Life Goes on, With or Without You

Chapter 8
I slowly started to wake up and became more aware of my surroundings when I heard a heartbeat monitor. I immediately sat up; it’s the worst feeling in the world to even think that you have awoken from another coma. It’s okay I don’t expect anyone to have empathy for me. What pulled me out of that thought was the sharp pain in my arm. I had it wrapped so it was all good.
I felt the bed move a little I looked to the left and I saw Landon laying there still asleep he was still wearing the same clothes from last night. He never left my side, it had me wondering how many nights he waited for me to wake up from my coma. All the hell I put him through and I still had the nerve to feel as if we were still together when he waited for me and I never came through in time. I laid back down and just watched him sleep, anyone would call me a creep, but when I looked at him I felt as if everything was normal it was hard to ‘get over’ him I was probably in the phase where I shouldn’t be around him. But as for him he was in the phase where he was ready to be friends with me.
I decided it was time for me to leave; I just wanted to go home. I think I’m allowed to go mope about my boo-boo arm and my disoriented heart. I slowly got up and took out the ivy from my arm and removed everything only to hear the monitor go flat line. Shit I forgot about that, but after successfully pushing a series of random buttons it turned off. Luck was also on my side because Landon the ‘secret agent’ was still asleep. I walked over to the bathroom I was still wearing last night’s outfit. I wanted to shower and change but I didn’t know how to deal with my arm. How was I supposed to explain this to my mom? I splashed some water on my face only to be startled by Landon standing behind me.
“You scared me,” I said drying my face and then he sauntered back to the bed and I watched as he walked to himself? This makes no sense and then he disappeared into himself. Then I saw the ‘real’ Landon start to wake up I just stared with my mouth wide open. Nick said I could see souls but having to see Landon’s soul just staring at me was the most unexplainable feeling I've ever felt. Landon sat up and yawned and he rubbed his eyes; I tried to look away but I kept looking back.
"I just had the strangest dream." Landon said I just stared at and nodded. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing just thinking about things." I said he got up and walked towards me. He took a good look at my arm. "I'm sorry May for even putting you in that position, I was so worried about you last night."
"It was just my arm it's not like I got shot in the chest or" I started but he interrupted
"Please don't even finish that statement," he said and he pulled me into him just like the good old days. I was at a loss for words in all honesty, I slowly pulled away I couldn't look into his eyes and I really didn't want to because I didn't want to see the look in his eyes. Sometimes I felt like he was trying to lead me on but in all reality he was the one who decided to move on; but who could really blame him.
"What are we going to tell my parents," I asked.
"May before we start about that I think we should talk." he said sincerely
"About what exactly," I said.
"About us, we never talked about it and I just want things to be right between us." he said
"Landon there is no 'us' and things seem pretty fine to me," I said irritated, "I'm sorry that came out sounding mean."
"No, it's okay I just think that because we never really talked about anything you just keep it all in," he said struggling to pick the right choice of words.
"Look of course I was hurt and it did hurt me more to think that you just played along with the way life use to be because I was still recovering; and I know that I messed up by still thinking that we were still together. But I don't understand why you kissed me that night." I was honest with him because regardless of how things turned out he was still my best friend.
"I know and I am sorry about that, it's just when I saw you I felt so confused it was like I had went into the past again and then there was Janelle so I just knew that if I kissed you again after so long then I would know." he admitted.
"And that night after you kissed me you realized it wasn't the same." I said looking away. I had already knew the answer to that but hearing it again just made it seem more painful. He was silent; he didn't answer back. He took a step forward I already knew what he was going to do. I only had a matter of seconds to decide if I was going to allow him to kiss me again. He leaned down and he kissed me, it was a very sweet simple kiss; I did feel guilty but I wanted to see if I still felt the same. I know we kissed last time but I had so much on my mind and I didn't really think about it not that somebody should have to think about a kiss. Landon deepened the kiss but his lips against mine just didn't feel right. It could have been because I knew he was with Janelle or I knew that maybe it was just because I was his first serious relationship and I never really did anything for us to really break up other then fall under for two years.
It was at that exact moment that I realized that there was something missing. I loved Landon but not in the way I use to. I pulled away, I examined Landon's face and his eyes were still closed. We were done and there was nothing we could do about it.
"what are you doing!" the soul asked me, "You can't be doing this you should be ashamed of yourself you know he has a girlfriend so why are you lying to yourself and being a slut."
