Six Feet Under the Stars

"Is it obvious?" Alex asked, sitting on the countertop and not daring to turn around to face the bathroom mirror. "Tell me the truth."

Truthfully, I had been standing in front of Alex and caking layers of foundation onto his neck for a good fifteen minutes hoping to disguise the hickey. I wasn't aiming for perfection just trying to make it passable as a bruise or scrape. Our complexions were almost a match so that saved the two of us a trip to the pharmacy. But in the end, the mark turned out to look exactly how it was; a hickey covered in a questionable makeup job.

"It looks... normal." I forced an encouraging grin.

Alex eyed me skeptically and then nearly fell into the marble sink when he looked at his reflection. "Melanie, it looks like I have some sort of infectious skin disease."

"It does not." Waving his concerns away with my hand, I asked. "Do you want me to add more?"

"No, it'll just make it stand out more. Maybe no one will be able to tell from a distance. It just looks so weird and lumpy with the makeup on."

Alex made a move to touch the half-covered hickey, and I grabbed his hand. "You'll smear it." I explained.

"And I thought you just wanted an excuse to hold my hand." He smirked, linking his fingers with mine.

The action stirred up memories from being locked in the closet with him. Remembering the way Alex's eyes had connected with mine on a and how his mouth so close when we had almost kissed gave me goose bumps. Feeling an attraction to him wasn't right, but I couldn't help it. Dorian was the other factor added into the equation. Starting anything with Alex would be wrong and low when I was already dating Dorian, but the feelings running through me were screaming not to be ignored.

I met his eyes evenly, one side of my mouth turned upwards. "Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Charming me. Or seducing me. Whatever you're trying to do."

"This is just me being a perfectly respectable young man." Alex winked.

The bathroom was a little cramped with the two of us so close together and surprisingly made me feel an emotional bridge to Alex forming. It felt comforting with the constant hum of the fan and gleaming lights overhead. It lulled me into security there, holding his hand and joking back and forth with him. It was so easy to be around him. It worked like nothing else had.

Scrutinizing him, I confessed a secret. "I wish I remembered."

"Remembered what?" He asked looking equally amused as he was curious.

"What your lips were like." I admitted. My eyes unconsciously traveled down to his mouth, only a few inches away.

"Want to know something? If you want to kiss me, I'll let you. Even participate."

That had me laughing. "I appreciate that, Alex. Really, I do."

The foundation case clicked as I snapped the lid shut with precision. Breaking our eye contact and removing my hand from his, I started putting away the many makeup supplies scattered on the cool marble next to him. Just as the mascara slid into its designated place, Alex grabbed my hand again and turned my body so I was facing him again. He shot me a wry look. "Sometimes I wish you didn't think I was joking all the time."

Instinctively leaning forward as I shook with soft laughter. "The problem is that I know you're serious. Much too serious. It scares me to be honest. How is someone supposed to deal with this all at once? I have what I feel and what I know. Both of which don't help me too much."

"You don't need to be scared." A lopsided grin took over his face making me feel silly for even considering being frightened. It was a very safe, nuturing smile. "Just think of it as more of a leap of faith."

I took a deep breath and couldn't believe my response. "Okay."

The simple reply ruffled him. "Okay?" He questioned while tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "I'm not following you on this."

"Kiss me."

"You?" His eyes widened a fraction.

"Me." I confirmed, entertained by his reaction.

"Well... well, okay." Alex sounded frazzled and shifted on the countertop slightly then jumped onto the ground. "But this is all wrong. You get up here."

With a hand, he assisted me onto the countertop and I took his place. Swinging my legs back and forth, I studied Alex as he did the same to me. I waited there expectantly for him to make a move but he was a little frozen which worried me. "Come on." I said softly, pulling him closer to me as way of invitation. He rested his hands on my hips and the warmth of his skin warmed through my denim jeans. "A little closer."

Barely an inch away, he rested a hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes. "Melanie, this is too staged. I can't relax like this."

"You're backing out? What happened to 'a leap of faith'?" I tried and failed to imitate his voice.

"I dunno, I just want it to happen on it's own," he explained with a sigh. "Honestly, I've thought about this a lot since I've met you. Pictured it maybe happening on a beach or under the sunset. All that cliche bullshit. Well, I guess we kind of already kissed but since you don't remember it it's like the first time. It puts a lot of pressure on the situation. And standing here, in a bathroom of all places, well it just is a little--."

