An Unexpected Something New

I knew this wasn’t good but I couldn’t understand why. I hesitantly approached Jordan in attempt to calm his frantic ass down. I knew how he could be when he was this frazzled and I didn’t want to subject Hannah to it at all.

“What’s up?” he asked in a borderline mocking tone. “I’m going crazy Crosby. She flipped out, she left.”

“I don’t understand,” I flubbed with my words. “Last time I talked to you things were fine. I mean, not fine but not like this. You told me you talked to her. Hannah and I talked while we were in Buffalo and Phoebe’s the one she found out about the video from. She said Phoebe is totally in love with you, not leaving. I don’t get what happened.”

He paced back and forth and angrily ran his fingers through his hair tugging on it a bit. “I talked to her, yeah. We fought and talked about the video but I hadn’t told her everything yet. I hadn’t told her I almost went home with someone else, I didn’t really get into the making out part. I came clean about everything and she lost it. She started to cry and wouldn’t let me near her.”

“Shit…” I sighed. This was about to become a much more complicated situation. It was at that point that I heard Hannah get out of the car and watched as she made her way inside. She was uncomfortable with the Jordan’s demeanor and didn’t want to interrupt so she walked by without looking at us, trying to be as invisible as possible.

“I asked her to forgive me Crosby. I begged her. She told me that she’s going to go out and get drunk, fucking rub up against another guy and make out with him, seriously consider fucking him and then come back and ask if I can forgive her.”

“Fuck,” I said under my breath. “She said that?”

“Yeah and she meant it. She’s out now.” I’d never seen Jordan so physically torn apart over a girl. He looked so distraught I couldn’t help but feel for the bastard. “I- I didn’t mean to barge in on you and wait here like a fucking lunatic for you to get back with your girl but I can’t…I don’t know what to do.”

I looked beyond him as I heard my door open and saw Hannah step out dressed much hotter than when she went in. We had a lot of traveling under our belt and we both opted for comfort, though she took my breath away without wearing any make up, I felt my cock twitch as I watched her walk to the car all done up and in a sexy little number, get in and drive away. I wanted to run up to the window and stop her, ask where the fuck she was going and why, but I was frozen on the pavement and it was too late. I would have commented on it but I didn’t get the chance.

“Wow. You’re letting her go out alone looking that good?”

“I don’t know where the fuck she went!” I ran my hand through my hair this time and let out a deep breath. “Let’s go inside before my neighbors call the cops. We look crazy.”

As we stepped in and I closed the door behind me Jordan turned around quick as a lightening bolt. “Fuck! Sid she went to Phoebe. Why else would she get all sexed up and leave like that?”

I dropped my head back and closed my eyes. Of course she did. I don’t know why I didn’t instinctively think of it. I should have known. Though knowing where she was going and not being sure of the exact location didn’t make me feel any better. “You’re right.” I tried not to be pissed that she hadn’t acknowledged me or anything before she left.

“How’s that going by the way?” Jordan sat down and for the first time looked like he took a breath.

“What? Me and Han? We’re good.”

“Are you? Because I thought I was fine with Phoebe.”

“Jord that’s a little bit different. You went a little more extreme than I did.”

“Don’t remind me. I just hate the thought of how I made her feel man. I never cared before. Never. The guilt never ate at me, especially not like this.”

I smirked as I sat down next to him. “You think I ever felt this way before? I never hopped planes to find someone. I never waited or put someone before-- I guess-- myself. I never wanted to not hurt someone as much as I don’t want to hurt Han and I never wanted to marry someone. I mean,” I turned to him and rubbed my temples with my index and middle fingers, “honestly, I actively think about marrying her. Every single day. I want to marry her before she has the chance to slip away from me.” I was brutally honest with my friend sitting beside me. I would have never dared express my feelings about her in such detail if I didn’t know he was in the same boat, well, getting there.

“See, I never would have understood that before now. I would have tried and of course I like Han, I would have supported you. But it’s like an entirely new ballgame now. I think I lost her and I hate myself for it.”

I remember feeling this way with Hannah, I knew how the poor guy felt. It was the worst imaginable feeling. “I’ve been there Jordan. I know. But I didn’t lose Hannah and you won’t lose Phoebe.”

“I won’t?” He looked at me seriously for reassurance.

“Well, not if you get off your ass and get to her now before she has the chance to fuck up.”

He let out a deep breath and sat forward, slapping his hands down on his knees. “You’re right. Let’s clean up a bit. Let’s go get our girls.”

