About a Girl

Rain misted onto my face as I walked slowly in the dark towards my apartment. I’d been out the whole day finding new people, places, and things to draw. It was a common pass-time for me and it always worked out well; I had about eight new drawings only from this afternoon. It started all-out pouring just as I reached the overhang to unlock my apartment door. In a way I was a little disappointed not to be caught out in the tempest; I loved the rain.

Holding my sketchpad under one arm, I unlocked the door and shuffled inside. I stopped short when I saw the scene before me: Heidi was leaning over Kurt kissing him on the living room sofa. They broke apart quickly when they noticed my presence. There was a moment of silence where Heidi stared at me livid, Kurt avoided my eyes, and I just stood there awkwardly.

“Sorry.” I mumbled, ducking out of the room and making a bee-line to my bedroom.

That was a little too much of their relationship than I wanted to see. I felt like the younger sister coming home to early to find her older sister caught in a precarious situation. But it also made me angry; Heidi was just using Kurt as she did with so many other men. She would get bored in a matter of weeks and move on after causing lasting damage. She was like a parasite.

After a few uneventful minutes, there was a sharp knock on my bedroom door. “Ally.” It was Heidi's voice filtering through the wood, and she sounded annoyed.

Unmoving from my comfortable bed, I called, “What?”

“There’s some guy at the door who says he knows you.” She told me, sounding a little creeped out.

Wondering who would be visiting me, I pulled myself off of my bed and went to open the front door. “You just let him stand out there in the rain?” I asked Heidi, beginning to turn the lock on the door.

She shrugged, wrapping her arms tighter around Kurt, “What was I supposed to do?"

I shook my head in disbelief thinking she could have at least offered him an umbrella. Swinging the door open, I could hardly believe my eyes. “Cory!” I jumped into his familiar arms and ruffled his curly black hair. It was slightly damp from the rain. “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you call?”

“I like to keep things mysterious.” He joked, leaning in to kiss my cheek. Holding me in his arms a few inches away, he studied me, “It’s been so long. I thought I’d stop by and see how my best friend is doing.”

“I’m glad you did.” Smiling, I hugged him again. “Wow, I just can’t believe it. You look a little different now then when I saw you last.”

“Hopefully, that's a good thing.” Cory chuckled, holding his chin up. "How are my dashing good looks doing?"

Rolling my eyes at him, I playfully pushed him away. "Still as cocky as ever, I see."

Scrutinizing his face, I tried to figure out what was different about my best friend. I hadn't seen Cory in well over a year and he still looked like, well, Cory. His curly black hair fell a little into his warm brown eyes, just the right length to cause problems. Pushing it back with one hand, the lean muscles in Cory's arms were still visible; he had gotten his fair share of manual labor from his love of building architecture.

Sighing inwardly, I turned to Heidi and Kurt. They both looked confused staring back and forth between the two of us. “Heidi and Kurt.” I said, using names as an introduction. “This is my best friend, Cory.”

“Nice to meet you guys.” Cory said to them, waving a hand at him. “Wait... Are you Kurt Cobain? Like, from Nirvana?”

Kurt nodded, and replied quietly. “In the flesh.”

Cory walked over to him, and shook Kurt’s hand. “I really like that new album of yours.”

“Thanks.” Kurt replied, simply.

“So this is your friend?” Heidi asked smiling, studying the two of us. I knew she was wondering if he was more than that. Since I never brought any guys to the apartment, she always thought I had some secret lover.

“Yep.” Cory replied, looking over at me. “Ever since fifth grade.”

I smiled, remembering the year. “In Mrs. Carol’s class. Man, we had some great times in there.”

Cory laughed with me, thinking of one of our countless pranks we had pulled. “Remember that one time with the glue?”

"And the feathers?" I laughed even harder. “She hated us.”

“I think that whole class did.”

Before I could reply, Heidi said, “Well, this is wonderful you’re here. We can all go out for dinner now and you guys can get caught up.”

“That sounds great; I’m starving.” Cory said, oblivious to Heidi's motives.

“We can all just walk to the restaurant down the street.” I suggested, pulling on my pair of Converse that were sitting by the door.

“Tina’s Diner?” Cory asked, steadying me when I almost fell to the side.

I gave him a grateful smile, and nodded.

“Wow, I can’t believe that place is still open.”

“I know. It's still going strong after all these years and health code violations.” I chuckled, while tying the laces. “But what would Americans do without their greasy food?”

“True.” Cory said, as I stood up next to him again.

“Ew, it’s raining.” Heidi commented, peering out the door. “I think Kurt and I are going to drive there.”

“Actually I’ll walk.” Kurt told her, joining the group by the door.

Heidi looked a little mad, but controlled her emotions. “Fine then. I’ll drive and save us a table, and maybe we won't have to wait as long.”

