Leap of Faith

The Doctor knew. He always knew. It was the same every single time, but he couldn't help it. He was absolutely powerless to stop it. It was either get hurt, sometimes so very deeply hurt, or live his life completely alone. He knew it was selfish of him, knew that it was so very human of him, but he did not want to be alone.

Gwen led the way to the old house they'd landed in. Her hands were shoved in the pockets of her jacket. She was walking ahead of the Doctor, the revelation she told him not something she wanted to discuss now, or ever. She couldn't even believe she'd said it. She knew that he'd already known, but to voice it aloud had been a mistake. She was embarrassed. Though she knew that she wasn't the first who had fallen for him, it was no reconciliation. If anything, it only made it worse.

***

The two of them sat in that bedroom in complete silence for over an hour. They were thinking, about similar yet oh-so different things. The Doctor wanted Gwen to be happy. There was a part of him that wished he'd never met her, because maybe then she could be happy and live that life that she so desperately wanted to live. Gwen wanted the Doctor to be happy. Sometimes she, too, wished she had never met him. She wanted that life, with house and the family. But the traveling, seeing the universe and saving lives, was so much more than she'd ever dreamed she'd be able to have.

She was sixteen when they met. She'd been at the park down the street from her family's home with her younger sister, Kailyn. Kailyn had wandered off, and Gwen had freaked out. She looked all throughout the park. In the slides, by the swings. She'd almost given up when he'd walked over. She was sitting on the ground, arms wrapped around her knees. She looked up and there he was. Kailyn's tiny hand was clasped in his. She thanked him a thousand times, hugging him and saying she could never repay him for doing that for her. And that's when the Doctor had asked her to go with him.

Gwen heard his footsteps on the wood floor as he walked over to her. He sat beside her on the bed and curled his arm around her shoulders. She leaned against her Doctor. "Where do you want to go next?" he asked, his voice a soft melody in her ear.

She looked up at him. "Wherever you want to take me." She smiled, and he smiled back, causing her to forget why she'd even been upset in the first place.

He stood up and went to the TARDIS. He stood in front of it, still smiling at her. He held out his hand and waited for her to get up so that they could leave. Just like before, though, the door crashed open. Barty stood in the doorway, and his face was changed. The expression on it scared Gwen. His eyes were wild, they shot back and forth even quicker than they normally did. His tongue flicked out of his mouth, then quickly moved back in.

Barty stared between them, saw the sheer terror in Gwen's eyes. He shook his head at her, then moved his attention to the Doctor. He pulled his wand out of his coat pocket and pointed it at him. He directed his first words at Gwen. "I'm so sorry." And then, "Avada Kedavra!"

A shrill scream filled the room, the house, maybe even the entire town. Before the green light could get anywhere near her Doctor, before the entire sentence could even leave Barty's mouth, Gwen jumped in front of the man she loved. The spell hit her square in the chest, knocking her back against the Doctor.

The Doctor's eyes widened as he took in what had just happened. He looked at the wild man in front of him, then down at the dead girl in his arms. The dead girl that he had loved, oh yes he had. But he'd never gotten to tell her. He'd never even thought about telling her, because he knew- No, he thought he knew, that he would always keep her safe.

"What have you done?" he yelled. There were many emotions playing in his voice. Anger, hate, grief.

Barty took a step backwards. "I was supposed to kill you," he whispered.

"And you thought she would just let you? You talked to her! You knew her! Why would you do that?" The Doctor laid Gwen down on the floor carefully, then stepped over her.

"Dammit! This wasn't supposed to happen! I'm sorry!"

"You think you're sorry now, but you have no idea! You killed her! She was 18 years old and you killed her! What do you think she would have done if you'd gotten me? Do you think she would have been okay with it? That she would have stayed with you? She would hate you!"

"You have to leave! It was supposed to be you! If he knows that you're still alive he'll come after you himself. She'd never forgive me if you get hurt." Barty stared at the Doctor, pleading with his eyes.

The Doctor shook his head, turning around and walking back to the TARDIS. He picked up Gwen's body, cradling it in his arms. He laid her down inside then turned back to Barty Crouch, Jr. "She'll never forgive you for trying. Don't you get it, Barty? No matter what, she never would have forgiven you. You look like me. You look exactly like me and you thought that maybe, just maybe, that would be enough. But it isn't. Because you're completely different from me. I give people their lives. I save them in any means necessary. And you, you take lives away. She never would have loved you. Never."

And then the Doctor stepped into the TARDIS. He started her up, and headed for the next and very last place he would take Gwenni Marshall; home.