I got up and freshened up a bit. As I looked in the mirror while I shaved I secretly thanked God that I had Hannah and that our relationship wasn’t so…volatile. Not that Jordan and Phoebe’s was, but I knew that even in my worst moments with Hannah, she’d never go out and hurt me that way. She always demonstrated mercy on me that I didn’t deserve. She always forgave me when I had no right to ask for it. I was more determined now more than ever to wipe away any doubt she had in me.

I met Jordan downstairs and thought for the first time to glance at my phone. Thankfully I had a message from Hannah that told me where she was going and confirmed the obvious, that it was to meet Phoebe and try and talk her off the ledge. My girl was amazing.

“So everything’s really good between you and Hannah?” Jordan asked again as he sat anxiously in the passenger seat.

“I think so.” I let out a breath. “Well, yeah. We had a fight this morning, she kinda bugged out for a change. She doesn’t want a wedding now. Well at least that’s what she’s claiming. Most guys would jump for joy but I feel like…I don’t know. She had this elaborate, beautiful wedding planned with Derek that the entire world knew about and with me, she wants to hide it. I mean it when I say I plan on doing the marriage thing one time—I’m not letting her go, I know she’s the girl I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life, so I wouldn’t mind doing it up right. It hurts she doesn’t want to do that with me.”

“It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you as much. She’s scared Sid. It’s obvious. I mean, you were there, so you of all people need to know how humiliating it was for her that day.”

“But I’d never do that to her.”

“Don’t you think she thought the same thing with Derek? She might not have been sold that he was the right guy, ya know, but even if she thought they’d break up, I’m sure she never thought it would be on her wedding day in front of everyone.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “So, what? Are you saying she doesn’t trust me enough?”

“No,” Jordan shook his head. “I’m saying go a little easy on her.”

“And then there’s the issue of her giving her virginity to me. Like she kind of regrets it.”

“She said that?”

“Well, no. But it feels that way by the things she says. She’s afraid I’m going to walk out because she compromised herself for me and that kills me. I look at it as the most beautiful, incredible moment of my life. To think she regrets it in anyway, I can’t take it.”

“That’s…tough. I don’t think she regrets it Sid. I don’t. I think she’s got that fear in the back of her mind that you’ll hurt her. I mean, lets be honest here. You already have.”

*****
When Hannah walked in there was no question when she laid eyes on Phoebe that she was drunk. Hannah felt her heart sink when she saw how Phoebe was hanging over some other guy. She pushed her way over and grabbed Phoebe by the wrist effectively pulling her away from her little friend. “Hey,” she yelled.

“Hannah!” Phoebe’s eyes lit up and she pulled her into a hug. “I’m so glad you came out!” she slurred.

“What are you doing?” Hannah looked at Phoebe genuinely concerned. “You’re really alone?”

“Not anymore!”

“Phoebe,” Hannah pulled her over to the bar so they could take a seat and settle down a bit. “What’s going on?”

“I told Jordan I was going to do the exact same thing to him that he did to me and if he could get over it, if he could forgive me, then I’d give him another chance.”

Hannah tilted her head and squeezed her eyes shut. She knew the details, Sid had told her, and she hated that Phoebe was hurting this much. “Phoebe you can’t do this.”

“Oh don’t get all preachy on me. I don’t know how you could even defend Jordan after knowing what Sid did to you. It’s only a matter of time before he fucks another girl. You want to live your life worrying that you might be living a lie? Go on,” she yelled in drunken rage, “But I won’t have it. You’re going to regret fucking him, I can promise that. When he fucks someone behind your back and gives in, you’re going to be left in shambles.”

Hannah felt her eyes sting as tears threatened to fall. She contemplated running out and not stopping until she got to her house but she couldn’t leave Phoebe alone in this condition. “People change Phoebe.” She knew better than to argue or try to reason with a drunk person but she wasn’t going to take her unnecessary verbal lashing. “Sid’s changed since I came into his life. Jordan’s changed since he met you. And I know this because I knew Jordan, even if it wasn’t for that long, but I knew him before you came along and he’s changed since you have. He messed up and I don’t condone it, I don’t know if I could even forgive it, but he’s not my boyfriend. He’s yours and you chose to be with him knowing his track record. It doesn’t excuse what he did, but you stooping to his drunken level and doing the same thing makes you no better than he was that night.”

“And you running off to Buffalo makes you so right?”

Hannah inhaled deeply and tried to keep her composure. “My mistakes are my own and I regret it, just like you’ll regret this. See, I might have run off to a wedding out of state and did it to make a dig at Sid but I only have eyes for that crazy hockey player and I’d never go out and hang on someone else, kiss someone else, let them kiss me…like you’re doing now. It wouldn’t matter if I didn’t know that it was killing you too.”

