About a Girl

Before I could think, Krist pulled me up out of the line of sight, shooing me up the stairs connected to the kitchen. I ran up the tiled staircase and got to the top out of breath. From my vantage point, I could just see the kitchen below without being spotted. As Heidi entered the room in a huff, Krist was bent down on the floor picking up the shattered mug pieces.

Krist looked up at Heidi and Kurt, “Shit. Sorry, guys.”

Worry was etched into Kurt’s features. He subtly scanned the room for my whereabouts, but came up empty. Only after his scan, did his body fall into a relaxed state once more. Meanwhile, Heidi looked totally unconvinced at the unfolding scene.

She placed a hand on her hip, “So you dropped that? No one else was in here…?”

“Sure wasn’t.” Krist replied, simply. I had to give him credit for how easily he could cover the situation under pressure.

Kurt raked a hand through his hair, “So if you want to continue the conversation…” He trailed the sentence off at the ends and motioned back into the living room. It was obvious that Kurt felt uncomfortable letting Heidi have free range of the entire house. Without knowing my current location, letting her into any other room was a high risk.

My heart rate began to settle into a normal range as Kurt and Heidi left the room. I never expected to feel any comfort at the two going anywhere together. But I felt safer in the upstairs wing of the house as opposed to waiting like bait to create unnecessary drama. The longer we could avoid letting Heidi know about Kurt and I, the better it was for all of us.

After feeling more at ease, I left the top of the staircase and slunk back into the upstairs hallways. To my surprise, I ran into a second set of stairs which descended back down into the main level. I mentally noted the fancy layout and figured these must have been the stairs which Kurt and I had first descended earlier in the night.

My speculation was correct as I could hear Heidi’s loud voice come into full focus from the living room below, “… connection with each other. I just don’t understand what the big deal is now and why you’re pulling away from me.”

Kurt took a measured pause before saying, “Everything happens for a reason. I think we need to call things off now. Then we both have a chance to find someone who is more suited for us instead of hanging on.”

“But that’s not what I want, Heidi interrupted. “You made a commitment to me.” Her talk about commitment was almost laughable to me since her track record of cheating was immeasurably long.

Kurt replied quietly, “This will be for the best for both of us. Your energy is terrific and it’ll bring you to someone who is better for you.”

Even when breaking up, Kurt had a way of crafting the outcome to sound better than the current situation. Instead of ‘loud and boisterous,’ Kurt chose to describe Heidi as having ‘terrific’ energy. I could admire that, but hoped to never experience one of these speeches in the future. Staying any longer in the conversation felt intrusive to me, so I quickly dashed across the landing and the other side.

After several tries, I finally found the door to Kurt’s room. This was probably the most comfortable place I could wait for the Heidi storm to pass. I re-took my position on the tangled sheets and tried not to slink back into memories from the previous night. Now being on my own, and without the distraction of Kurt, was hard to come to grips with reality.

I focused on my breathing to calm down my troubled mind. After a few minutes of solitude, a gentle knock came at the bedroom door. I remained silent because I had no idea who could be on the other side. After a moment the door slowly opened and Krist entered the bedroom.

I sat up in the bed and said, “Thanks for saving me back there. Is Heidi still here?”

He snorted, “Yeah, she’s definitely trying to get Kurt back. He’s sticking to his guns though.” Krist took a few steps forward and continued, “Sometimes he can be quiet, but he’s really opinionated when it comes to this stuff.”

“I can imagine.” I smiled, reminiscing over the past debates Kurt and I had had over music. Even the passion about those artists had been almost unmatchable.

“I just came to check to see if you were still alive after all that,” Krist told me. “and to see if you needed any food or water rations. There’s no telling how long she’ll string this out.”

I laughed quietly, “I think I’m okay on that front.” After a moment of contemplation, I bit my lower lip, debating if I should continue into uncharted territory.

Krist could tell I was having some sort of internal struggle and asked, “What is it?”

I sighed, “Well… I have to ask you something.” I shifted my body on the bed, trying to formulate the right set of words. “About Kurt. Is he doing okay? He hinted at something earlier in the night, but…”

Krist looked visibly uncomfortable and said unhelpfully, “The man does come with a myth. Most artists tend to have something in their history.”

“I just want to know where he stands. I’m worried,” I explained.

“Me too,” admitted Krist. “But I don’t think it’s my place to get too detailed without Kurt knowing. All I can say is to keep an eye on him. You keep him steady, Ally. I can already see that in him.”

My heart felt confused, not knowing how to react to Krist’s speech. The bassist exited the room shortly thereafter and I sat in silence trying to decipher his words. I didn’t want to invade Kurt’s privacy, but I wanted to help him tackle his demons, whatever they may be. Without knowing the problem, it was nearly impossible to come up with a solution.

An hour or two passed before the bedroom door re-opened. At this point, I had been slowly drifting in and out of sleep for a good amount of time. As I lay under the covers, Kurt sat on the bed next to me and brushed some hair behind my ear. I hazily smiled up at him, struggling to remain awake.

Kurt looked down at me, “She finally left. I’m sorry that shit took forever.”

I laughed softly, “It’s okay. I’m just glad that I wasn’t involved in some dramatic fistfight to win your affections.”

“Maybe next time,” Kurt joked.

From my position, I reached upwards and pulled his body onto mine. This wasn’t in such a heated, romantic way but more out of a need for closeness and affection. He rested his forehead on mine and inhaled deeply. Gently, I stroked the sides of his cheek feeling the bit of stubble that remained there.

Kurt kissed the corner of my mouth softly, “This feels right.”

The troubles about Kurt that had been plaguing me slowly melted away. The worries took a backseat to the new emotions stirring within me. It was probably too early to call them anything other than caring, but it felt a hell of a lot like love.

Krist’s words from earlier floated around in my head as I gave in to a kiss, then another, and then another from Kurt: You keep him steady, Ally.