I was caught off guard, I couldn't believe all the things she was going off about.
"May?" Landon asked
"Landon I can't do this, we can't do this." I said and I saw another soul arguing with her.
"I'm sorry," he said
"No don't be I just need to go home." I said, "I think it's best if we just stay friends."
"I waited for you" he whispered
"I know and its okay to move on Landon things are different now, the only thing that hasn't changed is that we're still best friends." I said to him, "I know it's hard but you know how you truly feel don't let the past confuse you."
I couldn't believe I was saying this. I think it was for the best though. I could see in his eyes how emotionally difficult this all was.
"Alright May," he said and we hugged I winced when he squeezed a little "sorry forgot about your arm."
"What am I going to tell my parents?" I asked looking down at my arm
"Who says you have to tell them," he said raising his eyebrow
"Okay and what do I say when they start scolding me for coming home a day late?" I asked
"I'll go with you and we'll say we fell asleep watching a movie like the good old days," he smiled knowing that they would believe it.
"works for me. Can I have some clothes and stuff so I can shower or something?" I asked
"I'll go get the girls," he said and left

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After a difficult shower and getting ready we were now on our way to my house. The ride was rather irritating, only because the stupid soul in the back kept making rude remarks. I don't understand why but after I get home I'm going to call Nick because I've had it with this whiny soul in the back. It's kind of sad that the reason for me wanting to help them is because I can't stand it anymore.
"What's wrong?" he asked
"Nothing you wouldn't believe me if I told you," I said rolling my eyes
"Oh come on, you supported me when you found out about my job." he said
"Yeah but even that is more credible." I said glancing at the souls behind me who were looking at me as if I was really considering telling someone other than a psychic that figured it out on his own.
"I think you're just over exaggerating" he said
"Look Landon I really trust you but I'm not ready to tell you or let alone anyone." I said
"I can tell you my life's secret but you can't tell me yours?" he joked
"Pretty much." I said and we pulled up to my house.
"Alright I'll take a rain check but I'm going to hold you to it." he said making me write in the air for a 'rain check'.
"Okay lets go face the music" I said
Even though everything seemed to be going smoothly with my parent I surely did get it from my mom once Landon left. She basically told me to move on I was mad at her she didn't know anything that was going on or what we had talk about. I mean I had told her about how he had a girlfriend but she didn't know anything we had just talked about. She made me so angry I just wanted to scream. I laid down on my bed and just tried to relax.
"Your moms right you should just move on instead making a slutty fool out of yourself." A soul said to me.
"That's it! You're done." I said reaching over to grab my cell and called Nick.
"Hello," I heard his voice
"Hey Nick its me May, I don't know if you remember me," I started
"Oh yeah so you want me to go over or you want to come over," he asked
"Can you come over?" I asked
"Okay just text the address to my cell and I'll have my sister get the directions on the internet." he said
"Okay, I'll see you in a bit then," I said
"Bye May." he said after he hung up I felt nervous what if he thought I was a slut. I mean I know he can read people but it made me really care about what he thought.
I told my mom that I was going to have company I lied and told her I met him when I was getting my physical therapy and he was there. I didn't tell her why but it was the only thing I could come up with. I sat down on the stairs just waiting I could hear the voices coming from my room which only made me all the more anxious. I heard the doorbell ring and I froze.
I ran to the door and then took a deep breath before opening the door. When I opened the door I saw Nick and the women who helps him run the shop.
"Hello Nick," I said and he smiled at me
"Just hold him by his arm he'll be fine," she said and I linked arms with Nick and he held my hand, "Okay I'll come back later then Bye."
"Bye," I said and I looked at Nick, "Okay umm do you want to stay in my living room or you shall we go to my room."
"Let's go to your room," He said
"Okay there's some stairs," I started but he interrupted
"I know it's okay I can see what you see," He said and I just nodded my head.
"Oh Hello, I'm May's mom," My mom said and she shook his free hand
"It's a pleasure to meet you, your house smells lovely," Nick said
"Oh thank you," my mom said I gave her look to go away. "Well I'll just be in my office call me if you need me."
When we walked into my room I saw four souls sitting on my bed. I only remember there being two of them, but you know what they say the more the merrier.
"So are these the ones?" He asked
"Yup and theres another one too." I added in
"Hey you know its rude to talk about us like we're not here." I just looked at Nick and he had a smirk on his face.