Heartless

I didn't go to school the next day. Mom took the news surprisingly well (I think she didn't want to upset me more than I already was) but hadn't touched the topic since.

I was in the kitchen making myself lunch when the doorbell rang, causing me to jump. Who in the hell, I thought, walking to the living room and opening the door...

To be tackled to the ground.

“Oh my God! Willow I missed you so much! You didn't forget me did you? Because then I'd have to kick your ass you know.”

I sighed, staring above me at Ana, my cousin. She had been in Hawaii with her parents for the past month, and had apparently come home sometime recently. Her and I had always been close.

“No, Ana, I didn't forget you.” I smiled. She smiled too before hugging me tightly and standing up, pulling me along with her.

“So, where's aunt Paula?” she asked, “I have some magnets for her fridge from Hawaii, oh and I got some new clothes and stuff...” Ana kept rattling on, with me nodding at certain intervals when she was actually silent before she started back up again.

“So, how've you been?”

I stared at Ana for a second. We had gotten back into the kitchen where I was finishing my lunch, and she had leaned against the counter next to me. “Well?”

“I've been... Fine, I guess. Tired. I apparently take pills now on top of being Albino.” I mumbled. She grimaced, nodding slightly. “Sorry to hear that. I know it's gotta suck.”

I nodded back, jumping when I heard the front door open. Ana's grimace fell away, replaced with a smile as she ran into the living room screaming “Aunt Paula!”

I hung my head as Mom and Ana came back to the kitchen, laughing and talking about Hawaii. “So, Ana, what time did you get in?” Mom asked. Ana shrugged back. “Yesterday morning I think.”

I listened politely to the conversation until Ana left, saying she had to finish cleaning up her room, leaving me with Mom in the kitchen.

“So. How was your day?” she asked, looking through the fridge and taking things out for dinner. “It was okay. Sort of boring, I guess.”

She nodded, going to the sink to fill a pot with water before putting it on the stove. I sighed to myself before shaking my head. “Mom... Can we just... Talk? About this?”

She turned slightly, getting a cutting board out of the cabinet, “Talk about what honey?”

“Oh, I don't know. Maybe why you won't look at me? Or why you won't seem to have a good conversation with me?”

At this she snorted, still with her back to me as she cut some vegetables. “Well Hun, I'm a little busy right now. Making dinner and all. Have you done your homework? Maybe you should go do that for now.”

I put my hands on the counter in front of me across from Mom, hanging my head slightly. “I didn't go to school today. And yesterday was Monday. You know we never have homework Monday.”

“Hm. Well maybe they should start handing it out.”

I turned around to her, tilting my head. “Mom, could you please just... Look at me?” I whispered. She kept cutting away. “Is this... Is this because I'm gay?”

At that she sighed, putting down her knife and finally turning to me to stare at her shoes. “Hun, I don't think you're gay. I think this is just a stupid phase because of some of the other kids at your school, and maybe you don't feel like you fit in, so you're taking it to extremes. In a few month's you'll see that you aren't attracted to... other boys, and you'll be back to normal.”

I snorted loudly, causing her to look up for a second. “Why... Why would this be a phase? I mean... You... You were always the one telling me to have an open mind about people...”

“People, Willow! Other people. Look, just give it a few months and you'll be fine. Now then, what do you want for dinner?”

I stared back before frowning. “I'm not hungry anymore.” I whispered, leaving the kitchen and going to my room.

I went back to school the next day. Fortunately Jace had decided to drive that day, apparently, so I sat in the back of the bus and tried to relax, not fully succeeding. Homeroom seemed to louder than usual, and as a result was giving me a migraine. I put my head on my desk, jumping when I heard the bell ring and slamming my head off the desk. “Ow! Fuck...”

I heard a sigh next to me, causing me to glance up as I rubbed my forehead. “Yes, Jace, what is it?”

He shrugged slightly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Where were you yesterday?” he asked quietly. I shrugged. “Personal day.”

He hummed a response before grabbing my arm and pulling me up. “C'mon. We'll be late for Art.”

