An Unexpected Something New

This road trip sucked. We had three west coast games and we were losing them all so far. I got the shit hit out of me, heckled and overall just played shitty. Getting called out about it from the media didn’t help any and I had spent each day we were gone getting more and more angry. I was no fun to be around, Jordan could attest to that, and the only thing that was able to keep my mind of my bitterness was Hannah. Since I was a lousy prick I didn’t talk to her much because I didn’t want to subject her to my poor attitude. It wasn’t her fault, not even remotely, and I didn’t want to say something that I’d later regret. She was sweet and I adored her cute texts in her attempt to cheer me up but I couldn’t bring myself to respond the way I should have.

Whenever I was in a super douche mood like I was now I always ended up doing something stupid. I was determined to break that pattern. The dumbest thing I’d allow myself to do was go drinking with the guys to blow off some steam. If we were home I would have just gone straight to Hannah’s and blown off some steam in the best possible way, but that really wasn’t an option right now and doing it this way was stupid enough for me.

By night four I was intolerable and itching to go the fuck home. After losing yet again I was particularly pissy. I agreed to go out drinking with the guys again but planned to keep it strictly to light drinking. I had no intention of getting shit faced like the time I was with Letang because that directly led to hurting Hannah and I planned on never doing that again.

“Hey Crosby,” I heard my name from behind me as I sat at the bar. When I turned around Geno was there with a drink in his hand on his way to getting plastered as well. “See that girl over there?” he nodded and I followed the general direction of his head to a blonde girl. I could tell she was one of those girls that knew she was good looking and planned on coasting through life on that alone. “Yeah,” I nodded. “What about her?”

“She’s been looking over at you and smiling for like a half hour and you haven’t even glanced at her.”

“Okay. And I won’t. There’s a reason for that. Her name is Hannah. Seriously bro? You’re asking me to flirt with trouble.” I shot my eyes over to the meat he was attempting to dangle in front of me. Problem was not all the guys were as concerned with being faithful to their girls as I was.

“Really now,” Jordan chimed in from the seat beside me. “I can’t believe you’d even suggest that.”

“Oh get off your high horse Staal.” Geno shot back. “You were worse than I was.”

“Yeah well thing change.”

Geno turned back to me. “You’re really not interested?”

I looked over at her again and shook my head. “Nah man. I’m really not.”

“Well I’m sorry to have to tell you this,” he said not taking his eyes off of her. “But it looks like you’re going to need to tell her that yourself because she’s heading this way.”

“Fuck,” I said under my breath as the blonde made her way over. She leaned against the bar and flaunted her boobs in my face with a seductive smile. “How about a dance?” She skipped right past the formalities and immediately made her intentions known.

I shook my head. “No thanks.”

“Come on. Just a dance.” She traced her finger down my arm and bit her bottom lip.

“No.” I squirmed away. “Have a good night.”

She looked at me kind of shocked and swallowed nervously. I didn’t look at her again or give her the opportunity to say anything else, so she turned away and walked back to her friends, stunned she’d been turned down.

“You’re a fucking pussy,” Geno yelled at me in disbelief. “I can’t believe you turned her down.”

“I have a girl at home who I’m crazy about and I won’t hurt her. So you can call me whatever the fuck you want to call me, but I won’t do that to her. I love Hannah and that’s really all there is to it.”

“Love her so much that you’re willing to let her come between you and Tanger huh?”

“Get the fuck away,” I shouted. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Not even a little bit.” I turned and slammed my hand down on the bar in frustration before taking a gulp of my drink. After the week I’d already been having this was something I did not need.

“You just missed out on that girl, you know she’s a model right? And you’d say no to that because of Derek Roy’s sloppy seconds?”

I gritted my teeth and felt my blood boil with rage. I had every intention of punching him when I spun around but Jordan grabbed me and pushed me back down as he stepped in between us. “Ok Geno, I’d say you really had enough to drink. Get away before something bad happens. I can promise you’ll regret your words in the morning.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Geno slurred as he turned around to leave us. “Let’s see how long you last as the good boy Staal.”

