Status: On Hold.
I Am...
One
I'll never forget the last time I saw my mother. It was over five years ago, but I still remember it as if it were yesterday. I close my eyes, playing the scene back in my head.
"Bye mom, I'm going out with a friend" I zipped out the door before she could answer. I walked to my "friends" car and got in the passengers seat. "Hey baby" I greeted Abby. "You look gorgeous" She said in response. I blushed as she began driving us to the restaurant. We'd been together for almost a year now, but she still made me blush every time she complimented me. She still gave me butterflies in the bottom of my stomach every single time she touched me. I was hopelessly in love with her. My mother didn't know, though. My mother couldn't know. She was the most homophobic woman I have ever met and I shuddered at the thought of what would happen if she ever found out.
After dinner Abby and I headed to the beach. To our spot. This was always my favorite part of our nights. No matter what we did we would go to our spot before she took me home. It felt so amazing to just lay here and forget about everyone and everything. I must have drifted off because next thing I know I'm being shaken awake by Abby. "Come on baby, it's almost eleven." I jumped up and half ran to the car, pulling her along behind me. My curfew was eleven fifteen and mom was pretty strict about it. We pulled up at my house with five minutes to spare.
I looked quickly to make sure mom wasn't looking out the window before kissing Abby. It started out soft, but it quickly got heated. I started to climb on top of her, but jumped back when the porch light turned on. "Shit, she knows I'm home" I told her. I knew mom was probably looking so I gave her a quick, friendly looking hug before bending down to pick up my purse. "I love you" She whispered. "I love you too baby" I told her, letting her hand slide out of my grip as I opened the door. I waved as Abby drove off before opening the door and going inside. It was strangely quiet. "Mom" I called out "Mom?"
My mother stomped out. She looked pissed. Oh god. I hope she didn't see. Please please please have not seen. I looked down at the ground, waiting for the yelling to begin. Suddenly I felt a burning sensation on my cheek. She had slapped me. Tears began to well up in my eyes and suddenly I knew that she'd seen. "I saw you with that fucking girl" She said. "That fucking nasty dyke. Practically fucking in her car for the whole world to see" "Look I'm a lesbian. I can't hide it anymore and I don't want to hide it anymore. Mom...please" I begged "I love her. She's a great girl please." She looked more pissed than I'd ever seen her in her life. "THIS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING" She screamed at me "I will not have a nasty dyke living in my house." She grabbed me by my hair and began dragging me down the hallway. She released me outside of my bedroom door, slapping me in the face as she did so. "You have five minutes to pack your shit. Then I want you out of this house." She shoved me into the room and slammed the door behind me.
I knew she was waiting outside for me, making sure I only had exactly five minutes to pack. I wasted no time, grabbing a large duffel bag from my suit case and stuffing clothes into it. I filled that bag completely and grabbed another bag. I opened my secret floorboard hidden under my throw rug and flung all of its contents into the bag. Finally I grabbed a few books I cared about and put those in the bag too. The door banged open. "Your five minutes are over bitch" She grabbed my bags, charging down the hallway. As she threw them outside, I saw that it had started to rain. "Mom please don't do this. Please I'll do anything" She responded by grabbing me by the hair and flinging me outside in the rain. The door slammed shut behind me, leaving me alone in the cold dark world.
"Hey honey" I was pulled out of my own memory. Ariana was home from work. She came over and I kissed her cheek. "Long day?" I asked her. "Too long" She replied, flinging herself down on the couch. "Are your bags all packed for tomorrow?" She asked me. Tomorrow? Oh yeah, we were going to her parents house for Christmas. How could I have forgotten? "No, but I'll do it soon." "So, I was thinking" Ariana started "My parents only live an hour away from Scottsdale" I knew what she was thinking before she even said another word. "We could" "No" I interrupted her. In the three years we had been together, Ariana had never once met anyone in my family. There was no one to meet.
After all, I am the girl who got kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
"Bye mom, I'm going out with a friend" I zipped out the door before she could answer. I walked to my "friends" car and got in the passengers seat. "Hey baby" I greeted Abby. "You look gorgeous" She said in response. I blushed as she began driving us to the restaurant. We'd been together for almost a year now, but she still made me blush every time she complimented me. She still gave me butterflies in the bottom of my stomach every single time she touched me. I was hopelessly in love with her. My mother didn't know, though. My mother couldn't know. She was the most homophobic woman I have ever met and I shuddered at the thought of what would happen if she ever found out.
After dinner Abby and I headed to the beach. To our spot. This was always my favorite part of our nights. No matter what we did we would go to our spot before she took me home. It felt so amazing to just lay here and forget about everyone and everything. I must have drifted off because next thing I know I'm being shaken awake by Abby. "Come on baby, it's almost eleven." I jumped up and half ran to the car, pulling her along behind me. My curfew was eleven fifteen and mom was pretty strict about it. We pulled up at my house with five minutes to spare.
I looked quickly to make sure mom wasn't looking out the window before kissing Abby. It started out soft, but it quickly got heated. I started to climb on top of her, but jumped back when the porch light turned on. "Shit, she knows I'm home" I told her. I knew mom was probably looking so I gave her a quick, friendly looking hug before bending down to pick up my purse. "I love you" She whispered. "I love you too baby" I told her, letting her hand slide out of my grip as I opened the door. I waved as Abby drove off before opening the door and going inside. It was strangely quiet. "Mom" I called out "Mom?"
My mother stomped out. She looked pissed. Oh god. I hope she didn't see. Please please please have not seen. I looked down at the ground, waiting for the yelling to begin. Suddenly I felt a burning sensation on my cheek. She had slapped me. Tears began to well up in my eyes and suddenly I knew that she'd seen. "I saw you with that fucking girl" She said. "That fucking nasty dyke. Practically fucking in her car for the whole world to see" "Look I'm a lesbian. I can't hide it anymore and I don't want to hide it anymore. Mom...please" I begged "I love her. She's a great girl please." She looked more pissed than I'd ever seen her in her life. "THIS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING" She screamed at me "I will not have a nasty dyke living in my house." She grabbed me by my hair and began dragging me down the hallway. She released me outside of my bedroom door, slapping me in the face as she did so. "You have five minutes to pack your shit. Then I want you out of this house." She shoved me into the room and slammed the door behind me.
I knew she was waiting outside for me, making sure I only had exactly five minutes to pack. I wasted no time, grabbing a large duffel bag from my suit case and stuffing clothes into it. I filled that bag completely and grabbed another bag. I opened my secret floorboard hidden under my throw rug and flung all of its contents into the bag. Finally I grabbed a few books I cared about and put those in the bag too. The door banged open. "Your five minutes are over bitch" She grabbed my bags, charging down the hallway. As she threw them outside, I saw that it had started to rain. "Mom please don't do this. Please I'll do anything" She responded by grabbing me by the hair and flinging me outside in the rain. The door slammed shut behind me, leaving me alone in the cold dark world.
"Hey honey" I was pulled out of my own memory. Ariana was home from work. She came over and I kissed her cheek. "Long day?" I asked her. "Too long" She replied, flinging herself down on the couch. "Are your bags all packed for tomorrow?" She asked me. Tomorrow? Oh yeah, we were going to her parents house for Christmas. How could I have forgotten? "No, but I'll do it soon." "So, I was thinking" Ariana started "My parents only live an hour away from Scottsdale" I knew what she was thinking before she even said another word. "We could" "No" I interrupted her. In the three years we had been together, Ariana had never once met anyone in my family. There was no one to meet.
After all, I am the girl who got kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.