I'm Dancing on the Ceiling
Seventeen
Alex walked me all the way back to my hotel room, where we hung out for quite a while, kissing and talking. He finally pointed out the lilies.
“Who left you those?”
I stared at him.
“You didn’t?”
“Noooooooooooo,” he said slowly. I closed my eyes and breathed slowly before opening them back up. He was staring at me, looking just as scared as I felt.
“Who left them?” I asked out loud. Alex got up and walked over to them. He picked them up and read the card aloud.
“I can see why you thought I left them,” he replied.
“I just thought it was a coincidence that they’re my favorite flower. I didn’t even think about it,” I thought absently, speaking too quickly. I couldn’t calm my thoughts. I couldn’t think of anything but him coming back. I couldn’t think past that. I was scared. I was properly scared.
“Clary? Are you alright, hun?”
“No,” I said, my voice raw and scratchy, the way it got as I was about to start crying. He noticed and came back to me. Now, I don’t trust everyone automatically. And I don’t trust a lot of people. After him, I rarely trusted anyone at all. But Alex had saved me from that little shit, Gary. He’d backed off when he saw I didn’t want to talk. He had never given me a reason to believe he’d hurt me. Overall, he was a good guy. He deserved to be trusted.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, settling us both down on the couch. I kept looking around, worried. He guided my face back and made me look at him, where I was met with his caring smile and a bat of his lashes. “No one’s gonna get you. Not while I’m here.”
I sighed and rubbed my hand along my jaw.
“I had this boyfriend. He was pretty important to me. He encouraged my music and told me that I could get anywhere in the world. He told me I could get out of Iowa and travel the world. At 16, that’s all I ever wanted. I wanted to be happy with him. I wanted the world, and I wanted him. And then, he started hanging out with these really bad guys. He started drinking and smoking all kinds of drugs. He changed. Oh, God. He changed so much. He was my everything until that moment when he wanted nothing more than to see me cry because he was hurting me.”
Alex took my hands in his and rubbed them gently with his thumbs.
“He liked to make a game out of it. How quickly can I make Clary cry? How many bruises will I give her today? That went on for a while. I’m ashamed to say how long I let him push me around like a rag doll. But I finally decided that I had lost my Mason, my everything. I left Iowa. I dropped out of school. I left my family and my life, and just went. I ended up in Georgia, far from that life. I changed my name. I changed everything about myself, from my identity to what I looked like to where I hung out. But I’m still afraid that, maybe, one day, he’ll find me.”
Alex didn’t judge me. He didn’t say anything, actually. He gathered me up in his arms and held me against him until I was almost asleep. He took me into the bedroom and found me some pajamas to wear. I got dressed behind his back, pulling on the black striped camisole top and matching plain black pants. He took off his pink Glamour Kills hoodie and helped me into it before throwing the lilies away from the bed and helping me under the covers.
“Stay with me,” I requested. Alex joined me, kicking off his shoes.
“What did you look like before?” he asked curiously.
“I was a redhead.”
He paused for a second before asking, “Really?”
“Mmmmmmmmhm.”
“I bet you made one gorgeous redhead,” he commented.
“That’s why I’m so pale and freckly. It’s the redhead genes,” I yawned. He kissed my neck and nuzzled his nose against the soft hairs at the nape of my neck.
“Goodnight, baby,” he mumbled as we both fell asleep.
“Who left you those?”
I stared at him.
“You didn’t?”
“Noooooooooooo,” he said slowly. I closed my eyes and breathed slowly before opening them back up. He was staring at me, looking just as scared as I felt.
“Who left them?” I asked out loud. Alex got up and walked over to them. He picked them up and read the card aloud.
“I can see why you thought I left them,” he replied.
“I just thought it was a coincidence that they’re my favorite flower. I didn’t even think about it,” I thought absently, speaking too quickly. I couldn’t calm my thoughts. I couldn’t think of anything but him coming back. I couldn’t think past that. I was scared. I was properly scared.
“Clary? Are you alright, hun?”
“No,” I said, my voice raw and scratchy, the way it got as I was about to start crying. He noticed and came back to me. Now, I don’t trust everyone automatically. And I don’t trust a lot of people. After him, I rarely trusted anyone at all. But Alex had saved me from that little shit, Gary. He’d backed off when he saw I didn’t want to talk. He had never given me a reason to believe he’d hurt me. Overall, he was a good guy. He deserved to be trusted.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, settling us both down on the couch. I kept looking around, worried. He guided my face back and made me look at him, where I was met with his caring smile and a bat of his lashes. “No one’s gonna get you. Not while I’m here.”
I sighed and rubbed my hand along my jaw.
“I had this boyfriend. He was pretty important to me. He encouraged my music and told me that I could get anywhere in the world. He told me I could get out of Iowa and travel the world. At 16, that’s all I ever wanted. I wanted to be happy with him. I wanted the world, and I wanted him. And then, he started hanging out with these really bad guys. He started drinking and smoking all kinds of drugs. He changed. Oh, God. He changed so much. He was my everything until that moment when he wanted nothing more than to see me cry because he was hurting me.”
Alex took my hands in his and rubbed them gently with his thumbs.
“He liked to make a game out of it. How quickly can I make Clary cry? How many bruises will I give her today? That went on for a while. I’m ashamed to say how long I let him push me around like a rag doll. But I finally decided that I had lost my Mason, my everything. I left Iowa. I dropped out of school. I left my family and my life, and just went. I ended up in Georgia, far from that life. I changed my name. I changed everything about myself, from my identity to what I looked like to where I hung out. But I’m still afraid that, maybe, one day, he’ll find me.”
Alex didn’t judge me. He didn’t say anything, actually. He gathered me up in his arms and held me against him until I was almost asleep. He took me into the bedroom and found me some pajamas to wear. I got dressed behind his back, pulling on the black striped camisole top and matching plain black pants. He took off his pink Glamour Kills hoodie and helped me into it before throwing the lilies away from the bed and helping me under the covers.
“Stay with me,” I requested. Alex joined me, kicking off his shoes.
“What did you look like before?” he asked curiously.
“I was a redhead.”
He paused for a second before asking, “Really?”
“Mmmmmmmmhm.”
“I bet you made one gorgeous redhead,” he commented.
“That’s why I’m so pale and freckly. It’s the redhead genes,” I yawned. He kissed my neck and nuzzled his nose against the soft hairs at the nape of my neck.
“Goodnight, baby,” he mumbled as we both fell asleep.