An Unexpected Something New

“What could we possibly have to talk about?” Hannah didn’t put up much of a fight as she stepped aside allowing Derek to walk through the door. “How did you even get my address?”

“Hannah,” Derek wasn’t about to let her push him away and he wanted to say what he had to say before he didn’t have the nerve. “I need to talk to you. Please just listen.”

“I thought that we talked about everything last time you were here,” she wrinkled her brow and looked at him bewildered. She tried to have an attitude but her curiosity still had the best of her. “What the hell are you doing here? You don’t have a game.”

“I know. I came to see you. I flew in this morning and I’m leaving tonight.”

“I don’t understand…That’s a lot of travel in one day…” Hannah was confused and unassuming. It didn’t make any sense why he was standing in front of her and she didn’t have the strength to argue with him over the state of their dead relationship.

“Come sit down.” Derek motioned next to him as he took a seat on her couch. “You know Pittsburgh was in town last night, right?” He was uncomfortable and stiff and clearly had a lot on his mind that he needed to get off his chest.

Hannah’s heart started to beat a little faster. “Yeah, I know.” She didn’t want to admit she’d watched every game when Sid was away.

“Okay,” Derek took a deep breath and willed himself to say what he had to say. “I probably should back up. Han, last time I was here when you and I met up…there is something I didn’t tell you.”

“What?” She was still trying to make sense of everything but couldn’t imagine where Derek was taking this.

“The night before I met up with you, I barged in on Crosby.”

“You…you did?”

“Yeah. I told him everything I told you, the problem was I didn’t know that you and him…knew each other,” he said begrudgingly.

“Okay…So, where are you going with this?”

“Han, the guy is in love with you. He told me. I wasn’t exactly happy about it and of course I wasn’t about to tell you that morning I saw you because, why would I want to send you off running into his arms? You know? But, I realized that I had no right to resent him for falling for you. I mean… I understand why he did.”

“So what are you telling me this for?” Hannah was having a difficult time catching her breath.

“When we played each other here in Pitt I told him to go after you and never let you go.” It was clear that Derek’s confessions weren’t easy for him to spill but he did it nonetheless. He hated the fact that he was encouraging the girl he loved, the girl he should have married, to run into the arms of another man.

“Der…I don’t, why would you tell him that?” Hannah was trying to wrap her mind around everything Derek was telling her. She had so many feelings, so many emotions flowing through her veins that she didn’t have any sort of sensible reaction for him. She didn’t understand his reasoning and she wanted to keep her wall up as long as she could.

Derek let out a deep breath before putting his hand on her thigh, “I gave him my blessing, not that he even needed it, but I gave it to him because I know you two love each other, and he isn’t me. Han…you deserve so much better than me, than what I gave you, and he,” Derek looked down and shook his head before looking back up at her. “Crosby’s the one who is going to give you what you need.”

“How…how could you possibly know that Derek?”

“I know you turned him down. He told me last night and the poor bastard is devastated. As much as part of me wants to cheer and beg you to take me back I know that wouldn’t be right. See, I did a lot of things wrong by you and I’m trying to do one thing right.”

Hannah couldn’t control it anymore, tears openly streamed down her cheeks and her skin tingled. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, when Crosby told me that you turned him down, and told me why, I realized it was my fault. I want you to know I’m sorry for what I did to you, and I know it made you cynical, I know, but I can promise you that not everyone cheats Han. I fucked up, yeah. But not all the guys do. And I don’t want you to throw away the chance to be happy…even if it isn’t with me…because you’re afraid.”

“Did he send you here or something?” Hannah asked frantically.

“No,” Derek shook his head still in disbelief he was doing this. “He doesn’t even know I’m here.”

“You’re telling me the truth?”

“Han, you don’t know how much I hate stepping aside like this, but after what I did to you it’s the least I can do.” He gave her thigh a little squeeze and ran his other hand gently down her cheek feeling the wetness from her tears.

Hannah grabbed Derek’s hand as it fell from her face and pulled him into her for a hug. It was the most she let her guard down since before the wedding because she knew he was telling her the truth, and she knew he was right. She loved Sidney, she’d told Derek as much last time she had seen him…but she still pushed him away.