I asked the bartender for another round for me and Jordan as I looked at him and shook my head. “Don’t worry about what he said. He’s wrong.”

“No,” he said somberly. “He might not be. I’m a pretty big fuck up especially with girls.”

“Don’t think that way. Seriously, he’s completely drunk. He’ll apologize tomorrow.”

“Will he?” Jord looked at me cynically. “Because if I remember correctly you and Kris still aren’t speaking to each other.”

I sighed as I chugged my wonderful alcoholic remedy. “What is with everyone lately? It’s like there’s an asshole bug floating around or something.”

“Ah, don’t act like you haven’t caught it too. Everyone’s been pissed because we’ve been losing.” Jordan said bitterly. He was right.

I nudged him. “You really think you’ll fuck up with Phoebe?”

“I don’t know. I hope not. But I know myself. Everyone else does too. It wouldn’t be surprising. Hell everyone expects me to fuck up.” I could tell he was discouraged by his confession and I offered as much hope as I could. The problem was, the longer we kept talking the more we were drinking and unsurprisingly we were getting more and more drunk.

I don’t know when it happened but there was a point that I crossed over to the dark side. I was shit faced, so was Jordan. In fact, so was the entire group of us. We desperately needed to blow off some steam and we’d taken it a little too far. So far, in fact, that despite individual grudges we were all getting along and laughing obnoxiously.

Geno put his hand on my back and gave it a pat. “I’m sorry about before man.” I would say that he said that, but it was more of an incoherent slur.

“No problem. It’s good,” I slurred back. It was quite possible that I’d gotten drunker tonight than when I went out with Kris. We started playing darts and having chugging contests and…it kind of just got out of control.

I watched as my friends started groping at girls and really started to hit the dance floor. After days of built up anger and frustration coupled with the extremely high levels of alcohol consumed, it was safe to say everyone wanted a good fuck. If Hannah were here I’d definitely have taken advantage of that. She wasn’t though. Neither were the other girls but that wasn’t stopping my friends.

Jordan was getting pulled by the collar to dance and I grabbed him quickly by the shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“I was bound to fuck up, right?” he shrugged unaware. He was sweaty, very red and his eyes were glazed over. I assumed I looked exactly the same way. “That girl you turned down before is still here you know. She’s a model. Just sayin. It’s one dance, not a marriage.” He nodded his head over in her direction and I couldn’t help but follow his direction.

Her eyes caught mine as I glanced over and she smiled victoriously. She had to be able to tell that I was drunk. Really drunk. And she was going to take full advantage of that. I watched her strut back over to me and wasn’t able to move. Was I interested? No. But I was sloshed and impaired.

“You ready for that dance now?” She purred hopeful. I felt it in my heart; I felt the guilt and the immediate negative reaction towards her. But again, I wasn’t myself. I was far from.

“I…” I couldn’t even think. I wanted to say no but I was sooo drunk. What I wanted was Hannah standing in front of me naked, but I wasn’t going to get that.

“I think you are,” she said as she pushed me back on the dance floor sexily. She ran her hands up my stomach and chest and wrapped them around my neck pressing our bodies together.

I was hot and sticky but that didn’t defer her from pressing her lips to my neck. Fuck it felt so good. I felt my cock jump and put my hands on her waist digging my fingers into her flesh. This week had been awful and I had so much pent up rage I could go for a release.

“If you want to go back to your hotel room I can guarantee you’ll get laid tonight,” she breathed into my ear. I wanted no part of this. None. The music was so loud that it was making me nauseous. Or maybe that was the alcohol. Or…the girl I’d put myself in a position with to offer me sex. Or maybe all of the above.