Phoebe’s eyes filled with tears and she couldn’t do anything but look down at the ground.

“Sid has made mistakes, and so have I. But even when he makes a mistake I won’t change who I am to spite him. You don’t do that when you love someone and I know you love Jordan.”

“He broke my heart Hannah,” Phoebe broke down and buried her face in her hands. “I knew what I was getting into but I guess I thought he wouldn’t do anything like that.”

“I’m not telling you to forgive him and I’m not telling you not to. I’m saying that if you love him and you do decide to still be with him and give him another chance, you can’t be in this kind of relationship where you go tit for tat. Or else it’ll end no matter what. And you’re better than this Phoebe.”

Phoebe wiped her eyes with her fingers and nodded her head. “Sid better know what he has in you,” she let out a little laugh. “I’m sorry for what I said to you.”

“Excuse me,” the bartender cut in. “These are from those two guys across the bar,” he said as he placed down two drinks in front of the girls. Hannah wrinkled her brow as she looked at the red drink in front of her, it was her favorite, for lack of a better word. She looked quickly at Phoebe who was looking at her dark drink thinking the same thing. They exchanged glances then turned around and followed the direction of the bartenders nod. When they did they were looking into the eyes of Jordan and Sid.

*****

I know I smiled wide when Hannah’s eyes caught mine and lit up. When we walked in I immediately spotted Hannah sitting with Phoebe who was crying. After breathing a sigh of relief that she wasn’t with another guy and no one was crowding around her, I told Jordan to take a seat and wait. It obviously needed a few minutes to calm down before she would be ready to talk to him and interrupting would be stupid.

I stood up and practically ran to Hannah when we had the drinks sent over and she made her way quickly to me. After hearing the problems between Jordan and Phoebe it made me want to scoop her up in my arms and do whatever I needed to so that she knew I wasn’t going to hurt her. Our problems were minimal and I couldn’t have loved this girl more. I might have been a fuck up but she never hurt me in the capacities I’d hurt her, she’d never dream of it.

“Hey gorgeous,” I purred into her ear. “Are you here with anyone?” I asked playfully.

“Not anyone particularly,” she smiled back.

“Mind if I sweep you off for a dance?”

“Hmmm,” she teased as she pretended to think about it. “My fiancé might have a problem with that.”

“Well we can’t tell him then,” I whispered into the side of her head as I pulled her tightly to me and I felt her dig her fingers into my waist. I wrapped my arm around her and led her out to the dance floor, both of us quickly glancing back to see how things were going between Jordan and Phoebe. About the time I was guiding Hannah on to the dance floor, Jordan was leading her back to the booth we had been in.

“You think they’ll pull through?” I looked down into Hannah’s eyes.

“I don’t know Sid. I hope so. She loves him.”

“He’s an idiot but he loves her. I think that if she gives him another chance he won’t hurt again. I mean he’ll fuck up but not like that.”

“You sure?” She looked at me and I knew it wasn’t just Jordan she was asking about.

I suddenly realized we were standing in the middle of the dance floor not moving, just looking into each other’s eyes. “I know we’re okay from everything the past few days. I just need to ask you something Hannah, and no matter what I need you to be honest.” I looked at her and she nodded her head. “Whenever something between us goes wrong or we have a fight you seem to vocalize the fact that you regret us having sex and I guess I need to know if you really do.”

Hannah’s face turned pink and she looked down at the ground before looking up at me. “No.” She was serious as a heart attack, not an ounce of weakness in her voice. “I don’t regret it. I love you, I’ve told you that. I just get afraid sometimes that you’ll leave. I know you won’t. I trust you more than I’ve trusted anyone, it’s just something I have to work through and it isn’t even a big deal. I love you Sidney,” she was the most genuine I’d ever heard her voice. “I don’t regret a second of being with you. It feels so right.”

My lips curled into a smile, a relieved smile at that. “You mean that?”

“I don’t want you to think for even a second that I regret it. You’re everything I’ve always wanted and I’d do it all over again. Being with you means everything to me.”

I leaned down and kissed her hard on the mouth and didn’t care who saw. I would have pulled her into the shitty bathroom and fucked her senseless but she deserved way better than that. I loved this girl; I loved her more than life itself.

“I promise you Hannah, I’ll never hurt you. I’m never leaving you.” I kissed the back of her neck behind her ear and made a trail down to her shoulder.

