I'm Dancing on the Ceiling

I just stared at him.

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, come on, Clary, you didn’t really think I wouldn’t find you, did you? I swore to you that you’d be mine forever.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stepped backwards as he advanced towards me.

“Please, don’t,” I begged. He chuckled, the sound as low and threatening as I remember it.

“Honestly, Clarissa, you’re so… childish. You could’ve saved yourself from this. Really. You could’ve just stayed with me and everything would’ve been alright. I love you,” he said. I glared at him.

“Yeah, sure, you did. You only made my life hell for a year and a half before I managed to get out. And since then, my life has been great. I haven’t missed you for a second!”

He strode across the room as I backed up into the wall and pressed me against it, hands wrapped tightly around my neck. I couldn’t breath.

“Please. Don’t do this,” I choked out. He chuckled darkly and leaned in, pressing his mouth flush against my ear as he spoke, his hot breath making my blood run cold.

“You are mine, Clarissa Bowen. Don’t ever forget that,” he said and one hand ripped my shorts open. I whimpered and closed my eyes, praying it’d be over.

“CLARY! HEY! CLARY! WAKE UP!” someone yelled, their voice distant but so close. I struggled against my tormenter as he easily slipped my shorts down.

“No,” I sobbed and I felt someone’s hand soft against my shoulder, shaking me. I jerked awake and looked around. I was on the floor of the studio, completely dressed and he wasn’t there. Alex was though, and he was sitting beside me, looking concerned. I felt the tears dripping down my face and the sweat on the back of my neck, not just my hands shaking but everything else was as well.

“Alex,” I hiccupped. He lifted me off the ground where I was laying on my stomach and into his arms, holding me against him like a small child.

“What’s wrong?” he asked gently.

“He- I- Nightmares,” I finally answered.

“How’d you get down here?” he asked.

I shrugged, “No idea. But then again, I do that sometimes. I’ll fall asleep in a chair or something and then find myself on the floor.”

“That’s… weird.”

“That’s me,” I quickly replied and wiped my eyes. “I thought my nightmares were gone. I thought I was done with those. Guess I was wrong.”

“When did they start? Originally,” he asked, running a hand through my hair. I rested my cheek against his collarbone and thought about his question.

“I’ve had them all my life, really. But they only come when I’m scared or stressed about something already. I remember my first one, when I was 5. I was scared about the first day of school, so I had this horrible nightmare where I walked into the school and all of the teachers had ice picks and started chasing me through the halls until I was locked in the library, hiding in the return box. My kindergarten teacher broke down the door and they were all over the place, calling my name and mocking me. One of the janitors found me and then they all just started hitting me with the blunt end of their axes until I woke up screaming. But the worst part about them is that they feel so real. It’s so hard to tell if I’m dreaming or if it’s reality, until I wake up.”

Alex was rocking me, I realized as my eyelids started to droop.

“It’s alright. You’re safe now. No one’s gonna hurt you. I promise,” he whispered that last part. I hummed as I nuzzled into Alex. He easily lifted me up as he stood, and shifted me so I could wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He kept an arm underneath my ass to hold me up as he grabbed my notebook from a music stand and headed out. I felt like a child but seeing as I kept drifting back in and out of sleep in his arms, I wasn’t exactly going to fight it. He got us to the hotel fairly quickly considering and into the elevator, although I’m sure people were staring.

“Clary, what floor?” he asked.

“Six?” I said softly, although it sounded more like a question. And suddenly, his hand was in my back pocket, pulling out my room key.

“I promise, I’m not feeling you up.”

I giggled tiredly as I heard the key card swipe through the lock and the beep as the lock clicked open. Alex carried me into the room and then into the bedroom, unlatching me from him. He helped me into bed where I turned onto my side and curled up with a pillow.

“Would it be wrong for me to ask you to stay?”

“Not one bit,” he replied and kicked off his shoes and crawled into bed behind me, resting a hand on my side protectively. I smiled into the pillow and closed my eyes, willing my mind to shut down. And thankfully, for the first time in a long time, it did. It settled down, and so did I, falling to sleep fairly quickly.