Derek closed his eyes and breathed Hannah in as he embraced her. He’d managed to break his heart more than it was already broken but he wanted to redeem himself. He’d ruined so many things for Hannah and betrayed her so badly. She really had been the light of his life and she deserved to be happy, not suffer because of his transgressions. “I feel for the poor guy. He really does love you Han, and it’s killing him that you’re pushing him away. He didn’t sleep with that girl, he only went out with her because he thought you and I got back together and it killed him. Trust me, that is probably the worst feeling in the world and as a guy who can’t stomach seeing the girl he loves be with someone else, cut him a break. Unlike me, Crosby couldn’t sleep with someone else no matter how hard he tried, and he wouldn’t even try. You’re the only one he sees.”

“Really? How do you know?” Hannah asked sincerely still baffled by this brick of information Derek had thrown at her. It wasn’t like she didn’t know how Sidney felt about her, it just was hard for her to believe he wouldn’t hurt her the way Derek did.

“To be honest? Because I know exactly how he feels. I unfortunately know how it feels to love someone so much and not be able to be with them. The difference is, it’s my fault entirely. Crosby hasn’t done anything wrong and if you give him the chance I don’t think he’ll let you down. He’s a good guy.”

“Wow,” Hannah pulled away from him and cradled Derek’s face in her hand. “I still can’t believe you’re here saying these things and…I never would have thought it in a million years. I mean it’s you. And you’re encouraging me to be with another man.”

“I didn’t want you to look back and always hate me.”

Hannah shook her head and gave a smile she couldn’t help but gush. “I couldn’t now even if I wanted to.” She needed to hear everything he told her, and he was right, she was holding back because she was terrified of being hurt again. But for Derek to go completely out of his way and say the things he had said to her, if he thought Sid wouldn’t hurt her there had to be a reason for it. Maybe she was fighting it because deep down she knew it too.

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know yet,” Hannah answered honestly. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t need details,” Derek grinned, “but are you going to tell him how you feel about him? I mean you told me so don’t be stubborn and hold back from him.”

Hannah slowly nodded her head, “Yeah, I am. He needs to know.”

“Oh man,” he sighed. “It kills me I let you get away,” he ran his hand through her hair, “but I want you to be happy. I really do.”

“I know,” she smiled. “I know that now. Hey, do you want to get something to eat?” After what he’d just done for her it was her way of giving him her version of a peace offering.

He pursed his lips together and shook his head. “No. I mean, I would love to, but I can’t. I have to go and catch my fight back home, plus it’s really hard to be around you knowing I can’t have you, that you’re already off the market for good.”

“For good?” Hannah looked at him quizzically even though she knew what he meant.

“Yeah Han. For good,” he replied confidently as if she should have already known. “You and I both know once you and Crosby get together there’s no turning back.” He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips for what he knew was the last time. “Remember, he isn’t me.” With that he pulled away and looked at her with tears in his eyes before turning and walking out the door. He’d done what he came to do but it didn’t make his heart hurt any less.

*****

“I’m ready to be home and sleep in my own bed,” I threw my head back on the headrest of the seat I was occupying on the bus. We finished up our little road trip and were finally almost home. I was tired of sleeping in unfamiliar hotel beds and waking up in different cities. As much as I love my job, sometimes I felt the weariness hit and with my current emotional state I was over it. The three-day break before our next game, which was home was a welcomed one by me.

“I know what you mean,” Jordan sighed next to me. “I want to go out later though, blow off some steam. What do you think about that? You in?” What did I think about that? I didn’t really have the energy to go out but I knew what Jordan was doing. He wanted to cheer me up and get my mind off everything. More specifically he wanted to get my mind off Hannah. “I don’t know man, maybe. I’m tired. We’ll see.”

“You just let me know.”

“Of course,” I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath as I relaxed in my seat. My muscles were tired, my brain was tired, my heart was barely beating. The rest I could get seemed to take precedence over partying.

