Sequel: Happily Ever After
Status: Complete

Even Lovers Drown

Chapter 30

Delight filled Blake, a broad smile taking over her face. Saylor asked her a question. Not a question that would incriminate her somehow or would be followed by Saylor telling her to get lost again, but a question that would continue the conversation Blake so awkwardly destroyed by saying "That's cool" to her declared love for Italian food. She didn't look completely comfortable asking the question but she was trying, breaking from her comfort zone to talk to Blake. And Blake couldn't have been happier.

"Mexican, definitely," Blake answered.

Saylor nodded and stabbed a few pasta noodles with her fork. "Mexican's okay," she said before shoving the food into her mouth.

Delicious flavors of the highly anticipated pasta bombarded her taste buds. The sauce, the noodles, the cheeses, and whatever herbs or spices the restaurant used to flavor the dish mixed together into a delectable flavor combination that left Saylor's tongue tingling. She held in a satisfied groan. Not even talking to Blake could ruin her first bite of Italian food in years. In fact, the pasta seemed to make the situation a little less daunting.

"Just okay?" Blake said, "Please tell me you can play an instrument."

"I can't."

Blake let her jaw drop in an overdramatic fashion, fake-shock at Saylor's answer. She couldn't say she didn't see the lack of musical talent coming. Davy had never made any mentioning of his sister being immersed in learning an instrument back in high school. Book-worm, straight A student, but never musician. And Saylor never seemed to care much about Say Goodbye's music during sound check. Music wasn't Saylor's priority and that was fine. Not everyone loved music the same way Blake and her band mates did.

"We're not compatible," Blake declared.

A smile pulled on the corners of Saylor's lips and a twinkle of amusement decorated her green eyes. Blake's overdramatic action and statement did just want she wanted them to: make Saylor comfortable. Saylor wasn't forcing the cute tweak of her lips, couldn't force the absolutely gorgeous glimmer it brought to her eyes. Blake refused to believe she was a talented actress when she couldn't hide her fear and discomfort a majority of the time. This was a comfortable conversation for Saylor, and Blake intended to keep it that way.

The mix of her delicious food and Blake's fake dramatics eased Saylor's nerves considerably. Blake wasn't claiming Saylor secretly wanted to sleep with her. The practiced charm that seemed to be Blake's default attitude wasn't there. She was joking, keeping the conversation lighter. And that was encouraging.

"You know, people may lie to you and tell you singing is playing an instrument, but it's not," Saylor teased.

"I'm a badass on the clarinet, thank you very much."

Giggles burst from Saylor's mouth, unable to be contained. Confident, attractive, lead-singer Blake played the clarinet. The mental picture was almost too much to bear. She was hardly the type Saylor expected on the clarinet. She immediately associated clarinets with high school marching band members that took their choice of after school activity too seriously and pushed their obsession to the border of being considered nerdy. While that didn't fit Blake's personality and to imagine it was laughable, Saylor liked the idea of that nerd hidden somewhere in Blake.

Blake's heart fluttered at the set of giggles. The lighting up of Saylor's face that accompanied the chiming sound seemed to capture her heart on the spot. Maybe Reese was onto something when he said Emily's laugh was what hooked him. Giggles and smiles added so much to a woman's face. They were attractive.

Or maybe Blake was so giddy by her first time making Saylor giggle that she found giggles obnoxiously gorgeous.

"The clarinet? Is that what all the famous rock stars play now?" Saylor asked, giggles decorating her sultry voice.

"My fans come to shows just to hear my clarinet solos."

"I'm sure your fantastic clarinet solos are what make groupies flock to you."

"Yeah, they make—wait, what?"

A spike of fear stabbed Saylor's stomach. She shouldn't have said that. Assuming Blake's various pastimes included loose women was one thing, but saying it out loud, joking or not, would make Blake angry.

"I, um, uh," she stuttered, "Don't you, um, get a lot of groupies?"

Curiosity colored Blake's blue eyes. Her smile didn't leave her face, the slight crinkle to her nose remained. She tilted her head. Anger wasn't present. No where on Blake's face was the warning that Saylor should shut up before she explode. Actual interest in Saylor's words, not snap decision anger without waiting for an explanation. Blake wasn't so bothered by the question she would start yelling or throwing things, and Saylor didn't need to be afraid.

