‹ Prequel: Let Me Be The One To Save You
Status: I'm baaaaaaaack!
Forever & Always.
I'll Never Let Them Hurt You
The journey from Dublin airport to my hometown was so familiar to me by now that I no longer paid attention to it; instead I let my mind drift as the familiar streets flew past in grey and green blurs. The memory of the last time I saw Gerard, nearly a week ago now, before I left came to mind.
I always felt so comfortable in Gerard’s room. It was the only place that I never felt judged. It always smelled of him and, even after all these years, that smell was still comforting. The raven haired man sat on his bed, a smile on his face when he saw me come in.
“Hey C,” He smiled that cheesy grin that always made me smile back, no matter how foul a mood I was in.
Already he was looking better. His shaggy black hair was freshly washed and no longer hung in greasy waves on either side of his face. His complexion was also much better; it was still as pale as a vampire’s but is was no longer as oily and pasty. Despite the obvious withdrawals he was going through he didn’t look like he was suffering, instead he had that sweet smile on his face, the one that he only seemed to have when he was around me. It was amazing how quickly my old friend was coming back.
“Hey Gee,” I attempted to return his smile but could tell by his reaction that I hadn’t pulled it off very well.
His mouth turned into a small frown and his eyes darkened with sadness, “What’s wrong Sugar?”
The breath caught in my throat. The sound of that nickname falling from his lips never failed to make my heart stutter. It reminded me of better times, times when we were happy together and our future together lay in front of us, full of possibilities. Times when there was no doubt that we would spend the rest of our lives together.
“Uhm Gee…I have something to tell you. Something that I think you’re not going to like.”
I’d never forget the hurt look in his eyes when I told him that she was leaving again. No matter how much I tried to reassure him that I’d be back, he still sat there on his bed, tears threatening to brim over. He wouldn’t talk to me much, just told me he understood why I had to go, but that he was upset. I assured him that I’d only ever be a phone call away and that all the guys were here for him, but he argued that a phone call would never be enough. At that moment I couldn’t help but feel bitter, when he had left me all those years ago all I had were phone calls and he’d assured me they’d be enough.
Eventually he had agreed that he’d try to stay strong without me and I’d told him how proud I was. We had said their goodbyes that night because I knew that if I had to see him again before I went to the airport that I’d never actually leave. One more look into those puppy-dog eyes and I’d be convinced to stay, despite the fact that Oisín needed me more.
The taxi pulled up outside the very familiar house that I had spent most of my childhood in. I climbed out of the car and took the case from the driver who kindly took it out of the trunk for me before I paid him. The car drove off and I took a deep breath before making my way up the driveway to knock on the door and greet my mother on my unannounced visit.
Surprisingly, my mother was happy to see me arrive unexpectedly on her doorstep. In fact, I think it was the happiest she’d ever been to see me. When I told her why I had come home so soon she immediately began searching the phonebook for the young boy’s phone number and residence, it was nice to see her supporting me. Together we eventually found the only Duffy family within Oisín’s school’s catchment area.
“Thanks mum, you’re the best!” I smiled at her and gave her a quick hug before grabbing the keys to her car. “I’m gonna go see what’s going on with Oisín now. I’ll be back in a bit.”
She nodded and returned my smile, “I’ll have some veggie pizza here when you get back.”
It was nice how she didn’t protest what I was about to do. Neither of us knew what it would be like when I arrived at Oisín’s house. He hadn’t really told me much over the phone; he was far too upset to even speak. I just hoped that I’d get to his house in time, before he did anything stupid. I cared so much for the teenager that I’d only known a short amount of time. Maybe it was because I knew what he was going through, after losing two of my own friends to suicide when I was a teen. Or, maybe it was because he reminded me so much of Frankie sometimes that I couldn’t help but become attached to the young boy because he had reminded me of the times that I thought I had lost and would never experience again.
I pulled into the housing estate that Oisín’s family apparently lived in. It was not the nicest of places and was known to be a bit of a rough area. Most of the houses were council owned so most of the residents were on benefits, and some weren’t the nicest of people. The houses themselves were, for the most part, run-down and dilapidated. I couldn’t imagine sweet Oisín living in this place.
I pulled in at the house numbered twelve, the one that I had down as Oisín’s family’s house. Without stopping to think about it too much, I all but ran up the driveway, avoiding the random debris scattered across the concrete. I rapped twice on the old wooden door and stood awkwardly on the doorstep awaiting an answer, occasionally looking apprehensively over my shoulder as I could feel the neighbour’s eyes watching me.
