Sequel: Upwards ›
Frontwards
Every day, forever.
Wednesday, 28th March, 2006.
Frank called today to tell me he loves me and misses me. Soon we’ll be able to be together every day, he reminded me. No more long periods of absence. Just him and me forever.
Thursday, 29th March, 2006.
Frank called again. Every time I speak to him, his voice sounds sadder and sadder. But I’m not sure if that’s just the delusions of a guilty conscience.
Do I really want to be the person responsible for ruining his life? Will I be able to cope knowing that every time my husband looks at me, he’s thinking about what he’s given up? Can I live knowing I’m the reason for the void in his life?
Fuck.
Friday, 30th March, 2006.
It would be so easy to take Frank’s car and just drive away. He could stay in the band and I could... I don’t know what I could do. Start again. Let him live his real life.
Saturday, 31st March, 2006.
Every time I go to tell Alice how crazy I’m going, something comes up and I back out. I’m not sure she’ll understand. Nobody else does.
Even Kate, the only person in this world who has known me for my whole life, has no idea why I’m getting so stressed out about this.
Am I a freak for even thinking about it this much?
I really don’t think I can cope anymore.
Monday, 2nd April, 2006.
I’ve made my decision.
I’m leaving tonight.
Frank called today to tell me he loves me and misses me. Soon we’ll be able to be together every day, he reminded me. No more long periods of absence. Just him and me forever.
Thursday, 29th March, 2006.
Frank called again. Every time I speak to him, his voice sounds sadder and sadder. But I’m not sure if that’s just the delusions of a guilty conscience.
Do I really want to be the person responsible for ruining his life? Will I be able to cope knowing that every time my husband looks at me, he’s thinking about what he’s given up? Can I live knowing I’m the reason for the void in his life?
Fuck.
Friday, 30th March, 2006.
It would be so easy to take Frank’s car and just drive away. He could stay in the band and I could... I don’t know what I could do. Start again. Let him live his real life.
Saturday, 31st March, 2006.
Every time I go to tell Alice how crazy I’m going, something comes up and I back out. I’m not sure she’ll understand. Nobody else does.
Even Kate, the only person in this world who has known me for my whole life, has no idea why I’m getting so stressed out about this.
Am I a freak for even thinking about it this much?
I really don’t think I can cope anymore.
Monday, 2nd April, 2006.
I’ve made my decision.
I’m leaving tonight.