I winced when we got into the classroom, the bright light hurting my eyes as Jace pulled me to a table near the back that was empty. There weren't a lot of people in our art class.

I took off my glasses, setting them on the table as Jace got paint and we waited for the teacher to tell us what to do. “You missed a small thing yesterday. Not graded though.” Jace whispered, making my attention turn from the teacher to him. He was drawing something on the table in Sharpie, occasionally striking something out and drawing something new. “You should pay attention.” I whispered back. He smiled slightly, glancing over at me. “I never pay attention; You know that.”

It was raining by the time school let out. I sighed as I slowly made my way toward the bus, pausing when I heard a car horn beep, making me wince since my migraine still hurt like hell. I glanced over to see Jace's car, with Jace staring at me intently. I tilted my head until he beeped the horn again, turning the stare into a meaningful look until I understood.

I got into the car slowly, putting my bag on my lap as I turned to look at Jace, who still hadn't moved the car yet. He glanced over, smiling slightly. “Waiting for Leah, sorry. I told her I'd drive her home, so we gotta go there first. Is that okay?” he asked. After a minute I nodded, then looked at the back seat. “Do you want me to move..?”

“No, stay up here.” he mumbled, putting his hand on my thigh.

Incredibly (or not so much, since it's Jace) when I felt his hand, I felt relaxed for the first time since Monday. I slid down in my seat slightly, sighing contently to myself as I noticed Jace smile more. “What's got you so tensed up?” he asked. I opened my mouth, then closed it again as Leah came into the car. “Hey baby, sorry I'm late, I had to help Mr. Finley... Oh. Hi Willow.” Leah mumbled to me, leaning back in her seat (she had chosen to sit in the middle with her hand on Jace's shoulder) and sighing quietly.

Jace glanced over at me, sending a worried look when I was suddenly silent as he squeezed my thigh before removing his hand, placing it over Leah's instead. I felt myself tense up again, looking out the window as we turned out of the parking lot.

I hardly payed attention to where Leah lived, leaning my head against the window as I was almost asleep. That is, until I felt a hand on my thigh again, causing me to jump slightly. “You're a jumpy person.” Jace observed, smiling slightly as he rubbed lightly with his thumb. I shrugged back, repositioning so I was leaning back against the seat. “So, what were you about to say when Leah got in?”

I thought for a second, remembering the question he had asked earlier before Leah got in. “Oh... I've just been tired I guess...” I mumbled. He frowned, looking over. “... Really?”

“Really.”

He stared for a minute before shaking his head, looking back to the road as he drove to my house.

Mom was still at work when we got in, making me sigh in relief. However, it caught Jace's attention. “Somethin' going on?” he asked. I shook my head quickly. “No, nothing. Why?”

He was about to reply when the front door opened, making my eyes widen as Mom came into the living room where we were. “Oh, Jace! I thought that was your car! What are you doing here?” she asked with a smile. Jace smiled back slightly. “Nothing, just figured I'd talk to Will. Haven't seen him in a while.” he responded. Mom nodded, going into the kitchen as my mental rant began.

Don't tell him Don't tell him Please for the love of God Don't tell him...

I was biting the inside of my cheek when Mom reappeared. “Willow? Does Jace know... About 'it'?”

I couldn't believe her... It's like she's trying to make sure he knows...

I stuttered for a minute before shaking my head. “No, Mom, he doesn't, and I would prefer it to stay that way.”

At this point Jace looked very confused, and I couldn't help but think he looked absolutely adorable, but there was no way in Hell he was finding out.

“Well, if you think you are, I think your best friend should know.” Mom pushed, crossing her arms. I gave her a meaningful look. “Well Mom, it's mine to tell, and I would rather not.”

“Well, what kind of friend doesn't tell his best friend he's-”

“Mom, please, not right now, we can talk about this later-”

“I think he has a right to know if you're-”

“Are you trying to do this? Intentionally?”

“Well I just think he should know-”

“Mom!”

“That you're-”

“DON'T.”

“Gay.”

I gaped at Mom as she raised an eyebrow, going back into the kitchen. I was afraid to look over at Jace, but by the snort and the way I heard the door slam, I could tell he wasn't happy.