Even Lovers Drown

Davy watched Blake's retreating figure till she was out of sight, making sure she didn't turn around and make another stupid decision. He should have stopped her when she first talked to Saylor. He knew he should have. But it wasn't his place to make Blake's decisions for her. She was a big girl. She could make her own decisions. Saylor, on the other hand, was too emotionally distraught to handle normal situations.

He looked at his sister, taking quick assessment. The color had drained from her face the moment Blake's hands struck the table and hadn't returned yet. Her hands shook, her eyes were wide. At any given moment, she would crumple to the floor and curl into the fetal position.

Blake did a number on her without realizing it. And Davy wasn't sure she would be okay for the soon-to-occur rush. He would have to switch her and one of the other merch girls if he couldn't get her to relax. And the only way to do that was to try consoling her, slowly talk her out of her condition.

"Decided not to take the girls' advice?" he asked.

"You know how I feel about her."

Saylor's voice rested on the border between mumble and whisper. She sounded so timid, so afraid. And the reaction wasn't Blake's fault, it was Katie's. Before Katie, Saylor would have told Blake off the moment she made a comment about how her behind looked in jeans. She wouldn't have been afraid of her hitting tables, wouldn't have backed down. She would have fought because that's who she used to be. But Katie had broken her.

"Saylor, she's not like Katie."

That statement meant nothing now. No argument could sway Saylor's opinion. Blake had to go and hit a table, make things that much more difficult. It wasn't like her to get that irritated. She was trying to get Saylor to look at her, talk to her, and she thought getting her angry was the only way. The remorse washed over her face once she saw Saylor's reaction, a look Davy hadn't seen on her face since high school. Scaring Saylor hadn't been part of her plan. Make her a little uncomfortable, get her to turn around and snap at her, have her realize that she wouldn't leave her alone, but not scare her.

Saylor took a deep breath, trying to force the images of Katie from her head. Did Davy honestly think she would believe him? Katie had started off hitting inanimate objects when she was angry, one of the many clues that Saylor should have left when she had the chance. Blake got irritated, she hit the table. Saylor knew what came next.

"I told you I don't want to hear it," Saylor mumbled.

Her voice gained a bit of strength. Not much, but it was getting there. She would be okay. If not by the time doors opened, then by the time the first act went on. Davy wouldn't have to force her to take the whole night off, nor would he need her to switch tables. He could handle their table on his own for awhile, enough time for her to calm down.

She was misunderstanding the situation, though. She hadn't seen Blake's face when she realized she was being ignored. He had seen that expression in high school. Once. Only once. Rejection and the depression that came with it.

"But you don't know her like I do," Davy insisted.

"I don't want to."

"She's my friend."

Was that supposed to help? Katie would have been his friend. She was capable of being anyone's friend. The charisma she exuded had been a shield for what lay beneath the surface. Katie's best friend hadn't known what she was capable of, still didn't. Even best friends could be kept in the dark.

"That doesn't change anything," Saylor said.

"Don't you trust my judgment?" Davy asked.

He wouldn't keep a friend like Katie, wouldn't push someone like that onto his sister. Saylor was too precious to him. He wanted her happy, he wanted her okay, he wanted her over this mess. And he would do what ever he could to help.

But, damn it, she annoyed him sometimes. Blake and Katie were not the same. Katie was a twisted human being, and Blake was putting up a front to protect herself. There was a difference. Saylor needed to open her eyes and see that.

"I trust mine better."

"No offence, but yours is a little screwed up." Davy clasped his hands over his mouth immediately. Why did he say that? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Attacking Saylor's mental state wasn't going to help anything. He was supposed to be on her side, available to talk without rude comments when she needed it, and he called her judgment screwed up. He wished he could take it back. "Saylor, I'm sorry."

Saylor's shoulders lifted in a small shrug. "It's alright."

She didn't seem to care. The comment did nothing to upset her, at least nothing that physically showed. She folded the last shirt in her pile, hands no longer shaking, complexion almost normal. What was going through her head was a mystery to him. Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal to her. But he crossed a line and he cared.

"No, it's not. You're hurting. I shouldn't go after you."

"You weren't going after me."

"What I said wasn't right."

She placed the folded shirt on its pile and turned to him. "Davy, I've been told worse."

Her skin was thicker than he thought. So she could handle little of what Blake said. That wasn't the same thing as Davy telling her something she said or thought was "screwed up." Blake was a woman, an immediate threat regardless of how she spoke to Saylor. The interest she showed in Saylor made her far more dangerous. Davy was a man, the gender that hadn't hurt her. His words didn't have the ability to sting as badly as Blake's. Plus, they were siblings. They had worse fights over toys.

Davy refrained from telling her that Katie had said far worse things to her than Blake did. Blake wasn't capable of using words with the intent to make her feel worthless, let alone doing the things Katie did to her. She was harmless aside from her seemingly insatiable sex drive. Yet Saylor saw her as Katie's equivalent.

"You don't deserve to be told those things. By me or by anyone else. You're worth more than that, Saylor."

"Some people would disagree."

"Well, those people don't matter."

"You forget I love one of 'those' people," Saylor mumbled.

He couldn't say all people who put her down didn't matter. She loved Katie, still did and always would. Katie would keep a special place in her memory, a place where Saylor tried to store the good times in their relationship despite the mass amount of bad memories she was left with. There had been some, like when Katie would cuddle with her and mumble apologies after a particularly bad fight. Katie wasn't inherently evil. She just had some bad qualities that could be changed. Her opinion mattered to Saylor, no matter how brutal it was.

But Saylor needed to condition herself out of believing Katie's comments. Her therapist tried to help her, pointed out the lies that Katie had told her to keep her around. The promises of change, the apologies, the snarky remarks, the insults. All lies that Saylor wasn't ready to accept as lies.

"Would you forget about Katie for a second?" Davy asked, not harsh, not demanding, more a plea.

Katie this, Katie that. Couldn't Katie disappear? Davy was getting tired of hearing about her and seeing the impact she had on his sister. She was miles away, living her life, separated from Saylor, but she was constantly in Saylor's head. Everything reminded her of Katie. Things would be fine if she could forget that woman existed.

"I can't and you know I can't. One year isn't enough to erase a three year relationship."

One year was a long time, and she had made a lot of progress in that time. She was better than she was when she first got out of the relationship. Regardless of what Davy thought, she had overcome some of the largest obstacles of breaking up with Katie.

Saylor understood Davy's frustration, though. He hadn't seen her in the beginning of her time away from Katie, didn't know how bad it had been. His friend was under a sort of attack, being compared to Saylor's ex at every turn, and he wasn't sure how to handle it. Saylor wasn't sure how he was supposed to handle it either.

"What's it going to take, three years, six years, twelve years? That's a long time to live in fear."

"It'll take however long it needs to take," Saylor said, putting an end to the conversation.

She slipped her phone out of her pocket, lighting the display and checking the time. About five minutes till doors opened. Just enough time to call her parents before the show started.

"I'm going to call mom and dad."

"Doors are about to open," Davy said, a weak warning.

"I'll be quick. Don't worry, I won't leave you here to fend for yourself."