Surprise Me

Have you ever been so frustrated about something that you wished you could just forget about it? Has there ever been this one person you just couldn’t get out of your head and you didn’t know why? If you haven’t then you are one lucky person because I can tell you it fucking sucks. It sucks even more when the person you can’t get out of your head doesn’t feel the same way. How is it that I know all of this? Well it just so happens that I’m in this exact situation. I just can’t seem to get Pat Kirch out of my fucking head.

Two days ago I decided to tell my best friend Pat my true feelings for him. Biggest mistake of my life.

~2 Days Ago~

“Thank you Phoenix!!! I fucking love all of you!!” John yelled as he ran off stage. Garrett, Kennedy, Jared and Pat followed closely behind.

“Sammie!! “ John exclaimed pulling me into a hug.

“Ewww, John get off of me. You’re all sweaty!!” I squealed as the tall boy embraced me.

He chuckled and pulled away. “How’d we do?” A chorus of ‘yeahs’ was heard from the rest of the guys.

“Ehhh, it could have been better.” I said with a smirk.

I watched as their faces fell and I laughed. “Geeze, guys I was kidding!! You guys were amazing as you usually are.”

“Usually? More like always.” Garrett said arrogantly.

I rolled my eyes at his comment. “I only said usually to excuse the fact that you’re not always amazing Gare Bear.” I smirked.

“You just got pwnd dude!!” Pat exclaimed, grinning at me. I locked eyes with him and grinned. The familiar feeling I always got in the pit of my stomach was back.

Pat Kirch was one of my best friends. I had been best friends with him for my entire life. Our mom’s had been best friends throughout high school and college and my mom was pregnant with me when Pat’s mom was pregnant with him. It was basically fate that we would become friends. There was one small problem though, over the years I have developed feelings for Pat, feelings that I definitely shouldn’t feel for my best friend. In fact I’ve had crush on him since our freshman year in high school. We’re both twenty now, so six years. Six years that I’ve been keeping this secret from him. But that was about to change.

“Pat, can I uh, talk to you outside for a sec?” I asked, biting my lip nervously.

“Oh, yeah sure.” He said.

I walked outside; taking a deep breath, hoping it would calm down the butterflies that had recently formed in my stomach. Pat followed close behind.

“So, uh what did you want to talk about?” He asked, shoving his hands in his jean pockets.

“Well….um….you see…I-I have to tell you something.” I said nervously.

“Just spit it out, Sam. You’re acting like you committed a murder or something.” Pat said grinning.

I gulped. “I-I love you, Pat.”I looked down not meeting his eyes.

“I love you too, Sam. I mean we are best friends.”

“I mean as more than a best friend, Pat.”

“Oh.” I looked up this time.

He sighed. “Sam, I-I have to go.” And like that he was gone.

~End Flashback~

Sam, is everything ok?

Sammie, please text me back :(

We’re all worried about you.

Did you die?

I had to chuckle at the last text message, which happened to be from Garrett. It’s been two days since Pat left me standing there after I had told him how I felt and I’ve been hauled up in my small, yet comfortable, one-room apartment.

I’ve been thinking over everything that had happened. I couldn’t believe that he would just leave me standing there after I pretty much poured my heart out to him! I was angry, depressed, hurt and so much more, yet for some reason I couldn’t get Pat Kirch off my mind. I’ve tried everything from watching tons of chick flicks to stuffing lots of junk food down my throat but nothing seemed to work. No matter what the asshole who had pretty much ripped my heart straight out of my chest was still on my mind and that just frustrated me even more.

I had been ignoring calls and texts from the guys since I got home after the concert. Almost all of the voicemails and texts left on my phone consisted of ‘where are you?’ and ‘are you ok?’ or some type of variation of those questions. To answer the first question, like I said before I’m in my apartment and obviously the answer to the second question is no. I’m not ok. One of my best friends fucking broke my heart into a million pieces less than forty-eight hours ago.

I’m so pissed off at him. What kind of friend just fucking leaves their friend standing there?! Especially with the conversation that had occurred five seconds before hand!! I hate him. I hate him so fucking much and I never want to see his pathetic face ever again!! In fact he can go burn in the fiery pits of hell for all I care. Yes I know that’s harsh but I don’t really care!! Being pissed off and frustrated at the same time is not a good combination with me.

My rant was soon interrupted by a knock at the door. I sighed as I walked from my bedroom to go answer it, figuring it was one of the guys coming to check on me. I smiled slightly, hoping to fake whoever it was out. I didn’t really feel like explaining what had happened. I mean up until two days ago no one but me knew about the feelings I had for Pat and I was hoping that Pat hadn’t said anything and that it would stay between the two of us. As I opened the door my fake smile fell. There stood the person who I had hoped I would never have to see again. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he was looking down at his feet which made his long hair fall in his face.

“What are you doing here?” I hissed, my eyes narrowed.

“U-um, can I-I come in?” He asked nervously.

“I’m sorry, but I do believe I have a policy against douche bags being allowed in my house.” I went to slam the door but he stopped it with his foot.

“Please, Sam just let me explain.” He begged.

I rolled my eyes and opened the door, allowing him to walk in. Why I was doing so, I have no idea but for some reason I was. Maybe just so I can hear what he has to say. I looked at him and raised my eyebrow. “Are you going to talk or what? Because if not then you can escort yourself out.”

He sighed. “Sam, I’m sorry that I left you there after the concert. It was a total douche bag move and I shouldn’t have done it.”

“You think?” I muttered under my breathe.

“T-there’s a reason I left though.” He stuttered slightly and I couldn’t help but think how cute it was. No! “You hate him now, remember?” I thought to myself.

“Continue.”I said.

Now this is where he’s going to tell me he doesn’t feel the same way and that he hopes that we can still be friends. I already have my answer ready. We obviously can’t. I mean even when I’m pissed off at him I can’t get him out of my head, so there’s no way we could ever still be friends.

“I-I love you, Sam.” He said. I looked up my eyes wide. Ok, maybe I didn’t see that one coming.

“You what?” I asked.

“Dammit, Sam! I fucking love you! I panicked and I didn’t know what to say so I ran. You just took me by surprise and I understand that you’re probably pissed off at me and that you never want to see me again, but I just figured you should know.” I stood there shell-shocked. He sighed and walked towards my front door when I didn’t say anything. I heard the door slam and that’s when I snapped out of my trance.

I quickly sprinted out the door and saw him getting ready to get in his car. “Pat!! Wait!!” I called.

He looked up surprised to see me. I jogged over to him and did the one thing that I had wanted to do for years. I crashed my lips down on his. He was shocked at first but soon he began to kiss back. My hands found their way to around his neck as his wrapped around my waist. It was obvious that we both had wanted to do this for a while now.

We both pulled away, slightly out of breathe. His forehead was resting against mine. “I love you too, Pat.” I said in between breathes.

His face lit up. “Why is it that you always find a way to surprise me?”