Eventually the door opened and I gasped at the sight. Oisín didn’t look anything like the boy I had left behind only a few weeks ago. His face and arms were bruised and cut, his hair was greasy and I could see blood matted in the brown. When he realised who I was, his shadowed eyes widened and he brought a hand up as if to cover his face but it was too late.
“Oh Oisín,” I mumbled and opened my arms to him. He collapsed into the immediately, sobbing unashamedly, “Who did this to you, hon?”
Instead of answering me he just shook his head and howled an inhuman sounding cry. Neighbours had begun opening the front doors to see what the cause of the commotion was so I hid Oisín’s face from view and pulled him into his house, closing the door behind us. I sat him on the couch in the living room. It was then that I saw the empty vodka and Jack Daniels bottles. The sight of them along with Oisín’s appearance made it click together in my mind. I remembered the comment made to me by Oisín at the MCR show: “ Sometimes I wish you could be my mum”. At the time I had been confused but now it all made sense. It was obvious who had hurt Oisín.
I sat down beside the snivelling boy and wrapped an arm around his shaking shoulders, “Oisín, hon, this is gonna be hard to answer but… is your mom the one who hurt you?”
Wordlessly he nodded before burying his face in his hands and sobbing once more. Right then I decided that I couldn’t leave him here, not with a parent who beat him. I was going to take him with me, away from this horrid place.
It took a while to get Oisín calmed down enough for me to tell him what was going to happen, but eventually I go him to go upstairs for a shower whilst I gather enough clothes in his room to last him a couple of days at least.
When he emerged from the bathroom I had him write his mom a note explaining that he would be gone a while and may not be returning at all. Then, together, we grabbed his bags and left the house. Oisín’s shoulders visibly lifted and I hoped that this meant that he was happy about my decision to get him out of there.
We drove around for a bit, neither of us saying much. Oisín looked preoccupied with his own thoughts, which was unsurprising, and I was wondering what we’d do now that he had left his mom’s house.
“Oisín,” I said quietly, breaking the silence after over twenty minutes. He looked over at me but didn’t say anything so I continued talking, “Where’s your dad? I mean, it just seems like he doesn’t live in that house with you and your mom.”
There had been no evidence of a father in the house and it made me wonder whether there was somewhere the teenager should live now that he had left his home.
The brunette just shrugged and grimaced, “My parents divorced a few years ago. Mum said it was ‘cos dad was too in love with his job, but I’m pretty sure it was more to do with the young secretary who often ‘worked late’ with him.” He shook his head, a half smile on his face, “The man’s a moron.”
“So…he’s not around?” I asked tentatively. Divorce was a touchy subject for most kids, and when I had been their age I could never understand why. At least the kids whose parents got divorced knew where both their parents where and could visit the one who didn’t live with them. My father walked out and I never saw him again.
Oisín shrugged again, “He lives in Dublin, but we don’t see each other much. Not since mum started drinking. He doesn’t want it to be blamed on him.”
As we drove I couldn’t help but keep glancing at the marks covering Oisín’s face and arms. I couldn’t believe that his mother could do such a thing to him. When I was a teen my mom and I hadn’t gotten along all that well but she’d never beat me. I had to know how long this had been going on for.
“Oisín, does this happen often?” I asked, my voice soft and concerned as I gestured to his face.
He shook his head, “Not really. I mean, she never hit me before this year. She’s always been a mess since dad left, but this year she just went crazy. She drinks every night and sometimes, when she’s hurting, she takes it out on me. She just feels so alone, y’know? Like, my dad left her for someone else and here she is: four years down the line and not a single boyfriend in all that time. She gets angry and I just happen to be in the way.”
It hurt me to see how he defended her. He was so convinced that his mom still loved him. I, on the other hand, failed to see that. If she loved him she would never have raised a hand to her little boy. I didn’t want to see him go back there. Ever.
“Do you have any family you can stay with?”
He shook his head, “Nope. Dad’s family don’t talk to me because he doesn’t, and Mum was an only child.”
I nodded and bit on my lip as I concentrated on the road. It was beginning to rain and the sky had becoming a depressing grey colour. “Oisín, how about you come back to Jersey with me for a while?”
He turned his head to look at me and furrowed his brow, “Why would you do that for me?”