"Why do you say that?" Blake asked.

"You seem like the type that would attract them."

Blake hadn't realized she managed to come off that way. Her friends made stupid comments in Saylor's vicinity with the purpose of making her think she messed around with groupies constantly, but she didn't think those swayed Saylor's mind. Her attitude around Saylor had done just fine in helping Saylor form her assumption. That was why most of the fans she met were women looking for fun instead of teenagers who looked to her as a role model. Saylor had formed her perceived image of Blake with less information than Say Goodbye fans had, and the observation wasn't far off.

"Is that a bad thing?" Blake asked.

Saylor hesitated before saying, "It's not my place to judge."

Blake was a grown woman. She could do what she wanted with her life. If she wanted to sleep with easy women, she could. There was, no doubt, a surplus of groupies willing to help her fulfill that want. Saylor had no right to give input on Blake's extracurricular activities and she didn't want to upset Blake by doing so.

"Oh, come on," Blake said, "We're doing so well. You can tell me you hate groupies. I won't be offended. Promise."

Blake was not going to let this conversation die because Saylor was afraid to verbalize her opinion. She had been honest so far, went out of her comfort zone to respond to Blake. Granted, they hadn't gotten far, but Blake wanted to show her that she didn't mind her honesty, that she welcomed it with open arms.

Saylor shoved a forkful of pasta into her mouth and searched Blake's expression. Friendly smile, blue eyes inviting, her nose not flared in hidden anger. She wasn't testing Saylor, daring her to disapprove of what or who she did during her time off. She was trying to talk to her, get to know her better with the chance she had been given, even if that meant having Saylor criticize something like her need to sleep with groupies. Katie never cared enough to let her have an opinion, but Blake did care and over something as trivial as what she did in her spare time. And the openness of her expression and lax body language showed her Blake was serious.

"Well..." Saylor paused. "It's not a very good basis for a relationship, is it?"

Blake's face didn't morph into rage, she didn't explode in anger. Much to Saylor's pleasure, Blake chuckled and tilted her head to the side, looking at her with amusement in her eyes.

"You don't think I plan on starting an actual relationship with them, do you? That's not what I want from them and that's not what they want from me."

"I meant a serious relationship with someone who's not a groupie. How would they be able to trust you not to mess around behind their back?"

Blake's eyebrows drew together. "Do you really think someone would lose trust in me?"

"Maybe."

Blake's smile dropped. Sleeping with groupies causing her to lose all credibility in a serious relationship, causing Saylor to lose trust in her, that was a consequence she hadn't thought of. But she wasn't with Saylor and she was already refraining from messing around with groupies. Blake wasn't a cheat, would never break a vow of monogamy for quick sex. And if she had the sexy redhead sitting across from her, why would she want to be unfaithful?

"What if the person I want to be with takes up so much of my thoughts that I abstain from groupies."

Flashes of Katie flitted through Saylor's mind. There had been a time when her thoughts revolved so centrally around her that she couldn't appreciate the beauty in another woman because no other woman could compare. She had been in love with Katie, so entranced by her that she let all the bad things go and couldn't think about anyone else. Had the abuse never started, they may have worked out.

She pushed the thoughts of Katie from her head. This wasn't the time. Saylor was trying to make progress in living like a normal person again, and Katie wouldn't distract that.

"Then, you make sure she's the right one for you because you'd probably feel pretty strongly about her if she's on your mind that much."

Blake paused, eyeing Saylor. Did she know who Blake was talking about? Did she know that she was giving Blake advice on what to do about her? Granted, Blake had similar advice already, but Saylor was further imprinting it in her mind.

"Do you like cats or dogs?" Blake asked.

Saylor's eyebrows drew together. The conversation was going from something as serious as Blake's future relationship to what animal Saylor preferred. And Blake seemed absolutely serious about the question.

Saylor shrugged. "I don't know, they're both okay."

"Don't give me that. Pick one."

"Okay, um," Saylor paused, debating briefly between the furry creatures. "Dogs."

Blake's broad smile returned. "Me, too."
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