Heartless

“Anyway, so then Mom was like 'bitch, fuck no, outta my house' and we were like 'damn, momma', and...”

I nodded slightly as Mikayla trailed off on her story, not paying any attention to my reactions. It had officially been a week since I had been admitted to the hospital, and other than the night he stayed with me, I haven't seen Jace since. Mikayla had been in a few times, as had Mom. I didn't see my doctor too often, but he'd pop in every now and again.

Mikayla had stopped talking, causing me to look at her curiously. “You're not paying attention.” she mumbled with a smile. I sighed, looking down at my hands in my lap. “Sorry, Kayla. Little distracted.”

“It's cool. I'm actually late for work anyway, so I'll see you later, okay Will?” she asked rhetorically, standing up to kiss my cheek before leaving the room.

I glanced over at the door, sighing again before turning to look out the window. I happened to catch my reflection, pausing to look at it interestedly.

My hair was limp and sticking to my forehead, leading down to my sunken eyes that had large shadows underneath them from lack of sleep. My face and chest had taken on an emaciated look, causing me to bite my lower lip.

“Are you going to look at me or keep staring at yourself?”

I jumped slightly and turned to see Jace, who was smiling with his arms crossed over his chest. I managed a quick glance over him; dark hair that fell into his multi-colored eyes, standing out against his pale skin. His broad shoulders that led into muscular, tattoo-covered arms and a slightly slimmer waist, down to his long legs. I looked from his body to my bony hands, flexing them to watch the tendons stand out.

Jace stepped over, sitting beside me and frowning. “Will, what's wrong?” he asked quietly. I shook my head, glancing back up to him.

“... Why are you still here?”

I almost winced when I noticed how scratchy my voice had become, but I kept my eyes on his, waiting for some sort of an answer. He stared back before sighing and looking away.

“I really need a reason? I can't just be here because I want to be?”

“Why would you want to? Jace... I'm not going to get a heart in time-”

“Don't say that. You'll be fine.” he interjected, cutting me off and looking at his lap. I stared back in disbelief, shaking my head. “Why do you refuse to believe that this is real, Jace? This isn't some sort of movie where a damn miracle happens and everyone's happy in the end. The real world doesn't work that way.” I mumbled.

He glared now, standing up and pacing the room. “It doesn't matter what you do Jace, I'm dead either way.”

“You wanna know why I'm still here? Huh? Because I don't want to lose you! Because I don't want to see you taken away from me when we haven't even... I've known you my entire life, Willow, so forgive me if this news isn't the best thing in the world!”

Jace sighed at the end of his little outburst, running a hand through his hair and sighing. I shook my head slightly and looked up at him.

“Jace... I know it isn't the most ideal news, especially to you, but... It's going to happen. And there's nothing we can do about it. I don't want it to happen either, not after I just got you back.” I murmured, folding my hands together and glancing back out the window.

Jace finally stopped pacing, bringing his hands down to his face and standing still for a moment. He dropped his hands, exhaling quietly before subtly wiping his eyes. “I don't know if I can take this, Will.” he murmured. I looked back over to him before removing the covers and swinging my feet over the side of the bed, slowly standing and grabbing my IV drip to bring it with me. I made my way over to Jace, reaching up to place my hand on his shoulder as he shook his head. “This isn't fair.”

“... I know.”

He glanced down at me, sighing quietly and covered my hand with his own. “Do they have an estimated date if they can't help?” he asked. I shrugged slightly. “It's sort of up to however long my heart lasts. According to Banz, it could be days or months. It's hard to tell.”

He nodded, hesitating for a minute before ducking his head. “There's one thing I'd like us to do before you die, then.”

“... What's that?”

“..... I want to have sex with you.”