Sequel: Upwards ›
Frontwards
Even split.
Friday 9th February, 2006.
It’s a good job I’m used to getting up early in the morning because everybody else is completely useless. Well, I say I’m used to it but in actuality it has been several weeks since I was last conscious before sunrise. But still. That was because I had a choice. If needs be, I am quite capable of full
mental function by 6am.
“Gerard, come on,” I said in what I like to think was a stern voice. In addition to this, I was poking him in the ribs but I think the duvet got the brunt of the impact. Oh well. “Gerard. Gerarrrrd.” I tried shaking him but still no movement.
“You may as well be talking to a plastic bag,” Mikey muttered from behind me, rubbing his hand over his gaunt face. In his other hand he was cradling a cup of coffee as if it were the only thing in the world that mattered right now. The Ways are quite dependent on the substance.
I glared behind my shoulder at the younger brother, because he was being thoroughly unhelpful. “Your only sibling could be dead, Mikey, and all you care about is that damn coffee.” Hey, I never said I had the capacity to be nice at this hour.
Mikey looked a little startled for a second, but then just shrugged and left the room. I cast a despairing look at the spot he had been standing in. Enough is enough is enough.
“Right,” I said decidedly, standing from my crouching position beside Gerard’s face and shaking my head. “Gerard, I’m sorry but you really leave me no choice. And it’s such a shame to wake you , as you look oh so beautiful when you are sleeping. Nevertheless.” With all of my force I threw myself on top of him, straddling his torso as he jumped and wriggled in the shock of being awoken in such an undignified manner. “GET THE FUCK UP, WAY.”
“I’m up!” he murmured sleepily. “I’m fucking up, okay?”
I gave him a slap around the face anyway. For good measure.
“What the fuck are you doing, you devil woman?” he croaked indignantly, and he looked at me with wild eyes. It was all too much and I started to laugh and then Gerard started to laugh and then Ray walked in to see me on top of Gerard, both giggling our asses off.
“Do I need to tell Frank about this?” he smirked, stepping across the dingy room to offer me his hand. What a gentleman.
With Ray’s help, I heaved myself off of the bed, took some deep breaths, and calmed down. “It was a last resort,” I informed him. “Are you ready?”
“Affirmative,” Ray replied, saluting me.
“Good. Gerard, we’re leaving in five minutes. There’s coffee on the bus.”
I left the room as Gerard was mumbling something or another to himself. My rational mind tells me it was most likely something expletive towards me but I didn’t much care. I had other things to be thinking about.
So the bus slowly filled with bodies: 5 caffeinated musicians, 2 exhausted girlfriends, 1 unfriendly driver, 1 demanding manager, 1 helpless foetus. I headed straight for the sofas. If I wasn’t so tired, I would probably have been really excited about being on an actual tour bus. I’d have been impressed, I’m sure. I would have demanded a tour of the vessel. But as it was, I could barely even stand up. All of sudden all of the energy in me had just drained away into nothingness and I felt like I could sleep forever.
I leant my head on Frank’s chest and closed my eyes. He wrapped his arm across my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “Want to go to bed, babe?” he asked.
I nodded and before I knew it I was standing up and slowly being led to a bunk bed behind a thick curtain. “This is a tour bus bedroom,” Frank told me. “Nothing fancy, but the mattresses are comfy as hell.”
I nodded again, but I could feel my eyes dropping as I did so. “I’m just going to have a power nap,” I said as I crawled into the bottom bunk, but I don’t know who I was trying to convince. My eyes were already closed.
A second later, I felt Frank on the mattress next to me, and then a second after that, I was asleep.
I woke up with the strangest rattling feeling in the pit of my stomach. It took me about a heartbeat to remember that I was on a bus so it didn’t just feel like I was moving – I was actually moving. No sooner had I come to this realisation than Frank stirred from beside me. I turned to face him.
“Morning,” I smiled, although fuck knows what time it actually was.
“Hey,” he replied, planting a soft kiss on my lips. “Sleep well?”