I could feel the seat move as Jordan turned and sat up straight to talk to me. “You know you don’t have to be so,” I didn’t know what Jordan was going to say next but he stopped talking when his phone started buzzing in his lap. His train of thought paused and he looked at it with curiosity, “hold on,” he put his index finger up as he answered clearly unsure of the person on the other end. “Hello?”

I noticed his face go from a wrinkled, curious grimace to a smiling, welcoming expression as he flickered his eyes to me then quickly down to his lap. “Yeah, sure, what’s going on?” I couldn’t hear the person on the other end but I heard Jordan’s side of the conversation. “Really? Yeah, no problem. Hey look I’m actually on my way home now,” he glanced at me for a second and hesitated before continuing, “Can I shoot you the info over in the text? Ok I’ll do it now. No it’s no problem at all. I’m glad you called.” He hung up with a goofy grin and shook his head in disbelief.

“What was that?” I couldn’t help being nosey. He looked too happy and I could only imagine it was a girl he’d met that he planned on taking to bed at the first opportunity.

“Oh,” he snapped out of his little giddy-fest, stopped texting and looked at me as he nervously swallowed. “Nothing. Nothing important anyway.”

“Bullshit. Who was that? Was it that girl you went out with the other night?”

“Um, yeah,” he fidgeted with his hands and didn’t look at me. “We had a really good time so I told her to call when we got back from our trip.”

“Look at you,” I teased. “Same girl for seconds. Must have been a really good night.”

“Yeah, it definitely was,” he said mindlessly, barely paying attention to me as he started to text what I was sure was sexual promises over to his mystery woman. “Hey,” he snapped up and turned towards me. “Change of plans. You go home and do your rest thing. I’m going to go home myself.”

“I kind of figured.” He had a better option now so of course I was off the table. “At least one of us is going home to a good night,” I shrugged.

“Yeah,” he grinned again. “You don’t know how right you are.”

*****

It felt like a year since I’d pulled into my driveway and there were no words to describe how happy I was to be there. It was dark and cold and nothing excited me more than the fact that I was about to walk through the door, put on pajamas and veg on the couch. My couch. I walked through the garage and opened the door inside, except it wasn’t dark the way I left it. There was a warm light softly illuminating the house. My lights were off as I immediately checked to see if I left something on while I was away, but I soon noticed the lighting source came from candles. I dropped my stuff on the floor confused and walked in further trying to figure out what was going on. I followed the flickering light to the kitchen where I literally felt my heart stop. There in front of me, in my kitchen, was Hannah leaning over the table placing a plate down and setting the table.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of her and I was too shocked to speak. I just looked at her and stared aimlessly convinced it was a mirage. As she pulled back from the table she finally felt my eyes on her and she gasped as she turned her head and finally saw me.

“Sid! You’re timing is perfect! I just took a dinner out of the oven for you,” she gushed as she walked towards me nervously. Her pace slowed though and I could see how unsure she looked. Her chest was rapidly rising and falling. Her eyes were searching mine for a reaction.

“Hannah…what are you doing here?” I was caught off guard and still trying to believe it was really her. I’d thought about her the entire time we were gone but somehow she looked more beautiful than I remembered. My breath hitched in my throat as she stood in front of me more vulnerable than I’d ever seen.

“I…I made you dinner. I hope it’s okay. I called Jordan and he told me how I could get in. I…I wanted to surprise you.” She closed the small gap between us and I lightly felt her fingertips graze my hands. “I needed to talk to you and I wanted to do it in person.”

“You, uh, you certainly surprised me,” I muttered out. “You look so beautiful.” I couldn’t help breathing out my inner thoughts and obvious feelings. I hadn’t even realized it slipped out of my mouth until I saw the relieved smile spread across her face.

Hannah pushed closer to me and my heart started racing harder in my chest. I felt the warmth from her body closing in on mine as she rested her fingers on my waist, stood up on her toes and pushed her lips against mine. My body went numb as my lips moved back against her soft ones and my hands found her hips. It was the most sensual, sexy kiss I’d ever experienced; completely taking my breath away. She slowly pulled away and slid her hand up resting it on my shoulders so that she could scratch at the short hairs on the back of my neck. “Sid,” she looked down at the ground and took a deep breath before looking back up at me with tears in her eyes. “I love you too. I should have told you that a long time ago but I was scared. You were right. I pushed you away because I’d never felt anything like how I felt for you before, with anyone. I…I didn’t want to admit to loving you so much because losing you would hurt too bad.”

