The Heart Of the Raven

I try to remember to calm my breathing. It's a bright and shiny morning. It's May 12th, I inhaled the sweet scent of spring air coming from outside of my open window. Then it was getting hard for me to breathe. Raina shares a room with me and her bed is right next to mine. A nightstand in between our beds. She woke up to the sound of me wheezing. She shook me awake and said "Raven,time to get up." I fluttered my tired eyes open and said "Please Raina help me up. And get me my breathing mask. I think I am going to need it for a moment." She opened the curtains that were out of control from the wind and said "Sun shine helps." SHe grabbed my mask and helped me sit up. She handed it to me and I said "Thank you. Raina I'm sorry you are stuck trying to help me." She sat down next to me and rubbed my back and said "Oh Raven,It's not your fault. And I actually don't mind helping you. Your my twin. I am not stuck helping you, I help you because I want to. You don't think you're living here all your life do you?" I smiled and said "I thought I was going to." SHe laughed and said "No silly! Mom and Dad won't live forever and when I move out I want to take you with me so I can take care of you." I hugged her and said "Rain,you are the best sister ever. I can't thank you enough. You and Cody and Kyle and our friends has taken care of me all our lives. I'm just waiting to die." She hugged me close and cried on me and said "Keep fighting." "I'll try." We got up and I took my mask off and we walked to the kitchen table and ate breakfast. Cody came running in with Kyle and Kayla and he kissed my forehead and said "How are you this fine morning?" We laughed and I said "Well same as every morning. Fighting." He patted me on the back and said " That's my girl!" When we got to school I walked past everyone in the hall to see Donna and Alice and Raina. They smiled at me. Then their pretty smiles faded when they saw me look pale. Donna asked "Rave,are you feeling well?" I smiled and nodded a fake nod. When we got to class I sat down and my enemy Klyde Corfman smiled and laughed at me. He said to all my classes "Well if it is the walking zombie! Still haven't dropped dead I see." Everyone except Raina and my friends laughed. When the teacher started teaching we all listened. She was done teaching and asked us questions about uncompleted dreams we have. Then she asked me "What is your biggest dream,Raven?" I smiled and said shyly "I love to dance. I love ballet. I've always wanted to be a professional at Juliard or something." I was interupted by Klyde as he said out loud "Ha you become a major star dancer! HA! You can't do it! Only us who have hearts can Dance. Unlike you who will die probably tomorrow. You will never complete that dream. Your to damn weak!" I couldn't believe it as everyone laughed. The teacher then said "Klyde! That was un called for!" I started to cry as I gathered my things and said "I do have a heart. It's just broken! I'm not afraid to dream! I know it will never come true because you're right I am going to die!" I ran out of the class crying with Raina,Donna,Alice behind me. Once I left the classroom Kyle was in the room across the hall and saw me walking and crying. He ran up to his teacher and said "Uh that's my very ill sister. Please let me check on her!" The teacher nodded and he ran out of class. He yelled "Raina! What's going on?" It all echoed in my head what Raina was saying. I felt dizzy and lightheaded. My life was flashing as I heard "She looks like she's needs to go to the hospital again! Klyde tortured her again and caused her to breakdown." "What are we going to do.?" Then the bell rang. Everyone surrounded the halls. I felt so sick and then I felt a stabbing pain in my chest. It was my heart again. I coughed and coughed. I coughed up blood and everyone swarmed me. Raina yelled "Donna call 911!" Raina and Kyle standed next to me. Then I couldn't breathe at all again. My lips turned blue. My eyes were bloodshot and I couldnt handle it. I felt myself leaving as I smacked into the hard ground and was surrounded by darkness. I heard soft voices that were loud and yelled "She had another heart attack!" The school watched the ambulance rush away. I woke up. I was on a machine. I had tears in my eyes and I said weakly "Am I...am I dead?" Raina said softly "No. You almost did die though." She hugged me tight. Cody came in with Kyle and held me tight. Kayla and My parents came in. The swarmed around me to. My mom and dad said "Are you Okay?" I cried "No! I keep getting close to death! I don't want to die!" They left for the night. Raina stayed the night. She went on a dinner break at 8pm. As I laid in bed I felt hopeless. Then a boy knocked on my door. He was carrying an IV and was pail as a ghost and was skinny. He looked at me with sad blue eyes and was bald. He then said "I'm sorry to bother you. I just want someone to talk to. I am very lonely. I smiled and said "Come in. What's your name?" He smiled and sat on the side of my bed and said "I'm Michael. What's yours?" i smiled and said "Raven. I'm 17. "Me to." I asked him "Why are you in the hospital?" He looked down and said "I have type 3 Leukemia. I keep getting it back. this is my 9th time having it. How about you Raven?" I looked down and said "I don't have cancer but I have severe heart problems. I had them since I was a baby. I had a heart attack today. I always have heart attacks. I was supposed to die when I was three. I don't know why I am still alive." He put a hand on my shoulder and said "God wants you here." I hugged him and said "I wish I can fall in love but I don't want to because I would hurt the person i love when I die." "I know how that feels. I'm luckily going to survive this time even though I have type 3." "It's good to talk to