “I think he’s waiting for you.”

“Yeah… he is. I never expected him to show though,” I confessed softly to her.

“Oh, honey, the world works in mysterious ways. Just be glad he’s cute.”

I paid her and took my drink as I responded with a simple, “Yeah…”

I made my way over to the table, and weighed my options of turning around and leaving with every step closer I took. Unfortunately for me, John turned around and greeted me with a big, toothy smile and a sweet, “Hey, you finally made it.”

“Yeah, I usually get here about this time,” I responded, taking the seat across from him, my usual chair or preference.

“How was your weekend?” he asked simply to make conversation.

“It was pretty good,” I said with a nod of my head before going into description of why it was a “pretty good” weekend. “I worked a bunch of double shifts. Took some photos. And – yeah, that’s about it,” I started to conclude before remembering, “Oh, I also wrote a paper for my Lit class and I’m working on finishing my Business portfolio.” I stopped myself from going further into detail with a sip of my coffee, in order to let him get a word in. I could talk days on end about my life and the things I’ve been getting into – seriously.

“Double shifts?” he questioned with a confused look adorning his sun kissed freckled face.

“Yeah, I work at Denny’s part-time,” I told him, adding in that, “A co-worker went on vacation so I filled in for her because I can really use the money.”

“That’s cool, the guys and I went for lunch at Denny’s on Friday. I’m surprised we didn’t see you there,” he said and then took a sip of his coffee.

I shrugged, “You must’ve just missed my shift.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he agreed half heartedly, taking another sip. “So photography, huh? You’ve gone all hipster on me?”

“Yeah – no. I just do it for fun now,” I lightly explained myself with a small chuckle, “I really don’t plan on making a living out of it – though it did come in handy for my Business portfolio.”

“What’s the portfolio on?”

“Oh – um,” I was a little taken aback; I didn’t expect him to pick up on that, or ask about it for that matter. It was school, and John O’Callaghan avoided anything that had to do with school at all costs. “I’m the manager for My Girl Friday.”

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah, just for now though,” I started to ramble. “Once I’m done with the class and the guys start touring full-time I’m going to pass my torch off to someone with the time and patience.”

“Oh, come on now, you’re good with that stuff,” he told me confidently. “That – that business management like stuff. And the guys love you,” he added, talking about the My Girl Friday crew. “Hell, go ahead and pass that torch off and come manage our band; Tim doesn’t do shit, and all the guys miss you,” he joked, throwing his hands up in the air for emphasis.

“I miss them too.”

“You should come and hang out with us sometime while we’re back home,” he offered sincerely, For old time’s sake.”

“I – I can’t,” I stuttered out. “I’m just too busy.”

He smiled an enchanting smile and tried coaxing me into agreeing to his offer, “I’m sure the boss and your boys won’t mind if you take a night off.”

“I can’t, John, sorry. Not until I’m done with school and life and everything.”

“I’ll take that as a reign check,” he winked, taking another sip.

I decided to change the topic to him instead, “So how was your weekend?”

“It was a typical weekend.”

“Booze and boys?”

“You know it, girlfrand!” he said, doing it in his best gay man voice that he could muster up on the spot. We both had a nice chuckle over the cracking of his voice and his ability to actually sound gay.

“So, the band’s getting big…” I changed the subject once again before the awkward silence could settle in.

“I wouldn’t say big, but there are a lot more kids coming out to our shows now,” he tried to correct me.

“Well that’s always helpful,” I rolled my eyes at him. “Without the kids you’d just be singing to Moose.”

“And LB,” he added with a wag on his long index finger.

“Yes, Aaron, how soon I forget about that boy,” I said, playing along.

“Well it isn’t that hard to,” John laughed to himself. “We sometimes forget to pack him in Laverne before heading off to the next venue.”

I questioned with a raise of an eyebrow, “Laverne?”

“Our van.”

“Why in God’s name would you name your van?” I questioned once more. “Laverne though?” I was still a little shocked by the name. “Where did you guys even come up with that name?”

“I think Garrett or Kenny named it actually….”

“You let them name your baby?”

He shrugged, “I did have much of a choice.”

“Do you still prefer to be the one driving?” I asked, totally off topic.

“But of course,” he replied like what I asked was a stupid question. “I like to be in control,” he winked at me.

I shook my head and took a sip of my frapp, “So immature.”

“You used to be in love with this sexy frame of immaturity,” he leaned back and gestured to his long, skinny frame.

“Yeah, well, that was then.”

The awkward silence finally over took us and left both John and I to awkwardly sip and stir at our drinks.

John was the one to break the silence. “Where have you been staying since you moved out of mom’s place,” he asked.

“Oh,” his question was one that I wasn’t expecting, but I didn’t blame him for wondering; I was living in his parents’ house for a little over a year. I was staring down at my cup, twirling the straw back and forth in the plastic cup container, “Um, I moved in with Justin and Ryan.”

“Are you and Justin…” John asked, letting his sentence trail off without an ending. Luckily for him I knew what he was asking about.

“We’re not together,” I told him, and his green eyes looked a little more happy – hopeful. “Well not officially,” I backtracked, “We just never felt the need to put a label on us; it would have made things messy.” I didn’t realized that I just almost slipped up by nearly bringing Jay up in casual conversation, and John picked up on the fact that some vital information was missing.

His eyebrows furrowed together and he was confused as to what I meant. “What do ya mean?” he asked confusion obviously present throughout his features.

