Boy Crush

The dance was great. After a few more songs, we went out to the back porch. All against the gate were couples making out. A few were on the floor. Zeke walked pass by them and led me to the tree. He gestured his hand for me to sit down, I did.

"So." Zeke began. "It's a nice night." he looked up at the dark night. A few stars were visible and the full moon. He brought his gaze down to me.

"Is it hard? For people to know that you're. . ." I couldn't bring myself to say the word.

"Gay." he finished my sentence. I flinched lightly at the word and nodded. "No. I like the attention." He chuckled. "I couldn't see myself acting like I like girls. I didn't want to be a lair." I'm a lair. "Is it hard to be in the closet?"

"Yes." I didn't know what else to say. I didn't know how to explain why it was hard.

"It's hard because," he began, "you have no one to talk to but the same two people that know. It's hard because if your close friends find out by rumors, they won't trust you anymore. What makes it harder is that you know your parents won't accept you."

There was a pause. Not just from him but from the world. I didn't hear the music, I couldn't feel the ground vibrating, I couldn't see past the darkness. I was lost in thought. He was right. It is hard. If Mark, my guy best friend, finds out by Angie or Tina, he might think I don't trust him. If I told my parents, they'd probably not understand.

"Do your parents know?" I asked him.

"Yea. They were the first few to know."

"How did you tell them?"

"Well, me and my friend were in my living room. We were playing cops and robbers. This is when I was like, ten. I was the robber and he was the cop. I was running away from him, it was part of the game. He caught up to me, grabbed me by my hands and pulled me over to the wall in the hall way.

"He asked me if I had weapons and I said know. He still fake searched me. When I felt his hands touch my stomach, I felt like I wanted to sneak into the kitchen and take the last chocolate cake slice just for him. I turned around to see him and I kissed him on the cheek. Little did I know that my mom was watching.

"The next day she asked me why I did that and I told her: Isn't that what you do to the person you like? A couple years later, I told her what I was and she broke down crying. Apparently, she wasn't a good mother because she didn't realize it before. I told her, no matter what, you're a great mother if you accept me."

His words stayed in my head. The imagery played over and over in front of me. I was about to ask him something else, but sirens held me back.

From over the house was flashing red and blue lights. Cars screeched to a stop on the street. The sirens didn't stop whaling. Everyone in the back yard scattered back inside the house.

Zeke got up and grabbed my hand. His pull took me to the wall behind the tree. He climbed a few branches of the tree and sat on top of the wall. He waited for me to fallow.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked me.

"We'll get into more trouble."

"Let me guess, you've never done anything that get's your adrenalin going, huh?"

"Well, in tennis-" He cut me off. His hand was a few inches away from me.

"Come on," he flashed his teeth in a smile, "be a rebel with me."