I nodded. “Like a baby,” I said. Then I thought how stupid that idiom is because babies don’t sleep well at all. They piss themselves and kick around and wake up crying every 2 hours. And we have all of that to look forward to. Marvellous.
Frank closed his eyes again and nuzzled into my neck. It tickled but it was lovely. “Speaking of babies,” he said quietly, “what do you think we’re having?”
I hadn’t really considered this. Which is a very weird thing, isn’t it? To have never even wondered what you were going to give birth to. It could be a goddamn puppy for all I know. What the hell kind of person doesn’t think about these things? Good lord, perhaps I am a sociopath. That would explain a lot. “I don’t really know,” I replied, keeping all the rest of my crazy to myself.
“I think it’s a boy,” he said casually. Like it wasn’t a massive deal. Maybe it wasn’t to him. Who the fuck knows anymore.
“You do?” I asked. “How come?”
I felt him shrug. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want it to be a boy?”
He considered this for a moment, and then shrugged again. “It doesn’t matter, does it?”
I didn’t say anything for a second because I was thinking too much. I guess it doesn’t matter. It’s still our baby. Whether it’s a boy or a girl. Whether it’s straight or gay, ugly or beautiful, black or white. Well actually I kind of hope it is white. Not because I’m racist or anything, it’s just that otherwise there will be some uncomfortable questions raised. Questions that I won't have any logical answer to.
“If it is a boy, I’m going to make sure he’s an absolute little dude,” he said. “He’s gonna be awesome.”
“And if it’s a girl?” I asked with a smile.
“If it’s a girl, I’m going to spoil her fucking rotten,” Frank replied. “She’ll be my little fucking princess.” Most likely with an absolute sailor mouth when you look at her parents. “No boy will ever be good enough for her.”
“Are you going to yell at her for wearing short skirts, and give her a 9pm curfew?” I laughed.
“Fuck yeah I am,” Frank chuckled. “I can’t wait to be one of those embarrassing parents.”
“Are you kidding? How can ‘daddy the rockstar’ be an embarrassment? ‘Mummy the socially-inept weirdo’ will be all the embarrassment they’re gonna need.”
“Socially-inept MILF,” Frank corrected me. “Kid’s gonna be so fucked up.”
Well there’s one thing we can agree on.
“I’m telling you, it’s a boy,” Alice said confidently, throwing her cards down. Quite literally. We had been trying to play when this whole discussion came about and the civilised, relaxed evening game of Go Fish had now apparently been all but forgotten. “I can tell.”
“Bullshit,” Mikey laughed, climbing back up onto the corner-sofa from where he had been sitting on the floor. He put his arm around his girlfriend. “How can you tell?”
Alice glared at him. “I just can. I’m always right with these things.” Of course I didn’t believe her. It all comes down to basic law of averages. Everything can be boiled down to statistics, kids. Fate and horoscopes and sixth-senses are all a grand myth. It’s maths that defines us.
Gerard shook his head. “I still think it’s a girl.”
So far we had an even split: Frank, Alice and Ray were positive it would be a boy, and Gerard, Mikey and Bob had their money on girl. Like, I’m not even shitting you, they were betting on it. A hundred dollars each on what would pop out of me. Bastards.
“What about you, Daisy?” Ray pressed. “You must know. Mother’s instinct or some shit.”
Sorry, Ray, but there is not an ounce of mother’s instinct flowing through these veins. “I don’t know!” I told them for the last time. “I guess we’ll find out in like, a month.”
Frank cocked his head to one side. “You want to find out?”
Oh god, what have I done now? I froze. “Um,” I said slowly. “I don’t know. Don’t you?”
“No,” he said firmly. “I want a surprise. Don’t you?”
I shrugged. “Sure. Whatever. Sorry guys, you’ll have to wait a little longer.”
Frank was still giving me a weird look but I tried to ignore it because it was making me feel uncomfortable. Like he thought I was the shittiest future mother in the world because I couldn’t guess what I was going to give birth to. Sometimes I think it would be easier if it was a fucking puppy.