My lips caught his before he could say anything more. Alex's lips were soft and undemanding. After the shock of the initiation, it took him a moment to add his own pressure. Pressing gently, his mouth fit together with mine like puzzle pieces. His hand roamed through my hair and deepened the kiss and I rested my arms around his neck. I guided him even closer to me, drinking in the moment. A stray hand trailed down my back leaving shivering in its wake. With an audible break, we parted too soon. Surprisingly, it was Alex who had pulled away first.

In a slight daze, I shook my head. "Not yet."

Pulling our mouths back together, I stole a greedy kiss. Laughter rumbled through his chest and he kissed me just as eagerly. The energy was all playful and exciting. Kissing someone for the first time was always an adventure, never knowing if compatibility was truly there. That was one area I didn't have to worry about with Alex. As he stood over me, his tongue slid against my bottom lip and patiently waited for my approval. I parted my lips readily, and the kiss was taken to a more intimate level. Our tongues explored each other's mouths and we both tasted of day-old Jaeger and lust; a heady combination. Again, the connection broke with a quiet sound of parting lips.

"Enough for you?" Alex questioned, speaking low in my ear.

Shaking my head again, I answered honestly. "No." His breath was still ragged from kissing and I could see his chest rising and falling. Lust and emotion ruled my brain now. "Do you still have those condoms?"

"In the bedroom."

Without delay, we walked into the room hurriedly. I laid across the bed and watched as Alex started ripping open the cardboard box.

I laughed, "They have an easy-open tab on there, you know."

"I was doing it my way." He explained with a grin. The box tore apart and the condoms flew all over the bed and carpet.

I picked one square package up and held it out to him, "Pick your poison."

He held onto the other side, but didn't take the condom from my grasp. Meeting my eyes he didn't have to say anything for me to understand. Alex was giving me one more chance to back down. Another out before the decision. His eyes told me that I could go and walk away now if I wanted to. But if things proceeded then it was a permanent, lasting decision.

My decision.

I could back out. The relization that I could leave Alex and head right on out of the hotel was overpowering. But I had gone far too long judging on logic and reason. Slowly, I had been starving myself of emotion and everything that went with it. Usually, I did things because they were the right thing, or they were the easy thing to do. Never thinking what I truly wanted. This was the time for change and a new beginning.

My fingers ripped open the condom package; my choice was made.

Alex laughed again. It was a soft and caring sound. "Not yet, honey. I want to enjoy this with you for a while."

With that, his lips connected with mine as my brow furrowed. I pulled away in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I want to kiss you."

"And not have sex?" I quesioned, picking up on the undercurrent.

"I don't want you to regret anything."

"There would be nothing to regret."

He rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. A slight smile turned his lips. "I don't doubt you. But I think it's more me this time."

"You don't want me?" I asked quietly. It sounded more of a statement than a question.

"No, that's not it. I just don't want any of us getting hurt, Dorian included. Things with Caitlyn just ended and that's fucking with my mind still. She called me the other day and left me a long message."

"You didn't tell me." I frowned, wrapping an arm around him.

"It was all talk about pregnancy and babies. It just got me worried."

"So you don't want to sleep with me because I might get pregnant?" I was getting more confused moment after moment.

"What? No, that's not what I'm saying." Alex laughed loudly. "Let me try to explain this better." He paused a moment, and then continued, "I want you too much. It feels like if I have you now, everything will just be over. And I don't want to lose you that quick. So, I'm just content to kiss you right now. That's all I want."

"I thought you wanted this." I said feeling strange.

"See, just the way you said that backs up another point of mine. You said, 'I thought you wanted this'. Not a 'we' or an 'I'. You're too concerned about pleasing others and not yourself." After that statement, he paused. "By the way, that wasn't supposed to be sexual innuendo. But seriously, you should be doing this because you want to not because you think it would make me happy."

Speechless, I couldn't come up with a response. That had to be the single sweetest moment of my life.

Alex folded my fingers over the condom and smiled thoughtfully at me. "So we'll wait it out."

I nodded just as there was a knock on the door.

"Melanie Leigh Sinclair," a stern voice I recognized as Jack's called through the door, "If you're busy trapezing around in there with Alex, I suggest you get yourself cleaned up. Dorian's throwing a fit in the hotel lobby. He's looking for you and I think he has a pretty good idea where to find you."