Six Feet Under the Stars

Hands set defensively on my hips, I stepped in front of Dorian in the hotel lobby. "What do you want?"

Keeping a few feet back from him to avoid further harm was my plan. I didn't want any rage directed at me again; my eye still throbbed uncomfortably in my skull and felt tender to the touch. Seeing the damage to Alex was also a constant reminder of how dangerous Dorian truly was.

"To talk to my girl. Is that too much to ask?" Dorian closed the remaining distance between us almost immediately. "We've been off these days. It's like we're on completely different wavelengths."

That was a gross understatement. "I'd say so."

"Well, how can we fix this?" He reached a hand out to stroke my arm comfortingly. Dorian was past the petty anger and jealousy now, he was in the stage of looking for forgiveness to his previous actions.

"I don't know that we can." Blocking any warm feeling for him, I sighed and subtly moved from his touch. "It's just been too much. Things between us haven't been good in so long that they'll never get back to the way they were. It'll never be the same as it was when we first met."

"C'mon. We've always been able to push through things in the past."

"That was then and this is now. I'm just not sure I want to be with you. You went crazy and fought Alex and--."

"He punched me first." Dorian broke in, sounding slightly outraged. "You can't forget that."

"But you had a chance to step back. And even before that, you came up on the elevator looking for trouble. This shit is just too much to deal with right now. I don't even know who I am anymore with you around all the time."

"What are you getting at?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Maybe we need to take a break." I finally told him, avoiding the hurt in his gaze by focusing on a pillar behind his head.

"You're going to flush two years down the drain? All that time and effort and everything we went through together?" Dorian questioned, whispering in a strained voice. "Mel, you're the first person I ever fell in love with. Hell, I'm still in love with you now. And I think I always will be. You can't just leave me like this."

"I have to consider what I feel, and what's best for me." I told him, meeting his gaze finally. "It's time I took a moment for myself. I've been supporting you, job after job, apartment after apartment, for years now. I need to discover myself, Dorian."

He snorted, "Don't pull that Buddhist bullshit on me. Life isn't a game; we belong together."

"I used to think that, but I'm not so sure anymore." I sighed and forced my hands deep into my denim jeans pockets playing around with the loose coins. "Time is what I need, Dorian. I'm taking it."

"Is it because of Alex?" The sadness in his words was overbearing. "Tell it to me straight. Don't bullshit me."

"Maybe." I admitted, feeling terrible for actually speaking the truth when I saw the look in Dorian's eyes. "But I want some thinking time too. That what I really need. It's just been overwhelming with everything that's been happening."

Dorian let out a long breath that seemed to stretch forever. "So, a break?"

Mechanically, I nodded, "Right."

"Okay." Reluctantly, he forced the agreement through minutely clenched teeth. "But I want you to know that I'm not giving up. I'm going to win your trust back, I swear."

"Dorian, you don't have to--."

"I know I've been an asshole, but I'm going to change; you'll see." A glint of hope reflected in his eyes that reminded me of the man I had first met. "It'll be just like old times again. Like when we rode all the way down to Panama City for my uncle's wedding. Do you remember that?"

Nodding once more, I had to laugh at the memory despite my reservation about Dorian. "And you spilled that orange slushie all over your white dress shirt. You almost had to barter something with that homeless man in Atlanta."

"I did end up trading with him. Twenty bucks and a McDonald's cheeseburger bought me a used tuxedo top, straight from the 80's. The ruffled front was kind of classy though the coffee stain was a little disappointing."

"You could have just stopped in a store for a new one, and it would have came out to about the same cost."

"Too late now. Besides now I have a good story to tell." He smiled sweetly and it was hard to believe what Dorian was capable of: the violence, the erratic behavior. All of it just didn't seem possible with the grinning man standing in front of me.

Slowly, my smile faded just as the bruises on my arm would. "But that was the past."

"It could be our future. Us, on the way to our wedding." He told me, painting the picture of a white picket house and a bundle of kids running around on the front lawn in the middle of the suburbs playing baseball or something as equally recreational.

After a second, I caught on. "You want to marry me?" I questioned, shocked.

"Crossed my mind dozens of times over the years. The moment just never seemed right." Dorian admitted, shockingly becoming pink in the cheeks.

"Dorian," I paused, feeling guilty that I must be breaking his heart, "maybe we can have that. I'm not sure. I don't know what the future will bring."

He sighed, "I guess Alex will try things with you."

Awkwardly, I shifted on my feet, "How am I supposed to know that?"

"He will." Dorian assured me confidently though somewhat bitterly. Raising hand, he stroked my cheek gently, "He better be sweet with you while he has the chance. I won't give him that much time to do much; I'm coming for you."