“Nothing,” I tried to disregard his question. “Nev – nevermind.”

He thankfully dropped that subject and moved onto asking, “What else have you been up to besides school and work?”

“Nothing really,” I told his as I gnawed on my straw. “My life is a constant bore in the form of a standard repetitive routine.”

“That was beautiful,” he mused. His elbow rested on the table, and his head was in his hand as he gazed as me oddly from the other end of the small circular table. “Say it again,” he requested with a bat of his eyes and an attempted seductive tone.

I could only shake my head and roll my eyes at his crazy request. The insecure little girl in me figured that he was just making fun of my choice of words. “What’ve you been up to, then?” I changed the subject this time.

“Writing songs,” he shrugged. Then added, “We want to get a new album out come next summer.”

“Cause scribbling down a bunch of words on paper is so abnormal for you, That’s good though. You guys are great,” I told him. “How’d Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop do?” I wondered out loud.

“It’s been on AP’s number one record for about a year now.”

“That’s great, John, really!” I was excited for him – for them. I was so happy for him that I reached my hand across the table and grabbed his hand in my own. He looked shocked by my gesture because he jolted a little bit in his chair and then stared at my hand on his for a moment. Just about when he was going to place his other hand above mine so that his large hands were cradling my smaller one, I pulled my hand away and back to its place in my lap.

Again, just like I did when I mentioned my living and being with Justin, I saw that small glint of sadness pass over John’s features for a moment.

“I’m surprised you even knew the name of the record,” he said to me, referring to Can’t Stop.

My jaw just nearly dropped. I couldn’t believe that he’d think so poorly of me and my support for him and the guys. “Just because I’m not in with the band anymore doesn’t mean that I’m not educated in the current pop punk scene,” I retorted. “You forget that I manage a band trying to get into this industry.”

“What’s your favorite song?” he questioned randomly with curiosity.

“Don’t have one,” I told him, “All of your songs are satisfactory.”

“Thanks?”

“That’s a compliment, John. Take it.”

He put his arms up in the air, surrendering. “I wasn’t trashing it.”

I called him out, “But you were skeptical of it.”

“Well, yeah, you called my children satisfactory,” he stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world with a hint of hurt in his tone.

I looked at him like he was crazy for a moment, and then questioned, “Children?”

“Yes,” he said very calmly. “Those songs are practically our children. We made them and then watched them grow into the beloved singles they are today,” he leaned back in his chair like he proved his point.

“So you have twelve children?”

“Yup,” he confirmed my statement. Then he brought out his corky side with raising eyebrows and a sly smirk, “I’m a busy boy.”

“Who’s their mother, or do they have different ones?”

“Jared,” he said confidently. “He’s my primary conception partner.”

“Good to know. I hope he reciprocates those feelings.”

“Oh he better or I’ll beat his ginger ass.”

“Now, now,” I scolded him. With our little bickering it brought me back to those ancient days when I first started to spend my summers in Arizona and those little encounters and random conversations we used to have while watching the sunset. Those days that I miss so much, though I wouldn’t go back and change the past for anything. I love where I am. I love my son. And I love everything I’m starting to become.

“Just satisfactory, huh?” he went back to the root of this conversation, trying to get me to change my answer previously.

I drew in a breath. “They’re good, really, they are,” I told him seriously from the bottom of my heart. “But they all just kind of sound the same, and have the same theme any everything. I would’ve liked there to be a little diversity in the message and lyrical content,” I added from a critic’s point of view. “Your voice is great though, very soothing,” I reassured him, knowing that he didn’t actually care about my thoughts on the music, but of what I thought about him.

“I’m glad you approve,” he nodded. “You should come out and see us next time we play a home show.”

“Maybe. If I have time and nothing else going on.”

“I’ll add that to the list of rain checks,” he said, taking the napkin on the table and pretending to write it down. He looked up at me with his enchanting green eyes and signature half smile, and at that moment I swear my heart must have melted against my will. “That’s two so far,” he noted, his eyes locking with my own.

“Well,” I shrugged, “No promises. I’m a very busy woman,” I mocked him with the latter.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, so I took it out to check it, making sure that nothing happened to Jay.

As I started to open the message John started to ask, “Hey, you wanna go catch a movie or grab a bite or something?”

I heard him faintly ask as I read the text message.

Come home early. Ryan’s out with Addie and they took Jay. We have the home to ourselves ;)

I felt a smile creep up on my face as I thought about the upcoming evening.

John pulled me out of my own little world when he asked, “Who’s that?”

“I gotta go,” I told him, and then started getting my things together.

He looked up at me from that seat in which he’s been placed in for the past 90 minutes, his eyes displaying a hurt emotion. “Justin?” he asked, though he already knew the answer.

“Yeah,” I confirmed with a small and hasty nod as I swallowed the saliva that was building up from my new feeling of nervousness and regret for leaving John in the dust right now. “He wants to go out tonight. So I better get home and get ready,” I told him with a reassuring smirk to hopefully bring up both of our spirits.

“Okay,” he replied, standing up as well. “So I’ll see you Thursday?”

I threw my purse over my shoulder and gave him a smirk, “I’ll be here, like usual.”

“Good,” he looked down at me and strutted his signature smirk which held and composed his radiating confidence. “Just making sure.”

“Okay. Well, bye,” I said with a small wave and then bolted out of there.

“See ya, Nattie,” I heard John say behind me as I fled to my car.