It’s a good job I’m used to getting up early in the morning because everybody else is completely useless. Well, I say I’m used to it but in actuality it has been several weeks since I was last conscious before sunrise. But still. That was because I had a choice. If needs be, I am quite capable of full
mental function by 6am.
“Gerard, come on,” I said in what I like to think was a stern voice. In addition to this, I was poking him in the ribs but I think the duvet got the brunt of the impact. Oh well. “Gerard. Gerarrrrd.” I tried shaking him but still no movement.
“You may as well be talking to a plastic bag,” Mikey muttered from behind me, rubbing his hand over his gaunt face. In his other hand he was cradling a cup of coffee as if it were the only thing in the world that mattered right now. The Ways are quite dependent on the substance.
I glared behind my shoulder at the younger brother, because he was being thoroughly unhelpful. “Your only sibling could be dead, Mikey, and all you care about is that damn coffee.” Hey, I never said I had the capacity to be nice at this hour.
Mikey looked a little startled for a second, but then just shrugged and left the room. I cast a despairing look at the spot he had been standing in. Enough is enough is enough.
“Right,” I said decidedly, standing from my crouching position beside Gerard’s face and shaking my head. “Gerard, I’m sorry but you really leave me no choice. And it’s such a shame to wake you , as you look oh so beautiful when you are sleeping. Nevertheless.” With all of my force I threw myself on top of him, straddling his torso as he jumped and wriggled in the shock of being awoken in such an undignified manner. “GET THE FUCK UP, WAY.”
“I’m up!” he murmured sleepily. “I’m fucking up, okay?”
I gave him a slap around the face anyway. For good measure.
“What the fuck are you doing, you devil woman?” he croaked indignantly, and he looked at me with wild eyes. It was all too much and I started to laugh and then Gerard started to laugh and then Ray walked in to see me on top of Gerard, both giggling our asses off.
“Do I need to tell Frank about this?” he smirked, stepping across the dingy room to offer me his hand. What a gentleman.
With Ray’s help, I heaved myself off of the bed, took some deep breaths, and calmed down. “It was a last resort,” I informed him. “Are you ready?”
“Affirmative,” Ray replied, saluting me.
“Good. Gerard, we’re leaving in five minutes. There’s coffee on the bus.”
I left the room as Gerard was mumbling something or another to himself. My rational mind tells me it was most likely something expletive towards me but I didn’t much care. I had other things to be thinking about.
So the bus slowly filled with bodies: 5 caffeinated musicians, 2 exhausted girlfriends, 1 unfriendly driver, 1 demanding manager, 1 helpless foetus. I headed straight for the sofas. If I wasn’t so tired, I would probably have been really excited about being on an actual tour bus. I’d have been impressed, I’m sure. I would have demanded a tour of the vessel. But as it was, I could barely even stand up. All of sudden all of the energy in me had just drained away into nothingness and I felt like I could sleep forever.
I leant my head on Frank’s chest and closed my eyes. He wrapped his arm across my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “Want to go to bed, babe?” he asked.
I nodded and before I knew it I was standing up and slowly being led to a bunk bed behind a thick curtain. “This is a tour bus bedroom,” Frank told me. “Nothing fancy, but the mattresses are comfy as hell.”
I nodded again, but I could feel my eyes dropping as I did so. “I’m just going to have a power nap,” I said as I crawled into the bottom bunk, but I don’t know who I was trying to convince. My eyes were already closed.
A second later, I felt Frank on the mattress next to me, and then a second after that, I was asleep.
________________________________________________
I woke up with the strangest rattling feeling in the pit of my stomach. It took me about a heartbeat to remember that I was on a bus so it didn’t just feel like I was moving – I was actually moving. No sooner had I come to this realisation than Frank stirred from beside me. I turned to face him.
“Morning,” I smiled, although fuck knows what time it actually was.
“Hey,” he replied, planting a soft kiss on my lips. “Sleep well?”
