Life Was Supposed to Be Better When He Noticed Me

*Ivy's POV*

I looked at Chris. We hadn't talked in days. I felt bad and I wanted to apologize, but I knew I couldn't take the words back.

"Ivy."

I looked at Mr. Kelley. "Sir?"

"You just stopped right in the middle of your line? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I just lost my train of thought." I shook my head. "Where were we?"

Mr. Kelley look at me for a second before looking back down at his script. "You just pulled Eric onto the beach, it's your first line."

I took a deep breath and looked down at Evan who had his head on my lap.

"You okay?"

I shook my head.

"Aaaaaaaand, action."

Evan closed his eyes and I started moving my hand through his hair.

"Is he..dead?"

Kyle, I finally learned his name the Sophomore that plays Scuttle, touched Evan's eyelid. "It's hard to say." He put his ear to Evan's foot. "Oh I..I can't make out a heartbeat.."

I put my hand on his chest. "No..look! He's breathing." I touched the side of Evan's face. "He's so beautiful."

"What would I give
To live where you are?
What would I pay
To stay here beside you?
What would I do to see you
Smiling at me?
Where would we walk?
Where would we run?
If we could stay all day in the sun?
Just you and me
And I could be
Part of your world."

Caleb walks onto the stage and I start to retreat to where Christofer Drew was standing.

"Eric! Oh, Eric." Caleb rushed to Evan's side. "You really delight in these sadistic strains on my blood pressure, don't you? "

Evan looked around. "A girl..rescued me...She was...singing...she had the most...beautiful voice."

I smile to myself.

"Ah, Eric, I think you've swallowed a bit too much seawater." Caleb helped Evan up and started guiding him the other direction. "Off we go. Come on, Max. "

I started walking towards the center of the stage, as if to follow them, and Chris followed me.

"We just gotta forget this whole thing ever happened."

I looked at Chris, feeling like he wasn't just saying his lines.

"The sea king will never know. You won't tell him, I won't tell him. I will stay in one piece." Chris looked my right in the eye before walking off stage.

I sang the little part that was left, and the lights faded down.

When they were back up, I didn't even wait for my notes. I jumped off the stages, grabbed my bag, walked straight to the door, and left the auditorium with the door slamming shut behind me.

I heard someone following me, but I didn't turn around. The last person I wanted to talk to was Chris.

"Ivy, stop!"

I was wrong, Chris wasn't the last person I wanted to talk to.

"Not now, Evan. Leave me alone."

"You don't understand.."

I spun around and pointed my finger at him. "You. You don't understand. I said to leave me alone."

"You can't keep shutting me out, Ivy! God dammit. As much as you hate it, I am a part of your life, I have to be. Why can't you fucking deal with it?"

"Because," I screamed. "Because you're fucking ruining my life! That's why. Okay?! You're fucking ruining my life and all I can do is sit back and watch you!"

"Ruin your life? It takes two people to have sex, Ivy." He pointed at my stomach. "It's not just my fault."

I put my hand on my stomach. "You think I'm talking about Clay?"

The look on my face made him back track. "Aren't you?"

My throat was closing up as I tried to get out the next few words. "No..I would never..It? Clay's an it to you?"

"Ivy.."

"He's our baby, Evan. He has our genes, our blood running in his veins. And you call him an it?" I shook my head.

"Only because I thought you were blaming me, essentially him, for ruining your life.."

I pushed my bangs back. "You are ruining my life, but not through Clay. Clay happened because of both of us. I'm just as much to blame as you are, but I'd rather not look at it that way."

"Then what are you talking about?"

"Everything else." And that's when I started to cry.

Evan tried to reach out to me. "Ivy.."

"I can't talk to my sister because you slept with her. I can't talk to half of my friends because they would just run and tell you. I can't spend my time in the auditorium because somehow you always show up. And now.." I started to choke. "Now I can't even talk to Chris because he thinks my whole life revolves around you."

