About a Girl

After wandering around the carnival for a good hour, Kurt and I decided to abandon Heidi. She seemed to have vanished among the balloons and cotton candy. This sudden disappearance didn’t seem to bother Kurt, but it began eating away at my mind.

In my head, Heidi had gone back to her lover on the side. For all I knew, they were destroying the couch’s innocence back at the apartment. There wasn’t much for me to do about that, however, but I knew one thing for certain. I had to keep Kurt away from that place.

So when Kurt suggested heading back to the apartment in search of Heidi, I avoided going there like the plague. “Come on, Kurt. Going back there right now is like admitting defeat. There’s a whole night out ahead of us.”

Overhead, a few drops of rain began to patter on the tops of our heads as we strolled in the direction of the car. I was a little sad that I wasn’t out in a full-blown storm. We made it to the car without issue, though the engine took a minute to turn over. I gently caressed the leather steering wheel and turned to Kurt.

“Ally, where are we going?” Kurt asked, climbing into the passenger seat after finishing up a cigarette.

“I don’t really know.” That answer didn’t stop me from firing out of the parking lot and onto the dark streets. The sun had set a while ago and the light from the day hours had faded into black. “Where do you want me to take you?”

“Really, I don’t mind.” Kurt told me looking over in my direction and then out the window. “Wherever you’re going…”

“I don’t know where I’m going yet… I just want to drive.” I flipped on the radio and the song ‘Fast Car’ by Tracy Chapman was playing. I smiled, “I’ve always wanted to just drive off like that and start over.”

Kurt grinned slightly, “Let’s just drive and see where we end up.”

I laughed, relieved that I didn’t have to fight to lure him from the apartment. My thoughts grew warmer and more contemplative. Probably a side effect of the rain which came down without end. “Is this the beginning of that road trip we talked about?”

“It should be.” Kurt told me fidgeting with the ends of his flannel shirt.

And so we drove setting off in no particular direction. Kurt and I talked about simple things and everything. There were moments where we were both perfectly in-tune with each other. For once I realized that I could carry on a conversation with someone without filtering anything I had to say. These were the moments I craved.

We drove a few towns over and stopped when we spotted a little antique store on the side of the road. The shop was unnamed which Kurt jokingly wondered if it was really an adult pleasure store. From the looks of the neatly pruned bushes and sky blue window panes, I highly doubted that.

The rain went into a brief remission so Kurt and I eagerly went inside to find hidden treasures. The lady behind the oak paneled counter, a woman of about fifty years old, smiled at us when we entered. The smell of old books and dust filled the air. It coated my lungs when I breathed in, but these places always felt like a second home.

Knick-knacks lay the length of an overused desk and I sauntered down the narrow walkway picking up pins and magnets here and there. I spotted one that said ‘Drop Acid, Not Bombs’ and it made me smile. Everything was stacked every which-way so I had to be careful just moving down an aisle. Kurt and I split up in the store, both hunting for different items, and I soon made my way to the records. I always seemed to end up there.

There were about ten cardboard boxes full of them. I flipped my hair over one of my shoulders and went to work. Most of the records were unimportant. There were hoards of Christmas albums, old broken 50’s albums, and countless Bruce Springsteen albums. But, like always, there were diamonds among the ruff. I found Pink Floyd’s “Animals”, Black Sabbath’s “Master of Reality”, and the Grateful Dead’s “Aoxomoxoa”. I even came across a couple of records that Kurt might like.

After leaving the record haven, I found Kurt on the complete opposite side of the store engrossed in a book. “What’d you find?” I asked him, bending closer to take a look.

Kurt looked up at me and I realized we were pretty close in proximity. “On The Road.”

“By Kerouac?” I questioned excitedly, backing away to break some of the tension between us. “That’s actually one of my favorite books!”

“It’s really good.” Kurt said and tilted his head to one side. “Of course I’m only on page twelve so I’m not sure.”

“I have a copy of it if you want to borrow it.” I offered shifting the records in my hands. “It would save you a couple bucks.”

Kurt laughed in surprise. “Most people wouldn’t say that.” He paused and then added, “And most people wouldn’t be here with me looking through dusty shelves and secondhand boxes.”
“Well, I’ve always thought that going in somewhere and finding who knows what is better than if you were to spend thousands of dollars on it.” I told Kurt with a shrug. “I think it has something to do with the memory attached to what you find.”

“I think so too.” Kurt said closing the book and standing beside me. “It means a lot more that way.”
I nodded in response, “I always wonder about who owned all this stuff.” I looked around at all the various items just lying around like a pair of discarded socks. There was everything from cheese graters to costume jewelry. I could never understand why people would give any of this stuff away.

“Yeah, I always want to know where they found this cool shit.” His eyes fell on the stack of records in my hands, “Find anything good?”