I nodded. “Like a baby,” I said. Then I thought how stupid that idiom is because babies don’t sleep well at all. They piss themselves and kick around and wake up crying every 2 hours. And we have all of that to look forward to. Marvellous.
Frank closed his eyes again and nuzzled into my neck. It tickled but it was lovely. “Speaking of babies,” he said quietly, “what do you think we’re having?”
I hadn’t really considered this. Which is a very weird thing, isn’t it? To have never even wondered what you were going to give birth to. It could be a goddamn puppy for all I know. What the hell kind of person doesn’t think about these things? Good lord, perhaps I am a sociopath. That would explain a lot. “I don’t really know,” I replied, keeping all the rest of my crazy to myself.
“I think it’s a boy,” he said casually. Like it wasn’t a massive deal. Maybe it wasn’t to him. Who the fuck knows anymore.
“You do?” I asked. “How come?”
I felt him shrug. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want it to be a boy?”
He considered this for a moment, and then shrugged again. “It doesn’t matter, does it?”
I didn’t say anything for a second because I was thinking too much. I guess it doesn’t matter. It’s still our baby. Whether it’s a boy or a girl. Whether it’s straight or gay, ugly or beautiful, black or white. Well actually I kind of hope it is white. Not because I’m racist or anything, it’s just that otherwise there will be some uncomfortable questions raised. Questions that I won't have any logical answer to.
“If it is a boy, I’m going to make sure he’s an absolute little dude,” he said. “He’s gonna be awesome.”
“And if it’s a girl?” I asked with a smile.
“If it’s a girl, I’m going to spoil her fucking rotten,” Frank replied. “She’ll be my little fucking princess.” Most likely with an absolute sailor mouth when you look at her parents. “No boy will ever be good enough for her.”
“Are you going to yell at her for wearing short skirts, and give her a 9pm curfew?” I laughed.
“Fuck yeah I am,” Frank chuckled. “I can’t wait to be one of those embarrassing parents.”
“Are you kidding? How can ‘daddy the rockstar’ be an embarrassment? ‘Mummy the socially-inept weirdo’ will be all the embarrassment they’re gonna need.”
“Socially-inept MILF,” Frank corrected me. “Kid’s gonna be so fucked up.”
Well there’s one thing we can agree on.
________________________________________________
“I’m telling you, it’s a boy,” Alice said confidently, throwing her cards down. Quite literally. We had been trying to play when this whole discussion came about and the civilised, relaxed evening game of Go Fish had now apparently been all but forgotten. “I can tell.”
“Bullshit,” Mikey laughed, climbing back up onto the corner-sofa from where he had been sitting on the floor. He put his arm around his girlfriend. “How can you tell?”
Alice glared at him. “I just can. I’m always right with these things.” Of course I didn’t believe her. It all comes down to basic law of averages. Everything can be boiled down to statistics, kids. Fate and horoscopes and sixth-senses are all a grand myth. It’s maths that defines us.
Gerard shook his head. “I still think it’s a girl.”
So far we had an even split: Frank, Alice and Ray were positive it would be a boy, and Gerard, Mikey and Bob had their money on girl. Like, I’m not even shitting you, they were betting on it. A hundred dollars each on what would pop out of me. Bastards.
“What about you, Daisy?” Ray pressed. “You must know. Mother’s instinct or some shit.”
Sorry, Ray, but there is not an ounce of mother’s instinct flowing through these veins. “I don’t know!” I told them for the last time. “I guess we’ll find out in like, a month.”
Frank cocked his head to one side. “You want to find out?”
Oh god, what have I done now? I froze. “Um,” I said slowly. “I don’t know. Don’t you?”
“No,” he said firmly. “I want a surprise. Don’t you?”
I shrugged. “Sure. Whatever. Sorry guys, you’ll have to wait a little longer.”
Frank was still giving me a weird look but I tried to ignore it because it was making me feel uncomfortable. Like he thought I was the shittiest future mother in the world because I couldn’t guess what I was going to give birth to. Sometimes I think it would be easier if it was a fucking puppy.