Heartless

We had gone to bed late after the movie, around one in the morning if I saw the clock right. Jace was already asleep in the bedroom while I was finishing up in the bathroom, brushing my teeth and putting everything from earlier away, standing in front of the counter for a few minutes before going into the bedroom myself.

I managed to climb over Jace without moving him, but somehow he ended up waking up anyway. He smiled slightly once he saw me, pulling me closer and lightly kissing my neck. “Night Will.” he mumbled. I smiled back, rolling over to put my arm around his waist.

“Good night Jace.”

I knew I wasn't going back to sleep as soon as I woke up. The problem was that I wasn't sure what had woken me up in the first place. Opening my eyes, I could tell that it was still dark out, so I hadn't slept that long. I glanced around the room briefly, finding nothing that could have set me off. I sat up cautiously, about to sigh when I finally realized what it was.

My heart.

I was having trouble moving, feeling incredibly tired even though I was definitely awake. I also couldn't feel my heartbeat. I was about to yell in order to wake up Jace, but my vocal cords wouldn't work. I couldn't understand what was happening. With my medicine, my heart should...

My medicine. I hadn't taken it at all yesterday.

I began to panic, which caused my heart rate to spike suddenly, so it was beating too quickly instead of too slow. My voice finally began to work, cracking as I yelled. “Jace! Wake up. Y-you need to get dressed.”

Jace stirred slightly before groaning, blinking blearily. “What? What's goin' on? House on fire?” he asked sleepily. I didn't have the time to think about how adorable half-asleep Jace was, instead shaking my head. “N-no, I need to go to the hospital. I forgot that I ran out of medicine yesterday and I haven't had any.” I explained, feeling my heart speed up even faster before it stuttered, making me choke on air for a second until it began an even pace again. I noticed the edges of my vision darkening, making me yell at Jace again. “Jace! Please! I need to go to the... To the hospital!” I had had to pause in the middle of my sentence to inhale, noticing that it was becoming harder to breath correctly.

Jace was now (amazingly) in a sitting position, rubbing his eyes furiously before he looked over and got a good look at me. “... You don't look too good.” he commented. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, instead, focusing on staying as calm as possible. “Jace... I need you to get dressed.”

After a minute, everything happening seemed to click in Jace's mind as his eyes widened. “Shit...” he mumbled, glancing around until he found his jeans, pulling them and a shirt on before searching for his shoes. “Fuck... Where's my shoes?”

“Like I know.”

He glared back slightly before falling to the ground, looking under the bed and smiling while pulling his shoes out and slipping them on. Afterwords he turned back to me. “Okay! I'm dressed! Do you need to be dressed?” he asked. I shook my head. As much as I would prefer it, I would like to get to the hospital as quickly as possible.

Once we were in the car, I could feel my heart slowing back down, making me a bit more calm while Jace still seemed to be freaking out on some level. I reached over, putting my hand on his knee. He glanced down at it for a second before removing one hand from the wheel, placing it over my own and rubbing small circles with his thumb. The hospital thankfully wasn't too far away, so soon enough Jace was pulling into the parking lot, turning the car off before turning to me. “... You're gonna be okay, right?”

“... I don't know, Jace.”

By explaining to the receptionist that I was already considered a patient in the hospital (I was supposed to be there, technically, not at home) I managed to get a room relatively quickly, sighing when I saw Banz walk in with my chart. “Alright Will, what's going on?” he asked.

I shook my head slightly. “I didn't have my medicine yesterday. I woke up and... My heart was beating weirdly.” I tried to explain. Banz nodded, taking the stethoscope from around his neck and putting it into his ears with the metal part against my chest. “Breathe in.”

I couldn't inhale too much air apparently as I began to cough and gag slightly, making Jace bring his hand up to his mouth and bite his nails. Banz frowned, moving the metal to my back. “Take normal breaths.”

My 'normal breath' at the time was shallow and fast-paced, with occasional pauses. Banz shook his head. “We need to do an EKG as quickly as possible. I don't think your medication is working correctly.” he mumbled, making me frown. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that your medication may have actually sped up your hearts process of moving from Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy to Dilated Cardiomyopathy, or possibly even heart failure.”