Truthfully, we hadn't had to wait at Tina's Diner since Heidi had fooled around with the co-manager, but all I said was, “See ‘ya there.” as she ran out to her parked car.

Cory wrapped his one arm around my waist loosely, like he had so many times before, as the three of us walked. The gesture wasn't unwelcome, it was just a little strange and uncomfortable after our most recent history together.

“What do you do?” Kurt asked Cory to break the silence that had been setting in.

“For a job?” Cory clarified, glancing at Kurt. “I’m an architect actually. But in college I’m studying business.”

“That’s boring, Cory.” I told him pushing him playfully. Honestly, it bothered me that he was studying business rather than the path that would make him the most happy.

“Well, it’s nothing like being a rock star.” Cory said with a goofy grin plastered on his face. “That must be amazing to live that dream. That's what all of us want as teenage boys, right?”

“It’s alright.” Kurt shrugged, looking forward as he spoke. “It has its perks.”

“The girls alone would make it worth it.” Cory laughed, giving my hip a squeeze.

I frowned slightly at the flow of conversation. It didn’t seem like Cory had changed all that much from before. I saw Kurt look over at me out of the corner of his eye to catch my expression.

We arrived at the diner soon after that and took our seats. Heidi played with Kurt’s hair as our orders were being taken, feeling the locks between her fingers. “You know, I think you should cut all of this off. It looks a little too messy.”

“Don’t do that.” I spoke up without thinking. It seemed like everyone at the table was looking at me as if I had done something completely out of the ordinary. “I mean… it looks good long.”

“I agree.” Kurt said, meeting my eyes and smiling.

After a few moments of general chatter, Cory asked, “Can I talk to you Ally? Outside?”

“Sure.” I said, pushing back my chair. I noticed Kurt looked after me as I stood and left. Cory pulled me outside into the cool weather and slung his arm around my shoulders. The rain had stopped and was replaced by a chilly breeze. “What’s all this about?” I smiled slightly, feeling very safe at that moment.

Cory didn’t answer me, he just looked. I could see the reflection of myself, wind-blown hair and all, in his chocolate eyes. Without warning, het leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, kissing me softly; the kind of kiss that used to make me weak at the knees. I pushed him away quickly after that. “What?” He asked, completely oblivious to the fueling emotions running through me.

“Is this why you’re here?” I asked, frustrated at his calm demeanor.

“I know we’ve been on and off again since… what? When we were thirteen?” Cory told me, bringing me closer again. “And I know I've fucked up. But I’m ready to commit to you now.”

“Cory… that’s what you said last time.” I reminded, wishing he would just drop the entire subject. “And then I caught you in bed--.”

“It was a mistake, Ally.” Cory told me. "Can't you understand that? People fuck up all the time. Things happened in the past that I wish I could take back, but I can't. All I can do is apologize for them now and hope you can move past it all."

“Listen, you’ll always be my best friend.” I spoke, sighing aloud. “But I’m not sure if I’m ready to be in a relationship with you again; you broke my heart.” That was an understatement; Cory had taken my heart and shattered it into countless puzzle pieces.

“How many times do I have to apologize?” Cory asked, getting frustrated. He let go of me and threw his arms up skyward in the air.

“I’ve already forgiven you.”

“Then what the hell’s all this?” He demanded, staring me down. "I don't want to deal with this bullshit, Ally."

“I don’t have to be with you, you know.” I told him, making my voice sound strong. “There are plenty of other people out there.”

“You can’t love everyone.” Cory said coming closer to me, and talking much softer. “It's impossible to make your heart feel something that isn't there. And I know you love me.”

“I used to.”

“Don’t talk that way.” Cory told me, turning my face to look at him. "Open your eyes."

I shook my head back and forth feeling rather childish.

"Damn it. Stop this." He held onto my arm, crushing it in his grasp.

“Ow, stop. That hurts.” I said, desperately trying to tear it away from his grip.

“What you’re doing to me hurts too.” Cory said angrily. "Can't you see that?" He forcefully tried to kiss me again, but I avoided his lips.

I pushed him away once more, this time managing to pull completely away. “Just cut it out, okay?”

“Ally?” Someone called from behind me. I turned to see Kurt standing there, framed by the outline of the storm clouds overhead and the neon lights of Tina's Diner. His hair blew gently in the wind as he watched me looking worried.

“Hey Kurt.” I said, hoping I sounded halfway normal.

“Can you give us a minute?” Cory asked, harshly. "I'm trying to have a conversation." All the admiration Cory had for Kurt flew out the window.

Kurt didn’t even make eye contact with Cory at all while he asked me, “Ally do you want me to take you home?”

I nodded, feeling completely drained. Kurt strided across the pavement towards me, laying a soft hand on my shoulder. Together, we walked away into the churning storm.