“Because I care about you and I don’t want you going back to that house, okay? I don’t want you getting hurt again.”
The young boy chewed on his bottom lip as he mulled over what I was offering him. This wasn’t going to be an easy decision for him but I hoped he’d choose to come with me.
“It wouldn’t be easy to arrange it though, would it?” He said finally as I turned the car into the housing estate my mom lived in. “I mean, they’re not just gonna let you take me out of the country, are they?”
I laughed a little, “No, of course not, but I know someone who works as a social worker who could help sort this all out.” Claire Bray had gone to college with me but we had gone our separate ways when we had pursued our Master Degrees. We were still close though and I knew she’d help me with getting Oisín into my care, “As long as your dad agrees it should be okay.”
We pulled into the driveway and I saw my mom open the door, she’d obviously been waiting for me to return home. Her face was creased with worry and I smiled reassuringly at her through the window hoping to calm her nerves.
“While we get this all sorted – because it will take a little while,” I told him seriously. I had to make sure he realised that this would be a long enough process and that it may not be easy. “You can stay here with me and my mom, is that okay?”
He nodded, “That sounds great. But, why will it take so long?” His face was glum, now that he had made the decision to leave Ireland I think he just wanted to get out as soon as possible.
“Well we’ll need to discuss it with your dad, get custody signed over to him because your mom is unfit to look after you,” I shot him an apologetic look when I said that, realising it sounded a bit harsh. “And then we need to get me permission to become your guardian. And, on top of all that, we’ll need to sort out Visas for you to live in the States long term.”
His green eyes widened with disbelief, “That’s gonna take forever!”
“I have ways of speeding it up a bit,” I winked, laughing. “Now c’mon, let’s go meet my mom.”
We linked hands and I led him up to my mom’s house, hoping that all this would work out and I could give the young boy the life he deserved.
I always felt so comfortable in Gerard’s room. It was the only place that I never felt judged. It always smelled of him and, even after all these years, that smell was still comforting. The raven haired man sat on his bed, a smile on his face when he saw me come in.
“Hey C,” He smiled that cheesy grin that always made me smile back, no matter how foul a mood I was in.
Already he was looking better. His shaggy black hair was freshly washed and no longer hung in greasy waves on either side of his face. His complexion was also much better; it was still as pale as a vampire’s but is was no longer as oily and pasty. Despite the obvious withdrawals he was going through he didn’t look like he was suffering, instead he had that sweet smile on his face, the one that he only seemed to have when he was around me. It was amazing how quickly my old friend was coming back.
“Hey Gee,” I attempted to return his smile but could tell by his reaction that I hadn’t pulled it off very well.
His mouth turned into a small frown and his eyes darkened with sadness, “What’s wrong Sugar?”
The breath caught in my throat. The sound of that nickname falling from his lips never failed to make my heart stutter. It reminded me of better times, times when we were happy together and our future together lay in front of us, full of possibilities. Times when there was no doubt that we would spend the rest of our lives together.
“Uhm Gee…I have something to tell you. Something that I think you’re not going to like.”
I’d never forget the hurt look in his eyes when I told him that she was leaving again. No matter how much I tried to reassure him that I’d be back, he still sat there on his bed, tears threatening to brim over. He wouldn’t talk to me much, just told me he understood why I had to go, but that he was upset. I assured him that I’d only ever be a phone call away and that all the guys were here for him, but he argued that a phone call would never be enough. At that moment I couldn’t help but feel bitter, when he had left me all those years ago all I had were phone calls and he’d assured me they’d be enough.
Eventually he had agreed that he’d try to stay strong without me and I’d told him how proud I was. We had said their goodbyes that night because I knew that if I had to see him again before I went to the airport that I’d never actually leave. One more look into those puppy-dog eyes and I’d be convinced to stay, despite the fact that Oisín needed me more.
* * *
The taxi pulled up outside the very familiar house that I had spent most of my childhood in. I climbed out of the car and took the case from the driver who kindly took it out of the trunk for me before I paid him. The car drove off and I took a deep breath before making my way up the driveway to knock on the door and greet my mother on my unannounced visit.
Surprisingly, my mother was happy to see me arrive unexpectedly on her doorstep. In fact, I think it was the happiest she’d ever been to see me. When I told her why I had come home so soon she immediately began searching the phonebook for the young boy’s phone number and residence, it was nice to see her supporting me. Together we eventually found the only Duffy family within Oisín’s school’s catchment area.
