About a Girl

I sat down in front of my easel in my room, working on a painting of the night sky. I thought it was turning out beautifully; the stars were bright with a dark background and it looked as though you were soaring through the night sky.

I had paint on my hands and my shirt. Trying to get a shooting star perfect, I smudged my finger against the canvas but I couldn't concentrate. I just kept seeing the sadness on Kurt’s face while he was on stage. It was like it was haunting me; I couldn’t get it out of my head.

Throwing down my paint brush, I grabbed my sketchbook from on my bed. I found a dull pencil with grey lead and went to work. Kurt’s hunched position over his guitar, the way his hair fell into his eyes, and most importantly the look on his face, flowed out of my memory and onto the paper. The look got to me the most; it was a mixture of sadness and disappointment. After I had just gotten it drawn perfectly, I heard the apartment door being unlocked.

I glanced at the arms of the clock. It was almost four in the morning and I hadn’t even noticed; I was so engrossed in my work. Flipping my sketchpad to the front cover, I left it on my bed.

“You’re still up?” Heidi questioned as she caught sight of my befuddled appearance.

Rubbing my eyes, I told her, “I was drawing.”

She rolled her eyes, clattering her keys on the wooden side table. “Still? You need to find something more productive.”

I shook my head wondering how Heidi was the one giving me this advice. After that I decided to change the subject rather quickly, “You’re in late.”

Heidi smiled, looking a little strained. “I was out with Kurt and those other two guys.”

“Krist and Dave.” I said quietly, not wanting to fully interrupt the story.

“Yeah, them.” She said, uncaring. “Anyway, after you left things went great. We all talked, went out for a little something to eat, and I gave Kurt my number.” Practically glowing, she paused, swelling with pride, “And guess what?”

“What?” I asked, knowing it's exactly what she wanted to hear.

“He said he’ll call.” Heidi squealed. “Isn’t that great?”

“It sure is.” I said unenthusiastically. I hoped Heidi couldn't hear the dead tone to my voice. Then curiosity got the better of me. “You didn’t sleep with him did you?”

“No.” She answered, sounding rather disappointed. For some unknown reason I was relieved, maybe from the lesser chance of spreading STDs around. Heidi smiled again, “I’ll make it happen soon enough.” Walking to her bedroom door she paused there, and before going inside added, “He’s a great kisser.”

I sighed aloud and flopped down on the couch. I thought Kurt was different than other guys, and usually I was a pretty good judge of character. But I guess I was wrong about him.

***

I was woken up by the annoying, constant ringing of the telephone. I rolled over in bed, wishing I didn't have to leave the comfort of my pillows. I could feel creases from the night's rest across my cheeks; imprints left by the bangles on my arm. Slowly, I picked the phone up off the hook. “Hello?”

The voice sounded too excited for the morning. “Ally?”

“Who is this?” I asked, groggily.

“Kurt.” He replied, after a pause. “You do remember me don’t you? After the concert?”

I laughed a bit because his words sounded like a one night stand gone bad. “Of course. I just woke up, so I’m a little out of it. Plus, I haven't had my coffee yet either.”

“Sorry about that. It's not even worth getting up if there's no coffee around.”

“I know. I can drink it any way, I don't even care. Black. Only sugar. Sugar and creamer.” I said, rambling.

"I'm the same way." He told me. "Honestly, I'm already on my third cup for the day. I think I have a problem."

"Lucky bastard." I grumbled, hearing Kurt chuckle. “Sorry. Here I am ranting about coffee and you called for a reason. Did you want to talk to Heidi?”

“Oh.” He said and his voice fell. “Um, can you tell her I’ll be over in a little bit?”

“Sure.” I replied, feeling the happy phone atmosphere dim a little. “Anything else?”

He shifted the phone to his other ear, “Will you be there?”

I was a little confused as to why he was asking, but answered nonetheless. “Yeah, I will.”

Quickly, I gave him directions over to the apartment, complete with a few landmarks to help him on his way. After hanging up, I banged on Heidi’s door. “Heidi? Rise and shine. Good morning starshine; the earth says hello.”

“What?” She hissed like a snake through the door. "I'm trying to sleep; I'm not in the mood for this shit."

“Kurt’s coming over in a little bit.” I told her, losing some of my pep. “He just called a minute ago for you.”

I heard her jump out of bed, hitting her knee against something solid as she did. “I missed the call?” She asked after a string of profanities.

“Yep.” I answered, simply.

“Shit, I have to get done.” She bounded toward her bathroom and started the water for the shower, faster than I had ever seen her before.

I shook my head and laughed a little while going into my room to get dressed. I found my favorite pair of jeans with gnarly rips in the knees and threw them on. Then I grabbed a Led Zeppelin tour shirt I found at a thrift store and wore it too.

I sat in the family room and flipped on MTV. Nothing too interesting was on. Opening my sketchpad again, I just started to draw more to my Kurt Cobain picture when there was a knock on the door. Wishing for some peace, I sighed and went to answer it.

Kurt smiled when he saw me standing in the open doorway. “Hey.”

Really, I couldn’t help but grin back at him. “Hey there.”

“Can I come in?”

How could I say no to those blue eyes? “Of course.” I answered holding the door out wider so he'd have enough room to pass by me. “Just make yourself at home.” I told him and sat back down with the drawing.

He took a seat next to me on the sofa and put his feet up on the table, just as I glanced up at the TV. “Oh hey, look you’re on.” They just started playing ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ video again.

Kurt groaned and turned off the TV, draping an arm across his eyes. “That’s all they ever talk about.”

I laughed still drawing, making swooping motions with the pencil. “Yeah, I’ve noticed; they play the video every hour.”

He laughed softly, then opened his eyes, turning his head towards me, “What are you working on?” Kurt asked leaning over to see. It was a half-finished sketch of him on the sofa that I just started moments before. “Me?” He grinned widely.

I nodded, half-smiling. “I hope you don’t mind. I love drawing different people. Still-life is what gives me trouble.”

“It’s fine.” Kurt assured, handing me back the drawing. “It looks really good.”

“Thanks.” I smiled, to sketch more details into the picture. “You know, the eyes are the hardest part.” I commenting as I started working on his. “You have to get the raw emotion and feeling in them or the picture won’t work. It’s my favorite part.” I got the feeling from his eyes down on paper; still sad, but with a twinge of joy and a little worry. “There.” Handing him the sketchbook, our fingers brushed along the way.

“Wow…” Kurt said studying the picture. “Do you have more of these?”

Tapping the book, I nodded. “You can look through them.”

He flipped through the book, through pictures of Heidi and her many boyfriends, a child playing in a rain puddle, and a dog with its tongue out laying in the street. “These are so life-like.” He stopped and paused at a picture of a man bending down on one knee in front of a woman.

“That’s my favorite.” I told him. You could see the love in the man’s eyes and the shock and joy in the woman’s. It was the one thing I made sure radiated through the picture. “He proposed to her right on that bridge.”

“She said yes, didn’t she? I can tell by the eyes.” He told me grinning.

Then there was a loud bang, and the clatter of something falling, before Heidi’s door burst open. “Is he here?” She asked, though it sounded more of a demand. Stopping short when she saw Kurt, she put on a seductive smile. “Oh… hey.” Heidi was squeezed into another tight dress, riding much too short. “Ready to go?”

“Sure.” Kurt replied, though he sounded somewhat reluctant. “Bye, Ally.”

Grabbing Kurt by the hand, Heidi pulled him into the hall outside.

“Bye.” I managed to say quietly just as the door slammed shut.