I stepped out of his caress and averted my eyes. "Well, I'll see you around."

In response, Dorian only nodded and continued to watch me. The anger that had fueled his motion earlier had now receeded back into their carefully sealed safe, poising to erupt in some future time. Now he only looked beaten down like a whipped horse. I left him standing alone as I sauntered over to Alex, buying my time on the long marble trail back.

"Did he say anything crazy?" Alex asked, eyeing Dorian suspicially from the stairs. "He looks a little shifty."

Gazing up at me, his eyes seemed wide and luminous like an innocent child's. Back in his presence, I felt more safe than I had the entire day. I was just beginning to realize how deep the feelings I had for Alex ran; each kind gesture and word he spoke seemed to draw me closer to him. Without trying, he was ensnaring me in his grasp. Mentally pushing those thoughts aside, I replied, "Depends on your definition of crazy."

"Psychotic, on the verge of a mental breakdown. Any of those would work." He told me, nursing his injured hand against his chest.

"Maybe. I'm not sure." I admitted honestly, watching him cradle the semi-useless arm. But after Dorian's random mention of marriage, my head had been spinning like a top and I found it hard to stray much farther than that arena. "But we kind of broke up."

"Oh, you two are calling it quits?" Unsurprisingly, Alex's interest was piqued.

"For now." I told him and then swiftly changed the subject. "Want to get out of here for a while? I feel trapped."

"Definitely. I want to get away from the Portland strangler over there before he decides to do some more damage. But there's this little cafe I saw a few blocks from here that apparently has some amazing French toast. We should check it out." He grinned widely in anticipation of the sweet breakfast food and the opening chance for freedom and I didn't mention that I had been thinking about the same restaurant when I had woken in bed beside him that morning. That might spark a whole different flow of conversation, one that I was not prepared to deal with at the moment.

"Sounds good, Alex. But only if I get to pay."

"Chivalry isn't dead. I'll pay the bill."

"You paid for those pancakes." I reminded him with a small smile as he stood up next to me, again making me the shorter one of the two of us. "It's my turn. Don't make this difficult."

Alex mumbled something that suspiciously sounded like 'We'll see', before saying audibly, "Let's head out now."

Walking out of the front hotel doors was very freeing. I was eager to leave the drama and police officers behind me. Being unchained from Dorian's finger was another perk that seemed to free me greatly. It felt like a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I was finally able to breathe normally again. Discussing various Jackie Chan films filled the void of time it took to walk the four blocks to the restaurant. Soon we rounded a corner and a small cafe came into view stuffed between an office building and a lawyer's office. With a chalkboard sign out on the front sidewalk and the smell of baked goods floating from the open doorways, it was an intoxicating array of atmosphere.

"Wait a second." Suddenly Alex stopped causing me to halt and turn to him, wondering what the problem was. "I've been meaning to ask this."

"What?" Searching his eyes, I waited for his answer curiously.

"Would you want to go out on a date with me?" He grinned widely, and even with the split lip and bloodied knuckles he looked just as handsome as ever. Maybe even more so in a rugged, untamed way.

Taken aback by the question, I repeated, "What?"

He snapped a few fingers in front of my face trying to get me to quit staring in shock by the random offer. Alex laughed happily, sounding overjoyed by my reaction, "You know, a date. Me and you. Dinner and a movie." He paused, drifting into thought. "But I'll come up with something more creative than that. Don't you worry."

"That's inevitable. But I dunno about this." I spoke feeling mixed up on the inside like a broken jigsaw puzzle.

"You can't say you're not single anymore." He told me innocently, referencing all the times I had used Dorian as an excuse not to advance my relationship with Alex. "Because you are."

"Yeah, since five minutes ago!" I exclaimed, faking the outrage. Honestly, my stomach was doing leaps just thinking about spending more alone time with Alex. The anticipation of the unknown and what awaited me there was enticing.

Shrugging simply, Alex chuckled lightly. "I work fast, girl. Keep up."

Studying him for a moment as a mixture of cinnamon spices surrounded us in a heady aura, I replied slowly, "Okay."

"Okay?" He questioned, almost unbelievingly. It was almost like when I had first told him to kiss me which seemed like ages ago.

"Okay." I confirmed trying not to laugh, while adding, "On one condition."

"And what would that be?" Suspicion flooded his features and he raised an eyebrow. While slanting me a look, he bit his hurt lips trying not to smile, though the pain registered soon after and Alex quickly freed the bottom lip. However, not before fresh blood started to trickle out lazily from the wound.

I managed to push the guilt of his injuries away long enough to reply. "Just no brawling."