Heartless

It had been a few months since the kiss. Jace and I hadn't mentioned it again, but everything didn't go back to normal like I had hoped. Jace stopped sleeping over, and he didn't introduce me to anymore of his girlfriends when he got them, which were starting to pick back up now that he was talking to me less and less.

I was sitting in Math when a tap on my shoulder made me jump, turning my head slightly to see Jace holding a note out to me. I frowned and snatched it from him, rolling my eyes when he laughed silently at my reaction.

The teacher was busy grading something as I unfolded the piece of paper slowly. The writing on the inside made me tilt my head slightly and frown further.

Are you busy tonight?

I contemplated saying yes, but my pencil had a mind of it's own as I quickly and sloppily scrawled no across the bottom, throwing it (unfolded still) behind me and hearing it hit Jace's desk. I ignored him for the rest of class until the bell rang and he was suddenly in front of me, tapping my desk impatiently until I frowned up at him. “Something I can help you with?”

“Yeah actually. I have a proposal to make that you'll either agree with or slap me across the face for.”

“... Okay?”

“But I'm not telling you until we get to your house.”

I rolled my eyes and stood up, following him toward the buses as I pulled out my phone to text Mom that Jace would be over for a few hours. We sat in the back, me sighing since Jace couldn't seem to sit still. “You have ADHD or something?” I asked after a while, to which he shook his head. “No, just excited. And nervous... Excervous? Nercited? Ha... Near-sighted...”

I snorted quietly, looking out the window until I saw our street come into view and we got off the bus slowly, walking toward my house.

It wasn't until we were finally in the living room (Mom was at work, as usual) that Jace decided to spill his “Big Proposal”.

“Okay, so... You remember a few months ago, when we um... We... You know...” He murmured, pressing his fingers together in an attempt to get his point across. Fortunately I knew what he meant, so I simply nodded and he sighed in relief, smiling slightly. “Okay good, so, I had an idea... Or maybe that's the wrong way to put it, I mean, I... I want to try something.”

When I heard that, I felt my eyes widen and my heart beat speed up, watching Jace as he moved closer, almost looking nervous. “Close your eyes please.” he mumbled. I did as he said, preparing myself for... Well, with Jace it can be rather unpredictable, but inside I hoped he did what it sounded like he was going to do. Not that I would be mad if he did. Quite the contrary, I would be ecstatic. Maybe even go into shock.

My inner-monologue was paused when I felt something soft pushing against my mouth, making me push back reflexively and struggle to keep my arms by my sides. It wasn't until I felt hands on my shoulders that I felt safe to let my arms go up and wrap around Jace's neck, making me sigh contently into the kiss.

Jace broke it off barely a second after, but didn't go any farther away than he needed too, so my arms were still tightly wound around him. “So...” He began.

“Hm?”

“Want to hear my proposal?”

“No shit.”

I heard him laugh softly as my eyes were still closed, my head leaning against his chest. “I want to try this. More along the lines of... Experimenting though. Just to find out where I am with all this... Stuff. I don't want any strings attached because I don't want our friendship to change if this goes badly, and it turns out that I'm not into the whole... 'making-out-with-another-guy' thing.”

“... Closet gay?”

“I'm not gay. I'm attracted to women thank you.”

The slight euphoric feeling started wearing off as I realized what Jace wanted to do. He wanted to use me in an experiment. Me, who is practically in love with him and has been for years now, used in an experiment by my best friend, who is not in love with me at all and only wants to find out if he's Bisexual. Worst mix I have ever heard of.

“... I don't know Jace...”

“C'mon! It's not like you have to do anything. Just let me try some things out from time-to-time until I actually understand whatever's going on in here-” He motioned to his head, “And then we can go back to normal. It'll be fine, I promise.”

I considered it for a few more minutes. Honestly, I couldn't see what would go wrong. If anything I'd only get more attracted to him and learn how to hide it better. Possibly get a little crushed if he does like guys too and still doesn't like me like that, but I think my feelings could use it. Maybe get some of them to disappear.

It would be nice not to think about him every day for once...

“... Alright. I'll do it, if you really want to.”

The following weeks had been much the same as the past months; Barely talking to Jace in school and not meeting his girlfriends. Except now, every day, he followed me home, where we usually ended up on the couch. We rarely made it to the actual bedroom.

“Holy Hell, do you get pent up sexual frustration during school or something?” I asked finally, slightly breathless, after a particularly brutal attack from him. He shrugged slightly, sitting up on the couch. “Maybe from Math. It's quite possible. Hormonal teenager and all.”

“Yeah, but... Damn. I'm pretty sure you bruised my mouth.” I winced as I gently felt along my bottom lip, holding in a sigh as I realized how swollen it seemed.

“Yeah... Sorry about that. Lindsey's skirt today was really short, and she kept bending over.” Jace said as an excuse.

I barely managed to hold in the insult that wanted to come out, instead humming in agreement and standing up, heading for the kitchen. “Where are you going?” Jace called, making me snort. “To my kitchen! Is that alright with you, Master?” I yelled back. I smiled when I heard him laugh and say something that sounded like 'kinky'.

I froze when I heard the front door open, putting a hand up to my mouth quickly since I was sure the swelling hadn't gone down entirely yet. I heard Mom say hello to Jace before she came into the kitchen and I quickly put my head into the fridge. “What are you looking for Will?” she asked.

“Oh, I don't know. Food maybe. Something to drink. Not sure what I want.” I replied, wincing as I noticed a slight (very slight, but still) lisp. How the Hell does someone get a lisp from a kiss?

Mom didn't seem to notice though, humming softly before saying something about cleaning. “Alright, be warned; Anyone in the living room and kitchen will be helping me clean.” she said loudly. I rolled my eyes and ran past Mom toward my room, hoping she didn't get a good look at my face.

Jace apparently had the same idea as me, heading toward the bedroom and opening the door, closing it when I walked in too and sat on my bed. He sat next to me, staring at me for a second before trying to hide a smile.

“... What?”

“Your mouth is so fucking swollen.” he mumbled.

I glared back, picking up a pillow and slamming it on the side of his head, making him laugh loudly. “Alright, alright, sorry Will,” He stopped laughing, leaning over and lightly kissing my cheek, “But... It is swollen.”

“Jace.”

“... Yes Will?”

“I hate you so fucking much.”

“... Yes Will.”