I grabbed her by the hand and stumbled out of the bar into the cool night air. It felt so good against my burning flesh and gave me momentary rationality. “I have to go,” I said with no regrets as I turned to her and quickly walked to my hired driver for the evening with no further explanation. Hannah didn’t deserve that. One dance my ass. I knew better and I wasn’t interested in her. But once again I’d gotten myself into trouble by drinking myself into a fool.

At least I had some brains, something inside me that told me to get away and get home before I did something I’d really regret. I never wanted to hurt Hannah and this alone would break her heart. However, the other problem was that I probably wouldn’t remember this in the morning. It was something I obviously would never had considered sober and now, well, I’d done some damage but I didn’t cheat. I never would. So perhaps if I did remember, I wouldn’t have to tell her.

Too bad I didn’t notice the cameras that caught me.

*****

“I’m really glad we were able to meet up. Jordan’s said so many nice things about you.” Hannah was sitting in Starbucks with Phoebe getting to know her and trying to be as friendly as possible. Phoebe seemed nice enough. She immediately hugged Hannah when she met her and couldn’t stop gushing over Jordan. She had her long dark curls swept up in a loose ponytail and wore what Hannah knew to be one of Jordan’s sweatshirts. Hannah walked in expecting to meet a bat out of hell but found Phoebe to be sweet, much sweeter than Jordan had let on.

“Me too.” Hannah genuinely meant that. “You should have Jord introduce you to the rest of the guys. They aren’t so bad,” she said with a smile.

“Tell me. What’s it like dating Sid? I’m sure it’s much more difficult than being with Jordan.”

“It’s not so bad. We keep it private. I have to ask you though, how did Jordan manage to keep you a secret for so long?”

Phoebe laughed a little as she took a sip of her coffee. “Well I guess he didn’t intend for me to become more than a fuck buddy. Or, if we’re being honest, a one night stand.”

“Yeah Sid mentioned that…” Hannah didn’t know what else to say.

“It’s okay,” Phoebe could sense Hannah’s uncertainty. “It was both of us. I didn’t really know what to expect when it happened. I expected to never hear from him again and I took it day by day and each day he kept calling me. He’s the best sex I’ve ever had and I didn’t want to fall for him because I know his rep but unfortunately he’s ruined me.”

“I know what you mean,” Hannah grinned but quickly wanted to change the topic. “Tell me more about yourself.”

“Well I’m in law school.”

“Law school? Really?”

“Yeah, it’s a pain in the ass but worth every damn second. Usually. I was actually out the night I found out about my LSATs celebrating the night I met Jordan.”

“I guess you got to celebrate pretty well then.”

“You’re not kidding,” Phoebe said as she quickly raised her eyebrows. “What about you. What do you do?”

“I majored in communications in college with focus on sports media. I went to school up in New York though. My past is a long story I’d rather not get into. I had a job and then I quit for certain reasons and well, long story short I ended up here and I’m happier than I ever was.”

“I don’t mean to pry but I know. Jordan told me. I respect you for it, no worries. We don’t have to get into any of that. By the way I can’t believe I didn’t say this the second I saw you but congrats on the engagement!” Phoebe gave a reassuring smile and Hannah appreciated it.

“Thank you,” she gushed. She loved talking about their engagement every chance she could. Hannah quickly glanced down at her phone that was resting on the table and pressed the main button to see she still hadn’t heard from her fiancée. She frowned for just a second and Phoebe took notice. “I had it out with Jordan this morning too. I didn’t want to get into it but then I realized you probably did too.”

Hannah cocked her head and wrinkled her brow. “What are you talking about?”

Phoebe looked confused as she suddenly realized Hannah really didn’t know what she was talking about. “Oh my God. You didn’t see the video, did you?”

“Video?” Hannah felt her heart jump up into her throat and she swallowed hard.

“Yeah…I’m sorry Han. I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?” Hannah was starting to breath heavier because this wasn’t good. She knew it wasn’t good. Sid had been different to her all week. He became more and more distant the longer he was gone and she tried not to let it bother her but it was there and it was making her more insecure with each passing day. This was only going to confirm it.