“Thanks mum, you’re the best!” I smiled at her and gave her a quick hug before grabbing the keys to her car. “I’m gonna go see what’s going on with Oisín now. I’ll be back in a bit.”
She nodded and returned my smile, “I’ll have some veggie pizza here when you get back.”
It was nice how she didn’t protest what I was about to do. Neither of us knew what it would be like when I arrived at Oisín’s house. He hadn’t really told me much over the phone; he was far too upset to even speak. I just hoped that I’d get to his house in time, before he did anything stupid. I cared so much for the teenager that I’d only known a short amount of time. Maybe it was because I knew what he was going through, after losing two of my own friends to suicide when I was a teen. Or, maybe it was because he reminded me so much of Frankie sometimes that I couldn’t help but become attached to the young boy because he had reminded me of the times that I thought I had lost and would never experience again.
I pulled into the housing estate that Oisín’s family apparently lived in. It was not the nicest of places and was known to be a bit of a rough area. Most of the houses were council owned so most of the residents were on benefits, and some weren’t the nicest of people. The houses themselves were, for the most part, run-down and dilapidated. I couldn’t imagine sweet Oisín living in this place.
I pulled in at the house numbered twelve, the one that I had down as Oisín’s family’s house. Without stopping to think about it too much, I all but ran up the driveway, avoiding the random debris scattered across the concrete. I rapped twice on the old wooden door and stood awkwardly on the doorstep awaiting an answer, occasionally looking apprehensively over my shoulder as I could feel the neighbour’s eyes watching me.
Eventually the door opened and I gasped at the sight. Oisín didn’t look anything like the boy I had left behind only a few weeks ago. His face and arms were bruised and cut, his hair was greasy and I could see blood matted in the brown. When he realised who I was, his shadowed eyes widened and he brought a hand up as if to cover his face but it was too late.
“Oh Oisín,” I mumbled and opened my arms to him. He collapsed into the immediately, sobbing unashamedly, “Who did this to you, hon?”
Instead of answering me he just shook his head and howled an inhuman sounding cry. Neighbours had begun opening the front doors to see what the cause of the commotion was so I hid Oisín’s face from view and pulled him into his house, closing the door behind us. I sat him on the couch in the living room. It was then that I saw the empty vodka and Jack Daniels bottles. The sight of them along with Oisín’s appearance made it click together in my mind. I remembered the comment made to me by Oisín at the MCR show: “ Sometimes I wish you could be my mum”. At the time I had been confused but now it all made sense. It was obvious who had hurt Oisín.
I sat down beside the snivelling boy and wrapped an arm around his shaking shoulders, “Oisín, hon, this is gonna be hard to answer but… is your mom the one who hurt you?”
Wordlessly he nodded before burying his face in his hands and sobbing once more. Right then I decided that I couldn’t leave him here, not with a parent who beat him. I was going to take him with me, away from this horrid place.
It took a while to get Oisín calmed down enough for me to tell him what was going to happen, but eventually I go him to go upstairs for a shower whilst I gather enough clothes in his room to last him a couple of days at least.
When he emerged from the bathroom I had him write his mom a note explaining that he would be gone a while and may not be returning at all. Then, together, we grabbed his bags and left the house. Oisín’s shoulders visibly lifted and I hoped that this meant that he was happy about my decision to get him out of there.
We drove around for a bit, neither of us saying much. Oisín looked preoccupied with his own thoughts, which was unsurprising, and I was wondering what we’d do now that he had left his mom’s house.
“Oisín,” I said quietly, breaking the silence after over twenty minutes. He looked over at me but didn’t say anything so I continued talking, “Where’s your dad? I mean, it just seems like he doesn’t live in that house with you and your mom.”
There had been no evidence of a father in the house and it made me wonder whether there was somewhere the teenager should live now that he had left his home.
The brunette just shrugged and grimaced, “My parents divorced a few years ago. Mum said it was ‘cos dad was too in love with his job, but I’m pretty sure it was more to do with the young secretary who often ‘worked late’ with him.” He shook his head, a half smile on his face, “The man’s a moron.”
“So…he’s not around?” I asked tentatively. Divorce was a touchy subject for most kids, and when I had been their age I could never understand why. At least the kids whose parents got divorced knew where both their parents where and could visit the one who didn’t live with them. My father walked out and I never saw him again.
