Frontwards

Saturday 18th February, 2006

The guys had a ‘secret show’ tonight somewhere in LA, but I’m not really sure what that means. Surely if they don’t tell anybody about the show then nobody will turn up? Or am I just missing the point? I don’t know. I didn’t want to ask and make an idiot of myself.

So anyway, Alice and I tagged along for their secret show and settled down backstage. It felt weird to be backstage again after 3 and a half months but there you go.

“So you two are okay again now?” Alice asked quietly as the guys were soundchecking on stage.

I sighed and made a vague shrugging gesture. “I guess,” I said passively. “I mean, I’m still pissed off with him for not telling me, but what can you do.”

Alice nodded knowingly. “I think he thought it was best not to tell you,” she said. “Like he would be stirring things up. Obviously he didn’t know what she would do about it.”

Just as a quick aside, I’m happy to inform you that fucking Kristy has been replaced by a lovely gay chap named Mark. He’s just adorable. Although perhaps just as likely to hit on my fiancé. Better keep my eye on him, he is quite the charmer.

Anyway, I was all for trying to forgive and forget but I told myself (and also Frank) that this was his last chance. Any more lies and secrets and that would be it. I mean, I hadn’t figured out what ‘it’ actually was because it’s not as if I have anywhere else to go in this damn country and I’d be pretty lost on my own but you know what I mean. So Frank was on best behaviour but I was still allowed to be kind of pissed off with him.

So back to tonight. For a secret show, it apparently was not so secret. The venue was only tiny but it was packed full of fans and they were all buzzing to see their favourite band. It was so bizarre to just be watching them getting so excited about seeing the five bell-ends I hang around with every day.

Finally 9pm swung by and it was time for their set to start. Frank gave me a quick kiss before they headed out. Mikey did the same with Alice. Gerard kissed Ray because he was feeling left out (much to poor Ray’s surprise) and Bob made a gagging sound. And then there were on stage.

“Good evening, Los Angeles,” Gerard smirked as he grabbed the microphone and sat down on a little stool that had been provided for him. It’s like he becomes a different person in front of a crowd. I mean, he’s a total nutjob all the time, don’t get me wrong. But when he has a microphone he just steps out of his own shadow. He becomes a more extreme version of himself, I suppose. Louder and cockier and crazier. It’s really fascinating to watch.

“We are My Chemical Romance,” he announced, rather unnecessarily I thought, “and we are here to play a very special show for you tonight.” The crowd roared and Gerard grinned, feeding off their energy. “You, my friends,” he continued, “are very lucky because tonight, here in LA, we are playing a unique acoustic show, for your ears only.”

Once again the crowd were going mad and because there were only around 200 people, as opposed to the usual thousand or something crazy, you could more or less hear every single person. It was amazing to hear it as we peeped from behind the curtain.

Frank and Ray were sitting on amps with acoustic guitars, while Bob and Mikey took their usual positions. I was looking forward to hearing them acoustic. As, apparently, was everybody else.

Frank started a couple of chords and I tried to keep up with him mentally. I have been practising my guitar skills for a little bit every day and they’re coming along quite nicely I think. Or at least that’s what Frank tells me but he’s probably just being nice.

Anyway the songs began and they sounded great. I was surprised how good they were, considering they had only decided this morning to make their set acoustic. After four hours practice, here we were. It was a great set and the crowd were obviously loving it.

“Oh, you’re very kind,” Gerard grinned as they were being applauded for their fifth song, Helena. Yeah I know all the songs and shit now. In fact I can even play Helena on the guitar. Well I can play Frank’s part anyway. But still.

From the back of the room you could hear a girl shout, “I love you Gerard!”

“And I love you, random girl in the crowd,” he replied with a chuckle and I couldn’t help but laugh. “But I want to get serious for a moment, if I may. My good friend and damn fine guitarist, the lovely Mr. Iero has recently become engaged to be married.”

The crowd’s reaction to this was mixed at best. There were a few groans from disappointed horny teenage girls, but quite a few cheers of congratulations as well, which I suppose was nice. Comforting to know that not everybody hated me.

“It’s true,” Frank said from his microphone. “I made a baby in her and everything.”

Some more cheers and laughter. Alice was giggling along next to me but I was mostly concerned with being scared that I would be asked onto the stage because I am not a fan of being on stages at all. Last time was a school play aged 9 when I was a sheep in the nativity play and forgot my one line which was, simply, “God told Mary that she would carry his child,” and without which the whole play made very little sense. They carried on with me just stood there dumbstruck, but I felt that the audience were probably lost in the plot without that vital piece of information. Oh well.

“Frank here would like to take over singing for just a moment,” Gerard continued, “so that he can serenade his lovely wife-to-be.”

Oh god, I’m about to get serenaded. I’ve never been serenaded before and as such I had no idea what the etiquette is so I just stood there awkwardly behind the wings and waited.

Frank was smiling as he tuned his guitar and whatnot. Finally, he was ready. “This is a song by Bright Eyes,” he announced, “and it’s called First Day of My Life.”

I actually knew this song. In fact, I loved this song. Kate went through a phase (after the breakdown of her last relationship) where she would play it all the time and mope around the house crying. But despite that, I really got to enjoy it. It’s a beautiful song. And it was being sung by my fiancé, just for me, in front of our best friends and a room full of strangers.

What a very strange and absolutely wonderful experience.

“You can’t stay mad at him now, you know,” Alice smirked from beside me.

Shit, she’s right. It’s so fucking difficult to be angry with him when he’s so darn cute.

Frank turned towards me as he sang, “I think I was blind before I met you,” and he had a sheepish grin on his face that I just couldn’t help but laugh at.

I mouthed the word ‘dork’ and then, for good measure, I added ‘I love you’ and in the break between the verse and chorus he mouthed it right back at me.



Sunday 17th February, 2006

And we're headed back to wintery Jersey.

Goodbye, California. I will miss you.

Frank and I pretty much stayed in our tour-bus bed the whole day, chatting and messing around and kissing and talking about stuff. We were back on baby names again.

“If it’s a boy,” Frank said wistfully, “and it will be.” I rolled my eyes. “Can I call him Frank?”

“I’m not having a Frank Junior Junior,” I sighed. “This is not the TV show Friends, this is our child.”

Frank muttered something incoherent and sulked. “Well, what about Francis?”

“Francis is a girl’s name,” I said. Really I was just thinking of this girl I lived with at university called Frances who was super hot and every single guy I ever knew fell in love with her. The bitch.

“God you’re picky,” he mumbled. “Okay, how about Rambo?”

“Well now you’re just being silly.”

Frank huffed some more and shuffled around from our spooning position so that we were face to face. “What about girl’s names?” he asked. “Thought of any?”

I shrugged. “Not many,” I replied. “Although I have ruled out Kristy.”

Frank gave a nervous laugh like he wasn’t quite sure if he was allowed to find that funny. I let it go.

“I quite like flowery names,” I said vaguely. “Like Poppy or Lily or something. But I’m already a flowery name so I don’t know if that would be too cheesy.”

Frank smiled and pulled me closer into his chest. “I wouldn’t mind having two flower girls,” he grinned. “Although it’s pretty irrelevant anyway because it’s going to be a boy.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “I guess we’ll see in six weeks,” I said, but I knew I was right really.