“The boys got caught red handed partying with a bunch of girls last night. Someone got it on tape and posted it on the internet. When I saw it I freaked out.”

“I…I, uh, I haven’t talked to Sid today. I haven’t talked to him since last night before he even went out. Was he, I’m guessing he was. He was on the video wasn’t he?”

Phoebe pursed her lips and slowly nodded her head. “Yeah Han. He was.”

“I’m supposed to meet him from here at his place. I’m not so sure I want to go now.” She fought back tears and shook her head.

“You should talk to him first. Let him explain himself, I’m sure it was a misunderstanding.” Phoebe hoped that was true but couldn’t be sure. She still wasn’t sure Jordan didn’t completely betray her. Truth was, he hurt her but he promised an explanation when he got home and he promised he’d make it up to her. They were in for a long talk but Phoebe didn’t want to pull the plug.
“I’m gonna head out then. I kind of need to talk to him about this.”

“No problem. I’m heading to Jordan’s too. I completely understand.”

Hannah stood up and was about to leave when she heard Phoebe call her. “Hey Han.”

She quickly turned around to look at her. “Yeah?”

“I had a really nice time. I don’t really have a lot of girlfriends, would it be alright if we did this again?”

Hannah smiled at her, “Of course. You have my number.” Jordan did well for himself. Hannah was proud.

*****

Hannah walked into Sid’s house with her heart pounding. To her surprise he was home and she didn’t know how long he had been. What she found odd was that he hadn’t called her to let her know. She knew he had a rough week but this was getting ridiculous.

“Hey…” he looked up at her from the couch and she stopped in her tracks.

“Hey.” Hannah stood there and watched as he stood up and made his way to her. His eyes were unfamiliar and cold. She expected him to scoop her up into his arms and kiss her with that hunger he always had for her. She expected to see that sparkle in his eyes when he looked at her and have the tenderness in his touches but he had none of it.

“How was…” Hannah started to ask but Sid interrupted her by grabbing her and pulling her body to his immediately kissing her and biting down to her neck. “Your trip,” she finished as he pulled at her shirt and lifted it up over her head. She didn’t get to keep talking because he kissed down her chest and ferociously grabbed at her breasts. “I missed you,” he moaned out as he kissed and licked down her stomach and hastily pulled her pants off of her leaving them and her panties in a puddle on the floor.

Sid pushed her back to the couch and quickly let his sweats fall to the floor. Hannah was disgusted that he was using her as a fuck, treating her like a whore. He didn’t embrace her, talk to her, kiss her. He just attacked her the second she walked in the door. She was willing to try and keep her cool and give him what he needed except for the video…she needed to know about it. What she saw him doing in the video…she needed to know and he wasn’t giving her the chance to ask, or the chance to stop him from what he was doing now. He leaned back and opened the drawer to his end table next to the couch and pulled out a condom. In one fluid motion he ripped off the top and was putting it on his erect cock. Hannah’s mouth hung open and she pushed him away from her.

“Get off me!” she screamed as she squirmed out from underneath him. Tears flowed down her cheeks and immediately grabbed her clothes from the floor and put them back on as Sid looked at her confused.

“What’s your problem Hannah?” Sid asked angry that she’d denied him what he’d been wanting all week; what he needed to relieve the stress and anger that had him extremely frustrated the entire time they were gone.

“My problem? What is this?” she motioned to herself, him and his condom. “Why is that laying in your drawer and why are you putting it on? We haven’t used one yet, right or wrong, we haven’t used anything. You go away, barely talk to me, get caught on video with some girl and come home without so much as a ‘hi’ or a kiss or ‘about that video…’ and just grab your condom and try to fuck me? Is that how you did it with the girl you were with last night? Or were you not even going to tell me?” Hannah didn’t even try to hide the hurt she was feeling or the tears that just fell from her eyes.