Evan tried to say something, but I just kept talking. "I guess though, I have no one to blame but myself. Really. My whole life did revolve around you. All of the things I love are related to you somehow. I let myself rely on you for almost everything. Now all I have is myself, and I'm not even sure if I have that. It feels like you took me too when you left. You took my heart and all I am now is this empty shell, I'm hallow inside and I don't know how to fix myself."

I dropped my stuff and fell to my knees. "Oh, god!"

I cried and cried. I hadn't realized how much pressure I had been suffocating under.

"Fuck." Evan kneeled beside me. "I'm so sorry Ivy. I'm so fucking sorry." He put his arms around me, and I let him comfort me.

"Look at me, Evan. What happened to me?"

"I did.." I felt him pat my hair as he rested his cheek on my head. "I happened. You're like this..because of me. I did this to you. I'm so sorry."

"Why did you leave me Evan, what did I do wrong?"

"Ivy, you know you didn't do anything wrong. You know it was all my fault."

"But I must have done something. Something, anything, that made you sleep with her."

"You know you didn't. It wasn't my plan to sleep with her. I was drunk, I was stupid. I have to live through hell every single day because of my mistake."

I cried harder. Evan held me tighter.

"The shittiest part is that I took you with me, straight to hell, without even realizing it."

"I loved you so much..and you hurt me so bad."

"I know.."

*Evan's POV*

"I know.." I whispered to her.

I closed my eyes, hoping this was all just a dream, but when I opened them I was still in the same place.

"I keep hoping this is all just a bad dream. That I'll wake up in a few minutes, in your arms, and it will still be the middle of the summer."

I smiled sadly. "You read my mind."

"I loved you so much, Evan."

"And I loved you."

"I guess it wasn't enough."

She cried even more. This was the most I've seen any girl cry, let alone Ivy.

"If I could, I'd go back in time and cut off my own dick, just for you. Hell, I'd go back and re-do everything. I would change it so you never would have met me, so I wouldn't have ever had the opportunity to put you through any of this."

Ivy hugged me closer to her. "Please don't say that. Don't say you want to go back and never meet me."

"That's not what I meant-"

"I know, but it's still what would happen. And believe it or not, I don't want that to happen." Ivy leaned back to look at me. "I would go back and live through it all again, just to fall in love with you all over again. Believe it or not, the falling is way more fun than the landing."

I gave a small laugh as I wiped away the remainder of her tears. "I would too, believe me I would."

"I loved you, Evan."

*Ivy's POV*

Evan looked at me, his hand cupping my cheek. "I love you, Ivy. I'll never stop."

And then he leaned in, and I didn't stop him.

Right there, in the middle of the school, on the floor of the hallway. Evan kissed me for what could be the last time ever.

I didn't think about anything else besides Evan and how his lips felt against mine. It was like taking a dip in the pool after being unable to for a long, hot summer. It was like experiencing your favorite sensation for the first time again.

His fingers weaved into my hair and mine were around his neck. Our lips moved together like one, slicing through the water like it was butter and we were the knife. We both smiled into the kiss.

There was a warmth in my stomach that I hadn't felt in months. There were no butterflies. No, it was more like an archer taking practice shots in my stomach. It wasn't just a single firework, it was the fucking Disney World fireworks show. Mickey and the whole damn gang.

I felt his tongue, a familiar yet foreign touch, against my lips and-

It snapped my back to where I was, who I was with, what I was doing. How I was cheating on Chris.

I pushed Evan away suddenly.

"Oh holy fuck."

Evan smiled at me, "Yeah."

"No." I stood up and picked up my stuff. "No, no, no!"

"Ivy, what's wrong?" He started to stand up and I started to back away.

"No." I help my hand up. "This is a mistake, a big mistake. I have a boyfriend!"

"Ivy-"

"I'm sorry, Evan." I started to back away faster. "I'm so sorry."

Then I turned and did what I do best. I ran.