“I know,” she panted back. “We’re okay. This wasn’t even about us. It was about tweedle dee and tweedle dumb over there,” she gave me an incredible smile. “Look,” she nodded behind me. “They’re leaving together and holding hands. I guess whatever they decided they aren’t calling it quits just yet.”

“What did you say to her anyway?” I turned and looked at her.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she shrugged it off before pressing her lips to mine. “Can we go home now?” she asked as she pulled away.

“Yeah,” I nodded. I scooped her up and squeezed her, breathing her in. “Let’s go.”

*****

“How’d it go last night?” I asked Jordan when I saw him at the arena for practice. “You guys left together so we figured it had to be a good sign.”

“We’re still figuring it out, but it’s getting there. I told her what I needed to tell her. I didn’t let her walk away. There were a lot of apologies coming from both of us. I guess all I need to do is prove I won’t do that to her again. She needs to trust me every day, day in and day out. She needs to trust I won’t cheat when I’m out with you guys or on the road, and I know that’s a tall order. It’s hard.”

“I know how that is. I’m just glad she’s willing to give you a second chance. I don’t want to see you lose the first and only girl you’ve really ever fallen for.”

“I don’t plan on having a second,” he chimed in. “Not anytime soon, but eventually, I’m going to marry her. She’s ruined me. It’s good and bad I suppose,” he said with a laugh. “Hey,” he got a little more serious. “You need to thank Hannah for me. If it wasn’t for her I’m not sure I would have a second chance right now. For all I know Phoebe would have gone home with another guy and I’d be ripping my heart out about now.”

I cocked my head to hear more. Hannah hadn’t told me anything. “What’d she do?”

“She didn’t do anything, according to Phoebe, it’s what she said. Phoebe said that when Han got there she was a mean, sad drunk and she took it out on Hannah. She wasn’t playing fair. She said Hannah pulled her away from some guy and sat her down at the bar, tried to ask what she was doing. Phoebe said that she flipped and told her not to defend me and said that she was basically stupid for being with you because it was only a matter of time before you fucked some other girl, that marrying you would be a mistake and basically that she would regret having sex with you.”

My heart stung a bit that Phoebe had said such awful things and Hannah hadn’t mentioned it even a little. “She said that?”

“Yeah,” Jordan nodded his head knowing it hit home a little considering what I had confided in him last night. “Hannah didn’t tell you?” I shook my head no and he continued. “She isn’t proud of it, but Han handled her like a pro. She said that Hannah told her that even though you’ve made mistakes she loves you and she trusts you and basically she would never hurt you or seek revenge against you because that isn’t what you do when you love someone, and that she shouldn’t do it to me.”

“Wow.” I was kind of speechless. Hannah hadn’t told me any of this. “I’m amazed that she didn’t tell me.”

“I guess she didn’t want you to think she took Phoebe’s drunken rant to heart. I’ll tell you what though man, if Hannah can forgive all the shit you’ve done to her and make Phoebe stop to consider her actions, make her realize she wanted to give a second chance, she’s worth everything you’ve said she is.”

“She’s incredible,” I said, my heart fluttering.

*****

When I left practice I made my way over to Hannah’s without calling or saying a word. She wouldn’t be expecting me until later but I couldn’t wait. I pulled in her driveway, thrust the car in park and rushed to her door still in my sweaty practice clothes. She must have heard me fumbling with the keys trying to open the door because she came mid fumble and opened it. “Hey baby, what are you doing here?”

I looked at her and felt all the emotions I felt earlier when Jordan told me what Phoebe had said to Han, how it could have caused so much doubt in her but she tossed it aside and told her that our love was bigger than that. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her forcefully to me until our lips met, mine more hungry for hers at the moment. There was no doubt that I was telling her something by the way I kissed her and she knew it. I didn’t pull away until we both needed to come up for air, lips both swollen and blood racing. “What…what was that for?” she asked still in a daze.

I took a deep breath and looked into her eyes perfectly content. “Nothing, I just love you.”

She grabbed my hand and led me down the hallway to her bedroom. “You can’t stop there,” she said with a sexy smirk.

I just wanted to hold her, touch her, and caress her. After hearing how much she loved me, which I had already known, I just couldn’t hold back. I didn’t need to tell her that I knew what she said, I just wanted to show her how much I adored her. As we walked into her bedroom and leaned down and whispered into her ear. “You win by the way.”

She turned her head and looked at me confused. “Win?”

“With the wedding. We’ll do it your way. Whatever that is.”

She smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing me down to kiss her and I put my hands on her hips pushing her back to the bed.