I felt my eyes widen as Banz left the room, running down the left hall while Jace seemed to be frozen in place. I was half tempted to say something to him, but I wasn't sure how he would take it. I also wasn't sure if my voice would work.

A few minutes later Banz returned with the EKG machine, telling me to take off my shirt and lay back on the bed. He attached several sticky wires to me before starting the test, and shaking his head at the results. “What?” I asked.

“This is incredible. You're gonna need to stay here from now on.” he mumbled. I frowned, tilting my head slightly. “... Why?”

“Because you need a heart transplant. The only problem is that it's gonna have to be really soon. And I'm not sure how easy it is to find a heart for someone with your medical conditions.” he told me, taking the wires off of me. “We're gonna move you to a permanent room, and get you settled. I'll see if we have any medication that might help slow down the process of the heart failure, and then check in to see what we can do about your heart. If we're lucky, we can just place a pacemaker in it; however, no matter what, you will need a transplant soon.”

I sat up, watching Banz as he wrote something down on my chart before motioning me to follow him. I tugged my shirt on, grabbing Jace's hand on my way and pulling him with us. Banz had me up on the third floor, taking an elevator and several different halls before he walked into a large room. “You'll stay in this one. I'll be back in a few minutes with a hospital gown for you to change into, and you can get settled. A nurse should be up with your medication and some water.” he said, nodding to us before leaving the room, closing the door behind himself.

I walked over to the bed, letting go of Jace's hand and sitting on it. He sat next to me, staring at the other side of the room unseeingly. I put my hand on his knee, pleased when he grabbed it and held on tightly, rubbing with his thumb as Banz walked back in. “Here's the hospital gown. Your nurse will be here in a few minutes. Will you be okay?” he asked. I nodded back, thanking him as he finally left. The hospital wear was light blue, and somewhat soft. I briefly looked it over before standing again and taking off my shirt, starting to unbutton my pants when the nurse came in. “Oh! Sorry!”

The nurse was a male who was currently looking at the floor, placing the tray of medication on a nearby table before walking back out and shutting the door loudly behind him. I looked in that direction for another few seconds before shaking my head, taking off my pants and leaving on my boxers as I grabbed the gown and put it over my head. I tried to reach the few snaps on the back, below my neck, as I realized that I couldn't get them done correctly. I sighed and rolled my eyes, glancing over my shoulder at Jace. “I could use some help here, Jace.”

He snapped out of whatever trance he had been in, glancing at me briefly before standing and stepping over, deftly closing the snaps before letting his fingers linger at the base of my neck. We were both silent for a few minutes until he sighed, dropping his hands and sitting back down. “So what's gonna happen?” he asked.

I shrugged slightly, wrapping my arms around myself and looking at the floor. “I don't know. Most likely die here, I guess.” I murmured. I heard him snort before he shook his head. “I'm tired, and it's about an hour drive back to my house. So I'm gonna go.” he said, standing and heading for the door as I caught his hand. “Jace? Could you just.... Stay here, with me? J-just for tonight...” I asked quietly. I heard him sigh again as he hung his head. “You're really gonna make me stay here? You know I hate hospitals. Especially when you're in them.” he responded, turning back around to me and giving a neutral expression.

“Please, Jace, just this once, and then I won't ask you again, I promise. I just... I don't wanna be alone tonight.” I begged, looking down at my feet as I let go of his hand, taking off my glasses and pinching the bridge of my nose. I heard Jace move away from me, causing me to shake my head until I felt my hands being pulled up with a small cup being placed in each. Glancing up, I saw that he had given me my medication and water, and was staring at me impatiently. “Well? Down they go. Some of us need to sleep you know. And I just know it's gonna take a while on that damn bed.” he said.

I resisted the urge to grin, downing the pills and water quickly before throwing away the cups and climbing onto the bed. Jace took off his shoes and socks, sliding in behind me and putting an arm around my waist, kissing my temple. “Everything's gonna be fine,” he whispered, “I promise...”