Boy Crush

Zeke was great. He didn't care who was watching us hold hands. We got up on the bus, dropped the change and he held me by my hand as we passed the few people in the bus. I went to sit at the back of the bus, it was alone, we could be alone. Because as much confidence he had, I felt shy and a bit intimidated as the passengers in front, a boy and a girl, kissed away happily.

I sat by the window, he sat next to me. His hand held mine below us, resting together on the seat. I looked out the window. This side of the city was covered in big houses. And the houses that were a single story looked better than anything. There was no writing on the sidewalk, no trash gathered on the curb.

I took a glance at Zeke, his eyes were fixed on the window also. When he saw me looking at him, his eyes fixed on mine. His face was emotionless; eyebrows evenly spread out, mouth still as ever, specially his eyes, they never moved away from mine. What was he thinking about. He didn't give off anger, but not happiness either.

"What are you. . ." I hesitated. He knew I wanted to say something. I couldn't not finish the question. "What are you thinking about?"

His eyes moved from mine to my features. I could tell he was noticing the fact that I wanted to smile. He inhaled deeply and replied, "About you." His tone was calm, steady, seductive even. But not robotic. Again, he let out no emotion.

"I'm thinking about," he continued, "how I don't want this moment to end. About how you make me feel inside. Warm but not sexual, thoughtful but not boring, in a trance. . .but not forced. I'm thinking about how strong you are against me without knowing it. If you asked me to jump off a cliff, I'd do it, just so your demands are met." He paused and kissed me on my cheek. "What are you thinking about?"

"I don't know. You take me away from here, away from the bad and the good. I can't think of anything when you're here with me." I chuckled to myself softly. "You make me poetic."

---

We got to the hospital in time. The sun was out, but the air was chilling my body. Zeke had his arm around my shoulders. He handed me his sweater, it smelled like him, Old Spice.

The hospital was huge. The side of it had the parking lot. In front was a field with a path that led to a statue, which was in the center of the field. The statue looked like a white rocked shaped into the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus. The path continued behind it to the main building from the five buildings.

The buildings were very sharped angled, arcs over the entrance, bridges at the very top connecting the buildings. The main color was dark green and navy blue. But white spots here and there.

We walked into the building, the circulation desk was at the back, it was brown. Between the desk and Zeke and I were rows of Blue chairs, all connected. I felt Zeke's hand drop from my shoulder.

A few people were in here; an elderly woman dressed in black reading a bible, a man and a child running around, and my mom and sister at the very back. From far, I could see the tear stains from their red eyes. A felt a lump in my throat, seeing them both like that.

My mom stood up as she saw me. She was still shorter than me. Her outfit was a loose dress and a beige, grandma sweater. Her hair was a mess, let alone her make-up-less face. Her expression was holding back something, fear. . .tears?

My sister looked nothing like my mom, except for the blond hair. Valery, my sister, had jean booty-shorts and a neon green, sleeve-less tank-top. She looked at me with droopy eyes, then saw Zeke and her fluttered her eyes a bit. Slut.

"What's wrong?" I asked my mom.

"You dad has cancer. the doctors confirmed it. They said its too late, he has a couple of weeks." her voice was raspy, I could hear her throat choke up, but not one tear escaped. She sniffed back the boogers and fluttered her eyes to stop the tears. "Who's your friend?"

"Zeke." I pulled Zeke by his shoulder closer to my mom. I stepped on the other side of him and stood between him and Valery. "Zeke, this my mom and my sister." I didn't face Valery, but he did.

"We were just waiting for you so the doctor could talk to us. He said we could bring friends that are willing to help with us getting through this." Valery said. As she spoke, she never took her eyes away from Zeke. "Are you coming with us?" She asked him.

My mom pulled me away from them. She led me to the doors that opened to a hall, a long hall. Valery and Zeke were behind us. I couldn't hear what they were saying. But that didn't matter, my dad had cancer. it doesn't make sense, he's one of the healthiest people I know. Oh, I forgot, God forbid a good person go unpunished for just to see if his faith is strong.

That's crap! innocent people should have cancer, no one should. I grabbed my mom's arm, my vision got blurry, tears began rolling down my face.

Zeke appeared at my side. Valery was on the other side of my mom. I felt a tug on my pinky. Zeke was holding it lightly, away from my mom's sight.