Bad Boys & True Love

“You know what?” I said when we started our way out of the school parking lot. “I’m not hungry for Tony’s.”

“Well...what are you hungry for then?” he replied, giving me a side-glance.

I pretended to contemplate my choices. Truthfully, I felt like I could go a solid decade without ever eating again. Being nervous like this did that do you, I guess. “How about we do something else.”

“Fine,” he agreed. “But for the love of all that’s holy, can we all least, like, get some McDonald’s before doing ‘something else.’”

I giggled. “Yeah. Fine. I think about the ‘something else’ while we do, because my mind is dead blank right now.”

Sean smiled. I couldn’t not smile back. I don’t know if he was just the sort of person with an infectious smile, or if I was just that nuts about him that I was completely past the point of controlling myself. I’m thinking both.

We headed to McDonald’s--how romantic. Actually, all sarcasm aside, I was definitely on cloud nine, even as we sat in the drive thru. “We can go inside you know,” I teased him.

“Obviously you haven’t been inside there lately. It’s nauseating.” He cringed for affect.

“Nah, my mom doesn’t really like me eating food like this,” I admitted. “I mean, she can barely stand Tony’s--she about has a heart attack every time I try to take her there.”

Sean laughed. “That sounds like your mom. You’re lucky. I could eat straight out of the garbage, and my mom will ask me to save her a seat.”

“Aw, your mom’s great,” I said reassuringly. He gave me a smile. Ugh, that smile. Fatally perfect.

We pulled up to the drive thru. Seth got a Big Mac and I, like the picky kid I am, got chicken nuggets off the kids menu and a sprite. Oh, this was going to come back at me with vengeance at practice later, I just knew it.

Seth paid for my food. I thanked him, but he just said, “It’s only McDonald’s.” He didn’t understand how monumental it was for guys buying me food.

“So,” he said as he pulled out of the fastfood joint. He reached into the bag and stuffed a few fries into his mouth, and I did the same. “Have you decided where we’re going? Because I don’t think I’ll be able to drive around forever.”

“Alright, alright,” I said, “I was thinking the park. But instead of a picnic, we stuff our faces with fatty foods. You dig?”

“Yeah, totally,” he said happily. “Man, I haven’t been there in forever.”

“Me either.” I shoved more fries in my mouth and tried not to talk until I’d swallowed. “I’m too busy with ballet or Christina dragging me everywhere.”

“Wow, never making time for me? How insensitive,” he joked.

“I can!” I laughed. “Except you’re like Mr. Popular, so it’s not so easy to catch you with any freetime.”

“For you, I’ll make freetime,” he promised.

I nearly swooned. “Good.” I smiled hugely. “I’ll make freetime for you too.”

“Good.”

*

The park was way more beautiful than I remembered. And my memories were pretty great. The weather was great, sunny with a soft breeze, and there weren’t too many people around. We thought about finding ourselves a picnic table, but there were so many ducks and geese living in the park that they were either lounging on the tables or the tables were covering in bird shit.

We ended up just parking in the sun and sitting on the hood of his car. It was really nice. We just talked and eat the unhealthiest food ever created.

“I’m glad you’re so tiny,” Sean said, “because I’d never forgive you if you dented my hood.”

I laughed. “Screw you.”

“What?” he said, grinning. “That was a compliment. You’re like a little baby bird or something. But with really bright red hair. You’re a cardinal.”

“A baby bird?” I repeated. “Golly, Sean, you do know how to charm a girl.”

He laughed. “Yeah, screw you too.”

The park made Sean look more beautiful than usual. In the sun, his hair looked practically white. And his eyes--oh, his eyes--they were light blue now, not the deep navy that I was used to. They almost matched the sky. It was heartbreaking. For a second I almost plucked up the courage to tell him how gorgeous he looked. But I could hardly talk to an angel.

I blushed when I realized I’d been staring at him. Then I blushed even harder because I realized he’d been staring back.

Sean leaned forward, getting way closer than I was used to, and I panicked. I practically fell off his car to get away from the treacherous trap that was his lips. I jumped off quickly before I injured myself. “Um, I, um, think I should be getting back home. So, um, I can get, you know, ready.” Wow, I was oozing confidence.

Sean blinked, acting like I hadn’t made a fool of myself to avoid getting caught up with my emotions. “You’re probably right.” He slid off the hood smoothly, embarrassing me further, and got in the car.

I got into the passanger seat, clutching the McDonald’s bag that held our trash.

“You know, there’s a trash bin over there,” Sean said, a reluctant smile on his face, as he pointed it out for me.

“Oh. Right.” I got back out of the car and threw away our trash before running back. My face felt like it was on fire. If I kept this up then I’d be red-faced permanently.

We drove back. It was almost completely silent in the car, except for the radio playing softly. It was a very annoying pop song that would normally make me want to pull my hair out in clumps. “I need to make you a CD,” I decided quietly. I hadn’t meant to actually say that outloud, but it was out before I could stop it.

“That’d be nice,” Sean replied, equally quiet.

“Also,” I started, excruciatingly nervous again, “I’m sorry about, um, you know.”

“So is he your boyfriend?” Sean said bluntly.

“I don’t know,” I said. I sounded like I was pleading with him. “Maybe. It’s just really confusing for me right now.”

Sean’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t look angry. He looked sad. That made me sadder than I could have ever imagined. “That’s not good enough for me,” he mumbled.

I chewed on my lip. I could feel tears starting to pool in my eyes, which was beyond ridiculous. “I know. I understand. I really like you.”

Sean tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “But you like him too?”

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“Well maybe he’s okay with open relationships, but I’m not,” Sean said firmly.

“I’m not either,” I swore. “I like him, okay? But I like you more. I honestly, full-heartedly do.”

Sean paused. “I don’t get why you ever even looked in his direction,” he mumbled almost inaudibly. “He’s like not you. You’re better than that.”

“I’m sorry,” I squeaked.

“Don’t be sorry,” Sean said. His voice was strong again. “Please. I’m sorry I made you sad. I don’t want to fight with you or anything.”

We were almost to my house. I bet my mom was getting ready to text Christina to ask her to bring me home so I could get ready. She would probably be pleased to see that Sean would be the one dropping me off.

“I don’t want to fight with you either,” I replied. “So let’s not, okay? I had a fun time today.”

Sean cracked a weak smile. “Me too. Maybe I could pick you up from the dance studio and we can go to my house and watch a movie?”

I smiled back, and his looked more genuine. “Maybe you can.”

“Maybe you’d stop torturing me,” he teased. I could have laughed. He had no idea.