Sequel: Happily Ever After
Status: Complete

Even Lovers Drown

Chapter 26

Music pumped lightly from the van's speakers, an intoxicating melody that had long since put Sarah and Jenny to sleep in the backseats. Davy held post in the driver's seat for the second night in a row, too hyped on coffee to go to sleep yet. Saylor watched him closely from the passenger seat. Though he promised to switch with Sarah halfway through the trip, she didn't want him drifting into sleep at the wheel. His energetic head bobs to the music and ability to mouth the words of the song proved that his energy level was still high enough for him to function.

"I love this song," Davy exclaimed.

"It's good." Saylor nodded. They had listened to the same band, CD after CD, since they departed, and, though she hadn’t learned the words or found out the band's name, she did come to one conclusion. "I like the lead singer's voice."

Davy's head movements came to an abrupt halt. "Do you know who this is?"

"Should I?"

It had been years since she listened to music. Katie called her favorite bands racquet, claimed they gave her a headache, and forced her to turn them off. Music never became the background drone to her wallowing in self-pity once she was away from Katie. Music wasn't a major part of her life. So how would she know what band was playing?

A dimple-exposing smile broke on his face, and he glanced at her, eyes shining with amusement. "It's Say Goodbye."

"Oh."

Maybe she should have known that. But she never actively listened to them while they performed. They were noise she blocked out while selling merch. She didn't think she would actually like them. That was partially because of her feelings towards Blake.

"You like Blake's voice," Davy said, laughter in his tone.

Saylor shook her head. "I didn't say that."

She hadn't known the lead singer of the once unknown band was Blake. The smooth alto voice that sang the words flawlessly hadn't made that connection in her mind. No face materialized in Saylor's head to match with the vocals she was hearing. She wouldn't have said anything had she known the mysterious vocalist was Blake. And now, she would deny ever saying it.

"Yes, you did."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"If I hadn't said anything, I bet you would have called her voice sexy."

She scoffed, "Yeah, if a dying cat is sexy."

Harsh? Maybe a little. She was so adamant about retracting her statement that she insulted Blake's voice, and she didn't understand why she cared enough to do that. Liking Blake's voice didn't mean she liked Blake. Her emotions were still a jumbled mess, but that didn't mean she could attack Blake's career, her passion.

"Well, if that's what you're into—"

Saylor cut him off, "It's not."

"You don't have to be ashamed. I'm sure there's a fetish group for that."

"Shut up, Davy."

He shrugged, amused smile remaining on his face. "Just saying."

Saylor rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, the conversation ending. Blake's skilled voice filled their silence, belting out lyrics in tones that made shivers threaten to travel down Saylor's spine. Her voice was delicious, not as anxiety-rising as her usual actions. Because there were no memories of Katie singing that Saylor's mind could latch onto. Blake should have sung her apology instead of getting Davy to let her leave a note in the U-haul.

"Why did you help her?" Saylor asked.

"What?" Davy returned.

"I know you helped Blake get the note into the U-haul. Why did you do that?"

"So you did find the note," Davy exclaimed.

Saylor hushed him. "You're going to wake Sarah and Jenny."

The pair of gossipy girls did not need to wake up and find out about the note. They would dissolve into chatter, repeating how sweet Blake was or how Saylor should forgive her. That wouldn't help Saylor at all.

"You lied to me," Davy whined.

"Alright, I lied," Saylor said, "But you knew the note was in there. You should have called me on it. Now, tell me why you helped her."

Sighing, he said, "I already told you that I think Blake will help you forget that woman."

"You mean Katie?"

"That woman," Davy ground out.

He didn't want to acknowledge Katie by name. Saylor understood. Katie may have been her girlfriend, the woman she had been in love with and still loved, but she had hurt Saylor. Davy was her big brother, her protector. He wasn't okay with anyone hurting her.

"You know I'm not ready, so why are you pushing her on me?"

"I'm not trying to."

She gave him a deadpan look. Was he serious? Of course he was trying to push the idea of Blake onto her. He was the one who suggested she sleep with her to feel better about herself and wanted to defend Blake's name anytime she upset Saylor.

"Yes, you are," Saylor said.

"Okay, I am," Davy admitted. "But she wants you and I feel so bad for her everytime she attempts to talk to you and ruins it. Blake's my friend. I want to see her happy, just like I want to see you happy."

"And you think I can make her happy?"

"Maybe."

How could she make Blake happy? She was broken, guarded, more work than Blake needed. She was healing, not stable enough for a relationship. That wasn't a recipe for happiness.

"I'm not strong enough to make someone else happy," Saylor said.

"Sometimes just having someone you like have feelings for you in return is enough."

"I can't force myself to have feelings for her."

"I know you can't, but you can open up, allow your heart to decide how it feels instead of denying it the opportunity."

"I guess," Saylor mumbled.

Easier said than done. Katie subconsciously pushed her way into Saylor's head every chance she got. Saylor couldn't stop the memories or control her reactions. And she couldn't open up with Katie on her mind.

"How did you feel about the note?" Davy asked.

"I don't know."

She hadn't been able to sift through her mix of emotions. She tried. Most of their time on the mind-numbing road had been spent thinking about the note, the chocolate, and Blake. Even during the concert, her thoughts drifted to them.

"It was a sweet note," Davy said.

Saylor nodded. "It was."

Katie or not, she couldn't deny that. Had it not been for the memories, her heart would have melted into a puddle in her ripped tennis shoes.

"So how don't you know how you felt?"

"I liked it until I thought of Katie."

"Is that why you didn't take the chocolate?"

"Yes."

There was no sense in lying to him about that. He figured it out on his own, possibly connected the dots the moment she said she didn't like caramel-filled chocolate to Blake. And he was probably the one who told Blake she liked caramel-filled chocolate in the first place.

"Saylor, you have to get over her. You can't keep letting her get in the way of your relationships."

"I know."

"You—Wait, you know?"

"I know Katie gets in the way. I'm not stupid. It's just hard, okay?"

She loved Katie, she did. She would always love Katie to some extent. But she did need to move on. Her therapist told her so in the beginning. She couldn't be happy until she managed to emotionally strengthen herself, and Katie was getting in the way of that.

"Try to let go a little," Davy said, "Just talk to Blake without snuffing her. That would be a huge accomplishment."

"It would be, wouldn't it?"

Talking to a woman around Katie's age who reminded her of Katie, that would be the biggest accomplishment she made since she started therapy. The possible confidence she would gain out of the encounter was tempting, and finding out if Blake's change wasn't a joke was even more appealing.

"If it makes you feel better, I'll give you a Klondike bar for talking to her."

Saylor laughed. An ice cream bar in exchange for talking to Blake. That may have been a good trade on a hot day. Lucky for Davy, they were touring during the summer time and working in obscenely hot conditions when outside. She might take him up on his offer.

Davy tapped his head. "Think about it."

"I'll consider it."

"That's my little sister," he said, a tinge of pride and success in his voice.
♠ ♠ ♠
Thank you to Tori the Elf, BeggingForChanges, SpencerG, Clik, and AnimeLove (commented twice).
And thank you any new subscribers.
There was a picture that reminded me of this story that I wanted to show you guys.
Hopefully it shows up.
Image
Even though Saylor is spelt "sailor" (like the word, not the name) and that's not exactly how I picture Blake, it's close enough.
I figured I'd share it with you.
I hope you enjoyed.
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xoxo
Dakota Ray