Oisín shrugged again, “He lives in Dublin, but we don’t see each other much. Not since mum started drinking. He doesn’t want it to be blamed on him.”
As we drove I couldn’t help but keep glancing at the marks covering Oisín’s face and arms. I couldn’t believe that his mother could do such a thing to him. When I was a teen my mom and I hadn’t gotten along all that well but she’d never beat me. I had to know how long this had been going on for.
“Oisín, does this happen often?” I asked, my voice soft and concerned as I gestured to his face.
He shook his head, “Not really. I mean, she never hit me before this year. She’s always been a mess since dad left, but this year she just went crazy. She drinks every night and sometimes, when she’s hurting, she takes it out on me. She just feels so alone, y’know? Like, my dad left her for someone else and here she is: four years down the line and not a single boyfriend in all that time. She gets angry and I just happen to be in the way.”
It hurt me to see how he defended her. He was so convinced that his mom still loved him. I, on the other hand, failed to see that. If she loved him she would never have raised a hand to her little boy. I didn’t want to see him go back there. Ever.
“Do you have any family you can stay with?”
He shook his head, “Nope. Dad’s family don’t talk to me because he doesn’t, and Mum was an only child.”
I nodded and bit on my lip as I concentrated on the road. It was beginning to rain and the sky had becoming a depressing grey colour. “Oisín, how about you come back to Jersey with me for a while?”
He turned his head to look at me and furrowed his brow, “Why would you do that for me?”
“Because I care about you and I don’t want you going back to that house, okay? I don’t want you getting hurt again.”
The young boy chewed on his bottom lip as he mulled over what I was offering him. This wasn’t going to be an easy decision for him but I hoped he’d choose to come with me.
“It wouldn’t be easy to arrange it though, would it?” He said finally as I turned the car into the housing estate my mom lived in. “I mean, they’re not just gonna let you take me out of the country, are they?”
I laughed a little, “No, of course not, but I know someone who works as a social worker who could help sort this all out.” Claire Bray had gone to college with me but we had gone our separate ways when we had pursued our Master Degrees. We were still close though and I knew she’d help me with getting Oisín into my care, “As long as your dad agrees it should be okay.”
We pulled into the driveway and I saw my mom open the door, she’d obviously been waiting for me to return home. Her face was creased with worry and I smiled reassuringly at her through the window hoping to calm her nerves.
“While we get this all sorted – because it will take a little while,” I told him seriously. I had to make sure he realised that this would be a long enough process and that it may not be easy. “You can stay here with me and my mom, is that okay?”
He nodded, “That sounds great. But, why will it take so long?” His face was glum, now that he had made the decision to leave Ireland I think he just wanted to get out as soon as possible.
“Well we’ll need to discuss it with your dad, get custody signed over to him because your mom is unfit to look after you,” I shot him an apologetic look when I said that, realising it sounded a bit harsh. “And then we need to get me permission to become your guardian. And, on top of all that, we’ll need to sort out Visas for you to live in the States long term.”
His green eyes widened with disbelief, “That’s gonna take forever!”
“I have ways of speeding it up a bit,” I winked, laughing. “Now c’mon, let’s go meet my mom.”
We linked hands and I led him up to my mom’s house, hoping that all this would work out and I could give the young boy the life he deserved.
♠ ♠ ♠
Title Credit: MCR (:Word Count: 2,457
AGH! I'm so sorry for the lack of updates I've been super lazy D:
DId everyone have a good Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) / New Year?
I got a panda pillow pet from my parents and a Snuggie from my grandparents. They're so awesome xD
I'm truly sorry for the lack of updates :/ I kept meaning to post this but I was just so happy to have some time off from school that I kinda put this story on the back burner. Sorry
And to make things worse...There probably won't be many more updates until after June :/
I have a shit tonne of work to do before my exams along with studying and the oral exams I have for both German and Irish. I'm pretty swamped. :/
Thank you guys for all the support
Neon_Skies_Killjoy
untitledusername
Bubbleloveworld
FezAndClogs
rivals are insane
paint.it.black.
goesincircles.
eyesrockingout [x2]
GuessWhatYouForgot
XxYouthandWhiskeyXx
mucho12345
Crash Poison
KilljoyKaitlin [x2]
Thank you all so much for your constant support and please bare with me and the lack of updates <3
Oh and next chapter is in Gee's POV ;D