“These records.” I told him holding them out for his inspection. Somehow I found this test monumental to any other thing we had done in our relationship. Music was so important to both of us. “This is something I thought you’d like.” I pulled out ‘Yesterday and Today’ by the Beatles.

Kurt looked at it and laughed. “I remember my aunt had the butcher cover of this. I found it at her house as a kid and it scared me so much.”

I smiled at his story as we started to walk back to the front of the store to pay. With all the miscellaneous items strewn about, It still was difficult to know which end of the store was the front. “That’s one of the rarest Beatles items out there. She really had it?” I asked in disbelief, raising an eyebrow.

“Yep.” He replied smiling slightly. “I can’t vouch for the authenticity of the record, but she did have a copy of it.”

At that point we made it to the front and spread our merchandise out on the counter. The woman smiled at us again then asked, “How’re ‘yall doin’?” She had a thick southern accent.

“Pretty good.” I replied, digging around my pockets for money.

“It’s nice to see some more folks up here.” She spoke to us, making normal conversation. “Business has been slow. Not that I expect a stampede to come through here or something.”

“Well, I hope it picks back up for you.” I said honestly. She seemed like a nice enough woman.

“Thanks, hun.” The cashier grinned at me. Surprisingly, she turned the money I tried to hand her, “No charge for you.” I must have looked confused, so she clarified, “He already paid for the both of you.”
I looked at Kurt surprised, but he maintained an innocent appearance and wouldn’t look me directly in the eye.

We both left with our purchases as dark clouds loomed overhead. Kurt and I were heading back in the car to drive home. We had spent hours there, but it felt like much less time than that. Rain drops splattered on the car windshield as we drove off again. Kurt had insisted on driving back.

“It was nice spending time with you today.” I told Kurt, focusing on the road ahead. I watched it just like I was the one driving. “You didn’t have to pay for me either. That was really nice of you.”

He smiled slightly, blue eyes glowing. “Don’t worry about it.” After a moment of silence, he randomly added, “I never know what to expect with you.”

I didn’t know how to reply, so I settled on silence.

Kurt was a surprisingly safe driver and drove really slow. He kept his eyes on the road as I searched through static to find a decent radio station. The car started losing speed and he quickly pulled off the side of the road so we could figure out the problem. I noticed the gas gauge was pointed to empty.

“Uh… we’re out of gas.” I said, trying to remember the last time I filled the tank. For some reason, Kurt found it funny and laughed at our situation; we ran out of gas on the side of the road far from home in the rain. After a good five minutes of discussion, I approached the obvious question, “Should we walk somewhere?”

“I saw a rest stop about a mile back.” Kurt told me, trying to picture it in his head. “We can probably get some gas up there. I don’t think they would be closed.”

“Alright, let’s go.” I might have been a little too eager to climb out of the car and meet the rain. I mentally rejoiced in feeling the cool water droplets hitting my skin. It was on my most favorite feelings in the world.

After a moment, Kurt stood by my side, water drenching his blonde hair. He looked a little perkier in the rain and we both took an extended moment to look t each other before moving again. The road was situated up a slight incline. As we worked our way to the concrete, suddenly my foot slipped on the wet ground and I fell on my knees in the fresh mud.

Chuckling at the shocked look on my face, Kurt held a helping hand out to me to get me back on my feet. But when I grabbed his hand I pulled him right down in the mud with me. The surprise on his face was priceless.

“That’s called karma.” I told him grinning from underneath his body. At that moment I froze, realizing how intertwined we were with each other physically and mentally.

Kurt’s grin mirrored mine as he studied my facial features closely. I turned away a little embarrassed at the attention he was giving me. “Ally…” His voice was just loud enough to be heard over the rain, “I have to tell you that this is one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. Honestly.” He told me, struggling to find the right words. “I just feel real around you.”

My heart pranced wildly in my chest and I hoped the thunder would distract Kurt from noticing. I smiled a bit sheepishly. “I feel the same around you.” His body was quite distracting lying across mine. But I tried to explain my reasoning a bit more, “I just feel I can talk to you honestly without worrying about anything.” I brushed some wet hair away from Kurt’s eyes.

At that moment, I realized that Kurt and I were very similar people… I had never met anyone that was so much like me.

“I know how you feel…” He said quietly, closing his eyes for a brief moment. After a measured sigh and a look of indecision, Kurt lifted himself off of me and offered me his hand. “No messing around this time.”

I laughed loudly, “I won’t; I promise.”

My hand fell into Kurt’s. I looked at him for a moment hoping my attraction to him or the memory of his body would dwindle. I hoped I would forget everything that had transpired so I could move on in friendship and not get caught in the crosshairs of Heidi and my budding feeling toward Kurt. I hoped that my feelings would suddenly stop racing through my veins at the slightest tough.

They didn’t. And I was just going to have to deal with it.