“That won’t ever happen,” I breathlessly interrupted and crashed my lips down on to hers again. I wanted to silence any more doubt she may have had. I wanted her to know I wasn’t going to hurt her and that the only thing she should be scared of was the fact that she was stuck with me for the rest of her life. I’d fantasized of her telling me this for so long and I wasn’t sure I ever would. Now that she was here kissing me, telling me exactly what I wanted to hear it was so much better than I imagined. My heart pounded and I was overwhelmed with love for this beautiful creature.

This was the first time I didn’t have any questions as to how she felt about me, the first time I wasn’t hesitant or afraid to show her how much I wanted her because I finally knew she felt the same way. I pulled her to me harder than I probably had before and kissed her like the sun may not come up the next day. I ran my mouth down her neck and held her sides in my waist before trailing down to her luscious ass. I swiftly picked her up and held her bridal style, “I love you,” I looked into her eyes before pressing my nose to hers. She had her arms wrapped around my neck and let me carry her up the staircase into my bedroom almost like a scene from those old romantic movies. I slowly laid her down on the bed and crawled beside her.

“I love you Han,” I kissed her softly on the lips, “and I want you to know I won’t ever pressure you. I won’t push. I promise you.”

She looked up at me with those big blue eyes that I had me hooked from day one and bashfully smiled at me. “I know you won’t. I just want you to be happy…”

“I am. Now,” I said referring to the fact that she finally let me in and that we were finally together. No more game playing. “I’ll wait for you for as long as you want to wait. I don’t know when we’ll be at that point, but if you wanted to wait until we were married I’d wait for you. You’re so worth it.”

“Married…?” I could hear the slight panic in her voice and see the nervousness in her eyes as they opened wide like saucers.

Shit. I hadn’t meant to sound like such a pussy—thinking about marriage and all—but I’d be lying if I told her it wasn’t something I wanted. I never wanted it before, but I wanted it now. “Yeah Han. That’s in the cards for me, but only if it’s with you. I didn’t mean to scare you so if I did…”

“No,” tears were in her eyes again. “You didn’t scare me. I trust you, I do. You know what’s funny? I planned an entire wedding to Derek and was minutes away from being the bride, but I never really saw my groom up there with me until I met you.”

I didn’t know what to say so instead I smiled like a goofball and leaned down to kiss her. My hand roamed from her cheek over her breasts to her stomach and finally to her pants. I undid her pants and slid my hand between her and her panties teasing her before sliding between her wet hot slit. She let out a guttural moan into my mouth as I tortured her sweet spot in the most pleasurable way possible. She opened her legs wider and reached down to the hem of my shirt so that she could pull it over my head and feel my bare skin on her hands. This was different than the last time we’d been together because it was more sensual and slow. I kept my fingers in her moist pussy and worked her to orgasm kissing her the entire time. Soft kisses, light kisses, deep kisses. It was intimate and slow. I looked in her eyes as she came and didn’t stop touching her until she came back down. I knew she wanted to return the favor but that wasn’t all the mattered to me. I pressed my lips to hers more forcefully this time trying to drink in as much of her as I could before she lifted herself up and pushed me down so that she could get to my massively hard cock.

For the first time I experienced the emotions that were supposed to come with sex and the best part was we weren’t even having it. I wanted my lips on hers as she stroked me into a frenzy. Her simple kisses made my heart race but feeling her jerk me off while kissing her and looking into her eyes was almost overwhelming. When I came I put my hand on the back of her neck under her hair and pulled her in for a hard, deep kiss before pulling away and pressing my nose to hers. “I love you,”

She smiled into me before giving me a quick peck on the lips. “I love you too. I only wish I would have told you sooner.”

“What made you change your mind anyway?” I asked innocently enough, genuinely curious to get inside her head.

Hannah sat up and swung her feet over the side of the bed. “Let’s go eat dinner and I’ll fill you in.”