Sid looked down at the ground and for the first time finally stopped to put everything into perspective. He flashed back to last night. He was still hung over but after Jordan told him of his fight with Phoebe he remembered what happened and he knew he was in trouble but he didn’t let himself care because of the mood he had been in all week. He didn’t even think about whether or not Hannah knew. Now that she was standing in front of him crying he realized how much of a prick he’d been. He let out a deep breath. “Han I’m sorry.”

For the first time she saw the guy she fell in love with. Sid’s eyes were softer and brighter. She could see the remorse in them. Her fiancée had finally got back to her but she wasn’t about to forgive him. “Sorry? That’s it?”

“I didn’t think you even knew. I didn’t know until this morning. I went out drinking last night with the guys and I got really drunk—“

“Are you kidding me?” she screamed. “You think that’s an excuse? I feel like I’ve heard that one before. Oh wait, I have. Last time you went out with your friends and got too drunk you tried to manipulate me into having sex. It seems like every time you go out with your friends you get a little too drunk and treat me like a whore.”

Sid looked down at the ground ashamed. “Han I’m sorry. I mean it when I say I didn’t know what I was doing.” He tried to step towards her but she backed away. “Don’t come near me. I just need to know if you slept with her.”

Sid shook his head slowly. “No Han. I didn’t sleep with her. I just danced with her for like a second. Nothing happened. Nothing would ever happen.”

“Nothing happened? Looks like a hell of a lot happened. You don’t dance with someone like that if you aren’t at least thinking about going home with them.”

“It didn’t mean anything. I was really drunk. I promise I didn’t do anything. I couldn’t hurt you that much.”

“Couldn’t hurt me? You should have just done what you wanted because you already did. Do you do this each time you’re gone, I just found out about it now because someone taped you? I don’t think I can deal with this. You’re on the road a lot and you have bad stretches and you go out with the guys and you drink and you do something stupid. It seems like a pattern. I just don’t think I can spend the rest of my life worrying about what stupid thing you’ll do next time you get hammered.”

Sid felt his heart start to pound harder and had to force himself to breath. “So what are you saying?” he looked at her desperate. Everything he’s been going through all week suddenly didn’t matter. He realized how he’d been treating her and he felt sick about it. What he did to her she would never do to him and even though he had no intention of cheating he’d fucked up. She was dead serious and he didn’t want to lose her.

“I’m saying we might have rushed into this.” She didn’t take her eyes of him as she spun her engagement ring around her finger. Sid looked down at what she was doing to her ring with wide eyes. “Maybe you can put this in your side table too,” she said as she took it off and placed it in the open drawer.

Hannah wiped her eyes and turned to walk out the door but Sid sprinted in front of her and stood between her and the door. “Han I didn’t do anything. She asked me to dance and I said no, absolutely not. I told the guys I loved you.” He knew Hannah was right and his actions were repulsive. If he wanted to have a real future with her he needed to grow up and not be a dick.

“Um, but that’s not what the video shows.”

“No, I know that. I kept drinking and later on in the night I foolishly let it happen but I stopped it just as fast. I swear.” He put his hand under her chin and lifted it up so she looked at him. “I had zero intentions of sleeping with her.”

“You should have stopped when you said no the first time. I hope it was worth it.”

She went to push by him and leave but he grabbed her and in one last desperate attempt pulled her to him and pressed his lips to hers. He wanted her to see how much he loved her and how much what happened meant nothing to him. He wanted to take back the shit attitude he had all week but he had to fight for her now and he knew it. She pushed him away and rested the bridge of her nose against his. “Hannah I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I hurt you. You have to believe me,” he said as he cradled her face in his hands. “I love you. Don’t go. Please.”

“I know.” Hannah calmly took him in and ran her hand down his cheek. She kissed him lightly then pulled away. “I love you too Sid. But I’m still going.”