someone who understands." He smiled then hugged me good night when a nurse came in and said it was time he had to leave. I liked Michael. He understood me. I got out in two days. I went home and just laid there. I left my eyes closed. Raina came in and said worriedly "Raven! Raven!" I opened my eyes and said "What?" She sighed in relief and said "Oh I thought you died for a moment. What are you doing?" I waved her over to my bedside and she sat down and I said "I was waiting to die actually." Raina hugged me and said "Don't die I need you!" I smiled and said "Okay." One day the doctor called. He said "Bring Raven up immediatly." I went up there and I was in the room alone. They readmitted me to the hospital and I said "But I'm didn't have a heart attack!?" He then settled me down and he said "Now Raven. I found a way to cure your heart problems!" I smiled and said "What!!" He laughed and said "I found a donor who will give you his heart!" My smile faded and I said "Forget it doc. My parents don't have the money." He then said "We have to or else you will die. We took some test and you will die when you are at least 20." I cried and said "What am i going to do?" He then said "Fight." The nurse came in and I asked "Please let me talk to my dear friend Michael. The nurse led me to his room. His eyes lit up. "Raven! Come on in!" We went to the entertainent room and watched Tv. That night at the hospital they were holding a dance for the patients. Mike asked me "Raven will you go with me?" I smiled "Yes." He dressed in a tux. I wore a really pretty strapless gown that was floor length and black. It was gorgeous. We walked into the cafeteria and danced. We slow danced to a song and then we held hands and went outside into the Garden of dreams. It was full of flowers and had a fountain and a White Gazabo. He led me to it and we danced in the Gazabo. Then we kissed. he annouced to em while stroking my hair "I love you,Raven. and guess what!" I smiled "What?" "I am clean of cancer! i got it removed and it will never come again." I smiled and hugged him. he went to my school which was perfect. Then he said "Now I can be with you! Be my Girlfriend. Please." I smiled then cried and said "But I am not free. I will die when I am 20 I've been told." He held me close and said "What do they know they thought you were going to die at age 3." I smiled and said "The only way I can survive is a heart transplant. I don't have money for that." He said "We can make it work. I promise." I smiled and nodded and said "Okay. Yes I will be your girlfriend." He hugged me close. We had a talent show at our school. We went to it. I was in it. Mike was in the crowd. I was doing Pointe Ballet. I took lessons for awhile and quit when i was recommened by my doctor when i was 15. I didn't care I danced the night away along time ago why can't I now. i did so perfect until I felt sick again while dancing. i did a big spin jump and I smacked on the ground. My family and Mike ran on the stage and they felt for a pulse. I had no pulse. Then again i was rushed to the hospital. I was dead for about an hour until they finally saved me. I opened my eyes and started crying. I said out loud as Raina stroked my hair I said "i guess Klyde was right. I can't dance anymore." Raina crawled underneath blankets with me and laid down and slept the hole night holding my hand. I woke up with her hand in mine still. She woke up stroking my hair. She kissed my forehead and said "I love you Sis." I tried to smile and said weakly "I love you to." SHe looked at me and said "Are you okay?" I faked a smile and said "Yes Im great."When I actually wasn't. I felt sick. Then I felt nauseated as I said to Raina "Raina Bucket now!" SHe retreived me my bucket and I started vomitting blood into the bucket. Raina jumped out of bed and was looking at me and said "Call the nurse button!" I fumbled to press it as I started to shake unstoppable and my eyes rolled to the back of my skull. I was choking and having a seizure due to my bad heart. I foamed from the mouth and blood poured out. The doctors ran in and then grabbed a bag valve and breathing tube and started the paddles up and was pumping air into my lungs. My heart stopped and I stopped breathing. I wanted to die. Who would want to ever live this life. Raina stayed in the room the whole time crying and she was scared. Mike was in the waiting room as he heard doctors and paddles and the heart monitor and stuff. He put his head down and closed his eyes and said "Please. Stop this from happening. WHy is this happening." The doctor rushed through the waiting room and had blood smeared everywhere and my parents looked worried as then the doctor said "We need to do immediate heart surgery." They took a scalpal and cut me open. They notice something in my heart. My whole life I've had a little peice of glass in my heart. Glass from the window from the accident shaddered everywhere and went into my moms stomach into my heart. It was killing me. It would take away some pain now but I was still going to die soon. They saved me for a little. Nothing changes anything. I blinked my eyes open a week after surgery. I was in a coma for a week. I had a breathing machine on me. I wanted to go back to school so I went back the next week. I was in a wheel chair so the stitches can heal. I also needed a breathing machine so I was able to breathe. Donna,Alice,Raina,Kyle walked everywhere with me when they could. Cody after school had alone time to be with me. I love visiting the park. Nature is the beautifulest thing ever. He walked next to my wheel chair and brought a radio cd player with him. He played my favorite song in a meadow and scooped me out of my chair and held me in his arms dancing with me he said "You can dance if you really want to." I smiled and felt like flying.